Durango Palmers: February 2011

Monday, February 28, 2011

A day in my life

My friend Jan has done this before and I thought it was so fun I had to try it. While her intent is to take a photo every hour for 10 hours on the 10th of the month...that was not mine. I was lucky to get the photos I did. I'd like to do it again because it was kinda funny but for now here was my Tuesday of last week in pictures.

I forgot to get a picture of breakfast. Good start eh?

But I did get a picture of Kate making her bed.

And a picture of Kale's half-eaten birthday cake since I forgot to take a picture of his moon-scape cake.

And then when I got done checking facebook and emails I turned back into the kitchen to find this...

It may seem like nothing, just a chair pulled up to the counter, but since Jack was no where in my line of sight I knew that he'd pushed that chair over and got into something. So I went on search and found my littlest in my closet with a sucker in his mouth {sadly no picture of that}. He's a sneaky little fellow!

Then we started school. Notice Kate playing on the spinning chair in the background.

At one point during school I heard some noise coming from the boys room. I couldn't find Jack. Not a good combo as we've already seen. So I go in the boys room and find Jack and his "artwork". We had a break so our littlest janitor could clean up his mess.

After school we packed our lunches and headed to town for our Tuesday lunch with friends and dad {although he wasn't able to be there this week}

Lunch!

Headed home and ready for naps.

After naps and before dinner is when they get to watch a show - their favorites right now are Kung Fu Dino Posse {feel free to feel sorry for me if you'd like} and Arthur.

Dinner was Cafe Palmer. I had to go to work that night so I wasn't able to get pics of dinner or their baths or bedtime so you'll have to believe me that they did all of that while I was gone.

See? Told you I still had some work to do on my 10 on the 10th idea...

Saturday, February 26, 2011

One Enchanted Evening

Friday evening was the Daddy Daughter Dance at our church. This was the 2nd year they've put this on and my little daughter was beyond thrilled to be going. She woke up Friday morning, came into our room and the first words out of her mouth were "Tonight's the dance!!!" Yeah, she was excited :)

Unfortunately Jack had gotten sick the day before so we took him to the Dr and found out that he mostly likely has the flu. The test came back negative but the Dr was quite confident that that's what he had and that we had caught it very early. He had hung out with our friend Madison on Tuesday who was fine on Tuesday but was diagnosed on Wednesday with the flu. So we were pretty sure he had it. Thankfully he's doing much better today thanks in part to getting him started early on medicine. He's still quite tired but doesn't need to be held 24/7 and that means a lot. I kinda feel like I've been sick for the past couple days because holding Jack that much forces me to stay on the couch or my arms give out. I've seen quite a few cartoons that I really didn't need to see....

Anyway, back to Kate.

Getting her ready for the dance was fun. We'd went last week to find her dress, cut her hair and pierce her ears. After her nap she got her dress on lickity split! And she was beautiful!

Then we curled her hair - something she had wanted. After the 15 minutes or so of curling she decided it was too poofy and didn't like it even though it was adorable! She pulled on some of the curls to try and straighten them out but we eventually got her distracted enough to stop. Make-up was the wonderful distraction. I told her I'd put pink eye shadow on her as well as blush. She was very happy with that!

She had a smile all night I think! We took pictures - so much like prom - then they headed off to the restaurant of her choice....Sonic! Thankfully Mark took a few photos of their fabulous dinner.

And one from the dance.

My friend Kim took some pictures for us too.

Seriously this dance was so cool. People spent months preparing. The theme was Never Grow Up. They decorated the sanctuary in a forest theme. Huge trees, lights, stars...it was truly magical. The whole crew did an amazing job. They had a skit, princesses all dressed up talking to all the girls and dads, food, a professional photographer taking dance pictures and a DJ. It was a ton of work but man did those volunteers bless a about 200 dads and daughters. What a gift! A night devoted to the beautiful relationship between a dad and a daughter. Priceless!

When they got home they both sat on the couch and told me all about it (I really think Mark had as good a time as Kate! - he told me that we have such a special and beautiful daughter - I love him). Kate talked about the princesses and all her friends who were there. She just kept smiling sleepily. Mark said she wanted to dance the whole time. So they did. The barely stopped to get a drink and have their pictures taken. Needless to say when they got home they were both pretty wiped out but full of precious memories.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Just Perfect

Perfection. Is that a realistic notion? Can we really expect perfection from anyone? Anything? Does God expect perfection from us?

I've been pondering perfection. I have come across people in my life who expect perfection from me, my husband and/or my children and it's heartbreaking because it's impossible for us to ever live up to those expectations. It isn't loving, grace-filled or truthful.

