Sudipta's Life

 If you grew up in a suburb and played cricket or any game within the neighborhood, then you must be aware of the monster. I speak, of course, of the fat neighborhood aunty or the scowling old uncle who will threaten and curse you to eternal damnation if the cricket ball ever fell in their garden patch. You remember, of course, that the garden was not a Mughal garden. Or an extensive farm of epic proportions. It was, in fact, just a small 6-foot by 6-foot patch of land, neatly divided into four little squares. How on earth someone would cram so many plants into that space was a wonder by itself. My friends would tell me horror stories of this aunty who cuts up tennis balls in front of the children, just to make them realize that they should take the game elsewhere. Or that crazy half-naked uncle who caught hold of little Chintu sneaking in to get the ball, and held him hostage for an hour (even threatened to call the police). Yeah - it was ugly.  As a grown up person (at le...

It feels strange to be writing this, but perhaps every man on earth should say this at least once in their lifetime. To all the women in the world, "Thank you"! Thank you for sticking around with us, thank you for keeping us sane and for keeping us from killing each other. One fine morning, if a spaceship appeared on the horizon and you had the option of leaving all men behind for even a day, I am certain we'll probably go extinct as a species. If you decide to stick around, however, it will be your greatness, and just sheer dumb luck on our part. I stand horrified at all of the things that my brethren have meted out to you over the years. Incidents that happen day in and day out that are no less than medieval torture. The ones we get to know are few: be it the rape of the young student in Delhi past December, or the cut up body of the rape victim that was recently returned in Bengal. What were the last few hours like, of those victims who had so much to see and e...

A very interesting research study once came out of Stanford University, led by Prof Walter Mischel. It was called the Marshmallow test . They put four-year-old kids in a small room, put a small toffee in front of them and gave them two choices. If the child could wait for 10 mins, he/she will get two chocolates. If, however, the kid decided to just eat the candy right there and not eat it, that would be the end of the experiment... no more extra chocolates for the kids. Watch the video below of how some kids struggled against the inner urge and temptation :) Later on, they kept track of what happened to each of these children... how did they do when they grew up? As it turns out, the children who were able to hold off that temptation successfully and got two chocolates as the reward did extremely well in life. The ones who were the quickest to jump the gun were also the ones who ended up in gangs, became small-time crooks, etc. This concept of "holding off" or worki...

Like most things in life, there are two sides to "personalization" on the web. In case you don't realize this, each time you googled for something while you were logged into gmail at the same time, Google kept track of your search. Not just that, it actually tracks which search results and links you click, how long you spent there before hitting the back button to return to the search screen. Google knows what you did each summer. This sounds creepy, right? However, is this a bad thing, always? The short answer is that "it depends" (spoken like a true consultant!). It depends on what you consider a bad thing. I do admit, though, that being tracked "always" does send a shiver down my spine. If you think you are immune, (or you don't have a gmail account), don't flatter yourself. Unless you log out of Facebook each time you are done browsing, you will see a message on a lot of websites who you haven't "Like"-d yet. Usually, it w...

For my readers outside California, Lucky is a chain of grocery stores similar to Big Bazaar in India or Tesco in the UK. I am a big fan of contests and sweepstakes from big and well-known brands. Those that promise $10,000 rewards just if you fill out a contest form or something. I know, I know - the chances are rare and there is almost no way of verifying that they indeed gave away the prizes they promised. I also know that a lot of times they are just harvesting emails and phone numbers - nobody actually gets any prize. But two things give me the motivation to fill out these sweepstakes and survey forms. One, if I am buying stuff from a store anyway, I might as well participate and give it a shot - I do not have to buy anything extra to get those sweepstakes entries. Secondly, I have my junk email ids which I feed into these websites where I don't care who they sell it to. Finally, rest assured there IS a zealous customer somewhere (other than the law enforcement) who will ch...

Since the Durga Puja got over about a month back, it is time to reflect back on the good five days that went by, and calculate how many Bhakti points you have collected. These are redeemable for Punya credit, of course, when you reach heaven. Also, by attending the Durga Puja, you have already guaranteed yourself a spot in heaven - so don't worry about the Bhakti points expiring or something like that. First up, your knowledge of the Devi Stotra : "Sarva Mangala Mangalye...". See, it isn't just enough that you should know the verse by heart. Others also need to know that you know, especially the priest who is leading the chant. So if you can go ahead of others while they are mimicking whatever way the Purohit chants, especially by creating a generous high-pitched noise when others are trying to hear what the Purohit says, you get one Bhakti point each time. Oh, by the way, grant yourself a bonus point if you were able to (very audibly) "Tsch-tsch" ...

Growing up in India, all of us have become accustomed to having someone like a maid or a nurse/caretaker as part of our everyday life. I have had my own share of experiences as well - some of them definitely worth writing about some other day. Right from learning about social faux pas and the political correctness of terms, to being in their position and seeing what it feels like to be treated as one. From almost motherly figures to the stereotypical villains  - tales will be told as the time comes. For now, though, I wish to tell you about one particular incident. As with most housemaids, it takes a while to build trust and rapport and to not notice a little "shortage" of stuff around the house. From the time she joined our household, we never noticed anything significantly missing. I use the word "significantly" here because we suspected there might be some amount of human error in calculations on our part - the tin of rice which used to last 20 days maybe was ...

