For It Is Man's Number

The second feature to be both written and directed by George Gallo (and I think we can agree that he has generally done better work on films that have hired him only for screenplay duties), Trapped In Paradise is an enjoyable and cute crime comedy that is constantly almost unbalanced every time Dana Carvey is onscreen.  Put anyone else in that role, or at least stop Carvey from doing a Mickey Rourke impression for most of the runtime, and you have a much better movie.

It’s all about three brothers. Nicolas Cage plays Bill Firpo, the only one of the three to stay on the straight and narrow, Jon Lovitz is Dave, a wily man who rarely tells the truth about anything, and Carvey is the kleptomaniac Alvin. All three brothers end up in the small town of Paradise, Pennsylvania, just in time to see the small-town bank stuffed with an enormous sum of money. It seems like a great time to rob the place, which is what they do. But, as has happened in many other movies before this one, the robbery proves to be a lot easier than getting away with the loot.

There’s a good movie here, one that is enjoyable enough to survive the antics of Carvey, but it’s also something that could have been much better. In fact, do we even need all three brothers? I would suggest that we don’t, and some minor tweaking of the script could have easily turned this into a low-key little gem. Some people do view it that way already, but it’s easy to see why most have forgotten it exists.

Gallo does a good job when it comes to setting up the well-populated cast of characters and various plot strands. There are family connections to establish, law enforcement looking to tighten a net, town residents being sweet and lovely, and other criminals, or wannabe criminals, who help to show just how good (deep down) our leads are. It helps that the screen is filled with so many people who are far less irritating than Carvey.

Donald Moffat and Angela Paton have main roles, and embody the good nature of the town, Florence Stanley is a tough and loving Ma Firpo, Mädchen Amick is a very believable potential romantic complication, and both John Ashton and Richard Jenkins portray two people approaching the situation from very different angles. Aside from some believable heavies, the hardened criminals who see the robbery and know someone has used information gained while alongside them in prison, that leaves our leads. Cage is a good mix of good behaviour and, well, Nicolas Cage, and Lovitz is amusing enough, if not best-served by a script that doesn’t make the best use of him. I think I have already mentioned Carvey enough. Maybe technology is available now that makes it much easier to replace him with someone less annoying. Like Carrot Top.

Enjoyable enough, and with the right amount of sweetness and hope that you want from any Christmas movie, Trapped In Paradise is one I would tentatively recommend to those who can overlook the one major problem it has. Although nothing really stands out, with regards to the visuals or score, it’s a generally solid piece of work that allows a few of the supporting players to shine whenever the focus turns to them. 

7/10

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Directed by Richard Benjamin, who also happened to act in a number of movies that I have enjoyed over the years, My Stepmother Is An Alien is one of those movies that I always wanted to check out one day. It was never a top priority though, because I assumed it wouldn't be very good. My assumption was correct. This isn't a very good film.

Dan Aykroyd plays Steven Mills, a physicist who manages to send a signal so far into space that it actually, unbeknownst to him, hits and disrupts a distant planet. Believing that this was a deliberate attack, the planet sends Celeste (Kim Basinger) to find Steven, steal his research, and eventually order the destruction of Earth. Celeste ends up becoming romantically involved with Steven, mistakenly thinking that is a good way to achieve her main objective. Steven's young daughter, Jessie (Alyson Hannigan), soon realises that there's something not right, especially when Celeste keeps talking to her bag (voiced by Ann Prentiss), and it looks like there won't be any happy ending for the main characters.

Written by Jerico Stone, Herschel Weingrod, and Timothy Harris, you'd be forgiven for expecting something decent here. Stone would later help to write Matinee, one of many superb Joe Dante movies, and Weingrod and Harris worked together on hits like Trading Places, Brewster's Millions, Twins, and Kindergarten Cop (although they also gave us the less enjoyable Pure Luck). This is not up there with their best work. Although there are a few small chuckles here and there, it is a poor comedy that makes the big mistake of trying to utilise Kim Basinger for both her looks and her comedic skills, the latter of which she simply doesn’t possess.

Benjamin directs with a strangely slapdash approach, hoping that the main premise will be enough to make viewers forget about anything else. Set-pieces are clumsily put together, occasional zingers are thrown into a laugh-sucking vacuum, and, perhaps strangest of all, nobody involved is really allowed to play to their strengths.

