This week on the bike maybe kind of it.

Weather - it has been hitting the mid 90°s all week until today. And has been sunny, some days more humid than others. I need an adaptive overnight setting on the AC so it tracks one or two degrees cooler than ambient so I don't wake up with the system saying "we're not going to move any air and make it gross because it is now cooler and super humid outside than inside" but thanks to modern technology and a free wifi thermostat i can pull it up on my ancient little phone and dial it down a degree or two and boom, ah sleeping much better.

And this week more than any i've been asked "I can't believe you rode in today!"

Use that as an indicator is probably better than the weather as to how adverse it is.

Smackdown on Tuesday night. It was hot.

Light turnout and that was perfect. No Bailey, Wells or Kessler, we did have Alec B, Fuller, Goldberg, Jason and...  um oh Orlando showed up by the Italian bakery, was on the far side of the road and nearly got run over trying to cross and join us.

Knowing what I had planned for Wed I deliberately kept it kind of chill, full regroup, the group stays together. Strava title was that homage, the musketeer thing. All for one one for all. We went as hard as we could where we could, and we aggressively re-grouped. We weren't slow but we weren't super fast but it was a good ride. A good day on the bike. And Goldberg got to finish the ride with everyone.

Wed? July's NECX HOTM (hundo of the month) so yeah I started it in May...  gotta get a 100 miler every month until April to complete the challenge.

Gonna start getting less easy. Also we kind of picked probably not one of the best days to spend on the bike.

Strava has the stuff...  link it later maybe I will.

128.8 miles total. Down to westport and back. it was exposed. it was wikked hot in the interior, and it was pretty brutal.

But we finished.

THEN the TT last night. First night for me on the old Paramount. Left my backpack in the office because there was a chance of no car being there. Rode there and home wearing that aero helmet that is too small, that was pretty tortuous. 14 people showed up. Golberg and Dean did the timing. Had a few challenges, Wells got lost, his phone died and some people freaked out a bit. But he turned up at home okay.

My legs were hurting, while i PR'd on Brown on the way there, it was a struggle and felt like I could have been going faster.

Garber started only 2 min behind me and surprisingly didn't catch me until part way down Reynolds. I faded hard but not hard enough for Kessler to catch me, he could see me but never caught me so that was super cool..

I wasn't sub-19 but hey I rode 128.8 miles in the heat yesterday and def didn't eat enough food wed night or during the day on thursday. could have really actually used an extra heaping pile of carbs.

But next week. We'll see what happens. It'll be fun. We'll have a good time and now I've gotta race back home to hang out with the kid and her friend (sleep-over tonight but she has big plans for today and tomorrow morning).

super brief... instagram has a bit more...  strava...

i'll write em up this afternoon if they are doing their thing and I put my feet up and chill for a precious blessed minute.

heddwch
G

As much as I hate to say, i think there's some brilliant shit in the Kung Fu Panda series. 3 is really good.

And actually kind of timely for me, that or maybe if I go back and watch the others i'll find the message in there too. But I think kind of not, but hey, it matters not much really.

Not going to review the movie.

"if you only do what you can do you'll never be more than you are, now."

got some sleep, a little, woke up late, always good but late was 7:20...  let the dogs out, made coffee (more to stave off headache than to wake up with) and got back in bed.

I could, I suppose ride into the shop build a couple more and head home but I could just stay here, sleep/rest/nap/relax until the kid wakes up (double movie feature at home last night) and then get on with what we need to get done on a sunday. Just two of us means we gotta get it all done.

No big ride today, or yesterday, def a low ride week. But that's okay, there was some good intensity. No racing though, kind of jealous of all the racers to be honest. But it is what it is. And hey I ain't got time for the racing stuff yet.

But next week should be better mileage and saddle time wise. We've got smackdown on Tuesday, planning a Hundo with Goldberg on Wednesday (come hang out, we're headed down to Westport and that area - no not going over the Mt Hope bridge, going the freetown forest route) with the TT the day after. Sounds either good or really dumb but I know I need to be better rested this week than I was last week. Something's gotta give. Something's gotta change.

Maybe. Or I just need to take today off. Have to pick up E and K from the bus stop late afternoon today, then we can go back to sort of on schedule-ish, got a good bit of work to do around here still. Need to probably use vacation days more than one at a time and have a real break. But that's a bit uncertain as to when it will happen. Which bugs me a bit but also, I know i need it. Need to get the van fixed, rear brakes and EGR valve, just gotta order the parts... and make a window of time to do it in.

Why? For What? I dunno. dark cloud of politics is still scary, but hey this is a plutocratic country anyway, i should just get used to that...

July is almost over, August goes by in a blink, soon School is back in session...  and the next chapter will start.

for now i'm going back to bed, i'm tired.

heddwch
G

Loosely adapted from a recipe in a book...

Made some cilantro lemon habanero mayo to go with our bacon tomatillo fish tacos tonight. Yummy. #cookingwiththekid

A photo posted by geoff (@ge_willi) on Jul 23, 2016 at 1:45pm PDT

2 tablespoons Dijon Mustard
half of a bunch (roughly 1/2 cup packed chopped) Cilantro
1 large green de-seeded Habanero (use two if you want it spicier this is milder than anticipated with just one)
2 egg yolks
Juice of 1/2 of a lemon
1/2 teaspoon salt

Blend that stuff until smooth-ish but don't over blend.

Then Turn blender on and SLOWLY drizzle 3/4 cup super good olive oil in (the slower the better for proper mayo)

Recipe says it'll keep for two days, I'm not sure how much will be left after tonight.

We're going to put it on some fish (cod) tacos

Fish is going to be at RT (room temp) and patted dry and coated with chili powder and pan fried in Bacon fat, served on Corn tortillas with:
bacon
fresh chopped tomatillos
radish slices
habanero mayo
caramelized onion rings
fresh cilantro
shredded swiss chard leaves
and for me some more fresh chopped (with seeds) Habanero peppers


so ya figured it out yet? well, the swiss chard is the "lettuce", and instead of tomatoes we're using tomatillos (kid doesn't really like tomatoes), and bacon, duh, this mayo, all piled onto some corn tortillas

If I can hold off enough after assembling a few of them i'll probably add that photo in here too... or just on the 'gram.

heddwch
G

i shouldn't write about serious politics stuff after drinking a few tall boys while watching movie and  picking up themes and memes on faceplace and jabbering on twitter.

was gonna get up early, but didn't set alarm. 7am is early enough....

currently wanting to go back to sleep but really just waiting for coffee.

then i get on the bike, ride in, build bikes, then head home about noon, just a half day...to make a full day, then we run around getting shit done all afternoon.

gonna see about maybe not getting into it about the politics but man...  obviously it is bothering me...

gotta drink the coffee and get on the bike...

not get back into bed and sleep till noon like i feel like i can because i'm so tired.

heddwch
g

friends who think Trump is the answer, friends who think Hillary is the right choice, now more friends who are all about Johnson, or Stein...

NONE OF THE ABOVE.....

I want Bernie.

I want to vote for Bernie.

Sure, Hillary is the safest option but it sucks, she's horrible but the horrible choice among the choices...

If you think Trump doesn't sound like Hitler you're probably white and probably afraid of what might happen if you lived life like a cyclist, constantly in fear of your life.

Johnson? The libertarian cat analogy doesn't hold water well...  cats do really fucking well on their own, it is just everyone else suffers if they are successful...  making cats work on their own is possible but godamn we're not set up like that.

Stein? yeah.. sorry, not buying it...

Bernie...  why the fuck does he have to have done everything right his whole fucking life, worked for what is right. yet the Hillary machine has decided he's not wanted in the corporate party.

Because he'd destroy the party by bringing in all the people who they've lost over the years.

Here's the deal.



media, pundits, people, don't know what to do w/o an enemy. DNC RNC is there a difference other than yeah, if you don't know the difference... then what?

if Someone other than Hillary (big bad corporate US) or Trump (white racists aka evil empire scared people unite)

but people don't get it? do they?

"if you only do what you can do you'll never be more than you are, now."

don't make any changes, shit's fine the way it is now, or not?

I'm sad because i saw it, the option open. Briefly. Johnson and Stein aren't the same. My state's gonna vote blue no matter what so does it matter? me here? no not really. so then what?

I've said it before, it scares the crap out of me. How can anyone legitimately support Hillary if you're not a white protected class who will not be affected by how the election goes? Don't get me wrong, Trump's bad all the way around unless you want to see the rise of the fourth Reich, and in that case he's great.

but yeah - who the fuck cares. CNN/MSNBC/FOX will make sure that the one they want elected will be elected... and we're all plebes in the scheme of things. Worse than plebes, pawns... manipulated by the puppet string holders, aka the CEOs... the exploiters.

Hmmm i've used that word before maybe...

i'm tired, my wife's out of town, i'm ready to crack another beer, and that's all really not good news if you are me...  because you aren't me and you're going to judge me for posting this and i'm guessing going to be unsympathetic because probably you're a Hillary supported and aren't any better than a Trump supporter in your logic fo such and hey...  i have to stop caring at some point.

blocking me on twitter is the first step to unleashing the unbridled honestly...  and don't worry, everyone else can block me, i probably won't notice, unless you sent me a DM just before you block me so when I reply to it I can't and start to wonder why.

clarity...

openness...

life...

blocking's not a problem, i blocked solobreak for a good god danm while... different story and different reasons.... different logic and super long build up, not hot point moment...

but hey... what did that movie say tonight?

"if you only do what you can do you'll never be more than you are, now."

i strive constantly to do more...  was challenged today, "don't you get tired of this all?" my response: "No, i fucking love this shit, honestly and totally." under my breath i said, i wish i got paid at a level comenserate with my knowledge, skills, experience, and all that but no, that 'LEVEL' is reserved for those who play the game i refuse to play.

congrats. happy you're playing the game and kicking the rest of us in the nuts..

bad night? nah, good night, you don't want to hear me on a bad night...

maybe you have, if you've read this before I've woken up and fixed it all....

not going to say what's in my head...  storm seems to have passed...

not nearly enough beer is consumed (i haven't lost count yet and they are low ABV beverages extra bad/good) and sleep needs to happen...

and the storm i missed from having the windows closed and the AC on? just about past us...  Zzzzzz

Tomorrow is a new day, washed clean. Let us see what it brings.... oh right. i'm getting up early and going to work...

heddwch
G

More later, short version? first the gram post from right after the ride

Skinny tubes are aero, right? I need to find someone who can fix the original fork one of these days. Official 2016 debut as TT bike, traffic made it impossible to get to the #PVDvelo TT in Rehoboth from here in time. And @weebikeshop @ivan_murat had set up this course and I was here, and despite the super strong wind and the heat I gave it my best shot, did two in as row to make it comparable to the other course length. Damn hot though, I'm cooked.

