To Doron -- The Gift

Dang! I thought I published this last week, guess not! :) There are only so many hours in the day. We are each just one person. And although I would love to learn everything, do everything and teach it all to my kids in one day, it just isn't going to happen. One of my biggest weaknesses is getting really involved in something that I miss the bigger picture and forget about doing other needful things. I will get completely absorbed in a book or in a sewing project or in reading to my kids or playing the piano or a cleaning project (in my former life when I had time to do such things), and I will forget all about making dinner or cleaning up after myself or whatever, it makes me late for stuff all the time because I think I can do more before we have to go and then I get absorbed in it an leave later. So having a bunch of kids has forced me to prioritize better, organize better and think things through better and schedule things better. There just is so little room for error when you have a bunch of needy people dependent on you. At this point in my mothering career, we are just doing the most important basics and it takes all day long and longer. I honestly haven't folded the laundry in months, I get it washed, the laundry room is out of the way and we all just dig through to find our clothes, it is on the list to organize and give parts of it to the kids, but the time is not yet. And I wash an average of 3 loads of laundry a day and usually more with all the pee and poo blankets, towels and clothes. Today somebody forgot to turn the sink off after they washed their hands in the bathroom, so right now every towel in the house is hanging out to dry on our back deck from soaking up all the water that ran everywhere before someone noticed-- at least it was clean water from the sink and not yucky water from the toilet. Anyway, my point is that we have had to prioritize so much that we only do what is most important and for awhile that did not include taking care of myself. I have been learning that the analogy of the putting on your own oxygen mask in the airplane first and then putting it on the child once yours is secure is very true. If I am not healthy, then everything else can just go to pot, nothing will get done if I am not there to either do it or oversee it. If I am stressed, then everybody is stressed. So there were a couple days where I woke up extremely tired from getting woken in the night for various things over several days, and I decided that everybody was safe and happy doing whatever and I went back to bed and rested. When I got up, I felt tons better and got way more done than if I had tried to push through that tiredness. Also, I think I have finally internalized the fact that we are not going to accomplish everything I would like to do every day and that's OK. I need a break sometimes and the kids also need a break sometimes. As we work steadily and consistently a little bit everyday, eventually will reach our end goal. My girls play the piano even though our lessons have been sporadic. They are doing fine in algebra even though we slowed down in math sometimes. The boys finished their first year Greek book even though it took us 2 years to do so. It's OK. And we can take a break from our studies for field trips. I just used to want the kids to get as much done as possible each day, but that's not necessary. I think we are actually more efficient now because I don't hang it over our heads all the time. We work when it's time to work and we play when it's time to play. I make sure and drink my water and eat my salad before I make the kids' meals so I have energy to do so and don't eat all their food. I also let myself rest when I'm tired and acknowledge to myself how much I've done even though it doesn't look like it. I try to remember all the diapers I changed, all the books I read, all the bums I wiped and hands I washed and food I prepared and served and water I gave and children I dressed and homework I explained and songs I sang and messes I cleaned. It's good to take breaks and the kids like it too. I also love to exercise, and so I have been taking time for that about 4 times per week for 30-50 minutes. It feels good. I like this way better. Maybe the amount we do hasn't changed, but my attitude and my efficiency has. And volleyball is over so maybe we'll be home so the kids can actually do their chores again!! Balance!!