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“Mom, I’m a Boy.”–When My Teenage Child Suddenly Came Out as Trans

PART I: My Journey with Feminism

Backstory to Having a Trans Son – Feminism and Gender Stereotypes
Growing Up into a Self-Confident Woman

VIOLATION OF BOUNDARIES
The Bully at the Corner Shop
Looking at the Pearls
Bullied at Elementary School
Sibling Conflicts
Having to Apologize for Standing Up for Myself
Sexual Molestations (part 1/3): The Incident at High School
Sexual Molestations (part 2/3): The Incident in the Latin Formation Dance Team
Sexual Molestations (part 3/3): The Incidents in Budapest

CAREER
Should Women Get a Higher Education? Appalling Advice from a Teacher
Should Women Better Become a Teacher Rather than Go into the Corporate World?

FEMINISM
My First Contact with Feminist Literature
My Mother’s Reaction to My Feminist Phase

RELATIONSHIPS
My Mother’s Dating Advice
A Fellow Student’s View on Relationships
Lessons of Self-Love in Relationships

GENDER EXPRESSION/BODY
When I Got a Short Haircut
As a Woman with Short Hair in Japan: My Adventure at the Sentō
When My Younger Son Had Long Hair
Is It Brave to Wear Gray Hair?
Hairy and Happy
Short Fingernails
Unsolicited Comments on Breast Size
Other Aspects of Women’s Body Images

HOUSEHOLD CHORES AND WORK
Why Doesn’t Dad Have to Cook?
Why Should I Clean My Boyfriend’s Staircase?
Are Moms Supposed to Stay at Home?
Why Are Women Responsible for Buying Presents for the Family?
Can’t Men Work Part-Time and Take Care of the Children?
Send the Children to Daycare at an Early Age or Not? Views Differ Between Eastern and Western Germany
Why Can’t Men Prepare the Family Dinner?
Why Is It Offensive to Compare My Office Job to Household Chores?
Trying to Escape the Cake-Baking Duties
When I Escaped the Sewing Duties
I Am Not My Husband’s Secretary

BREASTFEEDING
RA Meds and Unnecessary Weaning
Extended Breastfeeding

OTHER ASPECTS
Positive Aspects I Experienced Growing Up as a Woman

MARRIAGE AND KIDS
No Name Change After Marriage
Pregnancy and Progesterone
Shared Income and Shared Duties

Looking Back

PART II: My Transgender Son’s Journey

COMING OUT
My Older Child’s Coming Out as a Transgender Boy
Coming Out at School: The Letter
Coming Out to Family and Society: Reactions
A Psychotherapist’s Reaction to My Son’s Coming Out as Transgender

Why Do Some People Identify as Transgender? The Neurobiology of Transidentity

THE SEARCH FOR PSYCHOTHERAPISTS
The Religious Psychiatrist’s Reaction
A Bizarre Phone Conversation
A Trans-Experienced Psychotherapist: From Hope to Disappointment
The Psychiatrist Who Was Recommended by the School: Getting the Medical Certificate
Regular Therapy Sessions as a Prerequisite for Puberty Blockers
A Long Ride to Frankfurt: Getting the Recommendation for Puberty Blockers
The Reluctant Therapist: A Catch-22

REAL-LIFE EXPERIENCE IN THE NEW GENDER ROLE
Clothes, Dancing, and Swimming
Transgender at School: Restroom and Gym Class Struggles

STORIES
The Elderly Lady at the Grocery Store
Change is Ahead
A Dream: Three Ravens
It Could Have Been Worse
The Pink Nightshirt
Hero
At the Sauna
The License Plate
Dream: It All Comes Down to Bonn
It’s Gonna Be Okay
The Weird Speed Radar
Spider Alarm
Luck
The Copy Shop and Divine Timing
Synchronicities Around “T-Day”
Meeting the Former Preschool Teacher
Another Spider Alarm
It’s in the Stars

MEDICAL: HORMONES
The First Endocrinologist Appointment: Puberty Blockers
An Unexpected Temper Tantrum
Passing?
The Restroom Solution
Getting the Affirming Letters for Testosterone
Getting the Prescription for Testosterone
“T-Day”
The Second Puberty
An Allergic Reaction
Testosterone and Travel

LEGAL
The Legal Name and Gender Change Process
The Trans-Related Resume
Sending the Application to Court
Receiving the Expert Opinions
Getting Court Approval
Changing the Legal Documents
A Temporary Easier Path
A New Law in 2024:The Self-Determination Act

MEDICAL: SURGERY
Receiving the Psychiatric Report for Top Surgery
Getting Top Surgery Approval from the Statutory Health Insurance
Top Surgery

PART III: Looking Back

LOOKING BACK
Looking Back and Trying to Make Sense of It All
The Courage to Be Ourselves
Channelings: The Deeper Story
Aries North Node
Shocks, Transformation, and Being True: Exploring Gate 51 in My and My Son’s Human Design
Conclusion: Becoming Ourselves, No Matter What