Me and My Five Boys

I've been following the news about the raid on the FLDS ranch in Texas rather closely the last couple of weeks, partly because I am LDS, partly because I am from Utah where the FLDS group originated, and mostly because last summer we moved back to Utah after living in San Angelo, Texas, 45 miles north of their ranch. I never saw the FLDS temple when we drove through Eldorado on our trips to San Antonio. I don't think it's visible from the highway. But I've joked (probably inappropriately) that it was our closest temple--the San Antonio and Lubbock LDS temples were both three hours away. My emotions have been snagged by the whole situation. Here are some of my thoughts about it (with apologies to Kathie, who has heard most of them already).

First, Texas had to act when they got the phone calls from the 16-year-old girl. Even if those calls turn out to be a hoax, they still had to act. And I think their warrants will hold up because of the evidence they have, even without the girl. I'm glad they acted. I think it was the right thing to do. But I'm not sure they are handling the whole situation very well. They learned a few lessons from Waco, but I really, really don't think they know quite how much of a mess they've gotten themselves into.

Second, the children are not the only victims here. They are the ones who most need to be protected, but I feel for the mothers too. Many if not all of them are just believing and doing and saying what they've been taught. I read something last week that suggested they should have let the women and children all stay on the ranch and filed restraining orders against the men to keep them away until the perpetrators can be prosecuted and punished. I guess that is often what is done in "normal" abuse situations. Might have saved Texas a whole lot of headaches if they had done something like that instead. I would think finding appropriate and helpful foster care for all of those kids is going to be difficult.

Third, despite the mess, I feel good about the judge who is handling the custody hearings, cases, etc. I didn't know who she was, but I read an article about her that indicated she has deep experience with family law in Texas, and she doesn't put up with lawyers or anyone else in her courtroom who don't have their ducks in a row. She's been in my prayers as much as anyone. I remember the family law class I took at BYU and how we just kind of skimmed through the different kinds of issues that could come up. I remember barely acknowledging how ugly and complicated some of those issues could become. They were probably nothing compared to this.

Fourth, I'm sad about how this is affecting the Church, especially in San Angelo. I know we've overcome worse, and we'll get past this and the stone will keep rolling forth (Daniel 2:31-45), but stuff like this being linked to the Church seems a big step backward from all the good will and progress we made during the Olympics and during President Hinckley's time as prophet and president. My good friend is the Relief Society president in our San Angelo ward. She says the press down there has handled it very poorly. Evangelical Southern Baptists already think the worst of us. This just doesn't help. I really feel for the missionaries there, and everywhere really, who have to deal with the flak from this. Jeff says maybe it'll give them more opportunities to talk to people, but I still feel for them.

Lastly, a lot of people (including my husband) are calling foul on Texas, saying they've violated the constitutional rights of the FLDS people--their freedom of religion and their rights to due process, etc., etc. My legal expertise amounts to nil, but I say, "Baloney." Even though Texas probably doesn't know what they've gotten themselves into, I believe they have and will continue to try resolve this situation within proper legal boundaries and for the purpose of protecting and doing their best by those children. I could be wrong, but if I am, I still believe justice will prevail. Above all though, the rights of the children to not be physically or sexually abused eclipses the rights of their parents to worship how they please. Abuse shouldn't be excused or hidden behind freedom of religion.

Edit: Deseret News coverage here, San Angelo Standard-Times coverage here

Labels: children, religion, Texas

Jeff's parents just finished a 12-day visit with us this week. They needed a grandkid fix and had some Delta Skymiles to use. It's always fun to have family visit, and we enjoyed having them. The day they left, Ryan was moaning and groaning, wondering what in the world we were going to do for fun after they were gone. The kids love playing games and reading stories with them, and generally just having the extra attention. They helped me out too, washing dishes and tending kids and helping me with some projects. I felt a little guilty working them so hard. We tried to make it up to them on Saturday with a little trip to Fredericksburg to see Texas wildflowers and eat German food. Although I was disappointed that we didn't see more bluebonnets--missed their peak by week or two--we've had a wet spring so the wildflowers were everywhere and really beautiful. (I also got two or three new counties on this trip. :-)

I had a very nice Mother's Day, and it was extra fun to celebrate it with Grandma too. Jeff and his dad cooked yummy Japanese/Chinese food for us--almond chicken, sweet and sour pork, and gingered green bean salad, with pecan pie and vanilla ice cream for dessert. I love having a husband who enjoys cooking!

