I've gone to two meditation classes now. I arrived the first week not really knowing what to expect, but I was really shocked to find that there were only two other participants. They both had been working with the instructor for almost a year, and seemed very comfortable with the whole thing. I was nervous, and started asking a bunch of questions about technique. My personality is such, that in situations like this I assume there is a right way to do something and I need to know how to do it, so I can practice and get it right. What I'm realizing, about meditation, is there is no one way to go about it. The experience is different for everyone, and it wouldn't work any other way. This, in itself, is an obstacle that I'm having to overcome.

The first class went really well. After the half an hour,(I really thought it had only been 10 minutes.), I felt almost high. Really, really good...like nothing could faze me, and I could accomplish anything. It went away after a bit, but the feeling of calmness remained. I was really excited to go back the next week.

But by the time class rolled around again, I was having a really tough week to begin with, my mind was just not ready. I brought to much mental crap into it with me. I couldn't silence my thoughts. And I kept getting frustrated for not letting go... for just half an hour. I was struggling with myself the whole time, and when the half hour was up, this time, I felt drained and disappointed.

Later, I forgave myself, and decided I would go again next time and give it another shot. I'm hoping, with time and practice, I can learn what works for me, and what can make my time in meditation really fulfilling.

This is what I had for dinner. Strangely it wasn't very satisfying.

I'm contemplating meditation tonight. People have told me for years that I should try to meditate for relaxation and such. And for one reason or another I just haven't pursued it. After reading Eat, Pray, Love I started seriously thinking about trying it sometime. Well, an opportunity has presented itself, and tomorrow I am taking an introductory meditation class! I'm pretty excited and a bit nervous. So we'll see how it goes. :) I'm not hoping for a Zen like state quite yet, but a little inner peace would be nice.

Today I arrived home to find my Ghost Mugs from Gary the Potter waiting for me!

They are awesome, and what a super fast shipment.

Thanks Gary!! Go check out his work, and other fun stuff at Potter's Blog; he's the best!


In other news...

The meditation class has started up again, and I'm going to give it another go. Hopefully I can make it through more than 2 classes this time. :)

It's not that I didn't want to go back, it's just that I put crazy expectations on myself. And when they weren't met, I got discouraged...which, to me, defeated the whole purpose.

This time I'm letting myself off the hook, we'll see what happens.

"Mick booked two rooms in the hotel - one for himself, the other for his luggage," a source close to the singer told The Sun. "His room boasts the best view overlooking the mountains and Phousi Temple. But he then blacked out all the windows, even though the hotel is in a remote location and away from prying eyes. He clearly wanted to be at one with himself."

The source adds: "Mick used the trip to regenerate himself. He spent hours with monks in the temples and chanted with them. He practices Buddhism and meditation every day. He says it's the first thing he does when he gets up in the morning."

In the meantime, rumors continue to circulate that the Stones are planning their farewell tour. In a recent interview with Le Parisien, drummer Charlie Watts says the band will hit the road as soon as Mick and Keith Richards are up for it.

"We will resume playing whenever Mick and Keith get bored. At the moment, they're having a good time," Watts said.

Taken from here

Received this yesterday from The DailyOM. I thought it fit nicely with the whole theme of change.


August 18, 2009
Honoring Life Changes
The Wisdom of Fear

Anything worth doing will always have some fear attached to it. For example, having a baby, getting married, changing careers—all of these life changes can bring up deep fears. It helps to remember that this type of fear is good. It is your way of questioning whether you really want the new life these changes will bring. It is also a potent reminder that releasing and grieving the past is a necessary part of moving into the new.

Fear has a way of throwing us off balance, making us feel uncertain and insecure, but it is not meant to discourage us. Its purpose is to notify us that we are at the edge of our comfort zone, poised in between the old life and a new one. Whenever we face our fear, we overcome an inner obstacle and move into new and life-enhancing territory, both inside and out. The more we learn to respect and even welcome fear, the more we will be able to hear its wisdom, wisdom that will let us know that the time has come to move forward, or not. While comfort with fear is a contradiction in terms, we can learn to honor our fear, recognizing its arrival, listening to its intelligence, and respecting it as a harbinger of transformation. Indeed, it informs us that the change we are contemplating is significant, enabling us to approach it with the proper reverence.

You might wish to converse with your fear, plumbing its depths for a greater understanding of the change you are making. You could do this by sitting quietly in meditation and listening or by journaling. Writing down whatever comes up—your worries, your sadness, your excitement, your hopes—is a great way to learn about yourself through the vehicle of fear and to remember that fear almost always comes alongside anything worth doing in your life.