Double-Half
or One Ten without ham

... Baulücke, an infill, I suppose.

Gah, it must be frustrating to loose all those windows, all the daylight, no?

This is a facade much nicer, right?



Our house comes in a very boring grey, yet...



So glad no one can "steal" us any light!

And Ingo is a tad better, too.

"Willow" suddenly appeared on my blog when Ingo first fell so severely sick.
"She" (?) also openend my FB-Account with my name (and the front-end) in English - so she could be there for me easier, but we ended up using e-mail.

"Willow" helped explain medical stuff, she helped me stay strong.

When I couldn´t sleep at night, Willow was there with encouraging words, sometimes with fun-stuff.

I don´t know what I would´ve done without her.



I wasn´t able to tell anyone "in real life" how serious the situation was.
Someone would´ve hugged me and I would´ve broken down, I´m pretty sure - but I needed to be there for Ingo, so this was ideal.



When Ingo recovered, Willow suddenly was gone.

No answers on e-mails.
Her FB-account gone.

Maybe she - or he after all - choose the name according to the movie Willow, maybe "Willow" was a conjurer, who knows.



Monday at work Ingo started getting sick.
He is in a real bad shape since then, it´s frightening and there is again nothing much I can do but getting the documents he needs, buying food and drinks he manages to get down, go to the pharmacy and stuff like that.

And drive to work, not knowing what is going on, worrying.

It´s hard, esp after I found him collapsed to the ground twice now - whilst being at home, luckily.

His Brother offered help, I got the documents, Ingo can go see him and get checked in his MRI.
Thankfully the parents are back from Spain and can drive him in the camper, lying, if needed.

This time I told Bro and T, who is in a similar situation.
Ingo told me he fell sleep and had a happy dream with the two of us involved - cross your fingers, please, it means he´s on the way up...



I really still wonder at times like these who Willow was.
Having my name in English on FB always reminds me of who set up the account (and it´s freaky how many Germans still find me (to most I stay quiet, though)).

Come back and do some real conjuring for us, Willow, please...

Sunday I went for a "power-walk" to lake Ölper.

The plan was to circle it once, since the weather wasn´t nice my motivation wasn´t that high.



When suddenly I heard a stomping to the left that very, very slowly came nearer and nearer... Finally I very slowly was overtaken...



And no, she didn´t listen to Rammstein that loud that I could hear it!
When she finally managed to get away from me she met someone and told him how she listens to that "music" to motivate herself(sorry, call me prissy, Rammstein = music?!).
I admit, I never heard a whole song of that group and Bro and SIL even went to at least one concert of them, brrr.

She also said this was her third and last round.
Which motivated me to do two more also :-)
01:40 h of power-walking - was I glad to see this again!

On the way home we took the route via TU and funny enough I saw a student in the public bookcase really calling someone.

Ok, back then in Germany phone booths were yellow. The few remaing ones are white-purple and open, yet this looked kinda silly.

Silly btw...



I feel too old to take place, or do I?

... comes not only the need to cool down.



There comes the need to...



The things I love about Braunschweig, having a BBQ in the park (forbitten in other cities) and having your drinks cooled without being afraid someone might take it.

Pics from last Sat. Today, this arvo 4C. News-guy in the radio: "Way too cold for the season."

Well, it kinda is a mural, just not forever, not on a wall.

Made from chalk.



Because someone...



Sadly I don´t like fish or seafood, but this menu is made with so much love...



Maybe when they have something different I´ll pay a visit, no?
Reckon the food must be good, at least if the cook is as talented as the menu-"painter".

An old ad I saw and it goes for me, too.

I really don´t know anymore how a fresh love feels like - do you?
I am the old one.

There is not a thing I can do right.
But I have to accept so many things I really dislike.
For years already, too...

I´m just a woman.

Weekends.
I start to really hate them.

Post?

There is a lot of frustration due to his sickness.
It´s always there, always.
There is no break.
Since 2008 it´s present. Nearly always, I suffer, also.

There are TWO sides.
One who suffers and one who has to witness, who cares, who is scared also.

He wished me ... bad stuff, as said, frustration is big.

I have no one here who´d understand, thankfully no one is sick here.
No one is with a sick one, either, luckily.

I´m left alone and I can no more.

I don´t know how to handle this all.

I try to live as my Mum tried to teach me, positive, but how much pressure can one take.

Promises have been made (Joondalup, respect, love...) and then life kicks back in.

There is good, there is bad.
So much bad lately, I cannot play happy no more.
I didn´t play.
I took the positive.
My heart hurts of the lack of it all.

Can´t we talk?
No.
It´s all my fault, everything.

