izzatics: Commentary

Showing posts with label Commentary. Show all posts

Thursday, October 23, 2008

IzzMedia Launched!

Finally, it's out there. After 2 years of getting the domain and not doing anything with it, izzmedia.net is now online.

It took so long because...well, I found out that I was a hard client to please. I kept rejecting my own designs. But seeing my buddy Benjamin swiftly launch his website lights a fire under me, and I finally roll my sleeves and party like a monkey!....umm, I mean get my website done. Not much content at the moment, it's an ongoing process. I stick with my original choice for the CMS (sNews) despite toying with other CMSs like CMSMadeSimple, Wordpress, etc. So far, it's good.

I had intended IzzMedia to be my online design portfolio, but along the way I decided to include other personal contents as well. So now it's like a mish-mash of foods - imagine a plate full of sushi and donuts, sprinkled with mustard and honey on top. With coleslaw on the side. Aggh, that doesn't sound good...

What will become of Izzatics? For the time being, it'll remain alive. I might still post stuff here every now and then. But IzzMedia will be my priority site. It's been great.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Approaching...the end?

Since over a week ago, I risked my well-being to 'reset' myself. Ideally, to 1997 levels. No easy task, but doing just fine so far. Slowly and surely. The weather is surprisingly on my side, too - it only rained in the evenings, which gave me ample time early in the morning.

With this reset, I probably had to welcome back some stuff that I had left behind. My old nature, my fear, my ability...my old friend. Early next month I'll reflect to see whether I'm any closer to my goal or not.

Setting up some stuff on my domain (izzmedia) so I am currently toying with the idea of fully utilizing IzzMedia as my online presence, which in turn will have me leaving Blogger. Unlike some, I rarely experienced problems with Blogger, it's been a real blast to blog here. Or maybe I'll just turn my domain as my web/graphic design work repository, and maintaining this blog for my personal stuff still. Still deciding...most likely I'll have the answer by next week.

The end? Maybe...maybe not. We'll see.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

Post-Raya Withdrawal

First entry since after Hari Raya, and that means I could eat lunch again...and consequently gained back all the weight I've lost during the fasting month. I know, I know. My willpower was next to nothing. To make things worse, I recently found a new love: Big Apple's Donuts. Mmm-mmm, so good.

Raya has been...largely uneventful. Tiring at times (since I'm the unofficial family driver) and just plain nuts. On Sunday (5th Oct) the traffic was pretty bad everywhere due to people getting back from their kampungs and back to work. My younger bro was supposed to take the express bus back to his college in Kuantan that night at 10.45pm. The bus managed to finally arrive after midnight...but then I heard a collective groan (and one guy actually yelled) when the bus is apparently broken down. Some other people had been waiting for their 8pm bus, which arrived later at around...1am. I have never seen a group of people with fiery homicidal urges in their eyes. It's a war zone out there. My bro's group eventually got a replacement bus the following day at 5.30pm...which also, you guessed it, arrived LATE. ONE FUCKING HOUR LATER.

Fuck Transnasional. I really mean it. You fuckers screwed up when other no-name bus companies still able to provide buses. One time, my mother and sis was left behind by a Transnasional express bus when they were in the toilet. So you guys pissed off when a passenger is taking their time? How is it that you could let people wait endlessly for a bus that is eventually broken...and not even making an announcement about it???!!!! SO FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU and FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES! Oh, was my language too harsh for you?....boo hoo hoo, assholes deserved no respect. Get a fucking grip and improve your act, and don't ever toy with customers when things go awry!

Wow...that's too much anger in one post. I am spent now, and goddammit I gotta find the energy to continue work.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Question | Mentality

Today is one week before Hari Raya. I'm not exactly jumping for joy here, it's just another holiday to me. I don't see the big deal about it. Thanks to current business/marketing practice of 'water-everything-down' and mass media's insistence on harping about it WAYYY before the actual day - these factors helped to kill my festive mood dead. Dead like a snail ran over by the damn bulldozer.

