I used to be jealous of my sister. My parents sadly played the preference game with my sisters and brothers and I was at the bottom of the special child pile. Little did I know it was the best thing they could have done for me.
I have always been the type of person who is sensitive to others feelings. There are times in life when you have to be tough. I have a sister who is a hypochondriac. She has spent her whole life trying to get attention by being ill. I used to be jealous of how my parents always preferred her. She still to this day is my mother's nemesis. She will moan and groan about how she can't walk and she is in pain all the time. Then when she forgets to act you'll see her stride across the room just fine. Another sister and I just  stare flabbergasted by her nerve. When she realizes what she has done suddenly she will fall down.
Her pain pills were costing my parents$500.- a month. Now you can see how that would upset the rest of my other sisters and brothers. There are six of us. And many times I have watched one of the others need help and my parents just ignore it because they are married. So what your husband has lost his job, your bills are piling up. You need some help. Nope, you're on your own cause you are married.



In my life I have tried to learn to take things in stride. But my sister's sickening behavior makes me angry. My mother wants to rent her camp in Vermont. But my sister says no one is staying in her camp. Huh?
How does one child turn out so able to take care of themselves and another not. Well I think it has to do with this. If you coddle your child they will never learn to cope. If you do everything for them how will they ever learn to do for themselves.
I pride myself in the fact that I have fixed my own problems. I wouldn't have minded help at times, but I always managed to muddle through. So my advise to parents out there today is stop!
If you never let them go, they never will. I say push them out into the world and be there to give moral support. That is what we all need.
Though I never got that from my parents I have filled the gaping hole with the love of my good friends.
How does a parent find the balance between the two? Common sense. We all have it, we just need to grasp it and use it.
Be there for your kids, but don't live for them. Or they will never live themselves. My sister is now 55 and will be a lonely, sad, person, as soon as my elderly mom passes. Then what will she do? Don't know.
But I do know that because I had to fight my own battles I have learned to develop the weapons we all need to survive.
And the best thing I can say is, "thanks mom and dad, for not loving me as much as my sister, your love has smothered her drive and now she is stuck in her childhood forever." How does one change that, I don't know. But, I am have something she doesn't have now, and that is very important to me. I have my self respect. I can be proud I have made it this far all on my own! With the help and the love of my friends I make my own happiness.
I pity my sister. She doesn't know what she is missing!!!