My Lady of the Lantern

I just want to say Sorry to the Show and Tellers....I have not been returning any comments lately....I am busy. But I promise to get back to you...not just as an obligation, but more for the fact that I love Show and Tell. Yes, I am still ticking! ^WiseGuy^

Really? Who is going to blink first? Me or God? And whoever blinks, who will be crying? ^WiseGuy^

Dear God, Please spare me the torture. I would prefer it to be early than 'late'. Yours truthfully, ^WiseGuy^

Enroute to my workplace, it is this beautiful black equestrian statue of Rani Laxmi Bai that I pass everyday. So today, I want to share a picture of that statue with you and a small snapshot of her life. She walked this earth in the 19th Century and was the queen of Jhansi. At that point of time, India was under British control. Active then was the Doctrine of Lapse that Lord Dalhousie had put into place. That doctrine stated that if a princely state remained without a direct heir, the British had the right to annex the estate. The doctrine deprived the royal family of its inheritance and left the remaining heirs to a meager pension from the British. The Rani of Jhansi had a son, but the baby died in a few months of its birth. Not soon after the Queen and the King adopted a baby boy – Damodar Rao. But tragedy was not far away. The Queen became a widow soon after the adoption. The British refused to consider Damodar Rao as the legal heir, because he was adopted and instituted proceeding...

Yeah, this could be something smashing awesome or friggin' awful! Still waiting for AF... ^WiseGuy^

On my way home, I stopped at a place to pick up something to present S, my niece, as a gift for her first birthday. I was highly taken by a really cute cuddly elephant...so that got picked and gift wrapped. I also bought a really sweet pink bunny - for my baby . This is the very first time I have bought something for the baby. I say 'the' baby, as if it really exists. It does not. This is huge for me. I am not sure how much time will it be, before I can lay it next to my baby. Second, in my culture, nothing is bought for the baby before it is born because it is considered bad luck. Well, I am not sure how more bad can my luck get. So, what the heck, if I like it, I will buy it. Just bring me my baby. BTW, it is Tick Tick 2! ^WiseGuy^

Still Waiting for AF. ^WiseGuy^ Image Source: http://comps.fotosearch.com/comp/ART/ART123/woman-hamster-wheel_~BSR023.jpg

What? I am feeling twitching/tugging on my right side, right above the vayjayjay. Is it really happening or my mind is throwing me bonky signals? I really have lost the ability to decide that . AF is nowhere in sight. ^WiseGuy^

There is nothing poetic about waiting for AF to come by. Not when it is clockwork and refuses to miss appointments in any cycle. I am sitting on the watch a wee bit early - expected tonight or tomorrow, calculating by last month's day-count. ^WiseGuy^

1. Observe it carefully. 2. Turn it on its back. 3. Unwrap and bite in! This beetle had been caught from Mel’s closet . ^WiseGuy^

Went to V for buying totally non-sexy nightgowns today. (What's so noteworthy about that?) The last time I had gone there was in 2008, at the end of my fourth and final IUI cycle. Bags in hand, I was making my way to the parking lot, when I thought that I felt some moistness down under. (Huh, it must all be that standing for long.) My periods had arrived. Today, I was there, and constantly thinking of that one moment when I realized that my periods had arrived and how deeply frustrated I was. But now, I am prepared. AF is expected in a couple of days. And I am mentally ready to welcome her. In fact, an alternate scenario will actually catch me by surprise. ^WiseGuy^

Was on March 8th . Passed away without much ado. Prior to Woman Anyone?, I used to randomly post about my IF woes on my other blog . ^WiseGuy^

What are the possible indicators that one may have a retroverted uterus? This second dig at my current sweetness is a brief listing of the symptoms . Different online resources lists these symptoms of a tipped uterus (only indicative): *** Z ero Symptoms *** P ain during intercourse(dyspareunia)* *** P elvic pain during menstruation or ovulation* *** B ack pain during menstruation *** S light incontinence *** F requent UTI (How is that?) *** P roblems when trying to conceive (Whoa! They said it and these guys have also said the same) *** P ain in using tampons One more thing is that while reading through, a site said that the woman on top position is the one likely to cause the greatest discomfort. *A. Fauconnier, J. Dubuisson, H. Foulot, C. Deyrolles, F. Sarrot, M. Laveyssière, J. Jansé-Marec, G. Bréart (Year not given), Mobile uterine retroversion is associated with dyspareunia and dysmenorrhea in an unselected population of women , European Journal of Obstetrics & Gynecology ...