A photo posted by geoff (@ge_willi) on Jul 21, 2016 at 4:03pm PDT

Traffic was a royal cluster and there was no getting kid to Soccer at WWIS North Kingston, and traffic was twice as bad going back north. I'd never have made it for the start and would ahve been stressed the whole time. So i picked no stress, high winds and warm temps and did the WeeBike gran prix... finally, kind of wanted to make a go at getting the KOM from the guy who's in Cali, but the winds and my slowness kind of only got me w/in 20ish seconds, oh well, next time maybe.

but thinking while driving in to get kid home...

and that's never a good thing...

esp when i start thinking about what i was thinking about but as a total deflection, once I got home and sat down for a minute to relax before starting dinner, i checked into the twitters and faceplaces and realized how much quieter my twitter feed has been. When chatty mc chatterbox blocks you, shit gets chill. It bugged me for a while, now? getting used to it. change ain't easy but sometimes it isn't bad.

The thinking though isn't good, but i'm also tired, strung out, and burnt out, with no good end in sight and again, maybe no vacation again. Not that it is ever easy to see, but hey glad for people can take them, but vacations seem to be these very much in your face reminder of the differences.

I am me, no one else...  i'm currently skeptical that i'll beat last week time at the TT tonorrow night, even with the TT rig.

we'll see...

about everything...

and shit - i just dozed off...  damnit...  10:1 odds I'll be wide awake from 9:30-midnight despite just wanting to sleep, and just now falling asleep.

Dinner.. gotta cook the foods...

heddwch
G

So yeah I wrote about it already. But I dunno, kind of want to hit it one more time when I'm not a couple beers deep and tired. However, I'm STILL stupid tired. Need to maybe start going to bed earlier but the current schedule is really messing with that. Week long evening soccer for the kid is totally tweaking everything but she's having fun and learning a bit and getting touches so that all good and worth it. I'll sleep sometime. Maybe. Also, yesterday did NOT feel like Tuesday, felt more like a Thursday, maybe likely because I worked Saturday AND Sunday this week.

Okay so writing and eating didn't work so well. But I finished eating and am back at writing, and avoiding emails for a few more minutes. I think there's some suggestion to not work non-stop, taking a break during the day isn't the worst thing and I can't fathom clicking on faceplace, twitter isn't much better lately, although a little better. At least in the twitter feed the important shit is mixed in with the deliberately miss-leading/distracting shit.

Tuesday Smackdown, right...  Kyle's last ride. He had a big gathering at his place on Sunday, I stopped in to say hey on my way home, but with a trailer full of groceries, dinner to make and an impending storm I moved on quickly. Caught some amazing images with the phone, put them on instagram of course.

pretty awesome tho

It is late, i'm tired, we killed Dr, Flat's array of La Fin du Monde w/o the frenchy (because he's not belgian and too good to hang out or ride with us now i suppose, or he already said his goodbyes like David B did on sunday - and me just before that f'n INSANE STORM (check the instagram dude)) shit...  too many ()())((()()()(

wooops...

so clif notes... #oldmanwords

We gathered, I felt like shit, Chris Bailey showed up at last minute, but before the David's did, the fast one and the old one (they are both really f'n fast - also the old one is super good friends with Catherine Sterling so that's an automatic absolute total free card - also - i know him from somewhere, not sure where, when or what but he's way too familiar just to feel familiar...  gotta figure that shit out, but first gotta get fast enough to hang long enough......that tiny guy is fast, also the young fast one is respectful AND fast and humble and smart and has his shit together, no faulting on either case.

I haven't slept well in a great handful of days, maybe the central air and the outside cooling off and it not cooling it off and i dunno, or other factors.

Top it off - just before i headed out i got a text "the van is doing the helicopter thing and the brakes are squealing and it is really bad" AWESOME NOW I'M WORRIED ABOUT THEM GETTING HOME AND WHAT I HAVE TO DO OVER THE NEXT COUPLE DAYS ON TOP OF EVERYTHING ELSE!

Fuuuuck...

And i yes - bad sleep, food not bad today but was hungry after lunch and ate my pre-ride snack too early and then ate emergency food stash way too early and then forgot to suck down a sugar gel just before the ride like i planned (distracted by the Davids and that smooth power house that Chris Bailey is, man i wish he'd go back to riding that heavy aluminum specialized he has)...

it went as it went....  i was conservative but still got popped on Pine. Caught back on with Greve and Kyle (last ride) on Homestead traded pulls early with Bailey on Rocky Hill before being absolutely spit the fuck out the back, but I felt good pulling but legs decided, yeah fuck you asshole. And while I dragged them up at a decent clip, when Bailey dragged everyone past me, poof - magic gone.

Bottom of Rocky HIll with Fuller, okay, fuck this where are those assholes. Hammer down, fuck recovery lets pedal, no one... where the fuck are they...  turn on to River, WHERE DID FULLER GO (tendon issue - totally forgivable) damnit... power up Hillside OH HEY THERE THEY ARE..  get close...  and then they go up the hill and I don't go up the hill as fast but I give it everything.

And they disappear.
and I find them at the stopsign. Not on Pine fortunately, not fucking with traffic more than a dozen cyclists can. Yeah we had 12 at roll out. Missing Orlando meant there was zero aggravation or aggression or concern for people acting like squirrels on crack with a death wish.

Then we head back and crush it down walker again, same time as Fox send off time, but Colby gets scored first despite Kyle going clear before the end of the segment (maybe I need to go back and check it).

we rolled back into town, i gather my stuff from the office and rolled down hill to Dr Flats. We had beers, we talked, the kids left to get ice cream and I headed home discussing the week/options/year/TT/life with Goldberg.

You gotta love Goldberg. He's literally the best. Literally. Get to know him, you'll agree.

Fox is pretty solid but he left for Seattle and well - we'll leave it at that, he's obviously not tough enough to hang out in New England. He had to move to the land of the Sea Chickens...  good luck with that mofo.

I really hope next week my legs come around for smackdown. BUT FUCK THAT SHIT

we have TT ON THURSDAY....  damn I wish I could re-wind a couple years, thems TT days were the best ever freaking imaginable... possible....  and ... nvm

Bailey pointed out though, that w/o all that off bike emotion, struggle, the pedalin would be less meaningful.

