renown

it doesn't feel like there are a lot of updates to give, although a lot has happened in the past few days.

The biggest news to us i think is that my Mom will be in ICU for months. that was not expected at all to me. i don't think my Dad expected that either.
not great news at all, but i would rather know that to prepare myself.

They have tried taking her off ECMO (the heart-lung machine) a couple times and it hasn't quite worked out yet. getting her off of ECMO would definitely be a good step.

they did take her off the heart pump though.

she had been having some internal bleeding and they did get that stopped too.

Getting this fluid off of her lungs is probably the biggest issue right now.

and her Kidneys started to have problems too so they put her on a type of dialysis.

they also put a trache in a few days ago which her vent is now attached to. and i think they are going to put in a feeding tube soon as well.

probably the hardest news to swallow was that 2 other lung transplant patients that have been on the ICU hall there with my Mom both died this past week.

it's all so much to handle. not sure how anyone might carry it all without Somebody to lean into... without Someone to trust in. Someone to trust in Who knows what's up even more than these Doctors do.
Dumping some cares on That Guy i trust in daily.

and i still have absolute hope that the God we've trusted in this far will heal my Mom. i believe that one day my Mom will be running in the backyard chasing her granddaughter, Keira... with an awesome pair of new lungs.

crazy stoked our 1st child will be here REALLY soon. in just a couple months.

one of the things i'm probably MOST excited about in the next couple months before it gets here is that Crystal and i are gonna write what we want our child to BECOME and always focus our parenting for the next 18 years on those things.
Just 5-8 simple words like "Generous" or "Revolutionary" and focus our parenting and the experiences we provide on helping our child become that type of person.

this was an awesome suggestion from a tool we give new parents at Ridge Church in an attempt to partner with them. really thankful for that.

so, here's our rough draft. it's just an initial brainstorm list. a lot of them probably bleed over into each other. really wanna narrow these to 5-8 or even less. and would like for them to all be summed up in 1 word. would LOVE any of your thoughts!

LOVE - start with knowing he/she is LOVED by me, by Crystal. then be overwhelmed with the amazing love of God. then pour out love to ALL. no matter who it is = friend, family, all ethnicities, all lifestyles, the OUTCAST, an ENEMY. live their life with the belief that LOVE WINS.

REVOLUTIONARY - radical. never satisfied with the status quo or the normal way that everyone else lives. a world changer. never worry about trying to "fit in" to an apathetic culture, but not be afraid to shake it up.

GENEROUS - i would really love our child to be a person who will GIVE, GIVE, GIVE all their lives. and if they give away too much [oxymoron]... oh well.

STORIES - i would love for our child to - from the very beginning - live a life worth telling stories about. to just GO FOR IT. go for the adventure. go have the experience. don't be timid. don't be SAFE. take RISKS. have some stories to tell.

POSITIVE - this will be a really fun challenge with the balance of power in our house with 1 eternal optimist & 1 "realist" [spelled "p-e-s-s-i-m-i-s-t"] :) haha, this will be fun. we'll see if it makes the final list. i would love our child to always believe the best... about every situation, every person, etc...

TRUST GOD - trust God no matter what. unwavering faith in a God who loves them more than they can imagine. live a life based on that radical trust.

JOY - unashamed and unbridled JOY in God. a radical pursuit of JOY in God's glory with a reckless abandon. + just a straight up enjoyment of life. it's just too short to not enjoy it. that would be silly. why do you think we're here? All about FUN all the time!

LIVE IT - authentic. just be. live. live what you believe because what you live IS what you believe. don't just talk about it, because talk is cheap. anybody can do that. live it.

THANKFUL - it's a destructive thing to not be thankful even for 1 minute. this child will have so much to be thankful for from its 1st minute on earth on... it will never catch up. it can spend a lifetime being thankful and never be thankful enough.

DREAMER - Dream BIG. not small. big vision. big goals. have a freedom to dream big and not listen to "naysayers".

RESPECTFUL - to us as parents starting out... to everyone though really.

UNIQUE - you be you. be who you are. whoever that is. i don't care. be the way God made you. Find your IDENTITY only ever and always in who God says you are in HIM.

WELCOMING - of all people all the time.

HUMBLE - this is a biggie and a toughie. i would love to help my child eradicate pride from its life. maybe it can help me. i want them to be Open Minded and never so arrogant that they think they have it figured out. i hope they never one time in life think they are "better than" anyone.

CORAGEOUS - do the right thing even if no one else is. don't back down on what you believe in. Risk! don't be afraid to FAIL. it's ok, just try it again.

SELFLESS - it's a great big world out there. lots of countries. lots of people. lots of needs. you are just one person. life is obviously NOT about you. how could we ever think that for even 1 second?

WISE - if they could somehow learn to make wise choices early on... wow.

PASSIONATE - i can't figure out another reason to wake up in the morning unless i'm passionate about something. i guess i really don't care what they end up being into - what the pursue, what activities they're involved in, what career they choose, etc.... just do whatever it is with PASSION!

