For the Love

I love clothes. They're kind of important. And I love cute clothes. I don't, however, always love shopping. You know why? Because every time I go shopping I am forced to try on each pair of pants in at least two different sizes. Why? Because clothing manufacturers all have a top-secret formula for determining clothing size, and they apparently aren't sharing formulas. Shopping then becomes a cosmic guessing game. Will I be a size 18 or 16? Plus-sized or regular? So I just grab a little everything and hope I can find a pair that isn't hideous, grossly overpriced, and fits. When I think of all the variables to consider, I deem it a small miracle when I find a pair (or on an extremely fortuitous day, two pairs) of pants.

Take my latest shopping venture, for example. I am in a frustrating place when it comes to sizing because a lot of plus-sized clothing no longer fits (hallelujah!), but many misses clothes don't fit, either. So when I went to JC Penney, I grabbed pants from both sections, not knowing what in the world to expect. What's interesting is that I tried on size 16 and size 16W, and there seemed to be NO difference in how those two fit in one brand. But in another brand, the 16W was too big, but a regular 16 was too small (and there was no regular 18 to try, nor was there a 14W). It's enough to give a girl a headache! I ended up buying two pairs of pants (size 16W), and even though I would have preferred to have pants without the "W" on the end, these were on sale and looked good, so I bought them. Ultimately, it isn't about the number on the clothes, it's about how those clothes make me feel.

Is it too much to ask for a little consistency when it comes to clothing sizes? Why is it so hard to create a consistent sizing system that all manufacturers use? Can you imagine how much easier that would make shopping?? I would love to be able to walk into a store and pick a pair of pants off a rack and know they'll fit, but I suppose that will only happen in my dreams.

Does anyone else have this problem, or is it just me? Surely I'm not alone in this craziness.

Dear Wal-Mart,

I've been a longtime shopper of yours, often in spite of a desire to go anywhere but Wal-Mart. Your low prices and one-stop-shop appeal, however, keep luring me back. However, I must say that if you wish to keep my business, I highly recommend attending to the following problems.

1. If you're going to have 8 so-called "Speedy Checkout" lanes, have the decency to have at least half of them open. I can't even count the number of times I have gone to your store for just a few items, only to find that my "speedy" trip has turned into a "near-eternal" wait because there are only 2 "Speedy Checkout" lanes open, both of which are occupied by patrons who have exceeded the 20-item limit. Which brings me to my next suggestion...

2. If you're going to have a sign at the "Speedy Checkout" lanes that says "20 items or less," have the decency to enforce said sign (and it wouldn't hurt to have it be a grammatically correct sign, one that says, "20 items or fewer"). Just today I was at dear ole Wally World in the "speedy" lane, and both people in front of me had well over 20 items in their carts. Yet nothing was said to these patrons, and people like me, who only have 5 items, are forced to wait behind these rule-breaking fiends. (Of course I could say something to the people in front of me, but confrontation is not my strong point, nor do I want to get into a brawling match over some items in a shopping cart. Plus, I resent the fact that your slack rule enforcement would put me in the position of having to do that. I just want to buy my 5 items in a timely, efficient manner, but it seems I am often unable to do so.

3. Please stop redesigning the layouts of the stores. It is highly frustrating to go to a Wal-Mart in another town, only to discover that I can't find that much-needed item because the section it is in cannot be found in the place I'm accustomed to finding it. I would think that having a universal layout for all the stores would be somewhat intuitive, but perhaps counter-intuitive is what you're aiming for. If so, you're doing a bang-up job. Keep up the good work.

I have a deadline looming over my head (tomorrow), and yet I can't muster up any sense of urgency. Remind me never to try and get published in the summer. It's just not a good idea. I think it's Stephen's fault, really. Knowing that I'm going to see him tomorrow makes me distracted.