Jeff and the boys really outdid themselves with the gifts this year--I usually don't get or want near this much for Mother's Day. They surprised me with a beautiful new oak chest of drawers to replace the hand-me-down we've been using for 14+ years now. It's unfinished--raw wood--but Jeff is also looking forward to finishing it, which is good since all I need right now is another project. We're thinking we'll stain it medium brown to try to match our headboard and then seal it with tung oil. That's what's been recommended to us anyway, although my friend sealed hers with polyurethane and it looks great. I also got a couple Ritter Sport candy bars--real German chocolate (available at Target, FYI). I needed shirts and I got a couple of those too--a pale green button-up and a "Lady Longhorns" t-shirt. I guess I couldn't really leave Texas without some burnt orange in my wardrobe. It is "my color" after all, even if I bleed BYU blue. The most fun present of all though, was a pink cowboy hat. I don't really do pink...or cowboy...but now I have a souvenir that says "Texas" all over it. The funny thing is, whenever Jared finds it he brings it to me and says, "Put the pink cowboy hat on your head Mommy." I've worn it quite a bit this last week. :-)

I'll bet you thought I'd forgotten about baseball. I'll bet you missed my play-by-play posts too, didn't you? Well, I didn't forget, but there hasn't been much to post about. We've had several games cancelled by bad weather--lots of thunderstorms and rain lately. When it finally cleared up last week, Ryan and Adam both had games on Friday. Ryan's game was typical teeball-- everybody hits, everybody scores--except that this time Grandma and Grandpa got to see him play, which was a treat. I think Adam was a little nervous to have the extra audience--he wanted to do so well while they were there to cheer for him and got upset when he struck out a couple of times. I think he did get at least one hit, but I didn't keep track very well since the other team forfeited due to a shortage of players. We lent them some of our players and just played a practice game. They "won" thanks to our players who hit well, so technically we "beat ourselves." Adam and Ryan both played again last night. Ryan's game was cut short due to rain, but he still got two good hits. Adam batted 2-for-4 with two singles and an RBI (15-for-19, .789, 12 singles, 3 doubles on the year). His team won 10 to 7 for a 7-2 record so far.

I've had occasion recently to think about how many Little League games and Cub Scout pack meetings we're going to end up going to over the next several years with our four boys. Tonight I've discovered another benefit of having all boys--Fathers and Sons outings! Dallin is still a little young to go camping without Mommy right now, so he and I are having a nice evening here at home. I really, really love my boys, but ah, the peace and quiet!

Labels: Adam, baseball, family, flowers, food, holidays, Mother's Day, Ryan, sports, Texas

We just experienced our first real Texas hail storm. I think we rescued our cars, but I'm not so sure about our roof. Check out the size!

Labels: Texas, weather

Okay, here's a long story about our short weekend last week.

During the summers of 2003 and 2004, Adam took swimming lessons at the Oakley Pool in Cincinnati with two friends, Peter and Ross Lohrisch, who lived in our neighborhood. At the pool we met and became good friends with two other families, the Sellas and the Russells. When we moved away from Cincinnati, one of the things we really missed (in addition to Graeter's ice cream) was hanging out at the Oakley Pool with these friends. Last summer, the Lohrisch's also moved to Texas and bought a home in Plano. Maryann called me a couple months ago to let me know that John Russell was coming to Dallas in April to guest conduct the Dallas Symphony Orchestra. John, better known to us as "Jack and Alma's dad," was the associate conductor of the Cincinnati Symphony Orchestra while we lived in Cincinnati. So we made plans to travel to Dallas last weekend to visit my brother, Adam, and his family, to play with the Lohrisch's, and to see John conduct the Dallas Symphony Orchestra concert with the Von Trapp Children, great-grandkids of the real Maria and Captain Von Trapp of "Sound of Music" fame.

Last Friday we planned to leave for Dallas as soon as Jeff and the boys got home from school so we could get to the cousins' house around bedtime. I ran around all day like a chicken with it's head cut off, trying to get all my errands done and get packed and ready to go. I almost made it, but best-laid plans failed again. We got a late start and didn't get to Dallas until about 10 p.m.

Saturday we drove up to Plano and spent several pleasant hours visiting, eating lunch, and swimming with John and the Lohrisch's. Three-year-old Jared provided the first excitement of the day by falling into the pool. Jeff had brought his swimming trunks but hadn't yet changed into them, so when he went in after Jared he soaked his wallet and clothes. Jared was fine, but scared. I'm afraid it's going to be a challenge to get him anywhere near a swimming pool anytime soon.