For the past few weeks, I haven't exactly been productive. Not that there's nothing to do...just lacked the drive to do it. My workrate is like The 6 Million Dollar Man in slow motion. Sometimes it's indifference, sometimes it's pure hate. My career path was based on what I loved doing growing up, so basically what went wrong? If I am now hating doing what I loved, then what happens now?

As a student, I was never the brightest - in fact, I am quite the slow learner. Just ask my driving instructor. Apparently I absorb and process info slower than others; but once it's in my mind, it stays there. Example: me and a friend tried to recall a song that was popular almost 20 years ago. With only a single line of the lyrics...I wracked my brain to re-construct the whole song in my mind - which I managed to do few hours later. This was 1997, where MP3s weren't abundant...plus, the song is like a one-hit wonder so locating the actual album is near impossible at the time. Yes, I got the MP3 now, and it's not all that great. It's like trying to watch Space Cop Gavan now "...I liked to watch THIS crap? Why is that big blue dragon appearing for no reason? That's not 0.05 seconds!"

Ok, back to 2008. What's the point of revisiting all that? I 'get' things slower and later than other people. I am the opposite of a prodigy. Like Bizarro to Superman.

So how to get back that 'fire'? How to recapture that spark, that energy which keeps me going and made me do things beyond my personal comfort and threshold? Some experts suggest to remember back the time when you had those feelings and revisit those 'good old days'. To be that person and absorb that moment. Kind of like method acting, but without the weight loss.

I could picture those moments. I witnessed all the events in my past that gave me great joy, and made me feel like I could face anything and anyone in this world. I'd seen it all, but only from a distance. Somehow, I could never step back into the me of yesteryear...for we are too different now. I am just an audience to my past glory, unable to relive it.

The truth is a little part of me knew what it takes to feel that way again. The missing piece of the puzzle that is vital to make it work. I just refuse to acknowledge it nowadays. Whichever era of my life I glimpsed upon, there's always a soul anchor - an apple of my eye. That one presence. Currently, no one is filling that role - it's an unbearable void. The void is growing into a black hole that threatens to suck me in, like a goddamn Protoss Mothership...Or whatever that Protoss superweapon is called. Sorry, Starcraft fans.

Through it all, there is a faint glimmer of hope. I've had my back to the wall before, it's just another day in my life. I'll find whatever I'm looking for eventually.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Popsicles are for the summertime

It's almost halfway thru the fasting month, and even more time passed since my last post. True to my past promise, I hadn't watch any movie in the cinema since The Dark Knight. With crap like Zohan and Love Guru currently playing, I am in no hurry to rekindle my cinematic venture. I did, however, purchase a mother load of DVDs, mostly comedies.

And speaking of comedy, I got more albums from two more sources: Todd Barry and Mitch Hedberg. Todd Barry's Medium Energy was alright, although his delivery was extremely laid back - I actually fall asleep listening to it. Then again, it was around 2 to 3 pm, my 'sleepy and brain-dead' hours at the office. I enjoyed the album and laughed at the jokes, but not playing it as much as other albums due to my unwarranted bias against Barry's delivery style. It's just me.

Now, Mitch Hedberg. I downloaded two albums of his, Strategic Grill Locations and Mitch All Together...and I freaking loved all of the stuff. He is...unique in delivery and style, mining out laughs from places or things that is both unexpected and surreal. Sadly, he passed away in 2005 due to drug use. A loss of a great talent. One more album was released posthumously, which I am hoping to acquire sooner than later.

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On the personal side: currently in a state of total bore - not that there's nothing to do, just...not feeling it. I had practically wasted a precious financial opportunity recently by giving up a freelance job that had been on and off for quite some time. The blame was and is squarely mine. These days, I just don't give a damn. About anything and everything. Life, love, work...none of it seemingly matters anymore.

Some little part of me still looking for a cure to this problem. I know that I need that spark again. Desperately reaching for it, I embarked to the north - I had hoped that it'll direct me to it, but alas, the search will continue still. For better or worse, I am an instinctive man - this trait had saved me in some instance while doomed me in others. They asked, what kind of things/person you are looking for? I had no answer to that, for I have no template for my ideal person - only my gut instincts to fall back on.

