This year I decided for my 100 I would head back to Heartland.  Why?  For a couple of reasons: 1. Tracey lives close and she is an amazing crew chief so that means no worries for me while running 2. It was the only place that I have truly enjoyed a 100 miler (they have all hurt but this one I felt free and like I was flying for the majority of it)  3. I don't feel like I did my best last time, I know I can do better.

 Training for 100's is hard for me.  I am always trying to squeeze in runs here and there and sometimes I am not sure if my training is on track because my runs are all over the place.  One year I might be able to string together 30 miles day after day and, the next year it just doesn't work out that way.  That being said I was able to hit over 100 miles a week for a couple of weeks at the end of this training so, I think I am in a good spot but who knows. Really...who knows??? It is so hard to train for 100.  I feel like I am shooting in  the dark and hoping for the best. But I LOVE it!! Love the battle of 100 miles, the challenge, there is literally nothing like it. 

  I keep wondering if the difference between me and a better runner is all mental.  If I just ran harder and chose to go into my pain cave and hunker down if I could do even better.  Is that what the guys that are breaking 20hrs doing?  Are they enduring the pain for longer or are they better runners or did they train better?  Maybe it is a little of all three.  There is only one of those I can work on at this point in the game and it is the pain so here is the plan...Last time I ran a 21:39 which is a 13mm pace, in April I ran a 9:30mm pace at my 50miler, I want to break 20 hrs so that involves running faster than a 12mm pace.  So...I go out at a 10mm and hold on for as long as possible, I try and make crew stops as quick as possible.  I run hard for as long as possible and most of all when I hit that wall at mile 80-95 I DO NOT, DO NOT let myself walk for more than a few minutes at a stretch, I force my legs to keep running.  I CAN DO BETTER!!! I know I can.  It is time to put on my big girl pants and see what I am made of.  Fingers crossed this goes well.

Happy Running

I know I have neglected the blog for awhile now.  I am sorry.  Summer was super busy  and something had to give and, well ...running wins out over blogging any day, lol.  So, what did I do with my summer you ask?  I know you are dying to ask because the Title of this Post has one of the most coveted words in all of ultra land in it...duh duh duh...Badwater.  Yep, I scored a spot to crew/pace someone at Badwater.  Wahoooooooooooooooooo!!!!!! Now that is an opportunity no one could pass up especially an ultra runner whos dream race is Badwater.  Are you wondering who I crewed for?  I have like, two ultra friends and both swear never to do anything as stupid as Badwater, in fact both have said they won't even pace when I get in some day, lol.  So then who would ask me to do such a thing?  It all goes back to a fate full race called Lone Ranger, my first 24hr run, the one where I hosed my metatarsal for life, well apparently it was my luckiest race because I met a lady, Ethel, we ran together for a lap (8miles) and of all things discussed our desire to one day get into Badwater.  When Ethel got in I was psyched for her but didn't think anything more of it.  Well in May I got an email from Ethel asking if I was interested in being on her Crew.  WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!  I felt like I had won the lottery.  Duh!!! Of course I was interested.  I was even willing to drop VT100 so I could do Badwater.  And so began the journey.

Heading into Death Valley (From L to R: Lisa, me, Tammy, Jan, Ethel, Kerry, Rosie).

This Crossfit experiment is so insanely hard. It isn't the workouts, although they are ridiculously tough most days it is having the patience to not put in the miles. It is trusting that the Crossfit workouts will do their thing and make me a better runner even though; I am not necessarily running during them. I try to go balls to the wall in every workout, to make sure I am getting the most out of every second I am at the box (gym in CF speak). But the patience... the patience... ahhhhhhhhhh!!!

On Tuesdays I do my long run. I have been trying to get in a 20 miler each week and then the rest of the week I don't worry so much about mileage I just get in some short ones. But, the last few weeks those 20 milers have been hard, I am dragging by mile 15 and well that is sort of scary for me. 15 miles should be an easy run for me and lately it has been a chore. Today I wanted to show my legs who was boss (what was I thinking?) and I did a 27 mile run. OMG! It was hard; it wasn't a little hard it was A LOT hard. I did manage to crank out the last few miles at around an 8mm pace but the struggle to get to mile 27 was ridiculous. I am left wondering...

