I Will Pull This Blog Over!

First there was the debate about Stuck: the Documentary and it's role in helping or hurting the "plight" of children in orphanages.  The debate should not be about whether or not it is a bad thing to be raised in an orphanage (I think pretty much everyone agrees that it is definitely a bad thing).  The debate should be about what is the appropriate way(s) to eliminate the need for children to be in orphanages at all.  

And the problem is that the people most vocally jumping on board with the "adoption is the best solution" answer are adoptive (or prospective) adoptive parents.  And while I have no doubt that their passion comes for a love of their children and a desire to see every child in a home, they have a tendency to reduce the argument to two positions.  Either you believe all children should be adopted OR you believe it is okay to "rot" in an orphanage until they age out into the sex trade, etc at a young age.

Stuck: the Documentary is very much all children should be adopted (and any obstacle in the way eliminated, and if that means trafficking and other coercion/corruption happens well that's just the price of doing business an unfortunate occurrence)

Now the rumors are flying that the Duggar's might be considering adoption.  And again anyone who questions the wisdom of adopting a child with a traumatic past into a family with 19 (and counting) children is squarely in the "you think it's okay to let kids rot in an orphanage camp"   While I am sure they would provide a stable loving home, it is not inappropriate to suggest that not every child from an institutional background should go to a mega family.  For some kids, they NEED to be an only or one of a very few.  Adoptions disrupt for this reason.  But I digress....

They are now being used to promote adoption as the solution to the world's orphan problem (again pointing out that of the oft used 140 million orphans in the world, most have at least one living parent)  Seems to me that once again, if you want to reduce the number of kids in orphanages, maybe the focus should be on reuniting children with their original families.  That is the third option between adoption and rotting- Reunification with their families.  That is the option that Stuck should be focused on and what we as adoptive parents should talk about when people want to help the orphan.  

The third option should be the FIRST thing that is looked at.  Before international adoption and certainly before a lifetime in an orphanage.

(and I recognize that at an individual child level, adoption can truly be life saving.  But if we are ever going to really address the needs of the parentless child, we have to look beyond the individual child- as hard as that is- and look at the systemic situation.  When we look only at the individual, we miss the big picture.  Things like orphanages full of "created" orphans and offering no assistance, space or care to those children who are truly in need.  How much could care be improved if agencies stopped creating orphans to fill the desires for healthy infants.  And despite the increase in special needs adoptions (many of whom are truly in need), the most desired child profile is still healthy infant.  The very children who are strong candidates for reunification.  How much could the model improve for all kids if reunification was the first priority?)

International adoption should be reserved for those children who truly CAN NOT be reunited. 

And if the Duggars want to adopt one of those children (and can pass a homestudy)...
best wishes to them

So here are a couple of final projects from A's art class last semester