I'm feeling random, so now is as good a time as any to discuss a little gender inequality I have observed. Last week I had to buy new razors, and while standing in the aisle at Wal-Mart looking over the myriad of options available to me as a woman, I noticed something interesting. The type of razor I had selected, a Schick razor in a cheery pink color, was also in the men's razor section. As far as I could tell, the only discernible difference between my razor and the male version was the black and grey coloring. One would assume that these razors would be identical in price, right? You would be wrong. The black and grey razor (a 4-pack, just like the package I had selected) was two dollars cheaper than my pink razor. Can anyone explain this to me? I scanned both of the packages rather thoroughly, certain that I was missing some key difference, but I could find none. Am I to believe that women are paying more for a color choice?! Tell me this is not true because it rather infuriates me. I ended up buying the black and grey razor, and it's working quite nicely. I may never buy another "female" razor again, but this means I am destined to a life of bland razors when I could have pretty ones. It's an unjust world we live in.

EDIT:  Two hours of sleep.  Awesome.  I wish someone would discover a medical cure for procrastination.

Okay, I know I'm updating like a crazy person, but I have this stupid project due tomorrow that I just can't seem to make myself work on, so I xanga instead!

You Are Coke

A true original and classic, you represent the best of everything you can offer. Just the right amount of sweet, just the right amount of energy... you're the life of the party. Your best soda match: Mountain Dew Stay away from:Dr Pepper

In other news (that's becoming like the trademark thing for me to put in these posts; let's make it a trend and spread it around!), I got really excited when I first read the headline "Church to stop protesting at funerals" but then when I read the article, I realized the church in Kansas who protests at the funerals of those who fought in the war is only stopping protests in the states where it's been made illegal to do so.  Says the daughter of Fred Phelps, pastor of this church, "We're not going to get arrested.  We obey the law."  Well, how commendable of you!  Forget that you're breaking God's law by showing such complete hatred and disregard for other people.  Forget that protesting at funerals is certainly not the way to "win friends and influence people."  Forget that Christians are called to spread the gospel and promote the glory of God, not spread hate and breed bad feelings about Christianity.  Forget all of that.  You're not breaking any laws, so good for you. 

Apparently the era of the telegram is over as of January 27. I have neither sent nor received a telegram, and now I will never have the chance. Bummer. Of course, it's really a miracle the practice of sending telegrams lasted as long as it did, since the Internet and email have revolutionized the way we communicate. I don't actually have any smart commentary on this; I just thought it was interesting. (And for a wonderful post on the correct usage of semicolons, you can visit this site. It's so refreshing to see someone writing about grammar. Or maybe it's just sad he had nothing better to do. Kidding!)

For those of you who didn't know, Coretta Scott King passed away yesterday. What really saddens me about this is the fact that I was able to find out that Lindsay Lohan cut herself and had to have stitches easier than I was able to find a news story about King on Yahoo. Not only that, but they had this great big banner about the Oscar nominations, and yet the King story wasn't even one of the main links highlighted in the news section. I'm sorry, but when did stitches become news? I cut my leg shaving last week; can I get a news story about that? Oh wait, I'm not a celebrity, so of course no one cares about my injuries (even though it hurt)! And what's that? You don't care about Lindsay Lohan's injuries? Me either! Who does? I mean, if she were in a coma, I could see that making the news, but stitches? Give me a break! Are we really so desperate for gossip that a story like that is featured? It really says something about the priorities of the American people. Not to mention that I would wager that more people are watching American Idol right now than watched the President's State of the Union address last night. Yes, AI is vastly more entertaining (who doesn't like laughing at people who are hopelessly deluded in believing they can be the next big thing?), but I think hearing what the President has to say is vastly more important. (Not that he really said anything new, but whatever.)

Read the news, people! Watch the news. Be informed. Did you know there was a shooting (by a woman, no less) at a post office in California on Monday that killed 7 people? Or that Alito was sworn in as the newest Supreme Court Justice? Sure, a lot of times it's biased or one-sided, but it's all we have, so empower yourself with knowledge!

Well, I'm back in Knoxville! All holed up in my little empty apartment, my down throw tucked around my legs, Gilmore Girls playing in the background. All is right in the world. I don't start classes until the 11th, so I have some time to unpack, take down the Christmas tree (I hope I can get it back in the box), buy my books, and of course, be a complete couch potato.