Life's wikked fucked up.

"we can choose facism or we can choose not to change, but we can't seemingly choose to change because neither of the other two choices will allow anyone to actually choose...."

If you choose not to change just because not changing gets you Bill Clinton's wife in office doesn't mean you're a good person, it just means you are just as bad as Trump's supporters, but for different less bigoted reasons. Not better though. don't delude yourself. First horse to the first post doesn't always win eh? But some how this race was rigged and now we are here. and I shouldn't say much about it but I will..

because there are too many who stand to lose too much because of those who decided to vote for privelage and legacy, no right and what's needed.

Butterfly effect may just make some shitty ass butter but fuck it, maybe some good comes of it.

don't make me delete this shit in the morning....

smackdown was tough, i'm def failing in the getting good sleep department, def failing in the mental stability one too, def not as relaxed and able to focus on pedaling as usual..  but it was still good and we'll miss Kyle, but maybe not as much as Fox....

and so much for clif notes...

but then if i hadn't deleted massive amounts of words well... this would be a clif not version....

so
many
words
deleted....

you have no idea...

or maybe you have an idea...

but it is probably wrong, but hey it seems right in your head now...  and that's valid so we'll go with it.

anyone have a beer? the Fin Du Monde was a long time ago, i have a hankering for a bit more... but life is funny like that, you want more? ha, try going w/o for an indeterminate length, or at least until we've decided we're done torturing you...

life...

i'm done... more Wu-Tang tomorrow on the sound track

heddwch
G

There's a pretty complicated back story.

But I really wanted to have this TT series be USAC sanctioned, but well, life, right? $200 late fee + each day + everything was just going to be too much also? Who knows how many will show up.  A year off is a big deal in the short memories.

Graham Garber has been doing this TT for longer than I have, he was here when Zoe was racing it and we were finishing at the VFW (I did it a handful of times that year), and Brad and Zoe were incredibly supportive and encouraging.

Kipp would come out and crush it. Jonny FUCKING BOLD would should up, Kevin Hines, and most of the fast guys around have laid down numbers on this course over the years.

Bringing it back made sense.

Bandit is my style, it seems. CX TT whatever...  I do bandit better but still have huge respect for organizing body but the rules make them tough to work with sometimes when you have no idea how to work with them and when you ask you get no help. So. Next year? I think we'll do it sanctioned... this year? F'N BANDIT.

I do bandit okay i guess.

But I don't do it alone, can't do it alone. Goldberg came through, Deano also, huge support and timing and those guys crushed the results, so good, so much appreciation so much thanks.

So much unprepared for me, ate too late, but not badly. it was hot, the bike was slow, bars too wide, wind too cross to use invisible aero bars, so slow. But still not so slow, and with Eian, Jonathan and David K beating me in the cannibal category? TOTALLY FINE WITH IT.

So humid. So hot.

I had the cateye bike computer i won at one of the Bikeworks run TTs and i kept looking at the avg speed and suffering, so slow. but tonight was the best/least differential at the Reynolds turn. Usually I hit that turn and whatever the avg speed is I lose 3-5 mph at the finish. Today? Hit the turn with 24.8 MPH avg and finished at 23.8 mph, best differential ever, at least that I can remember.

Yes, Reynolds has been repaved, no chip/seal, it is smooooooooth Asphalt. Fresh. So nice.

But it is still all uphill and it still sucks.

Eian, started behind me, not in sight from the quick glance as I turned onto Reynolds but man, cresting the top of the hill on Peck? he was there, shit. But he didn't pass me until we hit 118 and he hit it HARD and blew by me. Major hat tip to him, nice job.

I was first off the line, first to start. I've never started first at this thing. Never not had someone up the road. But tonight? When I started sorting the riders, Eian and Jonathan were the equals, and Eian bested JD but not by much and my guess for finishing times was actually pretty damn good for everyone but me. I thought I'd turn a 22. I turned a 20:34 or something. TOTALLY HAPPY with that.

Next week? Maybe I'll have the Paramount ready to go. This morning I tried but couldn't find my 8sp cassette. Riding out alone for a while then Jonathan caught up to me and we were talking and in talking I realized I think the cassette is still on the trainer wheel I used at NBX for the indoor series. Would explain why I couldn't find it this morning.

Next week I'll try the TT w/o 46cm wide bars, CX long chainstays and big fat non-aero tubed frame.

at least that's the plan. we'll see how it goes between now and then.

But momentum, spread the word, show up, race, we'll score you if we can and you'll have the motivation to compete against everyone there and I'll get the luxury of deciding the start times, at least if you didn't show up the week before when we use that to sort the start order.

I'd love to see Solobreak bring his TT stuff down, anyone else not too afraid to measure up against the clock?

The race of truth.

Truely...

I broke down, so humid, turned on the Central Air. First time this summer. Tomorrow is gonna be a scorcher and tonight it is ball breaking humid. And the 14th...

giving in to the luxury of central air, but with the bummer of the duct work being set up for heat, not AC meaning it kind of sucks for AC, but hey, AC better than no AC, esp when it gets MD swamp ass around here.

So... hey, Smackdown is on Tuesdays, maybe you want to join in? India Point Park 5:30....  Thursdays? TT? rehoboth 6pm... but i think most people are way too much of a wuss to line up for a TT...  they suck, they are hard, no excuses ever work...  come prove me wrong.

heddwch
G

words, lots building up,

what now

interesting night

cooked dinner,
waiting now...

fingers on fire, ghost pepper end of the scale habanero, wiped sweat off eyebrows too many times...

words to say, but solobreak, yeah emotions, so dumb, by acknowledge them...

if but for th new realization that they're just freaking brain science and emotions are pretty easily explained...

if you get how the shit works...

good luck knucklehads...

go find your rare pokey mommy, ok?

oh, if the weather doesn't screw me like everyone else, well...  we'll have TT tomorrow night at 6pm, old Bikeworks course...

so many heavy hitters and fast kids showed up. It was awesome.

it was also brutally hard.

