My Lady of the Lantern

So, my CBC was repeated this week (the reports came today morning), because of the awesome figures I turned out in the previous CBC. And my Hemogolobin has dipped further. :-( I have to up my iron intake and improve on my diet. My Thyroid function report is still awaited. --- I am looking forward to my family visiting us for a few days on the next weekend. --- Figlia is spectacularly articulate in her comebacks to my statements. Sometimes her replies defy her physical age. And then there are other things that make me wonder if how I will get past. Sample A: "Figzy, this is how you make 'A'." "Why?" Sample B: "Figzy, please colour inside the lines." "Why?"  I do not know the answer to Why. --- Our mornings have a beautiful tenor these days. Today she woke up and went crazy laughing at my saying "Baa Baaaaaa" and extending a hand at her. It was nuts. --- I have started feeli...

My ten minutes of peace are very important to me. The last weekend has been a rush at home, and rush at work. Ten minutes of myself for myself have been tough to find.  And then I still have the Sunday anxiety. You know, that anxiety I suffer from being alone with the little task-master on Sundays?  I get worked up simply by the fact that Sunday is approaching. This anxiety has fairly eased up since Figlia grew up, and is far lesser now, but it still kinks me.  Saturday evening was my SIL's baby shower (she is on a different continent), and there was a stream of images on Whats.ap.p and other spaces. I am happy for her. I am happy for my brother.  She commented that she felt like a queen thanks to her friends.  And I can tell you (and I hate to acknowledge this), that I felt very jealous. I had a baby shower when I was pregnant the first time around. I did not want it the second time around. And currently, I hadn't thought about it till it h...

I am 20w1d today. That's beyond the halfway mark. For me, it is more than halfway, because I am not looking at 40 weeks, but somewhere between 36 and 37 weeks.  - - - We have solved the clothing issue, by letting Figzy pick out her choice from the mound of clean laundry (that I do not fold) I stock in one of our bedrooms. The other mind-game is to stash away some dresses in her 'bag', and she 'discovers' what she wants to wear that day. - - - The kid just overcame viral fever this week. The fever was not as big a hassle, as the actual administration of the antibiotic was. The stuff was so bitter, that I just could not hide it in anything, and she started crying simply watching me approach her with the measured medicine in my hand. 

My mother shared the news of my pregnancy with a close family friend. Their daughter Xo has/had a life script similar to me. While I eventually did manage to fall pregnant minus the IUI/IVF route, Xo's two pregnancies were a result of ICSI.  Xo gave birth to her first baby (baby had died in-utero) a week before I gave birth to L.  We met a few months later, and it was a very emotional meeting.  She had an active infection and was asked to sit on the bench for a while.  She had her second child when Figzy was a few months short of her second birthday.  When my mother told Xo's mum a couple of days back about the current pregnancy, her spontaneous reaction was - "It was natural conception, right?". I can only imagine the tug of regret in her voice. Xo will not be able to conceive naturally. If she ever does try, it will be ART again. It was a moment to drink in the blessing that I have been given.  

Caught my reflection in the glass a few days back....couldn't resist.

Saturday night's scan went well, and that really helped my mental make-up. Amazingly, I have lost weight (about 1.9 kgs) between the last weigh-in and Saturday's weigh-in, and I was happy for that too. The baby is doing well, and frankly speaking I started the current pregnancy at a much higher weight than the last two, and it's not hurting to shed those kilos. My appetite is dodgy, and I struggle to remember to eat things I consumed religiously in my previous pregnancy - walnuts and almonds daily, without fail. Figzy is really rolling, and acknowledges the baby on her own. For everything we run short of, you know, things like chocolates and ice-creams and whatever else is the object of desire at a point of time, she tells me: "I will bring it from the market - for Figlia, Mummy and the baby. Okay?" I relish that little addition to her list of people she wants to get things for. I also feel a little scared that if things do not end well, it could ...

Figzy turned 30 months yesterday.  *** I have no shame left, and no need for privacy either. Figzy comes to check on me in the loo, if I have finished my potty business properly or not.  *** CBC was an eye opener. My Hemoglobin level came out as 8.6. That's like the lowest reading of my life.  I still have nausea, and do puke out complete meals now and then.  I am turning into a medicine gourmand - Between my metformin, aspirin, B12 and Folic Acid, Progesterone supplement, iron, calcium and stuff to keep nausea away, I feel like I can't take any more of it, and I will be glad for next year when I no longer ever need to be on metformin and aspirin. *** I am going to meet my Locodoc today evening. I am due for an ultrasound and I can't wait. My placenta with M is fundal. I knew of anterior and posterior and had vaguely heard of the fundus, but did not know that fundal was a position too. The good bit is that fundal placement is fa...

"This girl is getting impossible." - As declared by beloved today morning In a not so modest admission, let me admit that I am far less patient then my DH (in everything).  It's become difficult to clothe Figzy, because we are forever in the quest of 'something else'. For a while, I would choose clothes for her, and she would only make choices and inform - "I want to wear a frock" or "I want to wear the dog ( that's one of her favourite pajamas )". The change would be incorporated, and the dressing would get done. Now, she just fudges, sometimes endlessly, with "not this" and "something else".  What takes this to a different level is her intention to wear the thing herself. While she is willing for it, she has not mastered the skill yet, and so things get stuck, the foot won't pass properly, an elastic will curl somewhere and the whole pajama would get stuck somewhere, and then she can't pull...