It's Friday, well it's almost Friday so that means that it is time for another dose of Faithful Friday. A little inspirational thought or quote to maybe perk up your day or to make you think a little bit. Today's quote isn't a real thinker, it's just a nice simple quote. Lets see if we can get more than five comments today. I would love for you all to participate this week by telling me something nice you did for another person. Today's quote is:

"A friendly look...a kindly smile, one good act, and life's worthwhile."

Today I was walking into a store and as I was approaching the double doors I saw an elderly lady trying to open the big glass door. I could tell as I was walking up to the store that she was having trouble getting the door open. As I got closer to the entrance I could see that the lady had a huge cast on her leg and was trying to open the door while keeping her balance on two crutches. I jogged up to the door and opened it the rest of the way for her. She walked out the door, stopped and smiled at me and said, "Why thank you sweetie, nobody has tried to help me all day. Thank you for your help." I smiled at her and told her that it was no problem.

So, now it's your turn. Have you recently done something to make it just a little easier for another person? Have you helped somebody out by doing something nice?

Starting in November I will be participating once again this year in National Blog Posting Month. That is where you post every day of the month. It is harder than it sounds. If there is anything you would like to know, or something you would like me to blog about leave me a comment and tell me. I have lots that I want to blog about, but I would really like some other ideas as well.

Have a great weekend!

Have I kept you in suspense long enough? Are you ready to see what I was for the Halloween Costume party I went to on Saturday? Well, I've decided it's time to show you, but first I will show you a few other pictures and tell you about the night.

I got to my friends house a little early so we could help each other get into our costumes. We had tons of fun getting ready and shared many, many laughs. People started arriving at the party a little after 8:00. The party itself was tons of fun. My friend Kim, really wanted there to be lots of single guys there for me. Unfortunately, there were only a few other single girls there, so there were no good date prospects there. Oh well, I had a great time anyways. Around 11:00 p.m. the party started getting a little crazy, and as the night went on it got crazier and crazier. It was a little crazier than I'm used to. The people at the party really knew how to party, and well I just don't. A little after 1:00a.m, yes I said 1:00 a.m. people started dancing. I HATE to dance. I have no rhythm, none at all. I just don't have the personality to cut loose on the dance floor. So for a while I stood back and watched everyone else dance. Oh my lord, did they dance! After a while I thought I probably looked like a stuck up snot standing in the corner. So I figured what the heck. I then started dancing like I have never danced before. It was actually lots of fun and I'm glad I finally loosened up a bit and enjoyed myself. We danced from then until about 3:30 in the morning. I danced the entire time in the sweetest shoes ever (see pic below) but man eight hours and dancing in those shoes, my feet were so sore! I had no idea that the party would go on that long. I figured I would be snug in my bed by 2:00 am at the latest. Nope! Like I said, those people could party!! I don't think I have partied like that ever! Around 3:30 a.m people started going home. At that point I thought it was too late to drive home, so I just crashed at my friends house. I was so so tired I thought I would fall asleep before my head it the pillow. It turns out that I can't sleep without my pillow, my blankie or fan. I was wide awake until 7:00 a.m. I don't think I slept for more than 20 minutes. Finally at 7:00 I decided enough was enough and I headed for my own bed.

I had a GREAT time! There was nice people, great food, good music, and lots and lots of dancing. I really enjoyed myself. A few pumpkins decorating part of the house.

I thought this napkin was cute. Just so that you all know, I only had one drink very early on in the night. I had tons of fun without the drinking.

The eye ball jello shot! No idea what the eyeball was made out of, but it felt so gross in my mouth!

Are you ready to see my costume? Any ideas? I bet none of you would have ever guessed that I was a.....

PLAYBOY BUNNY!!! I wanted to be something simple like a witch or a ghost, but my friend said that I needed to be something that had a wow factor in it. Well, she found this costume and I ended up being a Playboy Bunny! Who would have thought?! The black one piece outfit I got at Maurices, yes a real clothing store. No idea who, or where a person would actually wear this outfit to, but it was on clearance for only $7, so I grabbed it. The cuff links, bow tie, tail, and ears was a set at a craft store for $12. So for $19 I had my entire costume. I didn't think that was too bad. I already had the awesome orange heels from a purchase earlier this summer. I don't think you can see it really well in the picture, but I got the brightest, shiniest, bluest eye shadow I have ever had and gobbed that on my eyes. Then I got blue liner and did the whole cat eye liner trick. Lots of glitter mascara, lots of bronzer, and lots of violet colored lip stick with tons of gloss. Big hoop earrings and my costume was complete. I don't know but I think I ended up pulling it all off ok. Maybe the hours spent in the gym everyday are paying off.