It makes me think of my relationship with Jesus. How does He see me? What does He expect from me? Perfection? Hardly! Perfection means no grace and Jesus personifies grace and truth. Perfection and grace can not go hand in hand when describing anyone else except Jesus. You can not expect perfection from yourself or from others and still give grace. It just doesn't make sense.

Jesus knew from the very beginning that we would fail. He knew it and yet he still died for us and still loves us today. Amazing! We can't really even to begin to understand that love. He pours that out for us daily. Daily we fail to be perfect and daily He loves us with grace and truth. He's not disappointed or mad or frustrated or impatient. He's just loving.

I've come across people who have gotten angry with me or my children in an instant. They've been upset because a harsh word was spoken or because we weren't grateful or because we were wrapped up in ourselves. We've been in the wrong, no doubt, but then that was it. We had one chance and we blew it. There was frustration or anger or impatience or disappointment and we were done. No chance (it seemed) to be forgiven and start over. No chance to learn how to be better. No chance.

How often have I done the same thing to others? I've been on the receiving end of the expectation of perfection and it's a yucky feeling. A feeling of never being good enough. Never. And I hate it. It's made me open my eyes more and more to my own treatment and expectations of others. Do I expect perfection? Am I filled with grace in truth in my relationships or do I write people off when they fail me? Do I understand that people will fail but it is grace and truth that lifts them up to try again, not a broken relationship? Do I give grace and truth to those who have expected perfection from me? Ouch. That's a hard one.

And to just make it harder...do I expect [impossible] perfection from myself? Do I treat myself like Jesus does? With compassion and grace and value? Grace + Truth over time = change. How can I change if I don't give myself grace and truth?

Perfection expects the right thing all the time.
Grace {and truth - can't have one without the other!} understands that the right thing won't be said all the time and says please don't talk to me that way...let's try again.

Perfection expects the correct behavior all the time.
Grace and truth understands that we are all sinful humans struggling to learn and grow and says that really wasn't a good choice...here's a better idea.

Perfection expects that people will never fail {and boy will they be disappointed!}.
Grace and truth understands that we've all fallen short and that it is very, very possible, when we get knocked down, to get up again, brush ourselves off and keep going!

I don't know where you are at today but I have been uber challenged to adjust my expectations. Not lower them but adjust them. I want to be the kind of spouse/parent/friend/sister where it's safe to fail with me. I want to be a safe place for people to be....people! I don't want people to walk on pins and needles around me...afraid that if they fail I will write them off. Jesus never wrote anyone off. Even those who failed Him as He was being crucified. His love, grace and truth were poured out even in those moments. How I wish to be that kind of friend!

And how thankful I am that even as I'm walking this road of grace and truth that God knows that I will fail...a lot. I pray that I will have grace for my own life as I learn how to love others as He loves me.

*on a random side note: I googled an image for perfect/perfection and Google gave me images of celebrities, houses, landscapes, coffee etc. I guess perfect is in the eye of the beholder eh?*

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Feast or Famine

My blog seems to be feast or famine. Either I have a lot to say or I don't. Either I have lots of time to say it or I don't. Feast or famine. Good thing no one's paying me to write this blog. I'm pretty sure I'd be fired.

This weekend flew by with hardly any pictures. Mark's parents came into town early Friday afternoon to help us spend the weekend celebrating Kale's 7th birthday. Kate and I had a girls date on Friday morning to get ready for the Daddy Daughter Dance next weekend {those pictures are below}. We hung around the house on Friday evening, got the kids to wait till Saturday morning to open their birthday gifts then did birthday stuff.

Here's the best picture I got of them waiting "patiently" {and I use that term loosely} to open their presents from Mark's side of the family. We went ahead and let Kate open hers too. I knew it was going to be difficult keeping those presents out of the way of little fingers for 2 more weeks.

The pictures I took of them opening stuff were way too blurry - even by my standards - to post. Mark took video and promised to make some shots pictures but he hasn't had time for that and if I waited this post would be about Kate's birthday and not Kale's. There's just a lot going on.

Kale's friend, Toby, came down with the flu so he wasn't able to celebrate Kale's birthday with him but we managed to have fun despite the setback. Kale was disappointed but he felt bad for Toby and we prayed for his sweet little friend to get well soon.

Mark and his parents took Kale and Kate to see Gnomeo and Juliet at the movie theater Saturday afternoon and then Jack and I met up with them at McDonalds for dinner {Kale's choice of course!}. I got pulled over on my way to dinner because our front license plate fell off a while ago and we haven't replaced it yet. That usually happens to me. I've only been pulled over for speeding once and that was in college. But I've been pulled over for a taillight out, a cracked windshield, not having my headlights on at dusk, an expired tag, a headlight out, and now not having a front license plate. It sounds like I don't take care of my cars but that's not it I promise! If something is wrong - even if it happens moments before - it's almost a given that I'll get pulled over for it. Mark can drive around without a headlight for months but not me. If I drive that same car I'll get pulled over. Murphy's law!