Is it the Crossfit? Is the less running ruining my endurance? Are my muscles so tired that I shouldn't expect them to put in a long run? I just don't know. I don't have the answer. My gut tells me that I am strong; I am stronger than I have been in over 15yrs but am I a better runner? Should that matter?

All I know for sure right now is that, I am exhausted, smashed, destroyed, etc... from my run today and my arms hurt so badly it is stupid (from Saturday and Monday's CF workout) so, ummmm... I guess that means I am doing something right, :).

Happy Thanksgiving All!

This week I decided next year I would do 3 ultras: Mississippi 50 in March, VT100 in July and Heartland100 in October.  I plan to use Mississippi as a gauge as to how well Crossfit is working for me. 

I am now going to Crossfit 3 times a week.  Which is about 3hrs of cross training which, I am translating to 18 miles of running.  So, if I would usually run 80 miles on said week now I will run 62 miles along with Crossfit.  I am super excited to see how this works out for me.  There are some things I am already noticing.  Last week on Tuesday I was out running a 20 miler, my endurance is definitely starting to fade in the off season and it should a little.  This is supposed to be a down time but, I was a little scared when at mile 12 I was feeling tired.  At around mile 17 I realized something was up with my route and I was going to get back to the car at 19 miles and I could either run in circles to get another mile or just drop the hammer and make the last two miles count.  I decided to go all out and I mean all out.  I stood up straight, concentrated on having my legs rotate under me, I pulled in my core, and hot damn my old sticks took off.  When I peaked at Garmin she said I was running a 7:05, then I hit a hill and I dropped to a 7:15, what the heck...7:15 going up hill, me, Tara Tosta... whose legs were these?  Then I hit the down hill dropping below the 7mm mark.  Holy Crap! I was flying and I felt awesome.  Ummmmm....I guess Cross Fit is working for me.  Those boys may have hosed my shoulder for a few weeks but in return they are giving me speed. Wahoooooo!!!!

I am going to have to make sure I keep my long runs up in order to preserve my endurance but,  I am loving the feeling of being stronger over all.  There are days I walk into the gym and think...WTF! But then, I actually do said work out and am so dang proud.  One day this week I walked in to see ropes hanging from the ceiling and I thought, oh no, because you know the boys didn't hang them there for decoration, you know before they even say it that they are going to want you to climb to the top of those suckers but you know what...I did it.  I climbed the rope, like a little kid, I climbed that rope not like Phil my monkey friend who took to rope climbing like a gazelle takes to running but, I did it!  I used the first method described here but you should know if you do that method with running shorts on you are going to get a rope burn on your ankle, ughhhhhh.

Yesterday I posted I am toying with a new training idea.  The plan isn't solid yet but, it is close enough and already in action.  I am doing an experiment that hopefully won't hose up the next ultra season.  I love running there is no doubt about that.  I love long races, I love love love a race that cuts you to your core and makes you question everything and then that awesome feeling of climbing out of that pain cave and finishing the race.  100 miles hurts, there is no way around that.  But, maybe I can train different, eehhhhhhh, goes against my whole "you have to run to be a better runner" saying but, maybe just maybe I could use some cross training :).  Ok for sure I could use some cross training, my core is ridiculously week, my arms are useless sticks and that leaves me with over sized legs and glutes.  So, I could definately use some cross training but, how far do I take this cross training?  That is the question right?

Da da da...and here comes my adventures in Crossfit Training.  I have only been at it for a little over a month but dang I am already feeling stronger.  I can already more easily bound up hills.  The classes are downright humiliating some days, humbling others and kick ass every day.  I pretty much suck at the workouts and have to scale them down to weights I can actually lift while the little 100lb girl next to me whips the prescribed weight around like it is a paper sack.  Nahhhh, that isn't embarrassing at all.  I have to keep in mind that I am competeing with myself and that I haven't lifted in over 20yrs.  At the end of the workouts I always feel like my heart is going to pop.  The Heart Popping is what made me think the new plan could work.

What if...I cut down mileage and include Heart Popping crosstraining?  The experiment is to decrease mileage to 30-50 miles a week and add in crossfit.  I plan to sign up for a 50 miler in March.  That will be my measuring stick.  If I can run around a 9hr, 50 miler then the crossfit is working, if it is a struggle then I will go back to more running and less crosstraining (I won't cut it out all together but it will have to decrease a ton to make time for running).  I am not sure you can really train for 100 miles running only 50 miles a week, that sounds nuts but the CF people swear by it.  I guess there is only one way to find out and it seems like a fun experiment.  If nothing else maybe they can make my arms strong enough that I can run on my hands when my legs get tired, lol. 

I have met some awesome people at Crossfit.  One of them is a triathalete.  I feel like she really gets where I am at and the whole ultra running thing.  Laura is helping me figure out how to use CF to supplement/replace some of my running.  I love having someone to bounce this plan off of.  I will keep you posted on how us old ladies do with this whole Crossfit thing.

 Quick Details for all of you who don't want to read the entire Race Report: Made it the entire 24hrs (right up until the horn) and ran I think 97.8-98 miles (not sure because they haven't posted the last lap yet).

For those of you in for the long haul, buckle up...here we go!  "Shoot for the moon and if you miss you will land among the stars" -Litrell.  My Dad used to use that quote a lot.  It is a great way to live your life and it is the only way to be an ultra runner, right?  You have to dream big and go for it.  While I had a goal of hitting over 100 miles I only hit 98 (approximately) but if I hadn't shot for the moon I wouldn't have even run the race.  I ran a solid 98 mile race, I did the absolute best I could on that given day with the knowledge I had and I am happy/proud of myself.  Here is how it all began...

As most of you know this was my first time attempting two 100 mile events a month apart, actually this was my first time attempting two ultras a month apart (if you don't count 30 mile training runs back to back, and I don't).  I had no idea what to expect from my body.  After Headlands 100 I felt totally trashed, every part of my body hurt including my internal organs (I can elaborate on that later if anyone wants to know), I took a week and a half off from running, minus chasing Chloe around sandy beaches in CA.  Once I got back on the running bandwagon I didn't accumulate more than 40 miles in a given week and then it was time to race again.  Needless to say that left me feeling like non-ultra running blob heading into this race.  I had some other nagging injuries popping up and well I just didn't know what I could expect from my body but, I wanted to get out there and have some fun. 

I flew to Cleveland on Friday afternoon. I went to the grocery store (which was called the Giant Eagle, what the heck kind of name is that, who would know that was a grocery store, it sounds like a hunting store to me, sorry, I got off track) and bought my supplies, you know the ones for geriatrics and teens, a years supply of ensure and potato chips, lol, it is the fuel of champions.  Loaded up with supplies I went back to my room and packed everything in 100 calorie bags for the crew (ummmmm, I might be slightly OCD but hey if you think I am anal about this stuff you haven't met Kaci, bahahahaha, OMG we must have been separated at birth).  Kaci (Crew Chief extraordinaire) came in with her family on Friday night.  Saturday AM Kaci and I met in the lobby and headed to the race.  Of course Kaci had written down directions to everything so we found the course with only one wrong turn and that was google maps fault, truly.

Kaci and I arrived at the course way too early but, well, early is sort of my middle name.  I should have been named Tara Early Tosta, sort of has a ring to it.  So we got there and staked our claim to a nice camp site next to a .9 loop around a totally plain park and I thought "Oh My Frick'in God What Was I THINKING." We went and picked up my packet and then waited for the race to start.  About an hour before the race Jamie Donaldson marched down the path and struck claim to a site right across from ours, oh my I was in heaven.  To be so close to my idol.  It was even nice to be repeatedly lapped by her for the first 6hrs (she stopped at the 6hr mark).  Kaci and I set up my food and what not on a table right at the edge of the course.  She had everything, tent, blow up mattress, table, chairs, etc... it was plush, that is how we Running Moms roll :). 

Then it was 9am, time to roll those podcasts and get er done.  For a while I would keep track of how many laps I was doing an hour, I would do the math on distance, I would think about the people lapping me and wonder about those I passed, I would listen to part of a podcast and then repeat.  Really I just sort of ran and zoned.  It wasn't really as bad as you would think.  My body felt pretty darn good and it was amazing to see the best of the best go round and round.  Connie Gardner (who won with over 144 miles) was absolutely phenomenal to watch, she never wavered, she just ran and ran and ran.  when else can you see the super heros of your sport as often as on a nice cozy .9 mile loop, if you think of it that way it is lucky to be on a short course.  Not much happened between 0-50 miles, I ran, Kaci did an awesome job crewing, Denise (another awesome running mama) showed up to help crew and added to the camp site and then Kaci's family (Dynamo Dave and her kids) came for a while.  I let Kaci know that at 6pm I would stop to change my shoes and change to tights.  I stopped we got me changed and off I went.  I don't remember my foot hurting so bad in the first half of the race but, by 60 miles my dog was barking.  I wasn't sure what to make of it.  It was the same foot that has been giving me fits since Lone Ranger so...errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.  I knew I might have to ice it or something. 

When mile 65 came along I hit medical, I figured they could ice it and maybe tape it or something.  The first Doc there said he thought I probably had a stress fracture but, he couldn't say without an x-ray, I could tape it and press on if I wanted but that could make a break worse, if it was a fracture.  I thought taping it sounded great (Duhhh I had already put in 65 miles stopping wasn't an option at that point).  Oh did I forget to say that since Headlands my 2nd Metatarsal had been hurting as well, he didn't like the sounds of that, that one was swollen and it hurt to move my toes down.  I said press with the taping.  While two girls (who seemed to be students???) taped my foot, a second doc came to see what they were doing and, she decided that that 2nd metatarsal was just dislocated (in the wrong spot, didn't know they could move) so she said "this might hurt" grabbed my foot and yanked on that area with a nice solid tug or two and then proudly stated she thought she got it as I withered in pain and the girls stared on in horror.  They ever so gently taped the whole area and sent me on my way.  I stopped told Kaci and Denise what had gone on and kept going but, now it was a walk/jog. 

As the night wore on my jogging got less and my walking more. At some point in there my ipod died and thank goodness for Dynamo Dave (yes that is how I will now and forever refer to Kaci's husband and if you ever meet him you will know why) he came through with his mp3 player and I got to listen to some of the funniest and greatest music.  Oh man the music had me laughing.  My caffeine intake increased as did my gingerale as my stomach went into the crapper (ummm literally, sorry TMI).  At around mile 85 I told the girls I had to ice the foot, I just couldn't take it anymore.  Oh dang I forgot, I don't know how because they were totally awesome, by this time Candice and Kelly had shown up as reinforcements and had been to Running Mom boot camp on how to crew (given my Denise and Kaci, they say they were scared but they loved it :)).  I sat down and I think at first we tried just elevating my foot, I took off and immediately turned around and that is when we got ice and wrapped the foot up.  After about 15-20 minutes of icing and elevating it, we got my shoe back on (note to self: don't have anyone else tie your shoe on a hurt foot, lol) and off I went.  From there on out I didn't stop again just cranked through the end of the race.  At one point the guy in charge of the scores told me I could make 100 miles if I ran 9mm or something and I tried, really I did, but I crashed and burned after two laps, gosh darn I was just done done done done done.  My legs were too pooped to pop and well my foot was stupid.  I just entered my pain cave and marched on until the horn blew, I decided I didn't care how much anything hurt I wasn't stopping for anything. 

All in all it was a GREAT race.  I am proud of it.  I worked so hard and I learned that even coming off a 100 miler my body will still hook me up with another hard core race.  My crew was beyond amazing.  I can't believe how awesome they were.  Kaci and her family were just beyond words, no honestly don't even know where to begin.  Denise was a fire cracker, despite having been in the hospital all week she came out and helped out, cheered me on and organized the rest of the crew.  Kelly and Candice showed up during the best time for me to have bright bubbly people around and just pushed me on.  The whole crew was just unbelievably amazing.  I only wish I could have spent more time with them.

There have been some points post race that I have been down about my mileage but then I think of a line from one of my favorite poems "never compare yourself to others for there will always be those that are greater and lesser than you" -Erhman.  True enough.  If I compare myself to the likes of Connie Gardner I look like a total wimp mileage wise but, if I look at me, me on that day, with my training, with my body, with my life, how did that person do, I know I did the best I could.  I worked so hard for every mile. 

I need to get some sleep so that is all for now.  I will post more later and maybe the crew will write up their thoughts on the race. 

Happy Running Everyone!  Be the best you can be.

Kaci and Denise

The Nash Clan

The Camp Site and Kaci looking on

Kaci and Candice

I have mentioned in past posts that I have another ultra coming up.  It is the North Coast 24 hr race in Cleveland.  When I signed up I did it thinking I would already be trained up from Headlands and it would be awesome to see some of the big names in ultra running even if it was as they lapped me repeatedly.  I still think it will be awesome to see the big names in ultra running but, I question the training part of my plan.  I came off of Headlands barely being able to walk and with bruised feet, it took over a week for me to be able to run normal.  Since that race I haven't had a week over 36 miles.  I didn't know whether to taper, to rest and heal, or to train.  So here I am a week out from the race and wondering to myself what exactly are my goals.  What can I expect from my legs and feet at this point in the game and how frick'in boring is it going to be to run a .9 mile (oh yes I said .9 and it is FLAT, ughhhh,  my quads are secretly happy) loop over and over and over and over ....again.  Are there even enough pod casts recorded to make that .9 mile loop enjoyable tolerable? Oh man!

Here is what it comes down to: I am probably in slightly worse shape than I was going into Headlands but I have slightly more confidence.  24hrs is a ridiculous amount of time to run for and the .9 mile loop is just off the charts nut-so.  I am slightly nuts so that might be a good fit.   I have an awesome running mom (Thank you so much Denise Carter) and maybe two meeting me there to help me out.  So what should my goals be???? I would love love love to break 100 miles and know that I can but, I also don't want to set my goals too high.  I honestly have no idea if my left foot and hip are willing to go the distance with me and I am terrified, yes I used the T word, of the wee hrs of the morning when I seem to have issues with bonking.  Gosh Darn, I bonked so hard at Headlands I can still feel how bad it hurt deep in my core to have to stay awake but, then I didn't bonk at Heartland but, then I did at Lone Ranger and at Rocky.  Oh man, I really hope the bonk doesn't come and kick my butt it is way worse than the pain in your legs and feet.  The bonk is a mean old bugger, it kicks you in the A$$ and then makes you question yourself and your abilities.  I HATE the bonk.  Oh yes, sorry, back to expectations and goals, if all goes well, meaning my foot and hip hold out I want to hit 110 (yep I put it in writing) if all doesn't go well then I hope I run a smart race.

Happy Running All!   I am off to get a run in (still not sure if I am tapering or training).

I was going to write a Post about how important Crews are to ultra's or how trashed my quads are and my worries over how to train from here but then today I saw the most impressive display of Perseverance. 

You see I think the most important determining factor of success for a 100 mile race is attitude and perseverance.  I wonder all the time if people are born with perseverance or if they develop a never give up attitude through out life.  I still don't know the answer but I now can tell you there is some sort of innate sense in kids that allows them to just keep going. Duhhh....right, they have to learn to walk and talk and well do everything adults can do, it is a long hard process.  Ehhh but this is my blog so I am still going to share my proud mama moment.

Chloe my sweet sweet 3yr old (no i am not biased, lol) wants more than anything to be a Hockey player like her Dad, Brothers and Cousin Joe.  She is in a week long skating/hockey camp this week but, she hasn't been on the ice in months.  On Monday she went out there and repeatedly fell and got up for over an hour.  She never gave up, she never cried, she didn't even get help from the coaches.  She isn't a crier and the wheel that doesn't squeak doesn't get attention so, there she was out on the ice, out of my reach and my heart broke as I watched her try over and over again to skate.  By today she was still the slowest kid but now she was gliding and learning to skate backwards and still trying.  Watching makes me want to cry or rush out and help her but you know thank goodness for this sport.  I get to watch my daughter fight, I get to see what she is made of, she gets to see what she is made of.  I am so proud of her.  I don't think at 3yrs old I could have spent an hour falling down and standing back up over and over again and not cried or stormed off the ice but, she can.

My little Chloe showed me the definition of Perseverance today and I cannot tell you how proud I am of her.  She is amazing.  Anytime a race gets hard I am going to think of today and watching her fight so patiently for her goal. 

