renown

this is part 3 of 29 Things to Know Before You Hit 30.
(you can read parts 1 & 2 HERE and HERE respectively.)

another thing people need to know before they turn old (spelled "t-h-i-r-t-y")

11  Bling-free is the way to be: live beneath your means
duh. but no one in their 20s does this.
come to think of it... no one in their 30s or 40s really does this either.
but the author (Jason Boyett) made a GREAT point:

Consider the people closest to you--your friends, your fellow employees, your family. What forms the foundation for those relationships? What's the joint that keeps you together? None of us would chalk the connection up to material things: "I'm friends with Jessica because she has an awesome car." Or "I like to spend time with my sister on account of her fantastic furniture."

 great point.

+ i thought the other greatest piece of advice = Hide the Gravy. every time you get a raise, don't change your standard of living. you haven't needed it thus far, so why spend it just because it's there?
in other words, you've been used to living on $21k since you were 21, so just keep doing that & "hide" the raise...
[or better yet, i say - GIVE IT AWAY!]

this is something i must have heard Andy Stanley say a hundred times over the years.

it's something i think i've naturally tried to live out since i was 17 or 18... maybe even earlier in broader contexts.

i hope i can stay that way. every once in a while as i get all old... i sense the critic sneaking into my life. but i want to fight hard to stay the student i've always been.

because i would be a whole lot dumber if i had been a critic instead of a student all these years.
i can't even imagine all the great stuff i would have missed if i had been criticizing instead of learning.

i think this really comes down to pride for most of us. if i can stay humble, then i can probably stay a student.

but if pride takes over - that's when i'm tempted to be a critic. because i think i'm better, smarter, wiser, than the other ... therefore, i can't possibly have anything to learn from that.

what an awful way to live.

i have tried to live my life with an attitude of:

i just received my grades & comments back for 2 big research papers i wrote last semester. i am really really thankful for busy profs taking the time to write extensive feedback about specifics in my work.

SO, on these 2 big papers specifically the feedback was pretty similar.
the prof basically said the whole thing was awesome. i got a really good grade on both... not perfect but really good.
He wrote tons of specific comments and overall said that it was a "very engaging paper." That's cool, i thought... probably hard to engage a prof when he's reading 50 of these.
i think i actually affected my prof because of other specific comments he wrote.

Then he also wrote the only thing i got points docked for... and i quote:
"The writing style is great for blogging or inspirational writing, but not for graduate papers. Still, the content is excellent."
and again later:
"Good conversational writing, but not suited to seminary essays."

so, my writing style is effective & engaging BUT, not acceptable for grad school.

fair enough.
so, i gotta change the way i write to be more stuffy and hard to read. i need to not let the language naturally flow, but weigh it down in a more academic style.
i get it. that's what you want me to do. it's your school. your system, you make the rules.

but do you see why "real" books (and by "real" i mean books with a point) are so difficult to read?

because those authors probly went to graduate school somewhere & their professors made them change their writing style.

they had to write in a style that regular, average joe people don't readily and easily understand. they had to write in a style that only peeps within academia appreciate.

so, when you pick up a real book to read, the author probly writes fancy... smart... techinical... but not in a way that most humans would prefer to read.

so we either labor through those books...
or
we figure it's not worth it & just don't read it.

not that any of my profs or anyone running grad schools cares or that any of this is going to change.

unless someone wants me to be a president of a graduate school. :)


*but see, i want this stuff i'm working on to finish my master's degree & pouring mammoth amounts of hours into to be usable, profitable, beneficial to me.
to actually count for something.
and i don't mean a grade.

i don't want to have to fake fancy up a paper, just to have to go back later and translate it for myself!
maybe i'll just keep taking the deduction in points for my writing style.

a couple weeks ago i was working at a table outside Starbucks. it was a beautiful day and i was "in the zone" writing or ideating about something when the conversation of 2 college girls sitting behind me caught my attention.

it was obvious that they were both college students, probably at UNCC. 1 of them was really upset and the other friend was just trying to "be there" for her.