Michael Jackson, Playboy Bunny, and Zombie. (Aka...Mark, myself and my friend Kim)

Kim and I before everyone else got there.

Another shot of me.
Two random penguins and a playboy bunny.

Another Michael Jackson, Slash, and Zombie

Red Riding Hood, Zombie, yet another Michael Jackson, and Playboy Bunny

Last but not least the awesome shoes that I wore for eight straight hours. Boy were my feet sore the next day. Wait, I'm lying, my toes are still tingling from wearing them three days later.

Hope you liked the pictures. I also hope you all took a good long look at me looking like that. I guarantee, you will NEVER see me dressed as a Playboy Bunny EVER again.

This is the post where I'm going to tell you about what happened to me on Friday. There are lots of details that will be in this post, so it may get a bit long. Please stick with me and try to finish. I think you will all be amazed or slightly wigged out, not sure which one yet. I'm still trying to make up own mind about what happened. If you leave a comment I would like to know your thoughts on this whole thing.

First a little background.
I think I have mentioned this before but just in case I will mention it again. There are three other ladies here in town that I have become very close friends with. All of our husbands suddenly passed away within three weeks of each other. We all used the same funeral home, and between the three week span we were all at the funeral home with each other, without knowing one another. Anyways, we have since become amazing friends and we hang out and spend time with each other almost weekly.

Earlier this spring a few of the ladies mentioned that they wanted to get in contact with something called a Medium. A Medium is different from a Psychic in the way that a Medium gets in touch with spirits (if the spirits are available and want to be contacted) and a Psychic looks into your future. Well they all wanted to talk with a well known Medium to see if they could find out about the spirits of their husbands. I was VERY hesitant about the entire thought of this. For one I'm not entirely sure if I believe in the entire topic of getting in touch with the spirits. I just don't know and I also think it could be an easy way to scam people out of money. Especially people who are so eager to hear from the spirits of their passed loved ones. I also didn't want the Medium to tell me anything I didn't want to hear. I didn't want the Medium to tell me that Shawn was unhappy with what or how I have been doing. Well, a few of them went and were totally shocked with the results from their readings. Each of them walked away with a sense of peace because the Medium told them certain things about their life with their husbands without knowing anything about them. I was so happy that they were relieved and at peace with their readings, but was still hesitant to say the least. I just didn't think it was something for me.

Well on Friday afternoon I went with one of the ladies to a W omen's Expo that was being held at a local college. There were hundreds of vendors there all related to women's health. Where the two of us started just happened to be with all the Medium's, Psychics, and Tarot Card readers. The lady I was with talked about getting a reading. Once again I was on edge with the whole thing. I kind of wanted to get a reading, but then again I wasn't sure if I believed in that type of thing so I didn't want to. Well, while my friend was setting her purse down the Medium came up to me and said hi. I said hi back, but admit I was kind of snotty acting with her. She turned and looked at me and then said, "I see several spirits are with you right now" I just looked at her and thought...Yeah, sure there are. I waited at another table while my friend got her reading done. At this point I decided that I would get my reading done, more or less for shits and giggles than anything else. After all, since I didn't believe in it if she told me something I didn't like I would just tell myself that it was a scam, and not to worry about it.

Ok, hang on to your seats here...

When it was my turn I went up and sat in the chair. I put my purse on the floor and I sat down. The Medium told me she wanted to give me a hug to get more in touch with my auora, but to be honest her perfume smelled god awful and I didn't want the smell to rub off on my clothes so I told her no. Plus it's cold and flue season, I'm not hugging just some random person. (yes, I'm also a germ freak) Anyhow back to the story.... I sat down and she looked at me and told me that I'm a very grounded person. I just shook my head in agreement. She told me that it looked like I had my head on straight, and she also said that her feelings were telling her that I'm a stubborn person. Yes, I do tend to be a little on the stubborn side, but again I just shook my head. She then went on to say that her feelings were telling her that I have been through some very trying times over the last 15 months. At first she couldn't tell what it was but then after a while she said that it was a sudden death, then she said that it was the death of my husband. I shook my head once again. The Medium then went on to say that his death was unexpected and that we didn't get a chance to say good-by before he passed away. At first she said that Shawn died in a car accident, but after a few minutes she said no that it was a sudden health problem. As you all know, Shawn passed away from a sudden and massive heart attack at 30. Once again, I just sat there and nodded my head. (she never called Shawn by name, just my husband)

Then the she told me that I had healing spirits all around me and that she could tell that even though I have awesome family and friends, it's always me trying to take care of everyone else. She told me it is hard for me to let my family or friends take care of me. Yup. She then said that she could sense that I wanted to go back to school, something in the health care field. I said, well yes kind of, but never told her what I wanted to go to school for. Then, after a few more minutes she said that I wanted to go back to school and help people with my hands. Uh yeah, I want to go back to school for massage therapy. After a few seconds of her sitting there with her eyes closed she told me that yes my husband was there with us and that he wanted to "talk" as well. She told me that my husband said that he wants me to go back to school. She asked me if Shawn and I ever talked about me going back to school and all I said was yes. She said that Shawn wants me to go back and do this because it is something that he thinks I would be great at. I had major goose bumps.