 I always wonder about the things left unsaid at social gatherings. The benign condescending smile, the fake laugh, the artificial excitement of meeting your "friend" after a while - I almost feel it is a minefield of social faux pas out there when you walk into a gathering! And the trouble is that I don't get most of it.It almost makes me feel like I want both lemon and cream in my tea . I have noticed the following three ways where you can definitely be sure you have said the wrong thing or taken the wrong side: 1. When, following your "expression of doubt" at a person's statement, she asks what your problem in life is. :D This question is usually accompanied by a half smile, glancing away from you and seeking others who might join in the smile, taking a dramatic sip of extremely hot tea which in itself leads to a further curled lip while executing the smile. You might want to take a mental note at this time of what a balloon looks like just when you...

I wish life worked the way I want it to. I wish everyone was transparent, honest, and open about their shortcomings. I wish two people collaborating would work towards a single goal with unified vision and passion, not hankering over who gets what piece. I wish business and collaboration did not mean shams, or overpricing yourself and your value. I wish word of mouth meant an agreement set in stone, where people feel responsible for what they have promised. I wish that people should acknowledge the work others have done before plagiarizing. That recognition for work done should not mean beating one's drum at all times regardless of who actually did the work. I wish people will not hold on to critical information just to create their own value. I want people to open up, and help people with all and everything at their disposal with nothing but a singular vision of success in mind. I don't like false pretenses. I don't like subtle hints and innuendos that are meant to e...

Ever since I was a little boy, I have seen the following thought thrown around in various flavours all across dinner table discussions: if the inept and incompetent politicians could be replaced by some people who actually know something (are educated, etc.) - our country might have some future. Otherwise, we are all doomed for sure. A good rebuttal to this armchair rhetoric was a story which my grandfather used say on these occasions. A king was roaming through his kingdom one night in disguise and came across a group of men sitting around a fire having an animated excited discussion.One of them was most vociferous: - "Oh the prime minister is a lazy bum. I don't know what he does all day, but he is always there as a sidekick when the king wants to address the kingdom" - "And seriously, why can't he take care of these money lenders who are sucking our blood? Why do the main highways get fixed first and nobody ever cares about our side roads?" - "I...

This was during our graduation ceremony from UT Austin, for our College of Natural Sciences. Inside the grand ceremony with the tassels hanging from the right side of the hat, we were having our traditional walk through the podium. You would stand in a queue with your classmates, your name would be called, you would walk across the stage where the Dean of the school would honour you with a hood or band across your shoulders or chest, and then you get your picture taken with the Dean and you move on. To maintain civility and also to make sure that everyone's name is heard during the announcements, people were generally asked to hold on to their applause until after the ceremony was over. This indeed was the case - it was very calm and quiet all through the presentation with smiling faces and the voice of the announcer booming through the speakers. Except, this one time... There was this one guy, on a wheelchair. It looked like he had to go through a large part of his adult life on...

'Tis that time of the year again when you want to send out pretty snaps of the happy family that you are - two and a half of you, that is. But things have been different since that cute thing that just wails and poops was born - tough to get one decent shot to send! That less-than-a-foot long human being with the attention span of an itching eyelid is one tough nut to deal with when taking a picture. Do not panic - this blog post shall enlighten your path to a picture perfect new year. Let us first reminisce about the old days and feel like grandpas... In the golden days of yore, when it was just the two of you it was easy to get the perfect snap. She would lean over or shove her jaw forward at a particular angle, and you would tuck in your tummy and hold your breath. Then, she would smile to expose just the first and second molar of her teeth (the rest of her teeth make her look fat). Following which, you will realize that your tummy is not tucked in (the horror!). But you shall...

This is the second part of the post by the same name. You can read part 1 here . A common phrase we refer to in Hindi is, वो करे तो रासलीला, और हम करें तो करक्टर ढीला! The rough translation of this into English is, "When he (Lord Krishna) does it, you call it divine bliss; when I do it, you call me an immoral man". If you haven't already guessed from the tone of the idiom, it is generally presented as a defense by streetside romeos and others who make lecherous advances towards women. Why and how? Well, because Krishna stole the clothes of the naked Gopis bathing in the river and it is considered one of his great teachings. He had the right to do this - you and I don't. I am not going to go into that debate right now (some other time, perhaps - including some qualms I have about Rama and some other deities). But in a lot of other contexts, I find this inherent "He is divine therefore whatever he does is right" mentality confusing at best and hypocritical ...