RENOWN SPREADER - grow up to be a supporting cast member to the 1 renown that matters. have a desperate desire to be used by God. whatever that might look like for him/her individually.

BLESSING - we are BLESSED to be a blessing! we are so blessed & it is for no other reason than the grace of God that we are not a family living under a bridge with no food. only grace and the fact that we are blessed. so, if the reason we've been blessed so much is clearly to BE a blessing to others... why would we ever go through a day without being a BLESSING?


well, it's just a start, but we obviously have some trimming of the list to do.

do you remember growing up how you were really proud of stuff your dad did and you let everyone know it?

for me, i can remember being really proud of the fact that my dad started his own car dealership. And every time i would be with someone and we would pass Wilgrove Auto Mart on Albemarle road i would say something like "my dad did that." or "my dad started that/runs that/ owns that." Then when it moved out to Independence Blvd/HWY 74 i would pass it all the time with people and still say "my dad did that. that's my dad's place." i remember the proud feeling.

...on a seemingly unrelated note...

i really hate it that the days are getting shorter.=
for me it really stinks to wake up and it still be dark outside. the summer was awesome because at least there would be some light outside when i woke up.

but i guess i can look on the "bright side" - at least i get to see the sun come up every single morning. and that daily sun rise the past few weeks is pretty amazing.

it's better than any art you've ever seen or more beautiful than anything you've imagined.

i was definitely SHOCKED when Crystal showed me the pregnancy test. just straight shock. no other thoughts in my head at that moment even though i'm usually extremely ADD. this announcement had my undivided attention.
and for a few minutes i just felt paralyzing shock.

as the shock wore off i mentioned yesterday that "crazy exited" and "freaked out" sum up the main 2 emotions we're feeling.
But what has truly overwhelmed my heart over the past 23 weeks or so are LOVE and THANKFULNESS.


it really does not seem possible.

it's our son or daughter and it's amazing!
wow. i am floored.
i am overwhelmed with love for this child!


when i see ultrasounds of our baby moving around... i can't figure out words to describe what i feel. here's a few pics that have had me in tears:
i'm overwhelmed with love for this amazing person and i haven't even met them yet.
it's funny, because some days it still doesn't seem real.

& nope, we're not finding out the sex :)  it was what Crystal wanted to do, but i think it's pretty fun now. i'm guessing it's a boy, but i'm also wrong a lot.

i have no idea what's going on and what i'm supposed to do so i've read several books already. Crystal and i are reading The Baby Bump together month by month. she's almost 6 months now! that's insane...

The best other books i've read so far have been:
Pregnancy Sucks - For Men
both meant as a sequel to the famous Pregnancy Sucks + a statement... that pregnancy sucks for men.

The Guy's Guide to Surviving Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the First Year.

30 Things Every Future Dad Should Know about Pregnancy

all were helpful, but HONESTLY (and i pray i'm not jinxing myself...) nothing has been bad at all (for me) so far. Crystal has been amazing. not even a single mood swing i don't think. i hope they don't save it all up for like the last month or something.

gonna be a wild ride.

can't be both.

because GOOD is the enemy of GREAT.

which are you going after?

with your family? with your organization? with your calling?
we don't have GREAT families and organizations BECAUSE we have "GOOD" families, organizations, etc...

because when you already have a good _____ (you fill in the blank) you are less inclined to put in the hard work to make it great. and that's a serious problem. good is the enemy of great.

i learned this from Jim Collins in Good to Great. we have a choice --> good OR great?

one of the greatest lines i love from Jim in this book is:
"Greatness is not a matter of circumstance. Greatness is largely a matter of conscious choice." 

so what's it gonna be for you? settle for GOOD? or make the conscious choice to go for GREAT?

what are the chances that these 2 momentous days happen at the same time?

check out everything for World Water Day HERE. imho - it's pretty dumb and ridiculous that there are still countless people dying every day because the simply don't have any access to clean water.
we can fix that!

& you should wish my Mom a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY! if you're her Facebook friend you can hop on there and tell her.

Mom - thanks for being an awesome Mom all these years! you're the best. Happy Birthday!

many of these kids Crystal and i have been living with never even knew their parents. they died when they were so young that they can't even remember them.

they are so excited to show us some of the pictures they have. most of them have been in the Daraja Children's Choir in the past so they've been at Big Stuf, Catalyst, etc... & peeps took pics with them and gave them copies. so they have photo albums and are so proud to show them off.

Francis and his little sister Hannah wanted to show us their photo album. it was mainly pics from Big Stuf and choir pics.

it was an African lady holding a baby and then a small boy standing beside her (maybe 3-4 years old.)
Francis had stepped away, so i asked Hannah - "who is that?"

i thought i was prepared for that moment - i mean, we're living at an orphanage and all. all of their parents are dead. it still hit me hard though... looking at that picture that they obviously cherish. probably the 1 family photo they have.

then Crystal asked her, "What happened to your mother?"