1d20 of Ick:

1. Eye tendrils, flailing all the time
2. Back scales (2"-3"), itchy and molting
3. Constant wheezing from your new, tiny "throat mouth"
4. Sideburns, running down neck, shoulders, ending at wrists (hopefully)
5. A slippery ooze between extremities that won't go away, even with washing
6. Extra teeth! Between your toes...
7. Shoulders begin to bubble and swell into large sacks of leaky, too-sweet smelling fluid
8. "Everything is normal!" say the tiny faces that appear where your kneecaps used to be
9. Iguanna tail sprouts, greens up nicely, turns brown and dies...on an endless cycle
10. Roll twice on this table, if you get #20 both times, you lucked out--no mutation!
11. Knees now bend the other direction, walk like a chicken (add +2 to your move if you roleplay a headbob for the rest of the session)
12. The person on your left gets to pick any two from this list for you
13. Heel hooves! Which are hooves. On your heels.
14. Fancy colored fish fins line your cranium and spine; also, constant dry mouth for some reason
15. Polydactyly protrusions overcome hands, constantly wiggling
16. Gurgling a pungent slime when attempting to make persuasive arguments
17. Narwhal tusk! You know that's a tooth that protrudes through your face, right? 
18. An ankylosaurus tail bursts out the back of your pants---pray you have the abs, back, and calf muscles to counter the added mass
19. Pheromone firestorm gives you a massive +5 Charisma bonus, any NPCs you encounter follow you around for 1d10 rounds
20. All of the above (you poor bastard!)

Happy Halloween!

Just a few quick and easy one-off mission ideas for X-plorer GMs/referees. These run as short, pick-up jobs for PCs to rack up some extra XP and space creds between campaigns:

Take a salvage assignment to exploit a derelict (1d6) 

1. ...high radiation danger on board (hazard pay is double normal rates) special gear required 
2. ...near a known, dangerous anomalie (e.g., black hole, supernova) (pay is triple, plus anything you find that's not on the manifest)
3. ...near a "devil's triangle" where space sailors are known to disappear (e.g., region of space planet, etc.) (no pay, but you may keep whatever you find that doesn't belong to the client)
4. ...of a famous galactic crime boss (pay is double, expect a bonus and future contracts) but if PCs keep anything at all, the boss will put a hit on them
5. ...which is an undead husk of a previously "living" ship (pay is double, and you get a "chaperone" to make sure you're doing things "right")
6. ...just yer average abandoned ship...yep, nothing unusual to speak of... (pay is normal, ship hyperjumps to primative "lost island" system as soon as all X-plorers are aboard)

Take a live bounty (1d8) 

1. Runaway bride/groom (grifter) who's left the last few spouses/marks totally broke, heartbroken, (lots of scorned exes desperate to get to her/him first)
2. Gang of galactic bank robbers who made off with a fortune belonging to a long list of dubious investors (same as above, but potential for space gangs, decadent-and-crumbling empires, etc. to be after them)
3. Cosmic mind wizard, extremely dangerous, powerful, and likes to make law enforcement his lab rats
4. Previous bounty hunter who absconded with last quarry for reasons unknown
5. Deposed interstellar gangster who's heirs are looking to put a hit on him so they can win control of his empire
6. Shamed politician who's gone missing and knows too many juicy government secrets and is ready to sing like a canary
7. Escaped android convict who hates humans, aliens, and anything else with a heartbeat
8. Alien meta-morpher that's infiltrated a royal house on a civilized planet to overthrow a rich galactic ally

1. Extermination of space kaiju that are plaguing orbital- and asteroid-based luxury hotels
2. Eradicate an Insectaur infestation, which are in this case a race of garbage truck-sized, robotic hornets that move from system-to-system
3. Infiltrate a sentient, artificial planet's subterranean tunnels to shut down its main computer before it makes it's way to Earth
4. Immoliate a particularly nasty strain of space algae that's gumming up spaceship lanes and creating a "Sargasso Sea" from which no ship can escape....without getting stuck yourself 
5. Take down anyone in the "Take a live bounty" table, but for half the XP and double the money (also, the PCs automatically incur someone looking for revenge in a later session) 
6. Literally "take out the trash" by capturing and/or blasting space junk endangering an orbital space station or planetary settlement

So it turns out even Apollo astronauts can't escape red tape! This is a supremely cool artifact from the Apollo era space missions--it's the customs form that astronauts Armstrong, Aldrin, and Collins had to complete on their return home from the moon.