Anyway, we had dinner at McDonalds then came home and pretty much went to bed. Long, fun day. Oh and it was our anniversary too. :)

I'm almost out of my limited blog time so I'll finish with these pictures of Kate from our girls date. We went and got haircuts - she got 8 inches cut off! Then headed to JCPenny to get a dress for the dance. After finding the perfect dress we went and got her ears pierced in the mall. She did really well. She seemed a little shocked when the nice lady did her first ear and when she did the other side she cried a bit. But a sucker and looking around the store for new earings got her to calm down very quickly. Then she couldn't help but look in the mirror at her sparkly ears. She loved it.

Here's her before picture.

And here she is at home with her adorable new hat that we got on sale at Claire's. She seriously grew up in a matter of hours!

And here she is showing off her cute short hair and her new pink, sparkly ears.

I have a couple posts in the works so hopefully a feast will be coming soon!

Thursday, February 17, 2011

7 years people!

It's after 5pm on my oldest son's birthday and I'm just now getting around to posting and wishing him a happy birthday. Thankfully the Mother of the Year award is not dependent on my blogging skills...(and I think they told me it was on back order anyway).

I know everyone says this but I really can't believe I had a kid 7 years ago. That seems like forever ago and at the same time like it was this morning. I can't say that that was the day that changed my life forever {although it ranks high up there} but it certainly rocked my world in a way that I never expected.

Kale Robert Palmer is so many people wrapped into one. He's got a mind that is racing with questions - like me, a creative imagination - like Mark, artistic ability - like so many of his relatives {not me}, a sweet loving personality, an ornery streak, a love of snuggles and sharks and cars and his blanket-two {yes he named his blanket and yes it is his second one therefore blanket-two}, and a goofy sense of humor - again like so many of his relatives.

He is so many people and of course totally unique. He's quite independent and at the same time incredibly cautious and timid. He picks up on things at school really fast but can have a mental block over the simplest of lessons because he just doesn't want to do it. He loves his brother and sister passionately and will throw them under the bus in a moment. He's the protector, the helper, the ring leader and also the boss :) And he is an absolute gift to us and a wonderful treasure every day.

He told me today that no matter what he got, or didn't get, for his birthday he promised to be thankful. Ya think he's heard that before? :) I so appreciate his willingness to at least try. He really has a tender heart and is always asking me if so-in-so knows Jesus. He truly cares about that.

He's even had a really good attitude about our not so thrilling birthday day celebration. Mark is gone all day so we decided to do a little birthday fun with him and one of his friends on Saturday while Mark's parents are in town. Go to dinner, eat cake, have a sleepover...ya know 7yr old boy stuff. He's very excited for Saturday.

Today we went to lunch with our friends, the Beachs. They helped make today just a little more special for our little man. I so appreciate that. Just something different then plain ole lunch at home.

He's happy to be able to pick the cartoons they watch, the food they eat and answer all the calls from relatives wishing this little man a happy birthday. He's enjoying every second.

Happy birthday to my first born. I'm so thankful that God gave you to us. You are a joy and we are very excited to see the plans God has for your life. We love you Kale!

Monday, February 14, 2011

Whatever's on my Mind

Last week Mark went to Phoenix with the men on staff for a Pastor's conference. He was gone for 4 long days :) And while I don't like to do the single parent thing and am beyond thankful that I don't have to do it often, it went really well. There were moments of frustration but in reality I have those even when Mark is home so I had nothing to complain about even though I really, really wanted to sometimes.

The kids and I busied ourselves by eating dinner with friends one night, having lunch with friends one day, going to the library, car wash and chiropractor one day, and spending one day catching up on housework. Breaking up the long days was especially helpful. Mark was super busy at the conference so we weren't able to talk much with him. I had expected the kids to be really upset about that but they handled it well and just counted down the days and hours till Mark got back.

Kale's 7th birthday is this Thursday. I can hardly believe it. This kid's been counting down the days since Christmas. I think we may celebrate a little on Thursday but then do another celebration on Saturday with one of his friends. Mark's parents are planning a trip down here for the weekend so we'll save the cake celebration till then.