Hello People, There are a couple of issues where I will love to have your opinion/ practical tips/wisdom from experience on. a) In the run-up to the November ’08 IVF/ICSI, I was on a cocktail of Lupride, FSH and Wysolone (that’s a steroid), among other sweet things. Apart from the other symptoms, I had experienced a general sense of being ‘bloated’ then. My problem is that even though I have gone off all those things, lately I feel bloated again. Especially after a meal, it is as if my entire tummy swells out – I look four months (what a joke!). And there is a definite swelling on my left hand (the same bangle acts tougher sliding in/out of that hand). And the lower parts of my legs ache in the morning (though the pain quickly goes with mobility). Have you too experienced this? I could phone up my mother, but lately she has been obsessed with answering pranayam to all the problems of this planet. b) I want to lose weight a bit. And I am unsure of what exercises must I take up since ...

This time around I am going to introduce you to two firsts of my life. Very little of the music that I heard as a child was English music. In fact, it was only when I was at the threshold of teenage that English music entered my life with all its force. The first video that I am going to share with you is one which I watched on MTV and rather than cruising ahead, stopped to wonder – Who is this? The video is – Come Undone by Duran Duran. The second first is the one that I played on a jukebox for the first time. The jukebox is located in Café Mondegar in Mumbai. The song is Michael Jackson’s They don’t really care about us. Everybody else is doing there thing here ! ^WiseGuy^

Instant wetness... Was sending an e-mail to J, Letting know what I want from Tiny Moments of Pure Joy , And what is to be inscribed.. He wants to know why I am getting it. Because people may forget I lost my composure. I regained it again. I am getting good at this - wiping off before it takes a slide down a cheek. Still a ^WiseGuy^

Doc: I warned you that the Fertility Drugs might have side effects. Me: That's fine. But where is my main effect? ^WiseGuy^ Image Courtesy: http://www.toonpool.com/user/997/files/fertility_drugs_doctor_patient_262985.jpg

Officially, I touched 4 years and 6 months of TTC efforts today. I started as a passive TTCer and raced on to become an active one and then dashed to being a crazy-tranced TTCer... I have finally put a comma on my TTC efforts. I have finally called for a Time-out to get my life together and recover a bit. Secretly, my hamster dance continues. Useless milestone indeed. ^WiseGuy^

Attention everybody, the class is about to begin within a line or two. Remember I talked about researching and reporting on Retroversion , once upon a golden moment? Well, the time has come. Before I begin I want to acknowledge this super blogger – Brenda , for the help she extended to me. I also want to thank e.v.e.r.y.b.o.d.y. who has offered to help. Needless to say, I may need more help. This post covers the meaning of retroversion . Several online sources, in similar words highlight this particular meaning of retroversion – *Latin, retro + vertere, to turn *a turning or tilting backward of an organ or body part Retroversion of the uterus is a variation of female pelvic anatomy in which the body of the uterus is tipped toward the back rather than forward. It is commonly known as a "tipped uterus." The uterine retroversion is measured as first-, second-, or third-degree, depending on the angle of tilt with respect to the vagina. Surprise Find/ Question: I did not know tha...

I am a freeze. Really! What do you do at a funeral where a group of family members are crying, wailing for the departed and how much he will be missed? Women come around and hug the family members. I freeze. At least one runny nose and sniffle runs through the general gathering. From me? Zilch. I feel bad, but no tears arrive. And I am the same person, who was sitting with the old man on Sunday (he died Monday night) morning, by his bedside when some emotion prompted me to have water in my eyes. I remembered November. It happens so often. I am just about to lose control when I regain it. I could have cried well had I been alone. But lately I have never been lonely on opportune times. Or when I have been alone, I have never really had the same emotions hitting me. Oh Well.. ^WiseGuy^

Alrighty then...let's start with the serious business first. If you have been down the IVF route there are two questions posed by One_Hit-Wonder . If you can give her some helpful answers, that would be nice. Secondly, I read this on The Steadfast Warrior 's blog and gave it a shot myself. As per the urbandictionary.com, my name means: **A ______ is a rarely observed creature or kind. **One who is dramatic, extremely excitable. A Foodie, a clown, a sea urchin lover, a ball grabber,a poet. **_____s usually look funny upside down. Because they wear nothing. And get angry if other girls' hem lines outdo theirs. Now you know why I was blushing. ^WiseGuy^

Okay, I really had to browse through several pictures stored on my PC to finalize this one for this week's Show and Tell. I had left 'Fear of Flying' half-read when I left for the February trip. And I completed it only once I got back. From the trip, I brough back a black stone - shiv ling for myself. The stone looks like an egg really, absolutely smooth and does not roll around even though it appears to be so. Anyways, on a quirk I placed the stone on the front cover of Erica Jong's Fear of Flying. I wonder if this will get categorized into blasphemy, but I was looking at the common connect here. You see, Shiva is represented as the human phallus, and Jong's book was on sexual expression. So I present to you the photograph. You can read everybody's classwork at Mel's . I will leave you with another detail - as to why Shiva is represented by the Ling. The story goes like this: A great sage Bhrigu once went to visit Shiva in his abode to discuss some matter o...