They say good things come to those who wait. While part of me agrees, the other rebels against this kind of thinking. I am running out of ideas and out of time. I am hoping that I could start working towards a positive outcome. It's all in my hands now - I need to do this with my own power. If I could be bothered, that is.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Brief Exile.

After watching The Dark Knight, I decided to take a short break from my cinematic viewings. Been at it heavily for the past few months...it's affecting my budget too.

At work, things had been too crazy for me recently. I jokingly told a colleague I'd jump from the office veranda if the jobs keep piling up. Little did he knew, I was half-serious at the time. So before things get worse, I should take action. Asking for extra personnel to share the workload seems...I don't know how to put this...Malaysia would win World Cup first before I'd get another designer. The way things are now, the chances for it are getting slimmer each passing year.

So I decided to take a break. 1st to 4th of August...road trip to Penang with my buddy, Bob. We had been planning this for a long while...and the time is finally here. If time permitting, I'd love to stop by the Tiger Valley in Tambun, Perak - part of Sunway's Lost World of Tambun.

In the mean time, I'll be on hand to complete whatever stuff I can by Thursday. It will be a huge-ass tornado before the calm.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Dark Knight

After the long wait, it's here. I watched The Dark Knight on Saturday with my buddy Bob. As usual, after the movie he'd ask, "so how was it?" This time, I struggled to find words to describe my opinion.

I am simply overwhelmed. All expectations were exceeded. The plot, the themes, the characters...everything is right. This is no longer a mere 'comic book superhero movie' akin to Incredible Hulk & Iron Man (I loved those 2, by the way) but it has transcended the genre. It's epic in every sense of the word - more like the feeling of watching Michael Mann's Heat or Coppola's Godfather. It's THAT good.

I don't believe in perfection, for I felt there is no such thing. But this movie came quite close. Without hesitation, a highly recommended must-see movie. Three years I waited, and it was worth every second.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

A trigger-happy memory

Choices. To step back or forward. To venture into the unknown or to stay put. Mee goreng or nasi lemak. Like a sprite-rendered character in a point-and-click adventure game (I'm showing my age here) we have to make a choice, lest we get stuck on the current level. In life, however mundane or trivial the things we decided on - it will impact our lives one way or another.

The 'point-and-click adventure game' aspect above refers to my fond memory of playing an old game (or 'retro' if you prefer...I hate that term) called Police Quest III: The Kindred. It was back in 1991 or 92 - my first original PC game. One particular scene haunts me to this day:

A madman was running wild...in some kind of park, I think. Armed with a knife, he terrorized members of the public and injure some of them...I stepped in, trying to calm the blood-thirsty nut down. Maybe perform a love song or two.

"Chill out, crazy dude. Put the sharp pointy thing down, and let's watch Bob the Builder together..."

"FUCK YOU, COPPER!" screamed the madman as he assaulted me, blinded by rage. Maybe he preferred Barney the Purple Dinosaur.

In that instant, inspired by the action movies I watched at the time, I whipped out my gun and SHOT THE BASTARD DEAD. And before I could dance a victory jig over my slain enemy, I was greeted by the 'bad end' scene...Jim Walls, the creator of the game (a former policeman himself) lectured me on my inability to be a proper policeman and the game ended at that point. All this because I left my goddamn baton in my locker.

So, yeah...in the end, I made a lousy choice. The choice at that moment may not be the best/right one - or not resulting in a desirable outcome. But hey, I applaud those of you who had the courage to just go ahead and try something...rather than do nothing. To be honest, I don't always possess this courage.

So to those who chose your path and fought bravely, I salute you. Even if you fell this time around...it'll work out. Somehow. I think.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Can't Smile Without You

I've been rather sick for the past couple of days, and even in my half-conscious and incoherent state I'd like to post some stuff...what follows are my thoughts on Hellboy 2: The Golden Army.

On Sunday (13th July), got together with my 'clique' members near TOA, our old stomping grounds. From there, we drove to One Utama, and catch an early 11am showtime for the aforementioned movie about that red guy with cutoff horns.