In short, no I don't think so. We are the most diverse, yes, but no we aren't the most racist people in the world. I see this being thrown around quite a bit, and it hurts to see even educated people blatantly criticizing our own countrymen without thinking it through. This post is directed at addressing that question. I am going to support my point with five arguments. First, I believe what we mistake for racism (most of the time) is actually rivalry and some of the things that come with it. Second, the immensely diverse nature of our society and country is actually an asset which we confuse with xenophobia to call ourselves racists. Third, yes, there will always be some among us and others who will be intrinsically anti-social and absolutely racist - but you cannot disown them, as the " No true Scotsman " fallacy points out. And oh, lest I forget, some of us do behave in a manner that portrays a negative/uncultured image to the outside world about Indians. These p...

We, collectively, have become a nation of bitches. Ready to be slapped, ready to be plundered, ready to be f*** and we feel so happy about it that there is a tension and joyous build-up every time this happens. They come in hordes, kill, kidnap, murder, shoot people right in front of everyone's faces, and we go on to immortalize them by making them our idols. I am talking about the genre of Bollywood movies that have started idolizing every single gangster and hooligan who plagues the nation. I recently learned that the movie  Gangster was actually based on this dirtbag Abu Salim's life. And then started remembering Shootout at Lokhandwala , D and its sequel Company . How sick does one need to be to actually glorify someone who has come and shot your brother dead in broad daylight? And how effeminate one must be to stand in awe in front of a theater showing the life of a guy (more like hero-worshipping him) who is probably responsible for the kidnap, rape and death of your ...

I wish I had been writing about Bal Gangadhar Tilak. Instead, this post is about the euphemism for dowry that I just witnessed when I was visiting my grandparents place in Bihar. I do not wish to say that dowry is something specific to Bihar, or that the word "Tilak" is the only euphemism that exists, but the point is to make you aware that it exists by this name at this place at least: something you might be able to look out for. Let me give you a little background about how this conversation came about. Tthis lady and her daughters were visiting our place for the traditional pranam and sweets after Bijoya Dashami ( Dusshera ). The eldest of her daughters was of marriageable age and she was talking to my grandfather about how she will have to arrange for enough Tilak for her. I hadn't paid much attention to the conversation until it turned to me being the topic, and with my "phoren" credentials and all she remarked that I will definitely fetch a Tilak in ...

Sanjay from the Dwarka Parichay blog invited me for a guest post. It is published there now with the same title: http://dwarkaparichay.blogspot.com/2009/07/matter-of-faith.html Economists are always baffled by the apparent stupidity of humans. They seem to make some decisions which are completely irrational, and go completely against any form of rational logic.Take, for example, the fact that people go ahead and buy lottery tickets. As any statistician can tell you, the probability that you will win a 10 crore rupee prize after buying a one rupee lottery ticket is about the same as that of you getting the money after you flush the one rupee note down the toilet. And yet, people do it. What perhaps the academicians forget is that that one rupee also buys them some hope, a promise of untold riches and even for one moment, buys them a smile on the face. Perhaps you've already guessed where this is going; our favourite topic - God. Does it not occur to you at times that you are tal...

My room-mate, Anirban, recently attended the "North American Bengali Conference" which happened over the July 4th weekend. In a way, he was "invited" to this august assembly: he was roped in as a volunteer (He insists it was he who had offered his services voluntarily). He has started chronicling his experiences from the conference on his new blog, called " Anirban Ubacho: অনির্বাণ উবাচ ". If you are a Bengali, please pause reading this post right now, and head over to that one. For those of you not familiar with the nuances and innuendos that one can slyly put across through my mother tongue, here is a rough attempt to translate the first post into English. And believe me, as I even approach this task, I sometimes wish I could just plug in that little Bengali word here or quote that little idiom there to express myself. Note that this is not a translation by the letter: I've taken certain creative liberties myself. However, if you feel offended by any...

The Oscars this year disappointed me. I have nothing against Slumdog Millionaire, and perhaps it was the best candidate for all the awards it got. But not best director and best screenplay. To me, if "The Dark Knight" did not get these awards, then yes the Oscars are an annual semi-farce. I have heard this 'allegation' from many people at many different times. But this is the first time in my life that I've seen some of the movies that were nominated for the Oscars, and actually had an opinion about the movies which I came up with entirely by myself. :) But I don't wish to speak about biased Oscars, nor about selling India's poverty in the Slumdog Millionaire. And neither do I want to go on at length about a review of the Dark Knight or how Heath Ledger got the Oscar only because he is dead. Instead, I wish to talk about the Joker. I would rank the insights I've gained from the Joker's character as being close to the kind of pondering I had slipp...

If you did not vote this year, - You have no right to preach at your local tea shop about corrupt politicians. - You have no right to be outraged because the local MLA took bribes and allowed the neighborhood to become a brothel. That is precisely where you belong. - You cannot complain of vote bank politics - someone who at least cares to vote is the right person to appease. If you are whining so much about people playing up to the minorities, it serves you right that the minorities go to vote in the majority. - You were also whining about how reservations are ruining the country, right? Well I think the reservations are good. People who vote should have the right to get stuff reserved for themselves at the best places. - You should not forward that email about how 30% of people in the Parliament are criminals, half of who have murder charges pending against them. I know that is the only thing you're good at: forwarding emails. But seriously, save those precious fingers of ...