Because...
1 of her close friends had just committed suicide the day before.

let that sink in.

pretty heavy.

Her friend was obviously in mourning and i was putting my head phones in to try and give them some more privacy... but as i was cranking up some music i heard the friend of the girl who killed herself saying something like...

"She had posted on Facebook a couple days ago - 'my life is a mess. i don't have anything to live for.' i sent her a text and told her it's OK and that we could talk any time..."

the other girl at the table said - "Yeah i noticed her status saying that. then today i saw hundreds of people writing on her Facebook wall about how much they were going to miss her, what a wonderful person she was, how great they thought she was, etc..."

then the girl whose friend had just died got really passionate and said - "See, if all of those people would have just told her how they feel BEFORE, she would have never killed herself! Why did they wait til now?"

YOUR    WORDS   ARE   POWERFUL.

let me say that again...

your
words
are
powerful.

sitting at that table that day brought new and powerful meaning to the quip from Proverbs that = "The tongue has the power of life and death."
or, as another translation puts it = "Words kill, words give life; they're either poison or fruit—you choose."

no wonder Proverbs says that. it's because your words are more powerful than you think!

so use them wisely. use them LIBERALLY. GIVE THEM AWAY!

speak those kind words you want to say.

let those encouraging words fly off your tongue.

when you think something awesome about someone TELL THEM! don't just sit on it.

SAY IT! because who knows...
you may not get another chance.

(This was originally posted to renown on March 15, 2010.)

A few years ago I heard a pastor say "I need to be mentored by more dead guys." I've remembered that and tried to implement it into my reading/learning habits and read several books from dead guys each year. That's definitely the case this year as "Dead guys" was a whole category on my 2010 reading list which you can see HERE.

Right now I'm reading The Imitation of Christ by Thomas a Kempis. He was born in the 1300s and wrote this masterpiece in the 1400s. He was a medieval mystic - I have read those guys before and am always rejuvenated in my devotion to Jesus when I read what they have to say!

One of the greatest things I am reminded of is how crazy busy my life is and how much better I can connect to God if I simply slow down a little, take a deep breath, and create a little space for Him to invade my soul.

I completely understand where (Steven James) the writer of the intro to this translation of Imitation is coming from when he wrote: "I've been to monasteries several times on four-day silent retreats. After about twenty minutes I've had all the deep spiritual insights I can take. I start frantically looking around for a computer to check my email. I wouldn't make a very good monk."
Haha, that's totally me!

Thomas a Kempis says "he who does not try to become the least, the servant of all, cannot be at peace for very long."
I definitely need to hear stuff like that. Most of us know that climbing the corporate ladder and pushing our way to be on top doesn't really satisfy or make us happy... but we still do it anyway. We know it doesn't bring peace... just more stress. But, for some reason it's what we pursue. Those CEOs are the ones we imitate instead of Christ.

And I really love hearing a Kempis talk about "living it" over "learning it" = "What good does it do to speak learnedly about the Trinity if, lacking humility, you displease the Trinity?... I would rather feel contrition than know how to define it. For what would it profit us to know the whole Bible by heart and the principles of all the philosophers if we live without the grace of God?"

I think my heart is already beating at a slower, healthier pace and I am satisfied resting in God. I'm stoked about being mentored by this really old mystic monk! (He would currently be 630 years old!)

maybe when we talk to God we should start by addressing Him -
"God, Whoever You actually are..." & then continue...

just as a "footnote" to denote we really don't know who God is... we're just fumbling for different representations in our minds of Who He is.
the name "God" is of course inadequate for Who He actually is. it's just the best we have (for now).

