Grieving the loss of a child is a process,
It begins the day your child passes,
and ends the day the parent joins them.
If you lost an arm or a leg, people would notice and would be
asking you all of the time how you're getting along. I doubt they'd tell you to
just get over it, move on, and "God needed one more arm or leg in heaven
so he took yours." Why can't people "see" when child loss occurs
that a large part of our heart has been cut off -- half of our heart is
missing! If only others would acknowledge that, and sincerely ask, "How
are you doing? I've been thinking about
you so much, and hurt with you."
Just validating the loss of our child would mean so much! We don't need criticisms, judgments, or
lectures on how fast we should be moving on.
Just show some genuine love and care--that would go a long way with
parents of child loss!
(Silent Grief.com)
People tend to think you can pack away the pain of
losing a child like you pack up things and put them in storage. It can't be
done! Grieving the loss of a child is a life-long journey of pain. It began the
moment our child died, and the journey doesn't end until we meet again in
heaven. We're traveling this journey without a map. There is no tour guide. It's
a journey we never wanted to take, and we hate every step of the journey. Yet,
here we are, on this new road without directions and feeling so lost. What do
we need other than our child (which we know we can't have back)? We need
somebody -- anybody -- to help support us as we travel through the painful
unknown! Just somebody to stick by our side and walk along with us! It's the
most painful feeling in the world to miss your child with all of your heart and
to know that nothing will ever fill that empty place!
(Silent Grief.com)
When
a child dies we feel torn -- ripped apart. How do you even begin putting
together a heart that's been so wounded and left with so many holes? Some say
it can't be done; others say it scars over and time heals. Still others say,
life fills us up with new joy. Ask the parents of the child who has died and
they will say that the pain comes and goes in tidal waves -- pushing and
pulling us in ways we never thought possible. Sometimes the emotions grow angry
and dark; other times the emotions are more calm and less stormy, but the pain
is always there. The true fact is that once a heart has been crushed, broken,
torn apart, and left with gaping holes from child loss-- it never totally
heals. It can feel better, and we learn to live in a different way than
"before our child died" -- but as for our heart -- it will ALWAYS let
us know that our child is missing. A heart broken by child loss will never
totally and completely heal -- not in this earthly life.
(Silent Grief.com)
Losing
a child changes us in a million different ways. Some of us grow impatient with
others -- their constant complaining about little meaningless things really
annoys us. Some of us question God and our faith wondering why our prayer to
heal our child's health was not answered. Many of us can't see much beauty in life
any more -- our child was the reason we got up in the morning. Still others
that were so driven by their jobs and so goal oriented no longer care. Child
loss wiped out their zest and drive for life. All of these things are the
results of a broken heart brought on by the death of a child. Some people will
judge saying, "You should be stronger." Others are very opinionated
and say, "Accept what has happened because it was for the best." The
best friend is the one who offers no advice, who doesn't judge, but just sits
with us in our pain offering nothing but their time and a hug. That's what a
true friend is -- someone who loves us even in our brokenness!
(Silent Grief.com)
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