The second incident of the day occurred as we left Lohrisch's to go back to Dallas. The back tire on the driver's side of our van was completely flat. It took five men and at least a half an hour to figure out how to release the donut from underneath the van and get it mounted. Not wanting to drive too far on the donut, or to have to deal with fixing the tire on Sunday before we drove home, we pulled into a tire store five minutes before they closed Saturday evening. Fifteen minutes and eight dollars later we were on our way again. We made it back to Adam's and Paula's house with about an hour-and-a-half to eat and change before leaving for the concert.

The plan was to take Adam and Ryan with us and leave the little boys with a babysitter that Paula had arranged. I thought I had prepped Adam and Ryan well for the concert by buying the DVD of the Sound of Music, which they enjoyed in the van on the way to Dallas on Friday. However, they were tired from the late night Friday night, playing hard in the pool, and getting pretty bad sunburns--I forgot to apply sunscreen. The third incident of the day was one of those ugly parent-child power struggles when they both threw a fit about wanting to stay home and play video games with the cousins instead of going to the concert. I had actually considered letting them stay home with the babysitter until they started throwing tantrums--especially over video games! Then we were in a situation where we couldn't give in. So we got them dressed and into the van against their will, and we were off into what is known as the Mixmaster--downtown Dallas freeways. We only got turned around once off the last exit and made it to the Meyerson Symphony Center on time. The Meyerson was beautiful--can you see the Starship Enterprise in the lights on the ceiling?! The Von Trapp Children had amazing voices for teenagers, and John was fantastic--fun and energetic as usual. Adam and Ryan settled down and enjoyed the concert, as I thought they would. It was great experience and we really appreciated the tickets John comped us.

After another late night, we enjoyed a relaxing Sunday morning with Adam and his family. It's been so nice to live relatively close to them and get to spend time with each other fairly often. Our boys love playing with their cousins. Family is the best! We went to sacrament meeting with them in the afternoon, then headed home, again hoping to make it by bedtime. Our final excitement of the weekend happened when we stopped for gas in Sweetwater, TX, about 75 miles from home. We noticed that the tire we had gone to so much trouble to repair on Saturday was flat again. Grrrr. And it was pouring down rain. Jeff had no desire to put the donut on in his Sunday clothes in the rain. And he didn't feel good about driving home on the donut in the rain and in the dark either. Fortunately we were in a town big enough to have a truck stop with a service area that was open on Sunday evening. Unfortunately they didn't have the right size tire for our van. Fortunately they were able to refer us to an auto parts store that, amazingly, was open until 8 p.m. on Sunday evening and did have the right size tire. I still can't believe that. Unfortunately, the auto parts store wouldn't mount the tire for us. Fortunately, the truck stop service area did mount the tire for us. We saw some awesome lightning on the last leg of the trip, making it home 7 1/2 hours after we left Dallas, again about 10 p.m. (It's normally a 4 1/2 to 5 hour drive.) I let the boys sleep in Monday morning and took them to school late. When the secretary asked why they were tardy, all I could say was "hard weekend." Hard, but fun. And we got six new counties. :-)

Labels: counties, family, friends, music, Texas, travel

We had a cold front blow into Texas yesterday. At Ryan's teeball game last night it was about 50 degrees, but the wind made it feel much colder (although not quite cold enough to send the players to the coach's motor home between at-bats). They actually called the game after two innings and let us all go home to get warm. On the way to the car 3-year-old Jared said, "Mommy, I'm frozen." Anyway, Ryan got to play in the pitcher's position the first inning and was so excited when he threw two runners out at first. Wish I could have caught the grin on his face and shared it with you.

Today was even colder. I'm not sure it got above freezing. We had freezing rain and then snow too, which actually accumulated maybe an inch on the ground. In this part of Texas that is fairly rare, especially in April. So far they haven't canceled church tomorrow, but if the roads are icy enough, they might. We did Easter baskets and an (indoor) Easter egg hunt today so we can hopefully focus on Christ and His resurrection tomorrow. That might be a bit trickier to do with the kids if there is no church. We'll see. It'll be a cold Texas Easter, but fortunately the weather is supposed to be back up in the 70's in time for the next round of ball games next week.

Labels: baseball, Easter, holidays, Ryan, sports, Texas, weather