This was actually C.S. Lewis' footnote to all prayers:
"He whom I bow to ONLY knows to whom I bow"
[wow. He is the ONLY one who knows WHO He is... none of us truly do. how could we?]

so since we don't know exactly who "He" is, we...
"embrace in heart Symbols (I know) which cannot be the thing Thou art."
as long as we realize this is an appropriate footnote (to keep in the back of our minds) to every prayer.


i can remember in 1 of my 1st theology classes in seminary, my prof said something like this the very 1st day... "remember - theology is just our best attempt to say something about God. it's not really who God is... it's just our educated guess."


i loved David Crowder's analogy for his album a while back A Collision. Sixsteps sent me some promo stuff back then and part of it was an explanation of the discography that you see pictured to the left. Crowder talked about that diagram of the atom. it's just a diagram. that's not REALLY what an atom looks like. it's just our best idea. our best representation.
& that's exactly what our worship is doing. it's our best effort to lift up who God is. Who we think He is at least. 

theology is our best representation too. even the name "God".

it's the best we can do.
so, when we pray we use familiar symbols (like Lewis and Crowder mentioned) - like Father, God, King, Lord, and so on. 
but we must be careful with this because, we may falsely assume that our idea of God is identical to God. 
that the real God ‘out there’ is no bigger and no different from the idea we have ‘in here’ in our heads.

yesterday was Sunday & Sunday means "church", eh? lots of different stuff was going on in lots of different churches. Lots of stuff was said & taught in the name of Jesus.

of course, probably lots of stuff was said in the name of Jesus that pissed Jesus off.
For example, here's what 1 Protestant Pastor from Macon, GA had to say:

"African Americans are exceptions to the common brotherhood of man and are sensual and stupid, lazy, improvident, and vicious... an ignorant, degraded, indolent people... who could never be equal with the white man. The inferiority of the negroes was designed by their creator."


yeah, go ahead and blurt some expletives. i'm guessing God is right there with ya.

in case my intro was misleading, these words weren't preached in a church yesterday, but written by Pastor Ebenezer Willis Warren in 1864 in a book called Southern Slavery and the Bible: A Vindication of Southern Slavery from the Old and New Testaments (full book title/cover pictured to the right)

i barely brought myself to write the above excerpt from the book and the hundreds more like it i have in front of me would make you sick to your stomach... and again, i believe God would be nauseated right there with ya.

And this isn't a singular example of Pastors using the Bible to preach that not only was slavery right, but an incomprehensible view of the color of one's skin making one "better" or "less than".

so, it boggles my mind (as i'm sure it does yours) that a Pastor wrote this book & thousands more were preaching and teaching this stuff as biblical doctrine.

it makes me so angry that i can barely continue to put sentences together.

so, let's move on to the real point of my post before i have an anuerysm. (seriously as i write this my heart rate is going crazy and i'm all worked up.)
we all know that this Pastor and those like him are so wrong, in so many ways, on so many (every) point that we wouldn't even know where to begin to address all the jacked up problems. so, we won't even waste our time.
& that's not why i'm writing.

here's the point: it boggles my mind that Pastors were saying this stuff and were convinced this was what the Bible taught/God said. and that was just 150 years ago. (and really the same "theology" continued into the 1960s... and unfortunately, probably even today.) i'm sure this boggles your mind too.
the humbling question is what will boggle the mind of Pastors 150 from now about what i write/say/teach in the same way that this boggles my mind now?

i resolve to not be so arrogant & think that won't happen.

i heard a story recently... and honestly i'm not sure what it's intended point was... you know, i'm not sure what "the moral of the story" was, but i just made up my own. applied it in my own way.
i tend to do that a lot.

the story went something like this:

a little boy was playing out in his back yard. he was maybe 9 years old.

he's playing baseball with himself - you know, throwing the ball up in the air to himself and trying to hit it.

as he's doing this he keeps saying “I’m the greatest hitter in the world. I'm the greatest hitter in the world. I'm the greatest hitter in the world.” Over & over.

he tosses the ball up... swings & misses...

Strike 1.

“I’m the greatest hitter in the world."

he tosses the ball up again... swings & misses...
Strike 2.

“I’m the greatest hitter in the world."

for the third time he tosses the ball up... swings & misses...

Strike 3.