Most of the time initiating and setting pace with co-old guy who's faster than me CB...  was great and then he hit a bump and his cervelo made a weird crack noise and i went to take over and someone went around both of us...  and then BLEW through the stop sign.

Oh, sure, no cars were coming, no big deal, but if there was a car coming that guy would have been a hood ornament with his fancy Zipps and fancy frame.

Woodward was fast. Prospect was pretty pedestrian, We rolled down Broad/Jacob me coasting and fat ass rolling over 30 mph w/o pedaling in the lead, and then the kid Jonathan attacks at the bottom heading towards the townline that Brier splatted himself with the worn out cleats, and we sort of chilled and let him go sort of. Bailey took up the chase, maybe David or BG or i dunno someone else too. Hit Pine?

Ouchymotherfucker.

Sonsofbitches kind of crushed it.

But i dangled just off but sort of close enough to lead the charge from the danglers... we rejoined a 4 wide road hog gaggle of the fast guys chit chatting on Homestead.

And then Rocky Mother Fucking Hill.

The kids hit it hard, I was 3rd wheel into the turn and it felt not terrible, then second then, fuck it we're going downhill and i'm coasting faster than the little guy pedaling in front of me so I might as well pass him and drag everyone along in my draft....

and then it pitches up...  I'm in contact but paying for early efforts. drift back...  we get close to the attack point, Burke asks if I want a lead out, I admit my legs are hosed and that maybe he should lead out the kid Jonathan....  He jumps but Justin C is listening and gets on the wheel before Jonathan can and Burke drags him up and JC crushes the sprint. It was good, it was fun and I got kind of dangled again. Shocking.

Regrouped at the bottom, lost a handful, a good handful with the Rocky Hill blast...  I took the lead when I finally got back to them and held a steady tempo in the 20-22 range up to the base of Hillside...  Then KABLAM

the attacks happened and I did the big guy thing of holding my own fucking tempo, as fast as I can go up but sustained in a i got a second climb soon manner. Could I have gone faster? Maybe, but man it didn't feel like it. Maybe if i was motivated by something not there... I'd said re-group at the stop sign.

I was going so slow up the second half that Kyle and his gang of awesome people (brent, greve, mary, whoeverelse i forget) caught me and we all coalesced on Pine.

Fancy Audi wants to pass, I shout SINGLE UP, and not one motherfucker who's 2 wide does shit. Greve Orlando, I dunno who else, 2 wide and WIDE and we're going slow and I'm palpably feeling the animosity we're creating.

Eventually we crest the hill - there's no cars coming so I sit up and wave Audi guy past despite the idiots who decided that the world exists for themselves and yeah - grumble... and I go to the front, and drag everyone up to Read, oncoming car, we wait, then head down my favorite stretch.

Last week though Fox got me on the segment by enough seconds to make a difference on Strava and that's aggravating but also cool, he's gone. But given the firepower tonight I decided to tone it back on that section, save it for the next one, Bailey liked that idea, why dump so many watts?  We chilled, we rolled on through, and lined up for the final stretch on walked and Bailey fucking LIT IT UP.

ZOOM

Oh shit - i latched on... and shortly he peeled off...  so i drop every watt saved and burn through the matchbook and pull off and got promptly dropped, but wound up just setting my own tempo and not feeling bad about that interval/effort.

And we rolled back in grand style,

to the new start point

where there were markedly few Poke your Mom, OK? players than when we rolled out.

It kind of sucked being slow as I was, but not being the slowest and having some legs now and then even with the equipment handicap, i suppose not so terrible.

Progress...  i guess...

we're doing the motherfucking TT on Thursday, so show up for that.

Tonight was good. 14 people at the start which is pretty big for us, we picked up a 15th, lost one or two somewhere along the way, maybe more, I dunno, but it really wound up being a great night on the bike.

A group ride with rules and a loud big slow pissed off asshole yelling at people who were fucking up.

aka order was demanded...

or something...

a good night...  dinner of salad and beer maybe not quite enough....  still hungry but not really hungry, sort of ambiguous, am i hungry? i dunno i could eat, but what? i dunno, does that mean i'm not really hungry? maybe, have some water and go to sleep knucklehead.

next up... whatever is next up...

whatever that brings...

oh the Bandit TT... that's what's up.

6pm Tremont street, the old bikeworks course, we're making it happen, i guess maybe i'm just not cut out for doing the whole sanctioning body thing, more of a bandit race kind of person...

show up and race yourself. we'll give you a time and rank you, but for nothing more than practice for ourselves...  and for incentivizing y'all to do a nice 8 mile TT, for 4 weeks, maybe even having some momento to take as being fastest or slowest or just there all the time. Don't worry, i'm ineligable this time, no double bottle of champagne for just showing up. Not sure i actually even ever drank it, may still be at my brother's... brunch and mimosas and contributions and probably only if maybe had a sip of the bottle. All for the best. Perhaps.

gotta make it happen...  one way or the motherfucking other...

now maybe sleep?

or complain about the Okay Go Poke your mom zombies that are making the bike path menacingly dangerous?

or be grateful that my kids aren't hooked on it?

tomorrow's gonna kind of suck by maybe there will be something redeeming about it that I can find.

probably easier to find that if i stop writing and actually go to sleep... or try to...

or go find something to eat...

hmmm

best probably to end the blog post before i go on about Lucky's or something...

heddwch
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admitting that i'm pretty much a failure at most everything, well so maybe I'm also mostly resigned to having higher aspirations than I can attain.