The movie was a blast. The plot is a little on the thin side...still, a fun ride. Interesting and weird characters inhabit the movie's universe - there's even a hidden market where all these creatures hang out. I found great amusement seeing two of the main characters drunkenly singing Barry Manilow's "Can't smile Without You"...surreal, funny and corny at the same time. Despite not really being human, they had a hard time dealing with relationships too, haha.

Prince Nuada - the main villain came off symphatetic at times, despite doing everything he could to end mankind. Deep down, he's just plain tired of humans fucking up the planet...he believed that his actions were justified, no matter how extreme his methods seems to be. At one point, Prince Nuada instilled doubt in Hellboy...about being the protector of these humans that didn't even liked him in the first place. In the end, the good guys saved the day and disaster is averted once more. Typical, but it works for me.

Afterwards, had lunch at Chilli's - this would be my first - and had the Oldtimer's Burger. Oh yeah, I'd definitely eat there again. Hunting for books/mags at MPH and Popular Bookstore (which have pathetic book selections) followed by caffeine consumption at Starbucks capped off a Sunday well spent.

Next on the list, the much awaited Dark Knight. Till then, adieu.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Hancock and...Carlin?

..in what way the two names above related? None, whatsoever. Just some stuff that I got into recently: watched the Will Smith movie 'Hancock' and also been downloading George Carlin's comedy albums.

First off, Hancock. In short, it's good, very good...but not quite great. In the vicinity of greatness, flirting close to it...but kind of retreated into the comfort zone. Good performances by the leads (Smith, Theron and Bateman) carried through out the movie nicely. This movie answers the question, "what if Superman was a prick?" and you get Hancock - the down and out, seemingly uncaring, perpetually trouble-making drunk 'Superhero'. Don't call him 'asshole' though, lest you enjoyed being flung into the stratosphere. Entertaining flick, but I'm looking forward more to Hellboy II and Dark Knight. Saw the latest trailer for Quantum of Solace as well...Daniel Craig's Bond = Badass.

George Carlin was one of the best standup comedians in the United States, who passed away recently (on 22nd June 2008). I heard of his name and reputation, and also that he influenced many comedians (including my favs Lewis Black & Jerry Seinfeld) but prior to his passing, I've never check out his stuff...apart from his cameo in the movie 'Dogma'. So, in the past few weeks I've gotten some of his albums (downloaded six full albums to date) and I started with his most well known track, "Seven Words You Can't Say on Television". His jokes could be a bit crass at times, and he sometimes 'test' the audience by increasing the inappropriateness of his subject matter. As he grew older, his material gets darker & bleaker...yet still highly regarded for one who stayed active for 50 years performing standup. Thanks, Mr Carlin.

Possibly watching Hellboy 2 in this weekend..maybe get together with my 'clique' too. See you soon.

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Missed...by that much

I watched Get Smart last night and it was...underwhelming. It is not bad at all...just how I felt on the whole experience. The overall feeling resulted from the combo of my high expectations and dead audience members. Most of the jokes seemed to flew over people's head...I'm not undermining anybody's intelligence here, but boy oh boy were they unresponsive or what...

I always believed that comedies best enjoyed either in a big group (where everyone laughs) or just in your own privacy. Sigh. Last night was neither. Also, the antagonist is rather...lame. Not lamest(that 'honor' goes to the main baddie of Die Hard 4.0...Tim Olyphant, you suck.) but come on, Zod, you could do better than that.

I'm a Steve Carell fan...I'd watch anything with him in it (well, maybe except Evan Almighty) and he did a great job here. Everyone else is fine. Dalip Singh/Great Khali's role is bigger than I had expected. I would be more than willing to give this movie another chance...with a more receptive audience, I hope....or just wait for the dvd. Next, I'll be watching Hancock in the weekend...Hellboy 2, Wanted, Dark Knight would be on watch list for July as well. Maybe will watch Wall-E too. Agh, gonna be broke, dammit.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Low on Fuel

I've been meaning to post a proper review for The Incredible Hulk, but got side tracked by other stuff at the moment. Heck, I didn't even follow the ongoing Euro Football Tournament this year...aside from checking results online.

