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Monday, October 29, 2012

2 in a Week?!


2 times in one week?  Watch out.  I may be back....nah.  I just can't commit fully yet :)

I figured I'd update a few more things.  I forgot to mention in the last post that my children are phenomenal at swallowing vitamins now, which really opens up a whole new world of medication and allergy meds (no more grape flavored chewable or drinkable expensive gunk!).  They can be super slow in swallowing the hand-full of vitamins they are currently taking BUT they get swallowed eventually.  I consider that a win.

We are chugging along in school.  Both kids are doing better and better.  There is less fighting me than before.  I also consider that a win.  There is still fighting, to be sure, just less of it.  I changed math curriculum to something called Making Math Meaningful.  It helps them to not only understand math equations but also math concepts (something I'm getting a ton out of myself!).  I think it'll be good in the long run even though they are having to get used to doing a bit more work.  Kale has moved on from studying just the U.S. to now studying different countries.  He and I are currently playing a geography game of North America.  Seriously I've never known more geography in my life.  Sad!  Kate is steadily reading more and more and doing amazingly well.  So proud of her!

On that note, her eyes have improved since starting therapy and we had them rechecked by the eye doctor.  He approved of her going from the bifocals back to just one lens.  We were super excited to see serious progress and we put the new lenses in right away.  Unfortunately she couldn't focus up close on her schoolwork and it frustrated her (and me) so we had to change back to her bifocals.  Bummer.  But we'll keep on trying!

Mark and I went to Branson, MO. at the beginning of October for a pastor's conference.  It was the first time in a long time that we've been away from our kids.  I loved it.  I was so desperate for a break and it turned out to be such a nice time.  We went with our associate pastors, the Quisenberrys, and had a great time getting to know them better as well.  The kids shared their time away with us with both sets of grandparents.  It was so nice to be able to leave them with family.  

On that note, Mark is doing an amazing job as lead pastor.  Honestly I couldn't be more proud of him.  He works hard, loves people, seeks God and has just blown my mind on his capacity to minister!  He's also going to school and working hard reading textbooks and writing papers.  On top of that he has dealt with our issues with Kate as well as my struggles.  He's been a rock and a help and support and I'm super blessed to be married to this man.  I don't normally gush but just when I start thinking about all he's had to do and deal with in the last few months, I'm blown away at how God has faithfully used him.  So awesome.

Two weeks ago I helped lead my first women's retreat as lead pastor's wife.  Overall it was a huge success thanks to the amazing ladies who helped put it all together.  So much of the original planning was done when my mind couldn't focus.  It was so strange to me to not be able to concentrate and make decisions.  Normally I know just what I want to do ;).  But I struggled with reading the curriculum we were using and putting it all together.  The ladies on my team stepped up and took over much to my great delight.  My mind has been coming back and was much better at the time of the retreat.  Honestly the few glitches we had were in areas I was in charge of. We had 55 women come (way more than I thought would come) and my overall goal to have women get to know each other and just have fun together was reached.  It was thrilling.  There was even a ropes course there and we had a blast going down the zip line and trying out different elements on the high ropes course.  I told people that God just filled in all our cracks and the retreat was successful!

Wow.  I don't think I even shared about our trip to Breckenridge over Labor Day weekend.  Sadly I need to get going so I'll have to save that for another post.  That just means there's another one coming!

sig 2.0

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Avoidance


Haha!  I accidentally published this and then had to go back to edit it.  Talk about avoidance!

I've felt myself avoiding blogging lately (okay for almost 2 months!).  That's the longest stretch I've ever gone not blogging.  So crazy.  I think it's because so much is going on that I'm not sure how to capture it all.  How to explain any of it.  How to convey feelings, emotions, opinions and facts all at the same time.

But I decided to put on my big girl undies and just jump in and see what happens.  There will be lots missing but I'm hoping to at least start back on the wagon cause truthfully I miss being on the wagon...I love reading blogs and seeing how other folks are doing. I know I have a few people who are wondering if I dropped off the planet.  :)

So.  First thing is an update on Kate.  We've been changing our diet over the past 2 months and it's going well.  We've started to hit a groove and have a better understanding of what we're doing (or I have a better understanding of how to cook!).  The kids are still convinced that we are fasting sugar - which is partially true - they just don't know that the sugar fast is gonna be indefinite with treats here and there.  I'll let them live in their happy place a little bit longer.  

Their tastes have seemed to change a bit.  We had grilled chicken salad the other night and they actually all liked and ate it and said yum.  Seriously a miracle!  We still have hits and misses in our discovering how to eat better but like I said, we're finding a groove.

Kate has been doing really, really well.  I have no doubt that the diet as well as the therapy have had an effect.  She will still have an occasional meltdown but the rages have been less and they are far between and shorter lasting.  Nothing like what we were experiencing 2 short months ago!  Praise God for all progress!

Part of our progress was with me as well.  I had been seeing several different doctors in August trying to figure out why I was so exhausted, irritable, hormonal, irregular, forgetful (not able to concentrate on anything for any amount of time) etc... After a few tests (to see if my vitamins were low or my hormones were off) my doctor determined that I was dealing with the physical effects of stress.  She asked if there was anything in my life that was stressful and in between my laughter I cried. :)  I shared with her my struggles with Kate and she was so sweet and listened and said that that was it.

I've been dealing with stress (not just Kate, although that was heightened stress) for a couple years (don't all moms of littles go through that though?) with work, relationships, children, job changes etc...I thought I was handling it fine.  Apparently I was wrong.  My buffer of happiness was depleted.  I could go from fine to not fine waaaaaay faster than before.  Before, I could handle a bit of chaos and not blink an eye - or maybe my eye would just twitch a little.  But in the past few months chaos was causing me to lose my mind, blink, twitch and roll my eyes, as well as send me into tears way faster than I ever had in the past.  I was just not handling my stress anymore.  My reservoir was depleted and I didn't know how to build it back up.

So my Dr talked to me about a mild anti-depressant.  She was concerned that I may be anti-medication (which I'm not...I understand the need occasionally for help from medication).  I decided to try it for a couple months to see if it would give me the extra boost I needed to refill my tank to better be able to handle the stress that is inevitable.  Wow that was a crazy sentence...

Anyway, I've been on a 1/2 dose of an anti-depressant for about 5 weeks now and I really think it's helping.  I feel more like myself again.  Like I can make decisions, deal with meltdowns, not feel like I'm in a fog during the day even though I go to bed early.  More normal (whatever that means). 

I'm hoping to go off of it in the next couple months.  My hope is that my tank will be refilled and I can continue to refill it on my own.  I really think it's made a huge difference in how I deal with Kate and even with the boys.  I'm thankful to have a Dr that didn't give up to find out what the deal was!

Alright, my time is up.  See?  I didn't even hardly get started!  Oh well.  One step at a time.  Hopefully I'll be back tomorrow.   

 sig 2.0
God is the God of our yesterdays. He allows us the memory of them so we can turn the past into the ministry for the future.

"I don't think you can explain how Christian faith works. It is a mystery. And I love this about Christian spirituality. It cannot be explained, and yet it is beautiful and true. It is something you feel, and it comes from the soul."