The boy stands there for a second... then throws both arms up in the air and shouts


Someone was actually standing there watching all this happen. That person asked the boy, How do you know you're the greatest pitcher in the world?

the boy answered

is there a better way to do this?

how often do you ask that question? how often do i?
probably not often enough.

i think that when we're doing anything that matters and we STOP asking the question "is there a better way?" then we're already done. our time is almost up.

this is a really important question to ask - to ask yourself and others.
because if what you're doing DOES matter, then wouldn't you want to know a better way?

so WHY don't we ask this question?
is it because we already think we have the best way? no better way exists?
i hope not. i hope that's not the reason. because that's pretty arrogant and at that point we are SO far gone that a conversation on this subject is pointless. if we find ourselves thinking that we already have the best way then we can probably just quit at that point.

so, i'm not convinced that's the reason. i push back all the time on having to ask myself and others this Q. i don't like to ask this Question. but why?

it's hard

it takes more TIME

more effort

it makes it obvious that we're not the expert/ we don't know everything

it's very uncomfortable

it takes a little bit of humility

if we discover there is a better way then we'll have to STOP doing it our current way and make the necessary changes.

and that is hard.

so, it is EASIER to just keep doing it the same way and not even rock the boat.

but again, let's ask ourselves - is this something that MATTERS? is it worth doing? then it's worth doing better right? if it really matters that much.

maybe the best question to ask ourselves in these moments when we want to bail on doing the hard work of figuring out a BETTER WAY is...

(I originally wrote and posted this to renown on February 10, 2010.)

Earlier this year I finished reading my 1st book written by the late, great missiologist David J. Bosch. He is the guru, but I've never read an entire book he wrote. But I recently finished Believing in the Future: Toward a Missiology of Western Culture and it was great stuff.

He applied much of his expertise in cross cultural mission to our mission here in the West [as it rightly should be applied the same!].

So, I know there are TONS of things we (in the West) should learn from African theology, but this is just one thought from Bosch on what we would do well to take from them


and along those lines...

so i was reading some Clark Pinnock back before Christmas and was about to Tweet and/or post as my Facebook status "Reading some Pinnock today"
...then i changed my mind because i didn't feel like getting a lot of HATE comments and hate mail and HATE TWEETS that day. i just wasn't in the mood.

and then i had a question...

do people still HATE on someone after they're dead?

Clark Pinnock actually passed away over a year ago. i remember reading about it when it happened HERE and all over the web.
i was bummed because i think his thinking contributed a lot to the conversation.

i started reading Pinnock back in college. because of a certain 50 page research paper i wrote back then on a topic that he was in the thick of - i REALLY had to wrestle with what he was saying. back then i disagreed with him but could appreciate where he was coming from. no way was he crazy... probably more brilliant than all the rest of us.

so, i've continued to read some Pinnock ever since.

...to the disgust of pretty much everyone i know :)

in fact, at my 1st job out of college, i remember reading a then recent Pinnock book. i made the mistake of showing it to my friend and co-worker in the office next door and he promptly THREW the book across the room to me and said something like "get that away from me."

wow. just a book, man.

(but it's always been crazy to me how people can actually HATE a person because of their views. but that's a blog for another day.)

so i was just curious - do you still hate on someone after they're dead?
i was curious that day... could i have Tweeted that i was reading Pinnock and would the haters still come out of the woodwork?
OR
does all that change when the hated upon dies?


anyway, didn't matter because i didn't tweet it, but now i'm writing about my curiosity.
and maybe it will enable me to find out the answer to my Q

and just in case any of you are wondering why i would even dare continue to read Pinnock... maybe because of stuff he writes openly and honestly like this:

(you can read some of my earlier thoughts on innovation HERE & HERE.)

whether you realize it or not, innovation is vitally important to the world we live in. i would argue that it is foundational to this increasingly postmodern world.

and the NECESSITY for INNOVATION will only INCREASE, imho.

Some futurist experts say this about the way our world is changing:

for the past several years i have posted my Reading List for the upcoming year.

this year my "reading list" will be a lot different in that much of it will be handed to me via required reading lists for my graduate classes. so i won't actually be personally choosing most of the books i read.
Over 20 books already that i've been required to read just for this 1st semester! at that rate i'll read over 60 books in required reading alone for school this year!
Instead of including those in this reading list, i'll attempt to keep them all up to date in my Visual lists on the right side of this blog = books i'm currently reading & books i recently finished. i usually try to write a little summary of what i thought of them too.