Then she tells me that Shawn wanted me to know that he was sorry that he had to leave me so fast. However, he knew that it was his time to go. He knew it was his time because he was put on our earth to help teach me lessons in life. Lessons that I learned from him that I would always carry with me in my future, lessons that would always impact my life. Once he felt that I was ok, then he knew he would be leaving me. Uhm, when she told me this I about burst into tears, but somehow held it together. She also told me that Shawn wanted me to know that it is ok for me to be happy again, that he wants me to be happy. He said that he knows I will find love again one day and that won't mean that I will ever stop loving him, because he will always be with me. Once again, goose bumps and eyes filled with tears.

She also sensed that since his death I have questioned my faith and have been trying to figure things out on a spiritual and religious front. I mean, how would she know that I have started going to church? Weird....

Ok, if you aren't sitting down do so now what she told me next almost made me fall over:
She asked me that since Shawn was there with us she wondered if I had any questions for him or wanted to tell him anything. Gulp....I said out loud that I wanted Shawn to know that I love him so much and that I miss him more than I ever thought I would. Once again she asked if I wanted to ask him anything. I said, yes. Then, I told her I just wanted to make sure that Shawn was happy, and that he was ok. She closed her eyes for a few seconds and then said that Shawn's spirit said that yes he was happy, and that since being "here" is the best he has ever felt in his entire life. (Eyes filled once again) Then she closed her eyes for another few seconds and she came back saying that Shawn wanted me to know that, " We are ok" she stopped talking for a split second, then said, "He wants you to know that your baby is with him and that the two of them are constantly with you and watching over you." I can't even begin to tell you what happened when she told me that. I have no idea how I kept it together, but somehow I did. I had goosebumps the size of Canada on my arms, and my eyes were full of tears and I had the strangest feeling come over me.

She also told me two other things, but they are very private and I can't share them here with you, but I will say there is NO way she could have known about those other two things. Just no way.

After she told me about Shawn and the baby watching over me I got to tell Shawn that I love him. Then my time was up and I got up from the chair and paid the Medium my money. (Don't worry it was not crazy expensive) After our time was up and I stood up she looked at me and said, "You are good aren't you?" I told her yes for the most part, I still have difficult times, but yes I was doing ok. Then she told me not to give up, that I will continue to walk through this, and that I will be happy again. She then looked at me, put her hand up to her heart and said, it was something heart related wasn't it. I didn't do anything. Then she said that my heart was broken, but that it was something in Shawn's heart that lead to his death. I just looked at her and walked towards my friend with huge goose bumps all over my entire body.

I told my friend about what she said and my friend and I just looked at each other. There is NO WAY she could have known any of that. There is no way because I didn't tell her ANYTHING about me or about Shawn...NOTHING AT ALL!

I left there not knowing what to think or to believe. Like I said there is no way she could have known all of this stuff about me. As soon as I got to my car I called my friends Jennie, and Meg to see what they thought. They were both against me doing this earlier for the same reasons I was. As I was telling them they both just sat there amazed at what I was saying. I honestly don't know what to think. I have never really believed in this type of "stuff" before. However, then again, maybe my mind was turned off to it because I never had a reason to believe it.

It feels really odd to say but I do still feel Shawn with me. I'm not talking about the things he taught me, or about what I learned from our life together. Rather, I mean there are times when I really feel him with me. Almost like he brushes up against me really quick and it makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. That has actually happened to be several times since he has passed away. I don't know how to explain it, but it always seems to happen at moments I need him the most.

Jennie asked me how I felt about the reading. I told her that oddly enough it didn't freak me out. In fact it was just the opposite, I left the reading with an extremely peaceful feeling. In an odd way it was like I got to spend time with Shawn and talk to him once again. I was so happy to know that he is doing ok, and it felt amazing to know that he and our baby are watching over me and are always with me. I'm so grateful that Shawn wants me to be happy again one day. It didn't feel creepy or freaky at all.