I´m used to sleep alone.
I hate it.
This and those neighbours from hell (see FB - I "can no more"...)
Did you ever have to wish you could start all over again?

Sorry, I just had to get it out...

I´m a tad behind again, pic is from Thursday when I had to go to our "old quarter", aka easterly ring area, to see my doc (routine check-up).
If you know me you can guess...

I was (way) too early.
So I walked around, cam at hand.
Here at St. Pauli my friend P married (and Ingo got creative - Bro married the same year, some day in October.



P on 07-08-09, August, 7th 2009, if one of them forgets this... no excuse, LOL.
Yes. I admit. I´m old. "If the hubs forgets"... was my first thought!!!

Oh, do I love the light half of the year! (who doesn´t?)



All the fresh colors after the long, cold dark half! Bliss!



People take care to make everything nice (I still wait, still minus-grades at night, too cold for balcony-plants - these have real earth):



If you ask yourself who Günther is and what he won.
Hm.
Even wiki won´t help me!

"Swine"? "One's weaker self", we call it Schweinehund, I gave him a name, Günther.

Actually I wanted to go back to training after my stressy visit to the doc (waiting forever!), but the weather was so beautiful that Ingo the moment I came home said, let´s enjoy the weather and go to the city!.

Yuppsi!
I sure as .. agreed, Günther won - no training that day but FUN :-)



Pics of the rest of the day are to come.

Has your "Swine" a name also or do you think this is just dumb (I can live with the latter also, just interested, maybe I´m a tad weird and no, Günther came back to life after quite a while here only, too).

Above all, life should be fun, no?

Funny, - or rather strange - when I was half-finished with this one I saw in the word "LACHE", LAUGH, the green is fading towards the end.

I remembered how we laughed ourselved a bit stupid, when he opened the bag and I put in the screws we´d just bought and they fell right through to the ground cause the bag got ripped at the cash out.

We laughed ourselves silly because we saw the other´s expression and knew we look just as dumb and surprised!

Or when I told that when I parked the car and got out the coroner came towards his car in front of mine from the other side of the street uttering badly.
And after a serious pause he laughed and said, well, reckon he just went to the store there and the price was just way too high. This is a small town, that´s how rumor goes off and suddenly we have a family that got murdered brutally making the coroner being so shocked!
Silly laughing!

Just... he, as you probably guess, is not Ingo but Bro.

Now I really came to ponder... were we like that once, too, Ingo and I?
I don´t think so!
I´m an introvert.
And Ingo is no clown.

Maybe this is something just a sibling can do (to me)?



Maybe the bond between siblings is special after all.

Does it mean our laughing hasn´t faded but was never there at all?

Really just very few occasions where we laughed but never the way I do with Bro.



(Also sad cause... last day on Cuba!)

Any thoughts/experiences on this from your side?

Well, at least this "painting" doesn´t totally look like kindergarten, right?
Everything is colored. After my "realisation" only very lightly, maybe it makes it a tad more interesting.

And no, I don´t know what to do with these "paintings", but it is fun to hold on to a motto whilst "meditating".

Each time we pass this (in Bro´s village) I´m not sure, is this cute or rather freaky, what do you think?

Same here:



Like or dislike, what do you think how these neighbours get along, huh?



Well, reckon there are many facades we cannot look behind and maybe that´s just how life should roll, huh?



You can just never be too sure...

Ingo bought himself a metal detector (don´t ask me why, I have no idea, boy´s toy?).

Well, it works, as you can see with the wedding ring, which is made of titanium.



And even if I wouldn´t wear my wedding ring Ingo could find me with that thing, see here :-)



Doctors back then advised me to keep the titanium-tile in my arm.
The material won´t do no harm, plus... I´ll never be able to break that arm again :-)
And just yet another general anesthetic wouldn´t be good anyways.

And Ingo can have fun with it, also, win-win for all!

LOL, the t-shirt fits, too, no?
Coincidence!

This year the blossom-season seems to be way shorter, also Ingo said it´s crazy most of it is over already.
But here I grabbed another full bloom-bunch with the cam in front of the school nearby.

Without HDR, but still beautiful, no?



I´m a tad behind, pics are from last Saturday.
When I decided to get rid of...



Yup...



Yes. It ended up in the wastepaper, bad Auntie-me ;-)

That was after I... or rather Ingo... bought this:



I couldn´t resist.
It was for a low price, too.
Teddy and Annie wake up in rubbish bins after Christmas - their kids threw them away cause they got new, cooler toys from Santa.
The two go on a journey to find new kids who might love them.

You know. You turn around and it´s Christmas anyways.
Oh, wait!
This year we won´t be home, we´ll be sizzling on the other side of the world :-)
Santa will have to be just extra-early!