I Will Pull This Blog Over!

Someone sent this to me and it was too funny not to pass on. There will be an official update to the blog this week. I am speaking at an adoption class tomorrow but hopefully by Wednesday at the latest- and I will even include photos. Anyways- enjoy....

HERE ARE THE PARTICIPANTS FOR THE NEXT SERIES OF SURVIVOR

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes.

There is no fast food.

Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, and complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of 'pretend' bills with not enough money.

In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.

Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time--no emailing.

Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment.

He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care.

He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function.

Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, adorn himself with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes,keep fingernails polished and eyebrows groomed.

During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties.

They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.

They will need to read a book to the kids each night and in the morning, feed them, dress them, brush their teethand comb their hair by 7:00 am.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's name. Also the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of labor, each child's favorite color, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance. The last man wins only if...he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice.

If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years eventually earning the right To be called Mother!

They always tell you to expect regression when a new sibling joins a family but really neither A or X had much (or any) regression after the younger ones came. But they were also older when it happened. A was almost 4 when X came, almost 7 when D came and 8 when K came. X was 3 when D came and 4 when K came. D was only 2 however when K came and apparently 2 is the magic number for regression in our house. She has been climbing in the Exersaucer to play in it. The first couple of times she got stuck and cried while waiting for someone to come rescue her. Of course, that didn't stop her from going right back in. Now she has learned how to climb out which is an improvement but we are still working on climbing in ONLY when K is OUT of the Exersaucer. The first several times D didn't seem deterred at all by the fact K was sitting in the only seat. All and all, no biggie and I thought if this is the big regression I can live with it.

Then one day I walk into the kitchen to find this...







Yes she had put on a bib, climbed into the high chair (I have no idea how- the girl's gonna be a gymnast) and was patiently waiting for me to feed her. And no, giving her food to feed herself was not acceptable- she wanted fed like the "ma-me" (baby) So I fed her a cup of yogurt with a baby spoon and she seemed very pleased with herself. I should add this is the same high chair she would NOT sit in happily when she was a baby.

She has not made a return trip to the high chair after I told her she had to eat baby food next time. Apparently, there is a limit to how much she wants to be a baby. Now if I could just get her to sleep in her own bed........

and because I think it is an very important issue and the more people who make their opinion heard the better-
Tell your congresspeople to permanently protect the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. Drilling will not result in marketable oil for at least 10 years and the oil is only predicted to last 6-12 months. Drilling is too big a cost for too little a gain.

So B is in California for the week. So that means pick up and drop off are all me. Tuesday we get up, everyone gets dressed with no problems, and we get out the door with no incidents at all (which is something of a miracle in and of itself) I drop off A and drive to day care to drop off the girls. I think to myself "Wow- I might even make it to work on time and I won't have to rush during drop offs" As I swiped my access card in the day care parking lot gate I realize that something was missing...

No, not one of the kids
but K's bag that has her blanket and food in it. Now the food we could live without since there is an extra stash they require parents to bring in case the kids are "extra hungry" I now know it is really in case "your mom is an idiot and forgot your bag even though it was sitting right by the door" But the blanket is a drop dead necessity- otherwise sleep would be out of the question. So we drive all the way back home (20 minutes), grab the bag (right where I left it by the door) and drive back. I got to work 45 minutes late...

Then since B is the coach of X's soccer team he promised I would bring the practice jerseys to practice. In what world was I going to be able to pick up all 4 kids, drive home, change a couple of diapers, wrestle shin guards and soccer socks into soccer shoes and get to the practice with the stuff (and kids and related kid gear) by 6:15. Not even bending the laws of time and space was I going to make it on time. Sure enough, I got there at 6:23. But otherwise Tuesday was uneventful

Then came Wednesday. It did start with everyone getting to where they needed to be WITH all their supplies and I made it to work within 10 minutes of when I should have. Now I teach preschool special ed and today was the first day of school. It was a hot day- we are now having a contest in the building to see whose classroom is the hottest during the day.

I'm gonna win! We have a wall of south facing windows that butt up against the asphalt parking lot. We only have 2 (okay 4 now since I "acquired" 2 from other parts of the building- why exactly does the copier need the biggest fan in the building?) but we have to keep the door shut or the preschoolers will wander out. Since I went to college to be a teacher and not a doorman- we keep the door shut. This means there is no cross breeze. We measured the temp after the kids left and the door had been open about an hour and it was 98 degrees in the room (which is 6 degrees hotter than outside) I have no doubt that during the day, with that door shut, it was well over 105 degrees. Where's that darn OSHA when you need them. The kids drank over 3 gallons of water. At that rate it is going to cost me $$$$$ to keep the water cooler stocked.

Then, the day ends, and we finally go to get everyone picked up. Now the logical (from a distance/time view) way is to get the girls and then A, but that means that I have to get all 3 little kids out of (and back into) car seats when we get A. Or I can get A and then go get the girls (X is at my school so he is already with me) I decide to get A first. We are running late due to some problems at work. I have a 7pm meeting and the babysitter is coming at 6:30- it is 5:10 and I have 40 minutes of drive time plus however long pickup takes. We get to day care and go to get K. Now the infant rooms at the center do not allow shoes in the room (so the babies on the floor don't get into messy shoe dirt) I leave both boys outside the door, where I can see them through a window and go get K. A has my big set of car keys. Next thing I know, X is on the floor crying and when he stands up blood is pouring down his face from a (small) cut above his eye. Apparently for reasons only he will understand, A threw the keys at X and hit him. Now I have to spend time stopping the bleeding. Once that is done it is 5:40 , we go get D and as her teacher puts on her shoes I hear "Did you pee through your diaper" Luckily her teacher was willing to change her. We finally get into the car- it is 6:00. I look down and notice a light on the dashboard is lit up. Yep, i'm out of gas..... we did make it to a gas station and the rest of the day was uneventful We did get home before the babysitter arrived (about 30 seconds before) but hey some days are like that.

I really hope tomorrow is less "interesting"