This is something I'd LOVE to incorporate into a game, being the inclusion of an at-the-table artifact, plus seeding endless options for role-playing. Is the form filled out correctly? Some bureaucrat is not going to like that and this could mean anything for the PCs:

1. Delay in travel makes for a stay at a local space hotel or stop at a cantina (1d4 days)
2. PCs are detained, quarantined, questioned, tortured, mind-melded for information (1d4 days)
3. PCs are not allowed on-planet and are refused entry to the dock at the spaceport in question
4. PCs are welcomed for bringing much needed (whatever the cargo is) but then sentiment turns when it's not enough for the populous
5. Forms get mixed up or are forged by a corrupt official, fingering them for a crime they didn't commit (stolen goods, breaking embargo, etc.)
6. The form falls into the hands of local merchants who are looking to snuff out competition at the source--with the suppliers
7. Forms attract all manner of criminal element trying to "rob a train" and the PCs are the protectors of said cargo
8. Forms are a way of stealing PCs identities, ship registration, and mission info so they can be offed and replaced
9. Guards are unable to read the forms (either because of smudges, missing data, whatever) and PCs are held and added to a "watch list"
10. Nothing really, it's just a record of the cargo, but it's held onto and comes back to haunt them later

And so forth....

• Via The Atlantic, with a hat tip to Boing Boing
• Originally posted to Space.com

So older versions of D&D have hirelings--hired labor/meatshield minions who are the first line of fodder in any exploration or combat scenario. But what are the sci-fi equivelents? Red shirts, are surely at the top of that list. But it got me thinking, a few possibilities about some sci-fi versions of these para-PCs. Here's my d30 "chump chart":

"Put Johnson down and get back to work you lazy tribble-biters!"

1. Men-at-blaster-arms
2. Force screen operators
3. Pack beast wranglers
4. Computer bank switch expert
5. Load-lifter pilot
6. Ray rifle carrier (doesn't actually get to shoot it though)
7. Jefferiesweeps (guys with circular brooms who clean the jefferies tubes on starships)
8. Short order food replicator chef
9. Hoversled / moon buggy driver
10. Robot assembler
11. Sliding door repairman
12. Guys who pull bodies off the battlefield
13. Bulkhead repair crew
14. Boarding party welcoming committee
15. Teleporter repair guinea pig
16. Droid cleaner / enslaver
17. Sensor-corder knob turner
18. Jump gate / super laser lever puller
19. Zookatube rear-fueling technician
20. iPad holding cruise bureaucrat
21. All-purpose space-grease monkey
22. Space janitor
23. Scanning crew guy
24. Xenolinguistics intern
25. Space caddy
26. Laser sword inspector (other end, genius!)
27. Medical assistant
28. Door greeter
29. Galaxy's "most feared" bail bondsman
30. Anyone in engineering

Here's a list of gear for your laser fodder, give each crew member just one item. This is d30 as well, but this way you can roll the item and work-up your crew in reverse.

1. Sonic drill
2. Big magnet on a little crane
3. Laser or sonic rifle
4. Hoversled
5. Macroscope

   "Dad's home! I hear the garage door!"

6. Atomic reactor service pack (full radiation suit, radiation badge, multitool, graphing calculator)
7. Starfighter service pack (hydrospanner, plasma torch, face shield, cigar) 
8. Robot service pack (hydrospanner, oil can, data card, restriction bolt)
9. Rocket boots
10. Force screen groundstake emitter
11. Sensor-corder
12. Circular space broom
13. Blasting caps
14. Mop bucket
15. Dyson Vacuum of Space, Space Vacuum™
16. Medical wand
17. Hypo-stim packs (set of 2)
18. Portable energizer
19. Tripod with screw-on top
20. Hyperdrive fuel can
21. Load-lifter
22. Malfunctioning translator
23. Meal trays
24. Case of dueling ray pistols
25. Inflatable moon tent
26. Radar dish helmet
27. Beast saddle
28. Tranquilizers
29. Clipboard
30. Coffin

Anything else that should be on the list?