So, as you'll see below, i'm trying to keep my personal picks for a reading list to just over 10 for 2012.

+ I always reserve the right to pick up a different book & bump these off the list & insert the good/better stuff! There's a good chance a book will come out in 2012 that i will want to read, but below is my best attempt to keep me focused on what i need most.


Naked Spirituality - Brain McLaren
He's probably my favorite author, so i try to read at least one book from him every year. this is his newest that i started reading last year and it has affected me "spiritually" maybe as much as any other book i've ever read. powerful. and i'm obviously reading it very slowly... trying to take it all in. most excited about this book.

Start Something That Matters - Blake Mycoskie
Trying to do this very thing in 2012 and thankful to learn from someone who did it recently and did it well.

Radical - David Platt
Very expectant. looking for this to shake me up even more. i don't think we can ever be radical enough, so i'm not scared in the least.

Entreleadership - Dave Ramsey
No secret i'm a big fan of Dave. As much for his leadership genius as his $ genius. thankful to have that leadership style in a book now. i've been called a "Ramsey-ite" so i'll let you know if i am on the leadership side as well.

Parenting Beyond Your Capacity - Reggie Joiner and Carey Niewhof
Been planning to read this book for years to help us better partner with parents at Ridge Church. now i'm reading it for 2 reasons.

Switch: How to Change Things When Change is Hard - Chip and Dan Heath
These guys wrote the best book i read in 2010 - Made to Stick. so if this one is half as good as that one i'll be elated.

The Power of Full Engagment: Managing Energy, Not Time, Is the Key to High Performance and Personal Renewal - Jim Loehr and Tony Schwarz
i carried this one around for about a month last year and never got started on it. need to read it this year!

Real Marriage: The Truth about Sex, Friendship, and Life Together - Mark & Grace Driscoll
Every year i read at least 1 book on marriage and 1 book on sex. This year i'm killing 2 birds with 1 stone + i know i'm pretty much guaranteed Driscoll will make me laugh.

How to Write a Great Business Plan - Harvard Business Review
In this process as well... figured i should try to learn how to do it right.

The Love Dare - Stephen Kendrick
Crystal and i are going to try this again in 2012.

The 17 Indispensable Laws of Teamwork - John Maxwell
Desperately want to master and leverage creating and sustaining great teams. almost finished with this book.

The Pocket Guide to Adulthood: 29 Things to Know Before You Turn 30 - Jason Boyett
really NEED to read this one this year! it's my last chance...

Holy Discontent - Bill Hybels
thinking and hoping it's much like Andy's Visioneering... just shorter and easier.

+ i know i'll be reading several more parenting books... just haven't picked them out yet. and i'm reading a few baby sleep & schedule books per Crystal's request. can't remember the names of them though?


ok, & below is another list of books i'll read this year, but they don't really "count" in the above list that i tried to keep to 10. BECAUSE they're either my 1 Fiction/fun book for the year, or an audio book, or a book i'll read in "waiting" time in shorter segments.

What the Dog Saw - Malcolm Gladwell
The Grand Design - Stephen Hawking
A Briefer History of Time - Stephen Hawking
SImply Strategic Volunteers - Tony Morgan & Tim Stevens
Making It All Work - David Allen
Taste and See - John Piper
Knowing God - J.I. Packer
SuperFreakanomics - Levitt & Dubner
and last but not least...
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - J.K. Rowling

i would LOVE to know YOUR 2012 reading list AND any thoughts on mine above... have you read any books on my 2012 reading list and would you recommend them or tell me i'm wasting my time?

we would all do well to take a page from Howard Schulz's book. Schulz was the mastermind behind Starbucks.

this was his mantra & i love it. the world would be different if many of us adopted it as our mantra as well:

it's becoming somewhat of a tradition for me on renown to post the top 10 books i read each year. (Top 10 list from 2010 HERE. Top 10 from 2009 HERE.)

my planned reading list did change a lot when we found out we were pregnant because i read several books like: Pregnancy Sucks for Men; The Guys Guide to Surviving Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the First Year of Fatherhood; and 30 Things Future Dads Should Know About Pregnancy. but only 1 full on pregnancy/baby book made the list.