Meanwhile I need to get my rear in gear and plan Kate's 5th birthday party that's just 2 weeks away. I really am not a party planner so it kinda makes me feel like breaking out - or not - in hives when I think about it. She also is counting down the days. She mentioned something about going swimming but I'm pretty sure putting on a bathing suit in March sounds much, much worse than planning a party. Pasty white legs meet 5 year old swim party. Not so fun. We'll see if we can talk her into something else...

Mark's birthday is in April and he is not planning his party....yet....

We've hardly had any snow this winter and while I'm thankful to not have had to shovel much, it just doesn't seem right that it's been so stinkin' cold but there hasn't been much white stuff. I mean, if it's that cold there should be snow right? I guess we haven't hit March and April yet and there's usually a good amount then.

We ordered pizza the other night, not because we didn't have food to eat in our house, but just because we wanted to do something different. Of course we have to drive to town to pick it up so it loses some of the fun of ordering in but then again when you have a new truck it isn't so bad.

Jack punched one of his little friends in the face on Sunday during Sunday school. Seriously that kid. Not sure what his deal was. His teachers said he was tired 1st service and ornery during 2nd service. He's recently developed some yucky, bad dry skin. Bad enough for him to itch till it bleeds and bad enough to refuse to wear certain clothes because they hurt and he cries. I'm wondering if he's having trouble sleeping as a result. I'm not trying to make excuses for hitting. He got in big trouble for that. I'm just wondering if there's another reason he's been so crabby. I've been rubbing a whole bunch of vaseline on him a couple times a day but he still is so stinkin' dry! Poor kid. Although I feel quite awful for the little girl he hit on Sunday. She's such a sweet heart. Another one of those "really? my kid did what?" moments in parenting. *sigh*

Mark and I will be married 11 years on Saturday. We'll be having a party for Kale. :)

My van is totally a mess and makes me wish the kids and I could drive around in daddy's truck for a few more days so I can avoid cleaning it out. Really not fun for me when it's so cold out.

The daddy/daughter dance at our church is coming up in 2 weeks. Kate is super excited to go. You may remember she and Mark went last year. I'm planning a girl's date for this Friday so we can go get haircuts and buy her a pretty dress to wear. She has the poster for the dance hanging in her room (the blessing of her daddy being the poster designer). The theme is never grow up. I know several people who are helping put this on and I am so excited for her to go. Kinda jealous that Mark gets this privilege but I know they both love it so much and it's so important. I'm thrilled that our church provides this opportunity for them.

One of our brand new windows has a giant crack in it. Not sure how it got there but we've been assured that it can be replaced. Bummer to have to go through all that though.

Some nights I'm ready to go to bed at 5:30.

I've never really liked Valentine's Day. I hear some people call it "single awareness day". I never have thought that this day was very fun, single or not. It's a day devoted to love, shown by chocolate, flowers, romantic dinners, candlelight etc...There are just huge expectations that no one person can possible fulfill. So it leaves us feeling empty. I just don't like that feeling.

But. My friend Kim told me to look up Saint Valentine and see what the meaning of Valentine's Day is. I couldn't find a lot of good info but I did find that Saint Valentine was a protector of Christian marriage and that I love. One legend says that Emperor Claudius II was banning marriage because he believed single men were better warriors for his army so Saint Valentine performed secret marriage ceremonies.

Our society is telling us that marriage isn't necessary. That there's no real point in doing a ceremony. They're wrong. Marriage is a sacred, holy union that is a covenant made before man and God. I believe we should be telling our loved ones that we love them every single day but I don't mind taking this day to honor the sacred union of marriage and to reflect on what God intends marriage to be about. A day celebrating sacrificial love not fluffy-overly-emotional-gooey-dependent-on-someone-else-making-me-happy kind of love.

I didn't buy flowers or chocolate or candles or cards but I will tell Mark how thankful I am for him and how thankful I am to God for the privilege of being married to him.

So....Happy Valentine's Day! I think this may be the first one I actually enjoyed.

My mind is now empty. Thanks for listening :)

Sunday, February 13, 2011

To tell you the Truth....

Yesterday morning was our women's breakfast. Considering the worst thing that happened was that I forgot to order the coffee until 8pm Friday night I think it went rather well! We had about 25 women there at 7-early-30 on a frigid Saturday morning. I was so proud of them for rolling out of bed and showing up!

I didn't sleep well Friday night. The message just swam around in my head all night. Going over it over and over and over again to make sure I knew what I was going to say. I don't really know why I do that to myself. It doesn't matter how prepared I am, if I trust the Holy Spirit I can usually say what God wants me to say and it goes smoother than I can imagine. Like yesterday. All my thoughts were a jumbled mess but when I started speaking they sorted themselves out. It was wonderful! I was so blessed by it. I can't wait till April when we do it again!