Basinger obviously looks beautiful here, and I do enjoy some of her acting work, but she is awful when it comes to trying to play up the comedy. Aykroyd fares better, but his character is so strangely oblivious to madness going on around him that it feels as if he is the punchline to an ongoing joke. The real joy comes from a fun turn from a young Hannigan, who has always been great, and a decent attempt  to keep delivering laughs from Jon Lovitz, playing the brother of the character played by Aykroyd. There is also some fun to had from Joseph Maher, as well as a teeny tiny Seth Green, only onscreen for a minute or so, but downright adorable.

It’s quite easy to see why this was given the green light, considering the concept and the people involved, and it is a shame to see very few people trying to do their best. From the cinematography to the Alan Silvestri score, everything around the central performances feels disappointingly lacklustre. Maybe it’s one to consider for a remake option, considering the massive room for improvement.

4/10

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With Jerry Zucker in the director's chair and a whole load of talented comedic performers in front of the camera, Rat Race certainly sets itself up as a film that wants to be in the top tier of modern comedies. The fact that it isn't, and the fact that it fails by such a large margin, is as surprising as it is disappointing.

The main premise is very simple, and very similar to another whacky comedy from decades ago, one that made use of an all-star cast. A group of people are selected to participate in a race to a locker some distance away. The first person to get there will get to keep the contents of the locker. $2M. It's that simple. Yes, this is basically a reworking of It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World.

There are moments that work in Rat Race, and some of those moments provide some hearty laughs. Jon Lovitz and Kathy Najimy bundling their two kids into a car that once belonged to Adolf Hitler pans out pretty much as you think it would, and is a real highlight, and there's a fun cameo from Kathy Bates, playing a woman obsessively trying to get people to buy one of her squirrels. A bus full of Lucille Ball fans also provides some fun. But there are so many other moments that either don't work as well as they should or just don't work entirely. The characters played by Seth Green and Vince Vieluf don't work, and neither do those played by Whoopi Goldberg and Lanei Chapman. Breckin Meyer and Amy Smart are helped by the script, although hindered by the fact that they're, well, Breckin Meyer and Amy Smart (to be fair, Meyer isn't as bad as Smart . . . but few actors are). Cuba Gooding Jr. is just fine, as is Rowan Atkinson, and John Cleese is helped along by super-white, larger, teeth to define his character.

Perhaps hampered by the script from Andy Breckman, Zucker feels like he could have been replaced by anyone in the director's chair. There's no sign of someone monitoring quality control, there's no sign of anyone taking on the responsibility to make the best of every comedy moment. All you get is a star vehicle without any big enough stars, but it's also very much a time capsule from 2001. From the cast to the plotting, despite it hewing so close to that 1963 movie mentioned above, and to the inclusion of Smash Mouth in the finale (not just a song, they get to make a cameo appearance and interact with all of the main players).

While it's not a film I'd recommend to anyone in the mood for a modern comedy, it IS a film I'd recommend to anyone looking for some easy entertainment that keeps throwing enough at the wall that one or two bits should stick. You can find a multitude of better comedies out there, but this is for people who want some recognisable faces and a general sense of familiarity (Atkinson, for example, is doing little more than a Mr. Bean act with an accent on top of his usual schtick). Passable enough. Just not often very good.

5/10

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The second full feature from writer-director Richard Kelly (a talent who illustrates someone flying high and then crashing and burning hard more than any other 21st-century success I can think of), Southland Tales is a sprawling mess of a film, once again mixing some heady ideas and timey wimey trickery with some individual moments of greatness. A couple of scenes still stand out as favourites of mine, but they're often overlooked by film fans because of being contained within such an uneven feature.

I don't even know where to begin when it comes to describing the plot. It's set in America, but an America that has endured two nuclear attacks. There's a war on, both abroad and at home, a war against terror. A company named US-IDent tries to keep all citizens under surveillance, and various people want to strike against them. The main characters we end up keeping track of are an action film start with a case of amnesia (Boxer Santaros, played by Dwayne Johnson), an ex-porn star who believes that she can predict future events (Krysta Now, played by Sarah Michelle Gellar), a scarred Iraq War veteran (Abilene, played by Justin Timberlake), and two identical characters named Roland and Ronald Taverner (played by Seann William Scott).

