Today, I faced up to a few facts that I've been either in denial with or too fickle about to truly accept. But:1. No, Helena - you will never be able to cook like your hubby. There is a certain art to Korma that you just don't possess.
2. Your first grandchild is likely going to be a boy and you'll have wasted all that time and energy on pink wool.
3. The doctor got it right. That nippy little lump on your pinky finger joint is arthritis and not a fracture.
4. Yes, Helena. That fuzzy thing from under your son's bed was in fact once edible.
5. No, the wire hangers in your wardrobe are not breeding, you really haven't done an ironing in two months.
6. Your daughter is STILL 30 and planning on adding up as the years pass.
7. That was a fanny-fart that hissed itself out as you squatted in the supermarket queue.
8. Ghosts DO exist. There's no other explanation for 'that' one.
9. It is no longer 'sweet' if a mirror captures you singing along to a CD with a hairbrush in your hand.
10. You really would no longer 'do' Rutger Hauer.
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