Before, plain laziness was the culprit for the lack of blog posts. Now I just lacked the energy...for anything and everything. I'd feel tired and go to sleep instead. The mind is willing, but the physical self just broke down. Any of my interests, be it animes, WWE, MMA, books/comics, DVDs, Xbox 360 games...none of them can keep me awake for a decent length of time. I downloaded a 'Best of' compilation of Chris Rock's stand up routine (titled 'Cheese & Crackers: The Best Bits') and while I actually enjoyed it, I still managed to feel asleep 2/3 of the way through. I loved the clips I saw (from his HBO Special Never Scared) on Youtube, so I figured I want more of his stuff.

Low on fuel...what do I need to overcome this? Tongkat Ali? Viagra? Lazarus Pit? A plain mug of hot cocoa? And perhaps one other way to revitalize myself, which I cannot disclose here, for the corniness factor would explode your brain, dear reader.

I'll be back, hopefully re-energized and with new posts to publish. Till then, auf wiedersehen, my beloved dumplings.

Thursday, June 05, 2008

And here we...go.

04 May 2008, 8.15pm: I peered thru the blinds from my office, and I watched as my beloved country went absolutely nuts. And I can't really blame any of them. The domino effect has begun, and it'll go downhill from here on out.

Recent movie watched: Speed Racer. I loved the crazy kinetic visuals, despite having quite a formulaic storyline. Well, it's an adaptation of an old cartoon series, really what else would you expect? Still, I had a very enjoyable time watching this movie. And when Pops Racer (John Goodman) puts the ankle lock on a baddie, I completely lost it. Thumbs up.

Speed Racer suffered at the box office probably due to the fact that it opened when Iron Man was still playing in the cinemas. The latter, ended up being a great superhero movie and a huge success to boot. 'Avengers Initiative' - markout city. I didn't watch Indiana Jones 4, I wasn't really a fan of the series...but hey, that's just me. In spite of that, when the Indy soundtrack started in the trailer, I still get goosebumps.

Somebody should just halt the train that is heading down the Nostalgia Railway. It's beyond control. What's next, Beverly Hills Cop 4? Oh, wait...shit. Terminator 4? Crap, they're making that too. Hollywood, get some fresh ideas already! Maybe we'll finally get that ultimate movie team up...no, not Jet Li & Jackie Chan...not even De Niro & Pacino...nope, it's gonna be Stallone & Schwarzenegger in: Rambo vs Commando...'cause, why the fuck not?

I am looking forward to catch Dreamworks' Kung Fu Panda this weekend. Earlier in the week I bought the Bee Movie DVD (also by Dreamworks), being the Seinfeld fan that I am. I was not hugely impressed by Bee Movie, but it's still a fun watch.

For the next 2 months, I'm gonna be broke watching movies - with Hellboy 2, Get Smart, The Incredible Hulk and of course, The Dark Knight on the horizon...I just can't resist wasting my cash.

I shall return on the next post with my thoughts on Kung Fu Panda. Adieu, my gentle snowflakes.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Washed up?

Sometimes when recalling past memories, we tend to wonder aloud, "whatever the hell happened to me?"

It's alarming that our past selves made us feel irrelevant. Becoming what we always feared we would become: be unable to reach the greatness, and instead buried in the ground as an after thought.

At various parts of this year, I tried to reach deep down myself...for the guy that I used to be. The aches I feel now somehow reminds me that while I may not be able to reach my original goal...I could strive to become more.

But first, I'll use the upcoming off days to put that theory to the test. Speed and force won't be the priority...I'll just need to focus on the methods, then the other factors will flow in naturally. Of course, plain laziness could be my biggest enemy yet. I'm glad that en route to this Trial, my body held up very well. I took the 'slow buildup' path here...not unlike how a woodpecker slowly chips away a tree. There is indeed progress, how microscopic it may be.

I have been regressing and falling hard in the past. I'd like to be able to move past that, and break through the twilight.

izzatics