If you want something that seems to make complete sense, maintains a consistent tone throughout, and doesn't cast people in roles that are completely atypical for them then look elsewhere. Southland Tales is the film you stick on when you want something hugely, almost ridiculously, ambitious and self-indulgent. When you want to see Jon Lovitz as a blonde cop all too quick to reach for his gun and shoot people trying to protest against the current system, or see Kevin Smith give his best performance in a small, heavily made up, role, Southland Tales will scratch that itch.

As well as those already mentioned, who are all doing some of their best work (another reason to give this film a watch if you have yet to do so), the strong supporting cast includes wonderful performances from Nora Dunn, Wallace Shawn, John Larroquette, Bai Ling, Mandy Moore, Zelda Rubinstein, and Miranda Richardson. AND you get to see Eli Roth in a satisfying, and very brief, cameo for those who both like and dislike him.

There's also a superb soundtrack (with The Killers being the best choice for one particular sequence), a fine line in sly humour running through everything, and the general feeling that Kelly had been handed resources he never thought would be at his disposal, and decided to use everything offered to him. The third act may be even messier than everything that precedes it, as hard as that is to believe while you are watching the rest play out, but it's also hugely satisfying. Kelly probably remains very disappointed by the lukewarm, at best, reaction to this. Some will view it as a bad film. I view it as a noble, flawed, attempt to deliver an impressive piece of cinema.

8/10

I think there's a better release coming, but here's a DVD just now.
Americans can get a little bargain here. Or the blu.

Why do I do it to myself? Well, because, deep down, I love it. I love bad movies almost as much as I love good movies. It's rewarding to watch the end credits roll on a stinker and start sharpening the knives while you ponder just what to type up in review form. And Eight Crazy Nights is a stinker, a movie so misjudged that it becomes almost amusing to watch it limp from one ineffectual scene to another.

There's snow all around, gifts being given to one another and a general feeling of holiday goodwill for most people but this isn't a Christmas movie. Well, actually, it IS a Christmas movie but it's much more predominantly a Hanukkah movie (hence the eight nights of the title, crazy or not).

Adam Sandler plays a number of characters in animated form. His main character is Davey Stone, an alcoholic grump who keeps getting himself in trouble with the law as he rebels against the holiday season. After his latest misadventure he is given a chance to redeem himself if he helps an elderly basketball referee named Whitey (also voiced by Sandler). Whitey is a lovely, generous soul and tries his best to help Davey and to remind him of the cheerful kid that he used to be before something tragic happened. What was that tragedy? Is it an excuse for Davey becoming a complete ass? Will viewers care by the time it is revealed?

The usual group of Sandler alumni are on hand here to add to the unfunny material - Rob Schneider narrates, Kevin Nealon has a role as the mayor, Jon Lovitz has a very small role and there are a number of people involved who also have the surname of Sandler - and so the material is infused with the usual air of something made just for people to get together and fool around while getting paid for it. I don't dislike these individuals every time that I see them but I do dislike when they work together to create such worthless inanity.

Speaking of getting paid, there are also a disgustingly high number of product placements, especially for an animated movie. There are one or two scenes set in a shopping mall that feel like little more than an excuse to  showcase plenty of brand names. Y'know, in case one of them sees the movie and then thinks about throwing the guys a few freebies.

There are unfunny songs, unfunny insults, unfunny moments of toilet humour and some unfunny narration from Schneider. The whole thing has a moral, of course, but it's a moral that is thrown at the audience with no care at all. In fact, everything is simply wrapped up in a rushed and clumsy manner in a way that highlights the way in which nobody involved with this movie seemed to care. In the slightest. The writers - Sandler, Brad Isaacs, Brooks Arthur and Allen Covert - seem to have written out some lines on Post-It notes, screwed them all up, tossed them in a waste bin, added a load of beer and then poured out the resulting sludge and called it a script.

A version of The Hanukkah Song plays over the end credits and that's the highlight of the whole movie, seriously (just watch it here instead to save you any unnecessary pain). At this time of writing, director Seth Kearsley hasn't been at the helm of any other original feature movie. Let's hope things stay that way.

2/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Eight-Crazy-Nights-Adam-Sandler/dp/B0000DG5ML/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top