On my drive back here I pondered something: why is it that people vandalize bathroom stalls? I mean, really, does anyone care if "PJ wuz here 9-13-5"? No. What are we supposed to do when we see that PJ was there, congratulate them? "Hey, good job, PJ. So glad you're a big girl and can use the bathroom." I also don't understand the insults. Making statements like "all white girls are sluts" on a bathroom wall isn't exactly going to rock the world, you know? Why bother? And who has time for that sort of thing, anyway? When I use a public bathroom, the only thing on my mind is getting in and getting out, no time for thinking up not-so-clever or unique insults to write on the wall. So please, the next time any of you think about vandalizing a bathroom wall (and I'm hoping that none of you reading this actually think about that), realize this: no one cares what you have to write on the bathroom wall!

Okay, rant over! Have a lovely evening!

Okay, kids, get comfy. It's time to vent.

Today in my research class aka the Class From Down Under (and I don't mean Australia), my professor called our attention to a new project underway by the cell phone company Dot Mobile. Apparently, the company is condensing the great literary classics into short text messages that students can download for studying. They are launching the project in January and plan to have all of Shakespeare's works complete by April. So basically Hamlet boils down to "2B or NT2B?=???" and Romeo and Juliet becomes "Romeo, Romeo--wher4 Rt thou Romeo?" The beautiful complexity of Paradise Lost is reduced to "devl kikd outa hevn coz jelus of jesus&strts war." Forget that these little messages really serve no study purpose since they don't even capture all of the plot points or aid in the comprehension of the finer points of the work. Forget that they couldn't possibly help a student understand Hamlet's soliloquies even if they know one little line.

What really irks me about this is that such a project takes a literary classic and strips it of the very thing that makes it such--its "literariness." There is no literary quality in a text message. You can't appreciate the theological nuances of Paradise Lost or Divine Comedy by reading a text message. You can't appreciate the artful quality of a well-placed Shakespearean pun in a text message. And even simplifying Hamlet to a mere plot summary does nothing, for any student of literature knows that Shakespeare ripped off most of his plots from other people. What makes Shakespeare great is not the stories; it's the way he tells the stories. It's their literariness.

What Dot mobile is doing is giving students yet another excuse not to read. As if they need any more. And what's worse--they've had a professor consulting with them on the writing of these text messages. I just can't even begin to understand that. So I beg you, go and read a book! A real book! (If you want suggestions, I'd be happy to supply them.) Put down your Cliffs Notes, don't go to SparkNotes, go to the real source and eat it up, every last morsel. Will that take time? Duh. But all things worth doing take time. That's part of what makes it worthwhile. A text message? With the push of button, you can delete it and it's gone. Literature? Literature is forever.

If you want to read about this, click here. And a Google search of dot mobile will pull up other results as well.

Okay, so I had this long post all typed out, and then a stupid bug ate it! I can't believe I haven't learned by now to save periodically! (Shut up, Daniel.) I'll try to reconstruct it. Let's see...first I explained why I changed my background song. I hadn't actually heard the version of "Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" before I added it to the list because my computer at work doesn't have a functional sound card, and we all know that's where most of my xanga-ing happens. Today is the first time I've actually listened to it, and I didn't like it, so I changed it. To those of you who did like it, I'm sorry, and I hope you can forgive me. To those of you who didn't, congratulations! You got your wish! Now I'll give 20 eprops to the person who can name the show my new background song is from. Or I guess since I can't really do that, I'll comment on your site every time you have a new post. I'm hoping at least some of the girls will know it, but sorry guys, I don't know if you will. We shall see.

As for my earlier, rather abbreviated post, I was frustrated at work b/c we were short-staffed (2 of the 5 people employed there weren't there today) and I had all this work piling up and some stuff that HAD to be done today, and I was getting ultra-stressed b/c I was doing the work of 3 people. The thing is, I could have asked my boss to help me, and he gladly would have, especially since all he was doing was playing solitaire and talking on the phone. But I didn't. I didn't want to ask for help b/c I didn't want him to know I need it. And I didn't want him to know I needed it b/c that meant I wasn't perfect, that I wasn't super-employee. Logically I know perfectly well I'm not perfect, but I still seem to operate under the delusion that I am. It would have been simple to just go and ask my boss to handle some of the load, but instead I fretted and fussed and worked myself up into a dither. I am such a controlling, anal, perfectionist.

Oh, and while we're on the subject of my imperfection, I am also a big fat wuss. I hate confrontations of any kind, so I do whatever I can do avoid them at all costs. I'd rather chop off my arm than have someone upset with me, or have to confront someone about a problem or whatever. And I need to learn how to do that. Recently at work there have been a lot of problems b/c my bosses will quote a certain price but won't write it on the order, so when I go to bill it, I just use the computer price, and then the customer calls me and rants b/c they've gotten an incorrect invoice, and it's a big ordeal. Well, I could just simply tell my bosses that it would really help if they'd notate the price on the orders, but can I do that? No. Why not? Because I'm a non-confrontational, passive-aggressive wuss. It's not like I'd have to yell at them or be rude; I could just ask them nicely to write down the prices, but even the mere thought of doing that gives me the shivers. (I get shivery/trembly when I'm really nervous.) This is not healthy. How am I going to have a healthy marriage if I can't even be honest? I tell myself that I don't mind just dealing with whatever it is, but the stuff can build up and build up until I'm like Mount Vesuvius and then I'll end up blowing up at some person and they'll be buried like Pompeii. So sad. I don't want to be a volcano. Or a pushover. Where's the balance? Help me find it! I don't really know what my point to all of this was; I suppose I just needed to unload. Writing is such therapy for me. Too bad you all had to listen in, huh? Please don't think I'm all down on myself; I'm sure later I'll probably feel superior to all of you, haha. Such is the ugly face of pride. Thanks if you read all of this, and if you didn't, I don't blame you!

"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." 2 Cor. 3:17

Well, this day is sure to be swell. (I wish I could convey my sarcasm through xanga.) First, I woke up this morning to my cell phone ringing, and my first thought was, "Who in the world is calling me this early in the morning?" Only, it wasn't that early in the morning, it was 8:40 and it was my boss wondering if I was okay b/c I hadn't shown up at work! So I freak out and look at my clock and it's flashing which means the power went out. Somehow everyone else in my family managed to get to work, but no one bothered to wake me up. I felt so bad even though my boss was laughing and thought it was hilarious, and I was running around trying to get ready, and ended up hitting my shin very hard on this stupid little bedpost while making my bed. Why did I bother making my bed, you ask? Because someone was coming to look at our stupid house that's for sale, that's why! I made it to work by 9:15, with my hair a mess, my clothes wrinkled, and my face makeup-free. So not only am I completely frazzled, I feel ugly. For someone who feels fat and ugly all the time, I sure am vain. If I learn nothing else from this morning, I've learned that. It's no fun realizing you're something you dislike in other people, although I suppose most characteristics that drive us crazy in other people are the very ones we possess in large quantities.

Anyway, the day doesn't end there. The power went out at work last night, too (that must have been quite a storm, but I wouldn't know b/c I slept right through it), and apparently it completely blew the "system board" (that's what the tech guy called it) on our printer/fax/copier machine, so we can't print anything from our computers. This is very bad, and they can't even get us a loaner machine until the next business day, so we're pretty much lame ducks right now. Fun times, fun times. I can't wait to go to grad school.

Oh, oh, oh my word! Pretty sure my boss just called me from another phone line to ask me to bring him something! Will it ever end???

[Rant] Okay, I just read the list of winners for the Dove Awards, and I would just like to say that Bethany Dillon was robbed, robbed I tell you! She definitely should have won new artist of the year, but who won it? Building 429. That's fine, their music is fine, but Bethany Dillon is amazing! I wrote a review of her album; go read it and tell me she shouldn't have won. [/End rant]

In other news, I am the worst daughter ever. I told my parents the other day about going to visit UT next week, and my mom was upset b/c she wanted to come but she'd just taken off a week to go on the cruise. Secretly, I was glad b/c I really wanted to go by myself since this is a huge step for me and I felt like I needed to do it on my own. Well, yesterday I came home from work and she says she has good news. So I say, "My computer came back to life!" (sad, I know) and she said, "No, I might be able to come with you to Knoxville! I got a girl to work for me on Tuesday, and now I just have to find someone for Monday." I didn't know what to say, so I just said that was good, but inside I wanted to tell her I wanted to go by myself, but she was so excited that I couldn't. I thought about it all last night and I was going to tell her that I wanted to go by myself when I got home from church, but she was already in bed (my college group meets late on Wed.). Then, she just called and told me she'd found someone to work for her on Monday, and when I didn't sound excited she was like, "Okay, don't sound so excited." So I told her I wanted to go by myself and she got upset b/c she'd thought I wanted someone to go with me and she'd made these plans and why hadn't I said something sooner and if I was going to pretend I wanted her to come, at least I could have kept on pretending instead of coming clean in the middle of it. Now I feel like such an idiot who can't even communicate with her mother. Ugh! I don't belong in graduate school; I need to go back to kindergarten. I know I'm not the world's best communicator (my last boyfriend will tell you that), but this really takes the cake. Am I completely horrible? Comfort, please. And all of you BBC peeps who know my mother, please don't say anything!

