Just what, exactly, should I write about my recent trip to "The Happiest Place on Earth?" I wonder?
-I could tell you about how inordinately, absurdly expensive it is. ($174 for a two-day pass + hotel + meals that cost an average of $15 each, for nothing fancy!) For two days at Disneyland, in total I spent over $500. FOR ME. And I didn't buy a single souvenir. Not even a pair of Mickey ears. (I have a pair from my last trip sitting on my desk at work, collecting dust.) I could have gone and sat on a beach for a week for that much money. If you have kids and you want to take them to Disneyland, I FEAR for your bank account.
-I could talk about the evil genius of the Disney Corporation. About how they created an empire of cartoons, stuffed animals, theme parks and TV programming that generate amazing amounts of revenue for supplying people with things that are completely unnecessary to life... If I ever have children I now am even more inclined to want to raise them on a farm without cable, tv, perhaps internet and especially without any clue about children's television or Disney characters. Extreme? I used to think so... now, not so much.
-Don't get me started on the spoiled, obnoxious, whiny children.
-I could tell you about how I spent over twenty hours standing in line over two days (to ride rides that average possibly two minutes each.)
-You could be dying to know about the changes at Disneyland. It's always changing, you know. And not just the park in General, but the rides that we know and love and grew up with. Disney ruined Pirates of the Caribbean a couple of years ago. Now they've absolutely gutted the glory that was the Haunted Mansion and replaced it with a Nightmare Before Christmas Homage, I mean pile of steaming garbage. Space Mountain has also been "Re-imagined" and it's TERRIBLE. Just what in the world do ghosts have to do with a Space ride? It was the stupidest thing I've ever seen. The coaster is still fun, but the overall cohesiveness of the ride idea has been destroyed. I don't know who these "Re-imagineers" are, but they need to be de-imagineered.
-Pirates of the Caribbean ride is closed. (It's my favorite ride in the park, or was until it was "re-imagined" by a complete moron.)
Or
-You might want to know that I still get a little giddy when I go into the park. I always turn left first. I always go to the Tiki Room first. And it makes me giggle. Like a little girl.
-Indiana Jones is the best ride in the Magic Kingdom. Just sayin'. (Tower of Terror is the best ride in California Adventure.)
-You should know that you have to watch the fireworks show at Disneyland on Main Street. Seriously. I don't even like fireworks (truly) and was SO impressed with that show. The fireworks are set off to a story about Disneyland and you're taken on an audio/fireworks tour of the history of the park. If all fireworks shows were like unto Disney's fireworks show, I might watch them. It was wonderful!
-Did you know there's a canoe ride? I didn't until this trip. It's called the Davy Crockett Canoe Adventure (or something to that effect.) Davy Crockett and Annie were my favorite movies as a kid. Seriously. You get to paddle a canoe around Pirate Island. It has one of the shortest wait times for a ride in the entire park and you get an arm workout. I LOVED IT.
-I love all of the Halloween decor in the park. LOVE it. Which is funny because I really don't care much for Halloween.
And you might be interested to know that in the entire weekend I took precisely one photo and one photo alone. Ready for it. Okay:
-I could tell you about how inordinately, absurdly expensive it is. ($174 for a two-day pass + hotel + meals that cost an average of $15 each, for nothing fancy!) For two days at Disneyland, in total I spent over $500. FOR ME. And I didn't buy a single souvenir. Not even a pair of Mickey ears. (I have a pair from my last trip sitting on my desk at work, collecting dust.) I could have gone and sat on a beach for a week for that much money. If you have kids and you want to take them to Disneyland, I FEAR for your bank account.
-I could talk about the evil genius of the Disney Corporation. About how they created an empire of cartoons, stuffed animals, theme parks and TV programming that generate amazing amounts of revenue for supplying people with things that are completely unnecessary to life... If I ever have children I now am even more inclined to want to raise them on a farm without cable, tv, perhaps internet and especially without any clue about children's television or Disney characters. Extreme? I used to think so... now, not so much.
-Don't get me started on the spoiled, obnoxious, whiny children.
-I could tell you about how I spent over twenty hours standing in line over two days (to ride rides that average possibly two minutes each.)
-You could be dying to know about the changes at Disneyland. It's always changing, you know. And not just the park in General, but the rides that we know and love and grew up with. Disney ruined Pirates of the Caribbean a couple of years ago. Now they've absolutely gutted the glory that was the Haunted Mansion and replaced it with a Nightmare Before Christmas Homage, I mean pile of steaming garbage. Space Mountain has also been "Re-imagined" and it's TERRIBLE. Just what in the world do ghosts have to do with a Space ride? It was the stupidest thing I've ever seen. The coaster is still fun, but the overall cohesiveness of the ride idea has been destroyed. I don't know who these "Re-imagineers" are, but they need to be de-imagineered.
-Pirates of the Caribbean ride is closed. (It's my favorite ride in the park, or was until it was "re-imagined" by a complete moron.)
Or
-You might want to know that I still get a little giddy when I go into the park. I always turn left first. I always go to the Tiki Room first. And it makes me giggle. Like a little girl.
-Indiana Jones is the best ride in the Magic Kingdom. Just sayin'. (Tower of Terror is the best ride in California Adventure.)
-You should know that you have to watch the fireworks show at Disneyland on Main Street. Seriously. I don't even like fireworks (truly) and was SO impressed with that show. The fireworks are set off to a story about Disneyland and you're taken on an audio/fireworks tour of the history of the park. If all fireworks shows were like unto Disney's fireworks show, I might watch them. It was wonderful!
-Did you know there's a canoe ride? I didn't until this trip. It's called the Davy Crockett Canoe Adventure (or something to that effect.) Davy Crockett and Annie were my favorite movies as a kid. Seriously. You get to paddle a canoe around Pirate Island. It has one of the shortest wait times for a ride in the entire park and you get an arm workout. I LOVED IT.
-I love all of the Halloween decor in the park. LOVE it. Which is funny because I really don't care much for Halloween.
And you might be interested to know that in the entire weekend I took precisely one photo and one photo alone. Ready for it. Okay:
