Tuesday, March 8, 2005

Fear

Fear is an ugly thing. Recently I've found myself consumed by it, and it's eating away at my peace and my sanity, ripping through truth and implanting lies. I was reading Psalm 27 last night ("The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life, of whom shall I be afraid?") and it occurred to me that whereas in that psalm David had a legitimate fear (if fear can actually be legitimate)of people who were seeking him out, I don't fear the "who" but the "what if". David had real problems; I just have phantoms of problems. For example, what if none of the schools I applied to give me money? What if I get in but then I flunk out? What if I am stuck living with my parents for the rest of my life? What if I never find a job I love? What if I get married and have kids and then find out that I'm a terrible mother and wife? What if I don't get married? What if, what if, what if...and the thoughts go on and on until I feel like I'm going to explode. And looking at the list of things I just typed I am reminded once again that I have no control over any of it, and that more than likely these things I am afraid of happening won't happen. And if they do, it's not like God will leave me to fend for myself. No, for even though I am faithless and unfaithful, God is ever faithful and true to His Word. I think it's time to kick fear out and let peace in...

"Oh, the differences that often are between everything we want and what we really need." Nichole Nordeman

No comments:

Post a Comment

I am honored that you took the time to stop by my blog. I read and appreciate all comments, so tell me what you think!