Too many Outrageous goals, not enough realistic goals, and zero easily attainable goals.

Outrageous goal that hit the dust? USAC sanctioned TT...

oh well...

next year, at least i have dates and will be better at getting it all lined up and organized at that point, now that i've just gone through the list of shit that needs to happen, reaching out to the LA was good but when i asked about deadlines and help i kind of got nothing useful regarding deadlines or what needed to happen - but that's okay, I probably asked the questions wrong or was given the assumption that I knew more than I do. All my fault.

But hey. Gotta do the gd TT anyway right? Line that shit up, even if we just Strava score it.

Yesterday i just gave up, so tired, needed to go shopping, rode bike in with trailer instead of working at the shop down in Warwick again. Kind of sucks but kind of needed the break.

Fewest miles/week in a long time. Fewest hours too. But also some decent ones. good quality (well until i hit the wall saturday night riding home).

This week's gonna be tough but hopefully new start location for the Smackdown works and hopefully we can get started with the TT this week.

or not...

or

i should probably have eaten lunch instead of writing.

oops

heddwch
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more and more, wind up writing late at night.

And that's not a good thing. But then there are mountains of things as smart as me writing right now.
like bringing up politics
watching how keen people are pretty on justifying their allegiance to the dem party's selected heir no matter what sort of conspiracy bullshit has happened to rig the delegate vote, or how they never really ever bring up any policies or what this one brings, as in none of the issues matter and very sounding like the other party. Funny thing is, those who are rabidly socially promoting or defending that one really don't sound any different than those supporting the guy wearing a weave on his head. Pretty much no different.

Yeah it still bugs the ever living shit out of me. And yeah shouldn't write about it but...  i am eh?

Don't care, well i do, or I wouldn't say anything. Totally care about something else but have laid low for a while about it I guess. What else?

Sugar,

Sure, I've identified recently that is has a place in sprinter/CX training/racing but for the baseline diet? Well you know i've been railing against sugar for how long? YOGURT WARS BITCHES, that NH company who over sweetens everything who's owned by Dannon yeah, remember way back when? If yogurt is good why do you need to add soda level amount of sugar to it? I like it plain, if you don't like it plain well fuck off and don't eat it. But funny thing is, take sugar out, or like Necco found out, take artificial coloring out (hell even leaving sugar in there) and people stop buying it. And to me? That's a fucking WIN. but companies don't make as much money when people don't buy as much so that's kind of not good.

And hey remember that anti-cancer book? the one with menus that sound a whole hell of an awful lot like what Tim Noakes and Taubes have been saying for years? The point that i've been making for 8-9? (Solobreak can probably give you a date without even looking it up) is that the increase of cancer and the rise of type 2 diabetes are linked.

But, yeah, I know, I'm punch you in your face confrontational, w/o ever laying a hand on anyone, polarizing, i remember too much, see too much, connect the dots too well. Yeah no, you can't both ask me nearly the same questions w/in an hour of each other and expect me not to make the connection.

I could barely keep my eyes open when I got home tonight. I shoveled food into my mouth, nearly passed out, then turned on rabbit ear TV, watched the end of the last boy scout, and all of Mercury Rising. A couple of stinker 90s films from Bruce W's prime, and yeah, in his prime good films, nah better unedited, but so 90s and so actually topical for today.

but i guess only topical if you're being blind to the conspiracy...

or not, i'm just an unhappy middle age white dude, working his ass off

At least my storyline will be easy to write. Oh wait, not really...

I've gone from top 20 in the country participating in the NBC to top 100? fuck, what a slide man...

and hey, btw, it sucks.

can i re-do the month of May? maybe starting next week? oh wait, no, maybe the week after...  nvm...  month out...  booked... maybe August? I can dream, no, wait. They involve stuff about riding with... yeah nope, no dreaming.

But I can still ride. I can still ride even when i'm wishing i'd brought more lunch while trying to ride back home totally cracked.

I could say I don't give a shit who reads this, I could say that, it might be true, but probably isn't, but also? Totally don't care.

and that's kind of the point, but also not the point, point is to get it out of my head, take a snapshot of the state of the brain, document. FOR science bitches... or because science or because I dunno.

why bother otherwise?

I've never had anything worthwhile to talk about before, to say, nothing worth anyone's time more than just being entertained by the creepy tall guy in the corner who's being quiet and unknowingly staring at people.

on display...  how can you not be as freakish as i am?

latest shake up at the bike shop has me a bit worried to be honest... not that anyone would care, of if they did could do anything about or, would be more than like "shit sorry, life sucks i don't control the purse, good luck"

and yet i'm awake after nearly passing out at 7pm....

was wide awake from 4:40 until 6:30, slept really well until 8 then tossed guiltily knowing i had intended to leave the house at 8:30 to go to work, but didn't get out of here till much later, but still got enough done to make it worth riding over, offer is open to head back today, contemplating driving, but then when do I ride, probably as soon as I wake up, if i get up early enough, and then it would be a solo ride...

I'd keep rambling...

but to what end?

#onelove #ridingbikes
heddwch
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Cruising back final 8 min suffer session done, I felt awesome.

Felt good.

Just lost in the music, the pain, the inability to go more than 12 mph into the wind shelled kind of good.

