There’s this chick I occasionally have to ring in line with
the current job I’m working at. I ring her to say this car or that is ready for
pick up. Her response? Thanks sweetie, possum, gorgeous girl, princess lovely.
Nah, she’s never met me. She’s one of those gaggable women. Patronizing with a
capital P for prissy and perfect and ponce-head. I’ve sussed her out. My normal response would
be to advise her to stop the sweetie-baby-doll-pookie-face-language. Stop it
now. With her? No point. She sees herself as a cute kewpie doll everyone loves.
The shut-the-fuck-up strategy would just bounce off the aura of fakeness she
hides behind. She sees people as things and not individuals and in many ways
it’s pretty sad. Telling her she’s a patronizing sod is a waste of my time and I
feel sorry for her as she’ll never get to know anyone for who they really are. So,
my plan is to pookie-face-baby-doll-gorgeous-sweetie-darling her back until she
vomits. It's only fair.
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