I recently found some old notes I had on post-Jedi job opportunities--in other words, what do Jedi do when there's no proper temple or organization for the Order. If you've ever played the 2E version of West End Games' Star Wars RPG, they had a character template for a "failed Jedi". This was ostensibly any Jedi who survived The Purge and went on to choose a new line of work, be it paid or hobo.

So here's a list to get the ball rolling (literally, it's a random table of course!). Keep in mind, that any Jedi in hiding in plain view needs to remain so and if their powers come in to play they need to be able to explain their powers away as "tricks":

1. Psychic / Fortune Teller
2. Street Magician
3. Private Detective (a la Psych or The Mentalist, but with real powers)
4. Investigative Journalist
5. Gangsters / Smuggler / Street Informant
6. Physician / Veterinarian / Horticulturist (for those specializing in healing Force powers)
7. Archivist / Librarian
8. Alien Artifact Expert
9. Ghost Catcher / Exorcist
10. Homeless / Hermit
11. Beast Whisperer
12. Circus Freak
13. Psychiatrist / Svengali 
14. Gambler / Grifter / Stock Broker
15. Politician (after elective surgery to disguise oneself)
16. Sports Star (ditto)
17. University Professor
18. Combat Trainer
19. Ruler of a Primitive Society
20. Night Club Bouncer

Common sense dictates that many of these can be combined. And it should go without saying that they no longer need to stay completely on the light side of the Force. Once they're unemployed, their ethics are in a state of flux.

This also could just as easily work for any other RPG setting using psionicist, but I especially like the notion of a disbanded society of psionic ronin looking for purpose after The Fall.

Can you think of any others? I'll add them to the list.

An "Exonaut" Class Destroyer!

Looking for a vessel to take to the stars and beyond? You're in luck (as long as you're not picky!) because you can whip one up by hitting the "Build It" button on shapeWright. It's basically a random shape generator that quickly puzzles together a spaceship from pre-made forms.

You're flying full-tilt through the black, starlines whiz past your gaze and then you hear the horrible, gut-wrenching sound of the hyperdrive crying out and then suddenly silent. Roll 1d10:

1. Normal space becomes impenetrable: You can't seem to exit hyperspace, it's almost as if there's a hard wall on the other side. You're stuck in hyperspace for 1d10 rounds.
2. Evasive manuvers! An unexpected gravity well appears on the scope. You drop out of hyperspace and take two for flinching.
3. Hopscotch it is! Your ship skips like a stone each time you try to drop out of hyperspace, sending you flying further past your destination.
4. Rift! A tangent wormhole suddenly appears like a trap door in your current corridor, dropping you in any random place AND time in the continuum. Hope it's not Nazi dinosaurs (good luck!)
5. Hyperjacked! Pirates show up and are boarding your vessel--prepare to repel all borders!
6. Wheel of Fortune: Nav computer caught a nasty virus at that last port of call. Roll 1d12 (think hands on a clock) to determine your new course. Effect continues every turn you're in hyperspace until fixed.
7. Look Out! Some object (e.g., asteroid, derelict ship, giant thumbtack, etc.) is tumbling towards you at full speed. You've got one shot to dodge on 1d10... 1: P0WNED! You never liked those PCs anyway; 2-3: CRASH! Roll damage on percentile (if it's 100 take off 5%); oh and you're now floating unpowered in hyperspace, 4-8: BAM! Roll damage as in 2-3 and drop out of hyperspace; 9-10 DODGED! You owe the GM a root beer.
8. Hyperslide: Have all the PCs number off (like in gym class) then roll a die that's closest to that number. The loser just got sucked into a person-sized vortex somewhere/time. PC isn't playable until others fnd him. As a consolation, give the chosen player an unequipped, android "beta" version of him/herself to play until rescued, but all stats are -3 from their usual.
9. Low fuel light: There's not enough gas to get you to wherever you're going (told ya you shoulda' stopped!). Roll percentile to see how much you've lost. Recalc the navacomputer and drop out of warp when the tank reaches 0%.
10. Hyper-hiccups: You leap ahead to your destination immediately, but when you get there you're 100% out of fuel.
11. Picked up a tail: Sensors indicated an unidentified ship is following you. Attempts to hail, evade, hide are unsuccessful.
12. Dinner bell: An enormous cosmic kaiju has found you in hyperspace and plans to make you it's next meal. Fight it off while you can--it grows bigger in once it hits normalspace.
13. Hyperspace viaduct collapses: See what happens when the ruling space authority doesn't keep up on inspection? You're stranded in a collapsed part of the timespace fabric. Escape and rescue by normal means is impossible--you're going to have to Spock/Data your way out of this one.
14. Space sickness: Everytime you fire up the drive, everybody aboard gets a terrible migraine and fever. Roll vs. puking your guts out until the problem is discovered.