*some may accuse me of cheating, but as i often do in my Top 10 lists i have a 3-way tie for 10th.
so, here we go - the Top 10 books i read in 2011:

#10  Getting Things Done - David Allen 
fairly boring read but BRILLIANT strategy & system for productivity. i've implemented the system and it's awesome. worth the boring read.

#10  Evil and the Justice of God - N.T. Wright
good book that caused me to think, but Wright never really offers many helpful solutions.

#10  In This Place - Kim Abernethy
part 1 of a Memoir from a good friend of mine. a moving and emotional account of her time as a missionary in Liberia. a great read.

#9  Freakanomics - Steven Levitt & Stephen Dubner
BRILLIANT book. these guys are WAY smart and see how the world works differently than anyone else. very "Gladwell-ish". again, the reader is left to come up with practical application on his/her own. but wow... brilliant & fascinating stuff.

#8  Emotional Intelligence 2.0 - Travis Bradberry
the latest on emotional intelligence - complete with a test to rank yourself + strategies to improve. extremely practical action plans.

#7  Strengths Based Leadership - Tom Rath
The newest book in the Strengths revolution. This one focuses on helping leaders lead from their strengths and how to recognize and lead others through their specific strengths.

#6  Fields of Gold - Andy Stanley
awesome little book on what God and Paul said about giving. so simple, yet so powerful. it's pretty obvious what money is for and the reason God blesses it with us. if we want to keep being blessed with more we better be giving it away. thanks to Andy for making it so painstakingly clear.

#5  The Likeability Factor - Tim Sanders
almost like a modern Carnegie with a new "9 Ways". very relevant and practical.

#4  Under the Dome - Stephen King
wow. the best ever from the best ever. over 1,000 pages and i couldn't put it down. this thing kept me up until i fell asleep with it on my face at 4am many mornings. it was like Lost meets The Stand meets Lord of the Flies. simply brilliant.

#3  Love Wins - Rob Bell
yep, loved it. very moving. very powerful. very refreshing. i didn't even read any heresy... which may make me a heretic for saying that, but nothing i can do about that i guess? and please, don't send me hate comments or mail until you have actually held the book in your own hands and read it cover to cover. happy to have a conversation then.

#2  The Baby Bump - Carley Roney + thebump.com
this is the 2nd best book i read in 2011, but largely based on context of the timing i read it in. it was SO helpful for me. i recommend it to every soon-to-be dad to figure out what the heck is going on during pregnancy and after. so helpful, practical, and easy to follow.

#1  Humility - Andrew Murray
i've already written on this book several times including HERE, HERE, HERE, and HERE. so, i don't need to say much more other than i never expected this book to be the best book i would read all year, but WOW. it rocked my world. SO thankful for this little book i picked off my late grandmother's shelf. changing my life...

Demosthenes was one of the greatest orators in Greek history. he was a legit communicator and still recognized today as one of the greats.

after a "short break" that has now lasted OVER 4 YEARS... i'm headed back to school to finish my Master's Degree.

My 1st class starts Monday. I'm currently a little over halfway through the degree. It's a Master of Arts in Leadership or a Master of Arts in Religion with the focus in Leadership... haven't quite figured out which i am technically doing because it's the exact same classes for both.

it's at the same seminary i started at = Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary. i love that place and my time there so far has been awesome. It's actually located up in Boston, but there is a really nice campus here in Charlotte and the professors are amazing.

i've only got 9 classes left + a Thesis to write.
i'm going to try to be on the fast track and knock this thing out in just a little over a year by going full time this Spring, Summer, & Fall.

i'll actually take 1 or 2 of my remaining classes at Harvard up in Boston. Gordon-Conwell is in some type of partnership with Harvard that allows students from either school to take a certain number of classes at the other for their degree.
i'm definitely looking forward to sitting in a Harvard classroom.

i'm pretty pumped about some of the awesome classes and profs i'll have here at GCTS too.
For example, starting Monday i am in a class all week with a prof i'm really excited about. He is actually a long time Cambridge Professor in the PhD department! And he just comes to Gordon-Conwell to teach this class in his specialty... then heads back to Cambridge for the semester. should be awesome. never had a Cambridge prof before.

some more of my remaining classes include:
The Leader as Communicator (focus on casting vision & creating organizational culture)
Foundations for Leadership
Team and Team Building
Issues in Sexual Ethics and Bioethics
Managing the Non-profit Organization
Biblical Theology of Leadership
Managing Conflict
just to name a few.

i'd like to go ahead and make this clear. i don't really give a rip about a degree. a certificate with my name on it & some letters after it is worthless, imho.
trust me, the pursuit of a degree is SOOOO not why i'm subjecting myself to all these THOUSANDS of pages of reading, staying up late & getting up early working on school stuff, pulling all-nighters to write research papers, and spending a ridiculous amount of money on tuition.

the #1 reason that far outweighs all others = to grow, learn, improve, better myself, to be a better leader, and to hopefully gain tools that will help me on this world-changing mission i'm on...

#2 - to finish what i started.

#3 - to not waste what i've already done = half a degree. all that time, hard work, and MONEY.

#4 - my wife made me. she said now's the time to go back when Keira is so young and i'm not missing her soccer games or ballerina performances or whatever it is little girls do. this is pretty much my last & best chance.

so it's back to school time for me. gonna be a lot busier for a while, but i'll manage.
& hopefully i'll emerge at the end of this journey as a radically better leader. that's the goal.

How can YOU be the change?

i think that's a phrase my kid(s) are going to get SICK of hearing me say. i'm thinking a lot more about parenting these days... since i am one of those now. Crystal and i are both thinking a lot more about it. we're talking about it all the time -- what kind of parents we want to be, what kinds of things we want to do for our kids, WHO we want them to be, etc...

and it's real now because Keira is here. so it's not just a nebulous idea.

but i think Keira will get sick of hearing me say to her "How can YOU be the change?"

let's say that she comes home from school & there is a kid that EVERYONE is making fun of/being mean to. the teacher didn't really seem to even care. Keira is bothered by it. i'm going to ask her - "How can YOU be the change that needs to happen?"

or maybe our neighbor has surgery and their yard is a wreck. Keira complains that it looks so ugly. "well, how can YOU be the change?"

and there are a million other examples.

EITHER:
she will get so sick of hearing me say this phrase that she will stop complaining about anything or talking about anything that isn't right in the world for fear that i will prod her to think about changing it...

OR:
she will change the world.

i hope it's the 2nd one.

and the below isn't all that related to the above but it's just a thought that i resonate with and agree with wholeheartedly. it's how i want us to parent Keira and any other kids God blesses us with...

My wife's grandmother from New York has had the privilege to stay at our house and hang out with Keira twice since she's been born. and in that time i've probably heard this story about a half dozen times.

just letting you know up front that this is a true story! i didn't make it up and i didn't just steal it from something i saw on Tosh.0 or Ridiculousness.

here you go:
back in the day when my father-in-law was a baby, his mom (my wife's grandmother) was driving through town and made a U-turn...
he straight up fell out onto the street on his head!
out of a moving car!

she got out of the car, threw him back in the back seat, and kept driving.

wow.
hard to top that one.

and he turned out just fine (you know, for the most part). she seems like she was a wonderful mother & of course this kind of thing wasn't the norm.
but hey, stuff happens. we're all going to make mistakes. i'm sure i'll make TONS. thousands. i'm trying not to, but i'm sure i will.

but when i make those mistakes i'm going to remind myself of this story and say to myself "at least i didn't eject my baby onto the street from a moving car."

hopefully i never top that one.