A friend requested the notes and since I had wanted to blog a little about my talk I thought I'd take a few minutes to share. I can't share word for word - it would just take way too long - but hopefully these notes can highlight some of what I shared.

I started off by sharing an experience I've had in the past couple years where I was in a situation with someone and I was really frustrated with it and wanted to see change. I felt compelled to speak truth with this person even though it was stinkin' scary! What happened as a result was better than I could've thought. So many times we don't speak truth because we're afraid of the outcome.

What is a lie?
*It's an exaggeration of the truth, an embellishment, an over-dramatization to make the truth seem better or worse than it actually is.
*It's a half-truth, an omission of part of the story.
*It's a full out untruth.

Why do we lie?
*We're afraid of the outcome.
*We don't want to show a yucky part of ourselves.
*We want people to like us.
*etc........

We live in a society saturated with lies. Saturated with exaggerations, half-truths and total deception. We even categorize lies to make us believe that it's OK to lie {ie. white lies}.

Who is truth? Jesus said I am the Way, the Truth and the Life...The name of Jesus is synonymous with Truth. Jesus=Truth.

How did Jesus speak truth to people? It was a combination of grace and truth. He never spoke one without the other. Ever.

Truth+Grace over time = change

Speaking Truth brings Jesus into our conversations and into our relationships. It brings change.

The enemy's only weapon against us is lies. All our issues can be rooted in belief in a lie.

Are you sad, lonely, bitter, feeling isolated or worthless etc....? What lies are you believing about yourself or others?

How do we stop it?
*We meditate on truth/God's Word to us. Philippians 4:8 says "Whatever is true.......think on such things"
*We study it so we can know what is truth.
*We speak it. Even when it's tough. Because we want to see change.
*We receive it when it's spoken to us.

I crave hearing Truth and I crave relationships with people who will tell me the truth and not what they think I want to hear. I can't change if I don't see the truth about myself or others. Good friends love you enough to speak grace and truth into your life and I am very blessed to have friends like this.

Speaking Truth:
*shines light and God into our darkness
*it removes Satan's foothold
*builds trust and healthy relationships
*challenges us to say what we mean and mean what we say
*proclaims Christ
*it heals and changes us
*it sets us free!

Proverbs 12:22 says "The Lord detests lying lips but He delights in those who are truthful"

I want the Lord to delight in me and in my relationships with others! I want to be set free by His Truth in my life. I want to experience all He has for me and not settle for anything less.

Will you speak Truth today?

Friday, February 11, 2011

Band of Sistas

A couple of months ago our pastor's wife, Linn, asked me to head up the part of women's ministry {Girlfriends} that puts on the women's breakfasts. I was thrilled as I had felt God leading me to teach or disciple women but I wasn't sure how to do that. This is a wonderful opportunity and I'm really excited about it.

I put together a team {so far there's 3 of us} and I think we're gonna be a good team. God has brought together different women with different gifts and I'm so thankful for that. I can sure use help in so many areas! Our first breakfast is tomorrow.

I'm going to speak on Truth.

If I give out much more than that my friends who read my blog won't come tomorrow to hear it since they've already read it ;) But I will say that I love learning about, and seeking, the truth. What it means to know and believe the truth about God, other people, ourselves....It's really fascinating actually. Can you imagine having a relationship with someone that was completely truthful/honest 100% of the time? Many of us can't. But we should be striving for that! God desires us to know the truth.

You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free!

It isn't just a famous scripture. It's truth! So much in that one little scripture....Can't wait to speak about it....tomorrow!

Oh and the reason this blog is titled Band of Sistas is because our men's ministry does Band of Brothers {BoB} Breakfasts and I thought we needed a catchy title too. Ya know, BoS[s]. Makes sense to me :)

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Cafe Palmer

I was inspired by my friend Lori's blog a couple weeks ago when she gave ideas for what to with leftovers. One idea was a cafe complete with menus and candlelight. So I gave it a try last week.

Welcome to Cafe Palmer. Here you can have a tortilla pizza, a burrito or stroganoff {circle one}, carrots or mixed veggies {circle one}, and candy or a cake ball {I have some frozen ones in the freezer - I did not make them special for this event}.

The kids all placed their "orders" {Jack just colored his menu and ate what the others did}, I lit candles, heated up their food and we enjoyed our first meal at Cafe Palmer.

And while it was still plain ole leftovers they actually had fun and begged me the next night for Cafe Palmer again.

I'm sure we can visit there again very soon....

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

If you give a kid a beater....

after you made Toffee chip cookies

and he tries to stick the whole thing in his mouth

you'll probably get a face covered in cookie dough

and one happy, hyper 2 1/2 year old!

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