"I TOLD you not to flood the engine dude."

15. Sagan shrugs: It's broken and you can't go to warp. No reason really, but you're stuck in the middle of nowhere until it gets fixed. 
16. Hyperspace vamps! Psionic sub-space creatures are draining your crew's lifeforce. Roll a Will, Presence, or related save. If you try to drop out of hyperspace they'll just come along for the ride.
17. Quicksand! Or whatever the hyperspace equivalent is. Your ship begins to sink into timespace fabric, slowly being crushed. -5% hull integrity per round. -10% if you try to drop out of warp. 
18. Silly straw: As you approach your destination you're sucked into a loop-de-loop around it, unable to break free.
19. Spillway: Upon departing h-space you're unexpectedly shot out into a massive debris field, where apparently this corridor has been dumping space junk.(Roll to see what's out there).
20. Welcome to the Mirrorverse! As soon as you jumped, your ship exited hyperspace and found itself in a parallel universe where you all wear mustaches, carry cutlasses, and play with nihilistic intentions. ;)

Oh man, this thing is awesome! You'd think that a guy like me who loves random tables of junk would have heard about the JUNKULATOR from CriticalHits.com. IT'S FULL OF WIN!

It's been around a while, so I apologize for my geekgasmic gasps of joy if you're already familiar. If not--basically, it's a web script generator that will spit out random junk finds for a post-apocalyptic/Gamma World setting. You can set it for 1d4+1 pieces or just a single piece of junk. There's also options for item condition and PICTURES!!

Here's a few snapshots of stuff I "found". Click to embiggen:


Aw, man, the things you can do with an intact rototiller and a stained whirlpool!!

It's a riot, give the Junkulatator a whirl!

Well kids it's been 30 some-odd posts of random space junk cluttering up your info scanners, and to make things easy--and to commemorate how long I've been frying my brain coming up with stuff--I thought I'd do a "collected works" for you to download (see the box at right).

My dream was to have a flashier version with some artwork and a nice layout, but that will have to wait until I can get some artists on board. I didn't want to wait to get it online so consider this version 1.0, the very much no-frills edition.

I hope you enjoy, and please feel free to let me know if you ever use them.

P.S. Congrats to ze bullete for guessing correct. ;)

Floating flotsam and jetsam, tumbling slowly in the void (1d10 or combine tables and roll 1d30)

1. Portable fusion generator
2. 88 solid rocket boosters with varying traces of fuel left
3. Roll of Dermaguise™ alternate skin disguise kit for two 2 meter tall humanoids: speak the color and texture of desired skin (e.g., "blue scales") and wait 1 round for the roll to generate a brand new dermal layer you can pull off roll (like plastic wrap) and apply; skin will act as wearer's own for 2d6 rounds; helps to be nude before applying
4. Growling pet carrier, not sure if the sounds are coming from what's inside or the cage itself
5. Coaster pager, appears dormant, goes off 1 round after being discovered
6. 450 meters of Christmas lights
7. Tractor beam discus: when thrown against flat surface, emits beam to pull target in for docking/landing
8. IXEA build-your-own spaceport flatpack, hex wrenches and directions missing
9. Ninja mask!
10. Pyramid of Probability (one of two known to exist): hand-held polished stone, alters outcomes of all rolls (1d4): 1-roll: 1d6 bonus modifier; 2-roll: 1d4 penalty modifier, 3-roll: 1d12 bonus modifier, 4-roll: 1d8 penalty modifier--the twin has the exact reverse bonuses/penalties