I hope you all don't think I have totally lost it or anything like that. I'm still not sure how I feel about all of it. I have to believe that Shawn's spirit was there because there is just no way that she could know that much about our life together, there just is no way, I didn't tell her anything. Yes, I know there are horrible people out there who scam others, especially others who want to get in touch with their loved ones, but I don't think this is the case. I really feel like it was Shawn, her words were some of the exact phrases that Shawn would use. For now I'm going to believe that I did get to speak to Shawn. I'm going to rest in the peaceful feeling I got from this.

So tell me after reading this do you believe in the "powers" of Mediums? What are your thoughts on this topic. I would love to hear any experiences that any of you have had like this.

First of all I want to tell you that something 'happened' to me today. Don't worry, I am fine. However, today I experienced something very odd, but yet very peaceful feeling and kind of unbelievable all at the same time. I want to share it with you all, but it's the weekend, and well not many people have time to read on the weekends. So instead of doing the Halloween costume post on Monday, I'm going to keep you in costume suspense for another day and tell you about my experience today on Monday instead. Then later in the week I will finally tell you all what I was for the Costume party. But for now lets get on to Faithful Friday.

"God gives us always strength enough and sense enough for everything he wants us to do."
John Ruskin

(This quote has a little to do about what happened to me today.) I've said it before and I'm sure I will say it again. Two years ago if somebody would have told me that Shawn was going to die and I'd have to learn to live without him I would have just laughed in their face. There would have been no way I would have said I would have been able to get through "this" Two years ago if somebody told me my husband was going to die, I would have said to dig a whole next to him, because that is where I want to be.

Obviously 14 months later I did not choose to be put in my own hole. I did not choose to die with Shawn, instead I decided to face my grief head on, and I decided how to learn to live again. Although, that is one of the hardest things I have ever and will probably ever do in my life. When people comment on how "well" I'm doing I have always responded with, "Shawn always said I was stronger than I gave myself credit for. In our life together Shawn, taught me how to be strong." I've also told people that I would have never of gotten through this without Shawn's strength as well. In responding to me people would also say that they agree with what Shawn said about me being strong. Many would tell me that, "God doesn't ever give you more than you can handle" At first, I would get angry when people would tell me that. I NEVER EVER wanted to be this strong. I never wanted to learn how to live again without my husband, or our child. I NEVER asked to be this strong. I liked being little Jenny who depended on my husband.

Looking back at it now I do believe that both Shawn and God has given me the strength that I've needed to live through the worst time of my entire life. I truly believe that Shawn was in my life to teach me this and that strength is something that I will carry with me the rest of my life. I'm grateful for the strength from Shawn and from God, because I know without that I would not have gotten through this grief as "gracefully" as I have. That is not saying that every day has been a walk n the park, because that is for sure not the case. I know that in the future I will be able to handle most anything that is passed my way because of this strength.

Remember, you never know how you will handle a situation unless you are faced with that situation. God and the people you surround yourself with will help give you the strength you need to face it.

What does this quote mean to you? Please share your thoughts with me.

Please stay tuned for Monday's post. I think you will all be amazed at my story.

Are you all excited for this post? The post where I talk about dating. Don't get too excited just yet, there haven't been any actual I dates, it's just going to be a post where I talk about dating.



I'm finding it really funny that now at 14 months since Shawn's death people are asking me if I have gone out on dates, or if I'm ready to start dating. I mean seriously everyone is asking me this. I got my nails done the other day and a few of the girls in the salon asked me. I took Bo outside the other day and our neighbor asked me (more on this one in a bit). One of the trainers at the gym asked me if I was "ready to get back out there"? My friends here are bound and determined to "hook" me up with just the right guy. Hell, I saw my friends' mom yesterday in the parking lot of the gym and even she said she was hoping there would be a good selection of single guys for me to pick from at this weekend's Halloween party. Everyone is telling me that I'm so pretty, yadda, yadda, yadda and have so much to offer that the guys will be lined up around my block. Uhm, I guarantee that is NOT happening, NOT even close to it! I'm telling you it's almost like people were waiting for the "politically correct one year" to be up so they could start setting me up. I think it's all kind of funny, but at the same I kind of like it because I really don't know too many people here, I'm totally new to the entire thought process of dating and you know what?...At 14 months later, I do feel like I'm ready to start dating again.



