Being an only child for a long time and then getting a sibling can be tough. 6/12 years in Zach's case. I think he may still be in shock from Miss Naia's entrance stage left. I promised myself once she was old enough, I would take him away on a mom-and-Zach-only vacation for some much needed one on one time. He's always been a fabulous travel buddy, even when he was small, so I was looking forward to the ease of roaming about with just one kid. One place he's always wanted to go and I just didn't have the energy to do with Little Force Of Nature is New York City. It's just an easy bus trip away for us, and we have lots of friends in "the city" we could visit and crash with. So away we went.








I was blown away by how easy it is to travel with just one kid. How easy it was to do anything and everything with just one kid. Of course, parents of many would never send the other kids back into the womb, we love them all madly in their own ways. But whoa. So. Much. Easier. Of course part of that is that Naia is still so little. Being on the town with just the big kid meant lovely uninterrupted conversations, no arguments, the amazing freedom of being spontaneous, and we covered so much ground so very quickly.

The NYC subway was a little intimidating at first, especially just glancing at it and comparing it visually to the Candy Land map that is the Washington DC metro. But once I got the 30 second lesson on how it works, it was a snap. Fares are half that of DC Metro, it's super fast, and very safe and easy to use. We were zipping all over Manhattan.





NYC has a reputation for being super expensive, which of course it totally can be. Crashing with friends took care of lodging. Eating simple street food with a lot of pizzas and hot dogs not only made the little boy child happy but kept food pretty cheap. Taking the subway everywhere keeps getting around affordable, and lots of walking of course. And we only did one outing that required pricey tickets. Everything else was just walking and looking and taking it all in.

Zach was impressed by the tall buildings. I grew up in Chicago, so tall buildings are old news for me. But for a kid who's grown up in wee little Annapolis, with Washington DC being the closest big town which also happens to have height restrictions on the buildings... it was quite awe inspiring. He wanted more than anything to go to the top of the Empire State Building, so up we went. 102 floors up, 1250 feet up in the air.





He loved that you could just walk a few blocks in any direction and buy pretty much anything you could ever think of. He loved seeing the swarms of yellow taxis buzzing the endless city blocks. We both loved the people watching and the little street scenes playing out all over the place.




I loved seeing my old friends. There's nothing like old friend to warm your soul. No matter how long it's been between visits, we fall back into that old pattern, comfortable and laughing. These people who know you sometimes better than you know yourself, who you can say anything to, who you can effortlessly travel and eat and wrangle kids with.

My old friend Steve and I worked together many moons ago, he and I traveled the country when I was his producer on HGTV. He has a heart of gold and the best sense of humor ever.  Zach had met him a couple of time when he was younger, but this time they got to hang out and chat more. Steve was infinitely patient with Zach's endless questions and tween-ager sass. Hanging out with Steve and his friends was such a treat, they spoiled us rotten.




Jeremy is one of my oldest friends. We were friends in high school, stayed close through college at different universities, remained friends after college when he moved out east, and I was even a groomsman in his wedding back when I was very pregnant with Naia. He had a solo weekend with his kids, and was kind enough to let us invade his beautiful apartment just off Washington Square Park. It was so heart warming seeing my old pal fall into his role as super dad. And I loved how comfortable we were wrangling our kids tag team, laughing about parenthood and adulthood and how funny this would all seem to our 16 year old selves.