And dancing. How do you dance when you're pedaling? with your upper body, and Tiesto's Club Life always has good danceable tracks.

of course i forgot that i had put A.C. Reed's 'These Blues are Killing Me' as an rest track between Metallica's 'The End of the Line' and Voodoo & Serano's 'Blood Is Pumpin' (Club Mix)'

oof

But man so much better. So it was only an hour, Three ~8 min sessions that i hope were kind of consistent, i haven't looked at the data yet, but I did record the data. It wasn't blistering fast but I was on the slow wheels on the black blue and there was a very light tailwind in one direction and well yeah the opposite in the other.

YES - i know terrible, doing intervals on the bike path.  HORRIBLE.  Except it had just rained, and super humid. And well, true to form the path was almost empty, a few very fit looking women intently running, a few dudes matching the same description, one clueless chinese couple, and a few other regular walkers and commuters. Not bad.

And it felt good.

And I came home and made a Tahini dressing for the salad for dinner.

1/2 lemon, juiced and zest microplaned off
1" ginger root (microplaned into pulpy deliciousness)
3 good size cloves of garlic
equal parts:
Balsamic, Org. Apple Cider, Org. seasoned Rice Vinegars. (1-2 tablespoones each if i was going to guess)
2-4 tablespoons (until it looks good) of Organic Shoyu sauce
Fresh ground black pepper (1 teaspoon)
1/2-1 teaspoon of mustard powder (bind the oils with the other stuff)

Put all that in screw top container and shake the everliving shit out of it. I mean seriously Shake it until it is totally consistently homogenous.

then add
1/4-1/2 cup Tahini
and then add some kick ass olive oil (i am totally going for the best $/flavor and the 365 brand crushes it)

how much? Until the Tahini/oilve oil layer is about 60% total volume.

Put the cap back on the jar and shake the ever loving shit out of it again. And then do it again.

and serve over whatever you want, salad, chicken, steak, it will even make ditchweed the most delicious meal of the day. Don't take my word for it, try it yourself, or if you're culinarily challenged cut and paste the important parts and hand it to your designated cooking person and let them make some magic for you.
...

And yeah so much heavy shit coming down... in the midst of it I haven't been able to work on the collection from my Dad on the SEM/Nanoscape stuff, haven't been able to go for a long all day ride much less commute to work on the bike or even take the long way in, AND the TT is hanging over my head, gotta make that happen too.

That's what's probably getting to me most, that and phone totally absolutely fucking with me at the wrong times. It is working totally good when I don't really need it and when I need to rely on it (like picking up my daughter) it completely fucking flakes and that's just not cool, but fathers and daughters aren't supposed to have smooth good relationships between her age of what 14-24? or something? I dunno, just guessing. And the phone issues are definitely helping work on that.

The collection though. I have a few images that are scheduled to post on nanoscape tomorrow...  more and more artist friends keep showing up with .net profiles...  maybe .com ain't all it is made up to be, which means I need to find time to work on the page and get shit together.

When though? I dunno.

I never could juggle very well at least in the literal sense...  but man, this performance of keeping all these objects from hitting the ground probably would impress the most cynical critic, but then probably not, because that's me and i'm kind of thinking i could do better.

Goddamn i'm gonna mix Fox, but he was right, David B has enough positive mental attitude to give Fox 50% of it and me 50% and still have enough left over to be the most positive motherfucker you'll ever meet. And that's not taking away anything from the intensely amazing GOLDBERG, and yes Cutler and all the single track between there and the Washington Square Tavern that day are probably still echoing me shouting 'GOLDBERG'

I am one lucky SOB, but the alignment of everything never feels like it...  but that's probably me being a hyper critical motherfucker who's not willing to settle for this bullshit the establishment is pulling... or something....  but it doesn't matter, mostly because there was at one point the glimpse of perfection, the glimpse at everything lining up....  I saw what maybe could have been, could be, because i'm me, i had to be unselfish and was allowed to be exploited. To be honest another fear is the hope that my spidy senses are telling me something that isn't correct...  but that's another tale for another day...

Bike pedaling is good, and while i was dancing to the tunes on the bike path after the rain...  I realized....

I really like bikes, and I really like turning wrenches on bikes and I really like riding them...  even if I completely suck and may never ever finish on the lead lap at nationals, if I ever finish another one....  Would have been kind of cool if the juiced up roid rage Feldman who hasn't made an appearance recently didn't lap me at the first one (how many did lap me? maybe just him, i was so traumatized by his abject assholeness hostility i didn't notice anyone else).

I should head over to Lucky's in EP and raise a pint in honor of Fox, and the waitress we had, but yeah that's not happening.

So I'm gonna wash the grime off and maybe just f'n sleep. Or not.

Maybe I'll write more tomorrow, or maybe not.

Who knows. I want to know what book it was I read, and then loaned to my HS gf with the words "this book is more me than anything I've ever read" which book? I dunno, but it was in the pile she gave me to put in the car just before she broke up with me on a day off...  when I was working full days but with the commutes I was tied up 14+ hrs a day that summer...  not good for social life I guess, or maybe there were other reasons (that i'm crazy and no one who actually gets to know me every still stays friends with me - but then that's probably a good thing - and some day I'll figure out how to deal with it.... maybe).

I don't bottle it up and pack it in very well do i. nope. but that's okay, lets have another beer, finish cooking the beans for the burritos tomorrow and maybe fall asleep way too late.... and not talk about any of this on the internet or in person ever again.

this weblog doesn't count as internet, not with as little traffic as it gets....

so yeah,

heddwch
G

on riding today,

but can't really,

feeling compelled,

knowing it will help,

so much smashy needs to happen...

Looking at the mileage totals and everything and knowing tomorrow isn't a commute to work day (stay home with kid day) ...  maybe can make something happen tomorrow.

Possibly just go out and cue up the old 3x8min playlist and do some leg smashy intervals.

