I was watching this pukeably sweet show this morning at 2:30
am when it was freezing cold and I couldn't sleep due to the cold and other
reasons. It was Seventh Heaven – a schlock Yankee TV show about a bunch of god-botherers
hell bent – okay – maybe heaven bent - on the fact that no one was supposed to
have sex until they were married or all these terrible and dire things would
happen like getting detention at school, sleeping in a tent in the backyard and
arguing with parents over having sex before everyone forgiving everyone for
having a penis and a vagina. The parents in question were this sappy, sickly
sweet pair who made me want to drink, smoke pot, lie a lot and have copious sex at 2:30 am
just to spite them. Basically, with this pair, it was a case of keep your legs together,
think pure thoughts, eat cookies and be ridiculously annoying with sappy smiles
and holier than thou bullshit sermons on goodliness. Plu-ease…
Did I mention there was nothing else on TV and I couldn’t sleep?
Yes? Ok…good…anyway, I was thinking to myself who watches this bullshit, other
than insomniacs? Who came up with the no sex until married bit and decided to
force feed it in a TV show to insomniacs, and others, who have undoubtedly had
sex before marriage and more than likely enjoyed it? Also, what message does it
give to women? Without a man you can’t enjoy yourself? Be pure until married?
What if you can’t remain pure? What if you’re an inherently impure insomniac?
And the men in the show? Oh lordy…who’d want to have sex with them and their
moralizing bullshit?
This sappy show went for 10 years on US TV and then it was
forced on the rest of us drinking, whoring, pot smoking insomniacs. How did it
go for 10 years? I say take it off early
morning TV and leave us impure insomniacs alone.
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