Floating flotsam and jetsam, tumbling slowly in the void (1d10 or combine tables and roll 1d30)

1. Dozen cases of 50 ampoules (1 oz. each) for scientific sampling
2. High-gain signal scrambler, 100% effective at 10 kilometers
3. Inflatable athletic shoes, hypercolor material, one size fits all
4. 8,934,221,056, 994 sticky-backed, googly eyes linked through psionic tilaka (also a googly eye) that allows viewer to see all that they see in realtime, though everything is, well--googly
5. Nasal face mask increases scent detection +1d4
6. 220 square meters of cargo-hold netting 
7. Sonic immobilizer: 3 meter range, targets without earplugs must make paralysis save and lose hearing for 1d8 rounds
8. Pinball machine, operates without obvious power source, unbeatable, indestructible, possibly sentient
9. Hoverbike sidecar, swivel-mount in fine condition, bike coupling blasted off
10. 152,000 ton salt lick

Floating flotsam and jetsam, tumbling slowly in the void (1d10 or combine tables and roll 1d30)

1. 45 cans of photovoltaic spray paint, turns any surface into a solar battery
2. Abandoned starship shaped like a giant cycloptic skull with 10 eye stalks, possibly sentient
3. Galactapedia memory capsule kit, letters F,L, and V missing, each pill enhances memory +3 INT on any rolls on any topic encountered under that letter, side effect: consumer loses any surprise attack initiative because s/he cannot stop talking
4. 800 watt space heater, knob broken off
5. Springjack™ sabre: appears as un-bladed hilt, launches 1 meter samurai sword-like blade into fixed position when activated
6. Dozen goo grenades, creates a sphere of spider-like web to catch prey, up to 5x5 meters
7. One 16 oz. bottle of cleaning ammonia, pine scented
8. 2 Atari® 2600 joysticks, -2 DEX or AGL if used as input for any device
9.  3,333 tri-bladed windmills, individually mounted to small, evenly-spaced asteroids, and rotating in unison at the same speed
10. Joy buzzer, adjustable ring size

Floating flotsam and jetsam, tumbling slowly in the void (1d10)

1. Discarded arthropoid carapace, 250x100 meters 
2. Starfighter nosecone sensor module with scans of this sector, heavy carbon scoring
3. 500 song juke box, neon lights, retro styling, stuck on Earth, Wind, and Fire track
4. Fire extinguisher, half spent
5. Wall-mountable recharge unit for beam and ray weapons, time to full power charge: 2 rounds - pistols; 3 rounds - melee weapons; 4 rounds - rifles; 5 rounds - shoulder-mounted weaponry
6. Can of SPAM® from 2065 A.D., likely has psychedelic properties if ingested
7. Hoverbike: steering, cowling and body panels missing; engine and electrics in fair shape
8. A near-solid ring of dumpsters filled with refuse, orbiting approximately 1 AU from star
9. Bulldozer, front loader covered in thousands of tiny bite marks
10. 30 or so assorted carbon-fiber reinforced arrows

Floating flotsam and jetsam, tumbling slowly in the void (1d10)

1. Hydraulic cutter, 1 meter blade
2. 1,407 suitcases filled with neckties of varying styles, personal tastes
3. Malfunctioning hairstyling droid
4. 300 meter section, single interior starship corridor, welded shut at both ends
5. 4x4 mile wide stone slab of Zymian poetry
6. Brunswick blackhole bowling ball bag, classic pinstripe styling 
7. Two, 64 oz. canisters of Power-up Powder protein shake, increases strength +1d6 for of 1d6+1 rounds
8. Point-to-point teleportation ring for one, range 100 meters
9. Neuronal data port surgical kit
10. 9,281 scraps of poor-to-fair quality hull plating, various sizes (none bigger than 5x5 meters)

Floating flotsam and jetsam, tumbling slowly in the void (1d10)

1. Primitive space telescope from pre-warp civilization 
2. Kineto-kick boots, +1 on kick attacks, +1d4 on roundhouse 
3. Large office ficus, needs water
4. Jumpgate technical manual, slightly charred
5. TORQ-9 interrogation droid (half of one, anyway)
6. Case of six jungle machetes, razor sharp
7. Pair, knit three-toed socks
8. 300 gallons, BwaARG's Long-haired Simioid Body Wash & Conditioner (for Primates, Wookies, and Mawgs with split-ends and tangles)
9. Rientsian plumed helmet, flame decals, retractable eye laser (1d8+1 dmg)
10. 738 passenger seats from a blasted starliner, some still occupied 