When I tell you I'm knew to the whole dating thing, I really mean it. I wasn't the girl in high school who had lots of boyfriends. Total opposite really. I didn't even go out with anybody until my Senior year. For about three months I dated Shawn's cousin. (Ok, this is a different story for a different time, but it was before I knew Shawn) Then, I briefly dated (when I say briefly I 'm talking like a month) the guy I went to prom with, but it was nothing serious at all and that was it. Two "boyfriends" my entire time in high school. I started dating Shawn in January 1996 halfway through my first year of college. We started out as "just friends", then progressed to dating, then boyfriend and girlfriend and about eight months after our first date we said "I love you" to each other. The rest is history. We dated for two years, were engaged for two years, and married for almost eight. Shawn was it, I knew deep down after only our second date that we were going to end up together.



I never in a million years thought at a week shy 32 years old I would have to worry about dating ever again. I don't know if I really even know how to date? Do you think it is something that I can pick up again? Is it like riding a bike, and you never really forget, but it will just take a little practice? I really am excited to "get back out there" and to start dating, but at the same time it is kind of nerve wracking as well. I hate to say it, but I'm kind of a picky person. I know what I want, and well, that's what I want. I'm not into playing games with somebody. I don't want to string along anybody, and I sure as hell don't want to be strung along either. That is what scares me about dating again. What if I meet somebody and we hit it off, things are going great and then all of a sudden something goes wrong and we both have our feelings invested in the relationship and one of us gets hurt. I don't want to be hurt somebody and I don't want to be hurt either. I keep telling myself that if that happens it just wasn't meant to be anyways. I tell myself that I dealt (and am dealing) with the pain of losing Shawn, and well I don't think anything could ever be as bad as that...ever. So, I'm sure I would get through a breakup, but at the same time it's a scary thought.

I also wonder about the pasts that people have. When I met Shawn we were young, neither of us had any previous relationships or anything. We knew each other if you know what I mean. Now, I'm so much older. At first I wasn't interested in dating a person who had been married before or who had kids. I didn't want to date somebody with "baggage", then I started thinking and I changed my mind. I have "baggage" myself now. My husband died, and then I miscarried our child. I could imagine that could be very intimidating for a guy on the other end. What I have come to realize is yes, I'm 32 years old. Guys my age that I want to date will probably more than likely have some sort of past. Just like I have. I want my future partner to be understanding to that, and I need to be understanding to their past as well. I just have to put my trust and faith in that as I get to know them more we can work through our pasts together.

I know who ever I date in the future will never be like Shawn. Nobody will ever be like Shawn. To be honest with you that is ok with me. I think it would be really odd to date a person who was "just like" him. However, what made me realize that I was ready to date again is the amazing relationship that Shawn and I had. Again, I know no other relationship will be like my relationship and marriage with Shawn. We had a great and very special relationship, full of love,respect, and honor for each other. The love, respect, and honor we had for each other is what made me realize that I'm ready to date. I want to be able to share those feelings and emotions with another man. Although it will be different I want to be able to have that again some day. I've realized that I want to have that again in my life, even if it is with another man. I think I'm also ready because I fully know and understand now that Shawn will ALWAYS be with me, nobody will ever replace Shawn in my heart or in my life. A part of my heart and life will always belong to Shawn. I also think I've come to understand and feel that Shawn himself would want me to be happy and he would want me to share those feelings with somebody as well. I would also like to think that in some way Shawn will have a hand in picking out a new man for me to fall in love with, someone that he would "approve" of for me.



So with all of that being said, I really do feel like I'm ready to start dating again. I hope and pray that I won't have to date forever. I would really love to go out on a date, really like the guy, spend time with him and end up having him be the "one". Hahaha...think that it will happen? Probably not, but I can hope can't I? That is how it happened with Sarah. Who knows I guess time will tell.

Oh yeah I forgot to tell you about my neighbor. So the other day I was outside with Bo when my neighbor came up and started talking to me. We talk all the time when the dogs are outside so it was no big deal. Then he started asking me how I was doing. I told him I was doing well and was really starting to spend more time with my friends and that I had started going out again. He then asked if I had dated at all. I told him a little about "T" and the blind date I went on at the end of the summer. I told him, that yes, I've started dating and realized I want to, but that there wasn't much activity yet. He then started telling me about the guy who lives a crossed the street and up the lane from me. I've seen and talked to this guy on and off throughout the summer, but not in long conversation, just kind of chit chat here and there. Well, apparently this guy has been asking my neighbor about me. My neighbor said that he seems interested in me and was wondering where I was at last week when I was in Ohio. My neighbor then told me some stuff about this guy, and sounds like he would be nice to hang out with and get to know. At the end of our conversation he asked if it was alright to give the guy up the lane my number. I checked with my neighbor to make sure he wasn't psycho or anything like that. My neighbor smiled and said, "Would I give your number to some guy who was psycho?" So, with that I gave him my number and he passed it along to the guy up the lane. Guess we shall see what happens with that.