Ironically I have always hoped that Chloe would learn from my example.  That she would know a person can do absolutely anything they put their mind to.  That there are no limits except the ones we impose on ourselves but....ummmm...well she seems to already understand that.  Who is the parent here anyway??? LOL. 

Happy Running All!!

Hope you find a Chloe moment this week. 

Jimmi and I getting my number

Oh dear was I praying already???

I learned a lot at this race.  I do now have a renewed sense that I can conquer anything I put my mind too.  I need to work on my downhill running.  I need to stop wearing Mizunos period, they clearly do not work for me.  I have to get a better headlamp.  I need ot pay better attention to the course at night.  But you know overall most of the race went right.  The crew and pacers rocked, every single one of them just did an amazing job.  My training is working for me and lets face it with my top priority being: being a mom and wife, I don't see me finding any more time to train.  So if the best I can get is 2nd with that, I am pretty darn happy with that.  I worked my butt off and dang that race was great. 

So what is next you ask??? A 24 hr race next month.  I know I know....I said Ii wouldn't do one again but well, I have to give it a whirl. 

Both feet were pretty badly bruised, yuck!

Awesome Rumming Mamas.  The day after the race.  Love you both and can't thank you enough.

run if I want to
you would run to
if you were you know who ...

(you should be singing the above to the tune of  "It's my Birthday and I will cry if I want to")

This is what happens when your ipod dies 15 miles into a 25 mile run.  You make up songs and think of crazy things you can do. 

Today really is my Birthday.  I am 38.  I should be running 38 miles (like any good ultra runner would do) but I only have 25 in and no idea if I am going for 13 more tonight.  Only time will tell.  The run this AM felt great as in GREAT!!!!!!!  Oh man the legs are starting to feel like my legs again.  The ankle is great as long as I don't tweak it too much...that may be an issue on my 50 mile trail race in less than two weeks, hummmmm...  Now onto the two amazing women I met this week.

On Saturday I had headed out on an Emergency Easter Bunny run.  What is that you ask?  Well Chloe had sent a letter to the Easter Bunny asking for a bulldozer, her father (my husband, who is amazing) forgot to tell me about this letter.  As Chloe and I were driving back from VT she tells me that the Easter Bunny is going to bring her a bulldozer, she is sure of it because she sent a letter with a picture.  SHIT! Ok so Saturday I head out for my run/mission.  It is pouring rain.  I run all the way to town and find a bulldozer at the back of the shelf at the grocery store, GREAT! Now I have to get the thing home.  I tie it to my camel bak.  Now there is a site for you.  In super uppity Ridgefield a runner running in the pouring rain with a bulldozer tied to her pack, bahahahahaha.  I am rounding the corner to out neck of the woods (quite literally) and I see the lady who lives across the lake running the other way.  U TURN.  I track her down and crash her run.  What?? I need a running buddy.  I am desperate.  I hijack her run and we run 3 miles or so together me with the bulldozer now under my arm (the bag broke).  I am not sure that was the best first impression to make but it sure was fun to run with someone.  Any bets on if she will run with me again? 

The next day, Sunday.  We are all done with our egg hunt and are sitting outside with the neighbors and Chloe is playing with her bulldozer (she loves it btw) and Taren (Karen with a T) runs by.  She says Hi! And then says "I didn't know you run ultras, Jeff (her neighbor, word gets around quick up here in our lake community) told me."  "Anyway you want to do a 2.5hr run with me."  Well HELL YES!! Doug gives me a thumbs up and I scurry inside to change as quick as lightning.  Did I forget to say I have seen Taren running by, she is super fast and was therefore sort of avoiding her.  But, desperate times call for desperate measures and long runs even everything out, right???? OMG she was fast.  Turns out she runs 3hr marathons give or take 5 minutes.  And her idea of an easy run is my marathon race pace.  If you think she slowed going up hill you are wrong, we ran up hill and down hill all at a sub 9mm pace.  It was tough but it was awesome.  She is an awesome lady and so inspirational.  I can't wait to run with her again.  I was kind of laughing about the whole situation, how many people run up to a neighbor and say, hey you want to run 2.5hrs and the nut job says yes?  You just don't find that everyday.  Love it. 

All in all I had an awesome week last week.  Love finding running buddies.  Wooot wooot!!

Happy Running All!