The Olive Tree Community

We went to church this evening and the boys stayed with us instead of going into the nursery to play. I wasn't sure if they would be able to sit still the entire time, but I really want them to start staying with us through at least part of the service, so I thought I'd try it out tonight. I came prepared with new drawing pads, a fancy new pencil case for their twistables, and fruit snacks. Our oldest sat quietly and listened to the music and part of the sermon and then drew for awhile. Our youngest fell asleep and then woke up later, cranky and annoyed after realizing he wasn't in his bed. Overall they did really well. :)

At the end of the service we partake in communion. I have not partaken because both wine and grape juice contain sulfites and eating bread is always questionable. I can only eat very basic bread, and can not have dough conditioner or any additives. I figure it would probably not be appropriate to ask while being given communion, "Do you happen to have a list of the bread ingredients on hand?" Or, "Sorry, but I'm gonna have to pass on the grape juice." I would like to hope that I wouldn't end of in the hospital after a bit of bread and a dash of juice, but it doesn't take much for me and I would prefer not to take my chances just yet. So, grumpy little one stayed with me and I asked my oldest if he would like to go with daddy to take communion. He seemed excited and intrigued, but a bit nervous as to what it involved exactly. So I explained it to him, and after making his decision he shyly walked with the papa to the front. I was totally fine up until I saw them hand him the bread and juice, and then my eyes swelled up with tears and I had to fight to contain my overflowing happiness and emotion. He looked so grown up suddenly and yet so small compared to everyone else, and in that moment I thought my heart was going to burst open.

I will never push religion onto my children. Faith is an extremely personal thing to me and although I see no harm in infant baptism, I believe ultimately that it has to be a decision made on your own to become a believer. Our oldest is fascinated by Jesus' life and the Bible, particularly the book of Revelation. Although they have read children's Bible stories and have occasionally gone to Sunday school in the past, I do not like to candy coat the Bible or dumb it down for them. I prefer to read to them straight from the Book. I want them to have a real understanding of Jesus. That he was not just an animated character with a beard and a flock of sheep, but a real radical revolutionary who changed the world. I hope that the passion my oldest has for learning more about the Bible continues to deepen his faith and brings him into a more personal relationship with God. I can only hope that our youngest, who still prefers picture books and giving gifts to his Playmobile Jesus, will also one day begin to form his own understanding and relationship with God.

More than anything, I pray that my children will try to lives their lives as Jesus did, with open arms and an open heart, a compassion and love for others that knows no limits, and a faith that is strong, passionate, and unwavering. I hope that they will follow God's calling and live a humble life that is full of purpose and meaning. I don't ever want them to live a life that isn't based on something true to them though. I pray for my children a real genuine faith, not one that belongs to me or the papa or anyone else. I hope that they ask questions, search their hearts, and seek out answers on their own to all of life's mysteries. I will be here to help guide them or answer any questions they have and each day I will continue to strive harder to live a life more closely to Jesus and try to walk more strongly in my faith. Although they have been exposed to my many flaws and witnessed as I have had to cope with struggles and questions of my own, I hope that they see that although sometimes I screw up and lose hope, that God always restores me and brings me closer to Him in the end. I hope for them a faith above all that is real and authentic, and deep and true to them in their own hearts.

I see Jesus so often in my own children, and I thank God that he is using their own lives to bring me into a closer relationship with Him.