So there you have it, my thoughts on dating. I guess I'm officially entering the dating world.(EEEKKKK!!!!) However, I know when the time, the situation, and the guy is right it will happen. I also know that it won't happen until all those things are lined up, so for now I wait and see.

Today is the 18th of the month, I don't know if I will ever be able to look at the 18th of a month and not count off a month or year in my head. August 18th marked one year, the 18th of last month marked 13 months, today marks 14 months since Shawn has passed away and Dec 18 will mark 16 months. It just keeps on going, I don't know if I will ever get to the point where I don't think of what the 18th of each month means to me.

Even though today marks 14 months since Shawn has passed away, I have to say things are starting to get a bit easier. I got through the "magical" first year. All of my "firsts" are over and in just two weeks I will be starting all of my seconds without Shawn. First is my birthday, then two weeks later his, then Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years. I'm still not looking forward to any of these things, especially Thanksgiving and Christmas (actually, I would like to skip over them both again this year), but things are getting easier. Just because it's getting easier doesn't mean that it no longer hurts, because trust me when I say it does. I still have that piece of my heart missing, my heart still aches for Shawn and I for sure still have off/hard days, but things are getting easier.

The last few months I have fallen into a new schedule. I'm no longer sitting in front of the TV all day long watching What Not to Wear. I'm gone a lot. I go to the gym and work out five days a week. I'm probably in the best shape of my life right now, other than right before I got married. A few months ago I picked up a part time job watching a four year old and two year old. I watch them two days a week. It was the perfect thing to get me back into the swing of working. The last several weeks I've been thinking it's now time to start working again. So last week I had an interview at a local floral shop. I thought it would be a fun job, taking orders, working on flower arrangements, and working in their gift shop. Hopefully, I will find out by the end of this week if I got the job or not. I'm looking at other option in case the flower shop falls through. I'm also thinking seriously about going back to school this winter. If not in the winter then for sure next summer or fall. I'm thinking of going to school for two different things, I just can't make up my mind for sure what one I want do do yet. (I will clue you into those two ideas in another post) Going back to work and getting into a schedule are pretty big things considering I really haven't done much of that for the last year. Things are getting easier.


When I first moved home I didn't do anything with anyone. On the rare occasion if I went someplace I would go with my mom or sister. I didn't want to be around lots of people because it was too hard to see all those "happy couples". It was too hard to see girls I went to high school with walking around wearing their wedding rings on their finger, while I had just taken mine off. Now however, I'm hardly ever home. I go back and forth to Ohio every few months. The last several months I have also started making some great friends here as well. A few times a month I go out with the other ladies in my "support group" We will go out to eat and go to a movie, or find something else to do around our town. A great "old friend" has also entered back into my life the last several months as well. Kim and I met in our Junior year in high school and we instantly became best friends. Kim was in my wedding and six months later I was in her wedding. After that we lost touch and didn't talk to let alone see each other. However, through my blog Kim and I were reunited this spring and we have been hanging out ever since. It is so great to have an old friend back in my life. Kim is trying her hardest to get me back into the dating game as well. Something I'm excited about but nervous at the same time. (Dating...that is a whole other post that will be coming soon!) Kim and her husband are having an awesome Halloween party this weekend and I will be going. Not only is it a Halloween party, but it is a costume party as well. I haven't dressed up for Halloween since I was about 10 years old. For all you wondering I will be dressing up! Kim and I went shopping earlier this week for our costumes. I'm not going to tell you what my costume is until after the party when I do my Halloween post. I'm going to keep you all in suspense until then. However, I will tell you my costume in NOTHING any of you would ever think of me being! I'm thinking you will be shocked when you see the pictures. It's so great to be going out and having fun once again, especially with the greatest friends ever. Things are getting easier.

Ok, so do you all get that things are getting easier for me? Well, now I'm going to confuse all of you. I'm not trying to confuse you on purpose, but it's just kind of how grief works. So even though things are getting easier, it's still so hard. It's hard because things getting easier for me means that I'm moving on with my life. Moving into my future without Shawn, and that is the difficult part. After months and months of grieving and being filled with the worst pain I have ever felt and still do feel at times I want to laugh again. I want new adventures. I want to find new happiness. I want to start dating again. I want all of those things. At times though it's hard to think about all of that, to think about my future without thinking about Shawn being part of it. Yet at the same time I am the one who is living, I'm the one who needs to find my "new normal", I'm the one who needs to move on. The truth of the matter is I'm doing good, not only o.k. but good. I still have more hurdles of grief to get through, but I'm doing good. I'm so grateful for that good feeling, but at the same time it feels really wrong to say I'm doing good without Shawn. In a weird way it's almost like I don't want things to get easier, because that means that Shawn is leaving me more and more every day. Even though I know that Shawn will ALWAYS be with me. When you are in the early stages of grief, you want nothing more than to have a good day, you dream of having a day without tears. Then many many months down the road when you start "living" again you almost feel guilty for being o.k. without the love of your life by your side. That is the thing about grief...you never know what emotion it is going to throw in your face. You just have to be ready for it, and feel whatever it sends your way. I'm really sorry if I confused all of you with the "things are getting easier but at the same time I don't want them to get easier" bit, I just wasn't sure how to describe it to you all in words.

