Summer is almost over and with it, the year-round Pre-K we enrolled Pierson in. You know what that means? Kindergarten. *Que the tears forming in my eyes and computer screen becoming blurry*. My emotions are all over the place with this. One minute I'm way too jazzed about making cinnamon rolls with 3 different flavors of icing to take up to the PTA breakfast, and the next I'm thinking that maybe we could convince his Pre-K to let him be on some kind of continuous Pre-K program until he's like, 25 maybe?!? Alas, everyone we've talked to has assured us he's more than ready for kindergarten.
Wednesday after I took Pierson to school I watched him playing on the playground as I left and I just lost it. This was one of the last times he was going to play on that playground. He had a new playground to play on now, a bigger playground, at a bigger school -- a new chapter in his book.
THEN, oh then I really lost it. My heart is broken guys.
It hit me that he gets to have a new chapter of his life. We were so very close to not getting to see this day and I am so grateful that we get to send him off to kindergarten. We got to buy backpacks, lunchboxes, way too many back to school clothes (he's like a human doll for me!) a spiral notebook with a panda bear on it, two pairs of new shoes - both with blue on them, he won't wear shoes if they're not blue or if they don't have blue or red on them. I don't take these things for granted. I can't. I don't complain about the hundreds of dollars that I've spent on this. I realise how different this season could be for us if we had just suddenly lost him and I rejoice that we get to do this. Rejoicing is what I really need to be doing. You can rejoice and cry at the same time, right?!?
I pray for his teacher. I pray for his administrators. I pray for the other educators and staff who will get to work with him. I am thankful for them. I pray they "get" him. He's come such a long way. I know he's going to a great school minutes down the road, but why does it feel like I'm sending him off to China with strangers or something?
I feel like I want to stand at the door of his kindergarten classroom and yell at the other kids "You be nice to this guy, he's really special!" but I realize all I can do is make sure he understands to be kind to everyone, listens to and obeys his teacher and makes choices that honor God and our family and that reflect the man of God he is growing to be. A man of character.
In all this I realise something though: My greatest fear hasn't been realized, and my prayers - as well as the prayers of so many others to preserve, sustain and restore his life have been answered with a gracious "Yes". He's alive. Even though that dang stroke still makes so many things harder for him, he's thriving.
I feel like even though I'm grieving this change of seasons in our life that I won't be able to do that for very long. Fall is major around our house. T-ball starts in a week. Oh, and can we take a second here to talk about that?
Guess what Pierson's t-ball team is named? The BRAVES. I laughed out loud when we found out. Braves. How appropriate. I didn't even have to say anything to Pierson when we told him the team name, he said it all. "They must have known I'm brave so they put me on that team." Yep buddy, pretty much. Isn't it funny how the Lord uses even small things like that to reassure your heart? And here's the other part that is a gift. Our coach sent an email asking about some history on the boys, including health history. I tried to keep it brief, but fact filled and I go an email back from one of the assistant coaches. Want to know what her history is? Oh, you know, just 12 years of experience working with cardiac and neuro rehab patients. Yeah, so she's seen a few strokes in her day and knows exactly what to look for as far as fatigue or distress in our heart kiddo. I wanted to jump through gmail and hug her. Jehovah jireh - God provides!
Fall for us also means Mean Green football, school (of course), lots of running and training for various races, parties, fundraisers, holiday prep, State Fair or Texas, tons of family birthdays, family get-aways, and.... back to the cardiologist for P. We have no reason to believe that Pierson will have anything other than a fantastic appointment and we are praying for a perfect appointment and a smiling cardiologist who comes in and says "Looks great!" Those are the two words every heart parent desires to hear.
So here we stand, at the border of old and new, ready (or not) to start a new season. Please pray for our transition and that everything goes smoothly. Pray that we can be a blessing to others and show the love of the Lord to them as we cross the threshold in to a new stage of life.
We have so much to be thankful for.
Pierson and his vuvuzela at the FC Dallas game with HopeKids last weekend.
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