This probably is going to be the lightest week, although who knows what is going to happen this weekend. Working at the PVD location looks sketchy, i don't have a bench yet and the second stand really isn't ready to go either so one stand makes it tough. Not sure how that's going to resolve itself.

But, hey, lightest week? okay, I got some sort of okay and pretty consistent hill repeat 2 min high torque low cadence work on Monday, smackdown tuesday, recovery day wednesday and some 8 min smashy now?

Not bad. But dinner is going to be late. Or we're having leftovers (totally a serious possibility).

Also phone was dead when I got home. Massive miss-communication trying to pick my daughter up because my phone is having major issues with fucking everything if anything changes (like going off wireless or trying to unlock it or whatnot) so that raised the holy crap smashy level and got asked "can you just ride without it?" NO HOW WILL I STRAVA IT I CAN'T NOT HAVE RECORD BECAUSE I'M ADDICTED TO THE DATA AND IT AUTOMATICALLY REPORTS TO NATIONAL BIKE CHALLENGE AND IF I HAD A STAND ALONE GPS DEVICE THAT I COULD UPLOAD W/O NEEDING A COMPUTER (using phone would work) THEN I COULD JUST RIDE. I didn't say that, i just said, "not really".

okay - maybe there's enough power in it now, mobile data is the big drain and that's off nearly 100% of the time. Because yeah, what's the point of having a mobile device that's dead when you need it, might as well be able to turn it on if needed but only when needed. Or something.

Man i need a whole day in the saddle on the bike away from everything. Which I shouldn't if everything was awesome and all that. But things aren't bad, and spending a day on the bike to help, well does help in lots of ways.

Just would help if I could.

smashy time

heddwch
g

#TWSS

sorry - honestly referring to how hard Smackdown was...  i'll refrain from any further comments about hardness or more appropriately lack their of, but hey par for the course as i get older and older...

Was nice, one of the young kids tonight said 45 wasn't that old.... BWAHAHAHA fuck...  I just wish I was this fast when i was young enough to do something with realizing the potential... although i don't think I had it then. It took 20 fucking years to become a cyclist and I really didn't start until I was already drinking so - do the math...  double screwed except divide that by 2 and multiply by zero to get the number of screws.

Although that math doesn't work out if you're screwed? State of my brain right now.

Shit going sideways in a hurricane...  summer round here.

Dogs freaking out with the booms, not sure what else, ever constant changing wild card schedule all summer, ever week different, can't plan for anything. How to make it all happen.

Kind of want one more beer but it is 11:10 and well...  i dunno, gonna write and stuff instead of cracking another one. Probably should NOT write and should crack another one, but then that would be smart and i've never been anything of the sort. Ever.

So many things just simmering, don't bump the stove, and increase in the flame will cause a boil over and that's messy and impossible to clean up.

Tonight? All i can say is smackdown/TT fueling? DEFINITELY gotta go with the Bagel Gourmet Burrito in PVD. The other element from '13 probably didn't hurt but maybe it was just the burrito after all?

missing miles, need miles... need lots of miles...  days of miles... but hey, wait, shit's gotta happen. Next week is already totally fucking booked and it is only Tuesday. Not sure it is really a good thing that there is only one of me, and that only I do my job. "Yay" for job security, "boo" for holyshit i have to work double when i'm there to not be there when I'm not which is weird from a support position when sometimes just being here is reading and writing and not doing much (happening less and less lately, why? -oh right- expansion, more PIs more grad students more people using the same resources...  theme repeated everywhere I know).

Smackdown, I made it work, I hung on, was given a gracious reprieve by the super fast three and allowed to re-join. We picked up a few more and had a grand old group returning and it still was tough, about puked twice, and I have an iron stomach. Effort was that intense.

Fox's farewell...  gonna miss that crafty little son-of-a-bitch more than he'll realize.

Sucks but at least got to celebrate his departure in style at Lucky's. Maybe i'll have to go back to mourn his loss. Or have a pint in his honor.

I should sleep, the one commodity that's been fleeting that i have control ovecr except i'm kind of wide awake at the moment.

At least the boom booms have subsided and the dogs are calming down. Thanks alot a-holes.

Or maybe it is my fault for having a member of the family who's terrified of the explosions, yeah, i'm sure that's it. Smash shit? yeah sounds like fun. Except i shredded my legs tonight and can't really stand well despite having no where near enough beer to make them not feel like shit, but that's sort of the balance between may and june, right?

May is frustratingly angelic and June's the devil so when you get in the arms of July you think you're in heaven...  copywrited and shit but it probably already has been said but if not, it doesn't matter.

tomorrow brings what tomorrow brings...  today is and was...  moving on...

one foot,
in front,
of,
the,
other...

heddwch
G

It is a hot one and I have a feeling there's gonna be a big showing. A handful of the local fast guys have been tricking over to our ride, and that's awesome. I just wish I was one of them.

It'll be interesting tonight. Hot temps, relatively low wind, somewhat humid.

I channeled the inner 2013 to a degree and had a bagel gourmet steak burrito for lunch (no leftovers in the house and yeah - burrito seemed fitting for the day).

We'll see what my legs have in store. Been more tired than not lately, more struggling than not lately. Kind of lost a bit, all these friends physically leaving or ghosting. Freddie said on Thursday at me trying to figure out evening "you're the most anti-social social person i've ever met"

ding ding ding

lots to talk about, no time or brain too fried or words won't come out

but now we ride...

one last time with Fox.

i'm getting older, and so is my bike, creaky and heavy and slow,,, but it is still my bike and has served me well...  well over 10k miles on this bike just since 2013, and yeah mileage is spread over a couple other bikes in not insignificant amounts but this one has born the brunt of the miles.

lets hope it can bear me a bit longer...

heddwch
G