I will sum it up by saying this. I am doing good, with every new day I look more and more forward to my future and all that it has to offer. I'm looking forward to my new adventures and what ever they may bring. At times I still wonder what my life would be like right now if Shawn would not have passed away. What we would be doing as a family? I think I may always wonder about that, I think that is just human nature. However, as I look forward to the future I will also say one more time, that yes 14 months after Shawn's death, things are starting to get easier and for that I'm grateful.

Are you all liking the Faithful Friday posts? Should I stop doing them, or keep them going? I was just kind of wondering what you my great readers liked and wanted.

Today's quote is:
"A gentle word, a kind look, a good-natured smile can work wonders and accomplish miracles."
William Hazlitt

I think a lot of times in today's society we all get so caught up in doing a hundred different things at one time and are so wound up in our own lives that we forget the simple things. The simple things like holding a door open for somebody, or smiling at a person in the same aisle as you in the grocery store, or just simply saying hello to someone. These things can go a long ways to making a person's day, just a bit better and brighter. These are things that I think we all forget, I know I do.

On Wednesday before I left to met Dot, I dropped Bo off at Puppy Camp. (Yes, he still goes one day a week and loves it.) Anyways, I dropped him off and the owner met me at the door, opened it for me and said good morning. We talked about Bo for a few minutes, then as I was getting ready to leave he told me that I looked really nice and asked if I was going someplace. I wasn't wearing anything special, just a pair of jeans and a sweater and boots. (I usually walk in there in my work out clothes) I told him that I was meeting a friend in Birch Run for a day of shopping. He told me to have a great day and enjoy myself. Now, did him telling me that I looked nice and to have a great day accomplish a miracle? No, but it sure started my day out great and put a smile on my face. See sometimes a simple thing can make a person's day.

Now what does this quote mean to you? Did somebody make your day recently by giving you a smile or saying hello? Have you made a person's day by doing something simple, but yet great at the same time?

Today October 15 is a very important day for many many people. Today is the National Day of Remembrance for pregnancy and infant loss. Today is a day to remember all babies who have died because of a miscarriage (at any week), stillbirths, SIDS, or any other infant death. Tonight at 7:00(your time) light a candle for 1 hour to honor all babies lost. This way there will be a continuous "wave of light" to remember all our babies.

So today please say an extra prayer for somebody you know who has lost a baby at any age, say a prayer for their baby and for the parents as well. It will mean a lot to each of us who have gone through this.

Today I will remember the baby that I lost through miscarriage a little over a year ago when I was nine weeks pregnant.

Will you please leave me a comment and let me know who you will be remembering today. Or if you would like share your story with me.

Today I had a super fun day!! Today was the day that I finally got to meet a fellow blog reader. Today was the day that I got to meet Dot! You can read about Dot here, http://hopesanddreamsforus.blogspot.com/.

I first met Dot a little under two years ago on the Web MD trying to conceive message boards. Dot was always there to encourage everyone on the board. She was like a big sister to all of us. There are many of us who became friends through that board and came to lean on Dot in many ways. A few of the ladies that I have become friends with since being on those boards are, Dot, Jayme http://thewonderfulworldofjayme.blogspot.com/, Nancy http://thenewlifeofnancy.blogspot.com/, Nicole (who uhm doesn't have a blog YET! but really should), Christina http://insidethemindofchristinah.blogspot.com/, and Morgan http://morganseverydaylife.blogspot.com/. We were all there for each other all of the time. I would totally love one day to meet each of them. I would also like to meet many other of my readers as well. I think it sounds fun to travel around and meet each of you. Who would be in for that? However, today was the day to meet Dot! We have been talking about meeting for several months now. We actually only live about two hours apart from each other. We were going to meet one time this summer, but it just didn't work out. Then one day last week we finally set up to meet today! I was so excited to finally get to meet her.