1. Empty
2. 150 golf-ball sized, mini probes
3. A terraformation bomb
4. Space vampire
5. 32 cans of spoiled rations
6. Spring-loaded blades (it's a trap!)
7. Banned library books
8. Ancient alien mummy
9. Hangover gas and a nasty note
10. Portable dimensional portal
11. Fallen crew member
12. Time capsule
13. Stolen ale stock
14. Alien parasite looking for host
15. Space fungus
16. Moon rock that glows in uv light
17. Deep space scientific sensors
18. Can't identify, but makes a ping sound
19. Miss Milky Way 2420, in suspended animation
20. Explosives, dummy!

Floating flotsam and jetsam, tumbling slowly in the void (1d10)

1. Communications satellite, missing access panels
2. Beaded pilot seat cover
3. 40 kilos of plastique explosive, sculpted to look like a birthday cake
4. Programmable fireworks control unit
5. Industrial grade water filtration system
6. Up to 1d4 ship-mounted, grappler cannons with up to 300 meters of carbon-nano cabling
7. 82 bars, Ponds Olympus Mons Red Pumice Soap™ 
8. Blasted husk of the Centaurian Marching Band's Coach-class space bus
9. 19,250 liters of protein shake (strawberry flavored)
10. Blender with 6" power cord

Floating flotsam and jetsam, tumbling slowly in the void (1d10):

1. Wrist rockets: single bracer with 1d12 rockets remaining (2d4+1 damage per missile; +1 to hit)
2. Electrician's repair kit with plasma cutter, solder iron, various wire/cable cutters, insulation, and current tester
3. Bespinian "dental" chair with full-body restraints
4. "Dear John" note from runaway bride and 22,500 cr. bounty stamped on it
5. A.I. massage pillow that comforts users egos as well as their aches and pains (+1d4 HP restoration during rest)
6. Clone culture pod with one humanoid body blank awaiting DNA imprint
7. 3,263,827 cell phone batteries, none of them the one you need
8. Electrified "pet" obedience collar, 250 meters in diameter
9. Ship log tapes from passenger liner that's been reported missing
10. 4 cargo containers of boosted bustiers that were on their way to Milan-12 fashion show

Floating flotsam and jetsam, tumbling slowly in the void (1d12):

1. Case of a dozen button-sized spy cameras (wireless transmitter range up to 100 meters)
2. Four dozen canisters (4 liters each) of anti-traction gel
3. Cornershot accessory for laser rifle
4. Handheld breathalyzer unit
5. LED stun light also known as a "puke light" (stun or poison save required for target)
6. Hyperstasis tube containing one sleeping narc who was on her/his way to witness protection, is wanted by authorities and gangsters alike
7. Carton of six magnetic homing devices, 300 km range
8. Beam-deflecting vest
9. Pair of 17th Century manacles and iron mask, used
10. Three anti-personnel capture nets (each capsule fires a single net big enough to down a 2 meter humanoid)
11. Sargent Sidrone's Beatcop Rations(1d4) 1-Cup'a joe pill, one cream, one sugar; 2-jelly filled donut fast-acting gel cap, 3-Arcturian bear claw tablet, 4-Pepto pellet
12. Paper shredder

Floating flotsam and jetsam, tumbling slowly in the void (1d10):

1. 50 cases of loaded casino dice
2. 10-gallon Stetson, with writing on inside band, "Warning: the owner of this hat always comes looking for it."
3. 4,000 cases of ShamWow!™ towels
4. Wrecking ball and rig, pin up girl painted on one side
5. Utility belt
6. Intentionally misplaced trade route navigation buoy
7. Four pairs of in-line rocket skates
8. 22,010 tons of glittery paint (1d4) 1-Precious Pink! 2-Ruby Red! 3-Purple Passion! 4-Rainbow-rama!
9. A mink stole, eyes glow when worn, alien whispers heard
10. Space elevator carbon nanotube ribbon, one end severed