This is a lengthy post, and I did much rather have you read it at leisure than to have you hastily skim through. It is not brimming with opinion, just historical perspective. I just want to document the whole list of doctors; I have gone to with fertility related troubles. It is more of my desire to remember the misses, before I found my current one. I am most likely to be shaky in the details and might jumble up a bit as well. But I will keep on editing or modifying this if, as and when needed. 2003 The one doctor, who has been my stable rock, is my mother ( Dr. V ) who is into Obstetrics and Gynaecology. With her reference, I went to meet Dr. AB in 2003 regarding some advice about which contraceptive to use. 2004 For almost the entire 2004, I was quiet on the IF front because I was using BCPs and had zero inkling of what lay ahead. October-November 2004, was my first go at having a baby. I would still rate my efforts at having a baby as passive. I took advice from V as to how...

For one, CPT is not hearing from me ....thanks for all the helpful comments. I have had mails to increase my manhood, buy Rolex replicas and purchase Viagra online minus any prescriptions. But I was not spam-prepared for a mail that invited me to write. Second, I am going to travel in May. In another of my previous posts , I had spoken of my travel what-if. I have decided that I am making the travel plans full-steam. If the trip gets scuttled, the reason will not be my what-if. Third, my doctor had asked me to not go for another round of IVFw/ICSI till March 2009. And that is what I had really planned then. But right now, I do not feel mentally up for such a cycle. I am thinking of not using any medical intervention till August 2009. That's all, folks! ^WiseGuy^

Umm...I signed into my mail account to receive a surprise e-mail. The mail was from a Ms. Jackie Schuld, an editor at Clear Passage Therapies . The excerpt of the mail stated .... "Clear Passage Therapies has seen your blog and appreciates your honest discussion about fertility and trying to conceive.... ...We feel that you would have some insightful articles to contribute. You may provide your website address and a short (2 to 3 sentence) bio at the end of your article, which will provide you with new visitors to your site.... " The essence of their e-mail is that they are inviting me to write an article for them and submit before April 15th. They have also mailed guidelines for the articles. The invitation appears to be genuine. I am confused. Are there really websites that scout for bloggers and contact some of them to write articles for them? How can I be sure that this mail is not a spam mail. I saw the website and they appear to be based in the US. Have you heard of Cl...

Possible Answers: a) They could be three and a half by now. b) Oh, in August 2010, they would have been celebrating their first birthday. c) I do not have children. d) My kids are younger than Nadya Suleman's 14. The right answer is 'c'. Applause! A workshop is being conducted in the institute and we have several delegates who have joined us from other places. Last evening, there was an outing to a local amusement park and most of my female colleagues, brought their children along. So one of the delegates was enquiring kid count for all of us, and I was the last one she asked. When I gave my answer, I just moved away a bit. The usual second question after my 'None!' is as to how many years have I been married . And then, some funny advice either comes around or a bland 'huh' happens. Anyways, that delegate spared me the second question. And I am so glad that she did. ^WiseGuy^

Last night, I dreamt that I helped a lady in delivering a baby. It was a normal delivery. The woman was in labour and I refused to do it, but the male companion of the woman asked me to deliver it, since I was a doctor's daughter and had some idea of doing it, to say the least. It was a male child that I delivered. The setting was the old house that once me and my family occupied - the house I grew up in. I remember using the back door of the house to come out. It was dark, perhaps late in the night, but lights were on in most of the homes and people could be seen. Then I observed the tree that was there in a nearby compound. I remember the tree, it was a very tall mango tree, that had almost taken a shot at kissing the sky with its height. The tree had branches and leaves on only the top 30 percent of its length. Another person that I recognize from my real life, told me that the tree was evil. I remember seeing the tree, and feeling the coldness and darkness enveloping it. That...

Friday evening, I had gone to visit my research guide in his institute. It is there that I saw an effusive bloom on the bougainvillaea that I just could not help capture…it was a sea, a gorgeous carpet of lush, vibrant colour. One could just jump into that sea, hoping to be surrounded with as soft a feel in the inside as on the outside (never try that though, coz inside it is just a lot of pokey leaves and stems, and tiny thorns). : ) That’s the best that I could do minus a proper camera. And the rest of the class congregates here ! ^WiseGuy^