I. Hate. My. Job. I feel so strongly about that that each word deserves to stand alone. Today has been horrible; so often I feel on the verge of screaming or crying or quitting, but I know I can't do any of those things because I need the money and my limited skill set (if you could call it that) would more than likely prevent me from finding anything better. Even as I write this I know my discontent will pass b/c I'll get some perspective and realize that if the worst of my problems is a crummy job, then I have it pretty good. I really just needed to vent, and I figured this was a good place to do it. Back to work now. Lunch breaks aren't long enough.

Ladies and gentlemen, I have before me for my dining pleasure the world's smallest piece of chicken. Yes, that's right, I'm eating yet another Lean Cuisine, and let me just say that the pictures on the front of the box are really misleading! I'm thinking about suing. Anyway, it's supposed to come with rice and a vegetable medley, and while there's a good amount of rice, the "vegetable medley" is actually about three little carrots and a couple of water chestnuts. Yum yum. But at least it's all only 3.5 g of fat and 280 calories. Which means that since I only had three grams of fat for breakfast (1 lowfat poptart), I can go by Baskin Robbins on the way home and get three scoops of ice cream! Okay, so that would be incredibly stupid, but you see how my mind works? Being healthy is stinkin' hard! Especially when you don't like eating healthy food. The only veggies I like are broccoli, corn, carrots, and potatoes, and I can only take so much of those. Did you know that the FDA recommends 3-4 servings of veggies a DAY? Who are they kidding?? Who eats that many veggies, except animals? Does anyone reading this post, b/c if you do, I wanna hear about it. Now, if they considered french fries veggies, I'd be in good shape! And really, they should, b/c french fries are potatoes, right? Absolutely!

Anyway, I've come to the conclusion that my life is pretty much lacking in discipline. I can't even get up for work the same time every day, much less spend time with God. I'm trying to watch what I eat, but I get sidetracked by sweets a lot, and the Internet just calls to me nonstop while I am at work, whispering for me to stop my boring work and surf the web (right now doesn't count b/c I'm at lunch). Why is it so hard? One day I'll be really motivated about doing all of this stuff right, and the next day I think, "What's the point? I'll forever be messing up." Which is true. I will forever be messing up, but I would also like to think that as I grow and mature I mess up a little less often. Isn't that what the Christian walk is all about? Growing in the grace and knowledge of our Lord? If we do that, we definitely should have fewer mess-ups. And when we do mess up, our first thought shouldn't be, "Man, I blew it again! I'm such a loser!" Our first thought should be, "How I've grieved God's heart by sinning again. Lord, help me not to be so selfish and proud that I think myself not in need of Your grace." Being a perfectionist, I have to say that a lot of the times I am thinking the first thing and not the second, but it's getting better. And it will continue to get better as long as I rely on God, for "I know that He who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" (Phil.1:6). God doesn't give incompletes, and I for one am eternally thankful!

Wow, sometimes I just really hate my job. Like today, for one. I am a secretary, right? Wrong. I am a delivery girl, a travel agent, and a phone book. Seriously, all I have done today is make hotel reservations, get lunch for my boss, who, for whatever reason, never gets it himself, and look up phone numbers for the aforementioned boss. Now, if this had been in my job description, I'd be a little annoyed but then would reconcile myself to the fact that it just comes with the territory. However, this is not in my job description. I am here to fill orders, handle customer calls, bill orders, and file. And yet it's often rather hard for me to get any of that done because I am having to show my boss how to make a copy (and I do mean just a plain, old-fashioned copy) or I'm having to fix a mess created by boss or clean up the spill he made while trying to make coffee. All for what? I'm not quite sure, but I suppose the positive side to all of this is that it makes me want to go to graduate school even more. Future, here I come!