The things that struck me the most about NYC were the energy and spirit of the city. I have always been biased towards Chicago because that's my hometown, but I think I get it now with New York. I get why people are drawn here. Watching guys in a park play a pick up game of basketball, watching kids interact with street performers, seeing the ebb and flow of the subway crowds, people always offering seats to older folks and those who looked like they needed it more. Talking to the folks in a corner store or cafe, hearing their passion so clearly for whatever it is they're doing. Listening to buskers perform an insane variety of music so beautifully it would bring you to tears. Glancing at iconic pieces of pop culture in real life all around you. I get it. There is such an amazing soul to this place. And while I may be too much of a nature girl to ever call NYC home, I think I feel a part of me wanting to go back again and again.

~~~I am way behind here with photos and writing about what we've been up to.  Partially it's because sometimes when life is so full and so fabulous you just have to soak it all in before you can reflect on it all. And mostly it's because we had a laptop crash, and I lost all of my photos from 2015 (ouch). Then we lost internet for about a month and I swear I became common law married to the Comcast tech guy who was on the boat nearly every day sorting out the issue. Back in the saddle and catching up now. ~~~


This fiery little soul is 5 years old now. She waits for the signs each year, watching the trees closely, waiting for them to change. As leaves fade from green to yellow and red and orange and brown, she starts asking... "Is this the day? Is it my happy birthday now? The leaves are showing me it's my birthday!"

Her big day was small but sweet. A little cake with friends, some celebrating with our immediate family. And walk with her birthday silk umbrella.








This girl is full of spark and love and curiosity and she is tough and tender all at once. She loves music and animals and little things and pushing her brother's buttons whenever she can. She is my muse and my teacher and the one who makes me laugh each and every day. Happy 5th Birthday my sweet Naia.

My kids don't know how to pose for photos. Once in a blue moon I get a looking into the lens, smile nice for grandma, sitting still like the people who come with the picture frame kind of shot. The fact is, they haven't been trained to pose.  I have seen and heard people bribe, cajole, order, beg, and even threaten their kids to pose for the camera. What kind of message are we sending kids when we tell them that they aren't good enough for a photo unless they act or look a certain way?

I take LOADS of photos of my kids. Too many one might rightly say. But I always try to disappear when I am taking pictures. The camera is just part of my hand, bionic shutter mom. When I take pictures of the kids I don't stop what's happening to get the shot. I keep talking. I allow them to keep moving and laughing and running and chatting. Or I get completely out of the way and hang back and just watch and capture.

Posing is mostly static and phony and doesn't really tell you much about who this soul is that you're trying to portray, especially when it comes to kids.

Children have so much magic in their nature that there's no need to force them to strike a pose in a dull and conventional way. Just stop and study their movement and the images will come. The way their arms express everything they say, the way they leap and skip everywhere they go, they way their wee faces reflect their inner self so truthfully.

It's the tilt of the head, the wrinkly of the nose, the concentration on a little face, the easy way they squat down anywhere. Pure, purposeful, beautiful little people just doing their thing. When I look back on photos of their childhood, that's what I want to see. I don't need to see a perfect smile, or adoring siblings, or coiffed hair, or clean fingernails (have yet to see those around here). I'd rather capture a moment and share a glimpse into a real person. Because as I tell my kids all the time, you're perfect just the way you are.




(This is how Zach hangs out often these days. Laying still. Contemplating. Or just shutting out the noise of his little sister. Not a pose with dimples and sparkling eyes, but very telling of where he is in this tween stage of life.)





(I could tell her not to swim in her clothes. Or I could just sit up the beach a little and watch. Even without a camera, the watching is so sweet. Pure joy, Exploring and discovering with every sense, every cell. This is what being 4 is all about.)


(More swimming in her clothes. Plus a friend who we have known since she was a baby. Seeing them together, little and big. Each stance so telling of who they are in that moment. Little is care free, uninhibited, silly. Big is changing, growing, hand on hip not sure what to make of the little crazy one, caught between big and little and not sure which way to go.)


(Another big and little moment. 4 year old little sisters running up and down the steps. 10 year old big siblings sit and chat.)









(Why stop a beautiful contemplative moment like the ones above for a posed smile? There is so much beauty in the quiet pauses.)


(None of these kids are looking at the camera and posing, and that's why I love it.)


(Looking right at the camera, but just happened to turn my way. Regal, tiny, real.)


(The look on her face, the way he's looking out at the water while holding her tight. It's a moment for sure. Stormy rough passage, seasick little girl, protective yet worried big brother.)





(Story of friends. And childhood. And the joy of a beautiful day. A pose can't give you that.)