At 9:30 we met at for coffee. Right then and there in the middle of the parking lot we gave each other a big hug. We went in had our coffee and ended up talking until right around 11:00. You would have maybe thought there would be a lull in actual conversation beings that this was the first time we had actually met. However, the exact opposite happened. We just ended up talking and talking. I think after being on the message boards together, then reading our blogs, and chatting on FaceBook it was like we already "knew" each other. It was GREAT! Dot is about one of the sweetest people ever and she is a great lady! After we were done with our coffee and chatting we decided to go across the street to the outlet mall. You guessed it, we planned to meet for coffee, then shop!

The first store we went to was

I got back last night from Youngstown. Are you all ready to hear about the trip? I will warn you now this maybe a long post and there are LOTS of pictures. I thought I would do one big post instead of breaking it up into two. Hope you don't mind.



I got into town around 2:00 on Wednesday afternoon. Michigan and Ohio had some crazy high winds so I couldn't drive as fast as I wanted to because I was getting blown all over the road. I mean it was seriously windy, at one point I saw a garbage can full of garbage being tossed up in the air like it was a piece of paper. Once I got into town I went to the stadium to give the guys their cookies. As I've said before I love going to the stadium, being down there is what I'm used to, it makes me feel 'normal' and this was no exception. It was great to be back there with " my guys" again. All of their faces lit up when I put the huge box of cookies down in the kitchen. The two coaches that I'm the closest with knew I was bringing them. The two of them knew they were each getting their own bag, so they didn't have to share with the rest of the coaches. The word about the cookies spread fast. Within ten minutes of me setting them down coaches were eating them. I was told that all 215 cookies were GONE by the next morning! I'm telling you for some reason this set of coaches love my cookies!! There is one coach down there that I knew and used to talk to when Shawn was still alive, but I wouldn't say we were close. We never used to hang out like I did with the other guys. For some reason this summer he and I started talking more and more. Well, before I left to go see Jennie at work he told me that he wanted to show me something. I followed him down the hall to what used to be Shawn's office. I've been in the room a few times, but the other guys don't hang out there like we all used to, so it just doesn't feel the same, and of course it isn't. Anyways, he told me to go into the office and look on the wall. I walked in and turned around and this is what I saw.



They took Shawn's coaching picture from last year, the entire coaching staff picture from last year and the Shawn's name plate off of his office door and framed it. This now is hanging on a wall in Shawn's old office, which is also the video room. I knew they were going to do something with the picture but I wasn't sure what. I walked in and loved it! It didn't make me cry or anything, instead I got a smile on my face. Now Shawn will always be remembered at YSU no matter who is coaching there in the future and that is something I was really worried about.The coach that took me into the office looked at me and said, "I told you Shawn will always and is always with us, but now we can all see him everyday too, and that makes all of us feel a little bit better too." I'm telling you the coaches down at YSU have been amazing to me since Shawn has died, especially the four that I'm still really close to. (This picture was taken just just six days before Shawn died. He didn't always look this mean, it was just the football coach in him!)



After I left the stadium I went to go see Jennie at work. I walked into the center and I saw Jennie's three year old right away. Christopher saw me to and ran right up to me yelling, "Jenny Coin is here, Jenny Coin is here" and he jumped into my lap and gave me a huge hug. That felt great. I hadn't been to Youngstown since July so it was great to see my little buddy. The rest of the afternoon I hung out with Jennie at work. I even brought Bo in for the kids to see. He loved them and they loved him. After she got done at work, we went to pick up her two year old. He too ran right up to me and gave me a huge hug. There is almost nothing better than getting huge hugs from little kids that you haven't seen in a while. Then we headed to Jennie's house to see her fiancee and her oldest little boy who had just gotten off the bus. We all hung out at her house for a while and let the boys and Bo ram around, and boy did they ram around. The boys and Bo were so excited to see each other again. Later the night we all went out to dinner with Jennie's neighbors Jason and Amanda and their three kids. We went to my favorite Mexican restaurant. All the six kids did a great job while waiting for our food and eating. We pretty much sat, adult, kid, adult, kid to prevent "things" from going bad. However, the kids did great! I'm not sure thought if the people at the restaurant liked having us all there, but oh well. After dinner Jennie, the boys and I went back to her house to tell her fiancee good bye. He was leaving for Florida for a few days so we wouldn't be seeing him. (or so we thought) After he left Jennie and I stayed up for a while talking and messing around on the computer. Actually, we watched some pretty funny Youtube videos.



On Thursday Devin wanted me to watch him get on the bus so I got up right before the bus came. He looked like such a little man getting on the bus. A few hours later the day took a turn, but in the end all worked out ok. Jennie's fiancee and his brother were driving to Florida to pick up their Dad. However in the early hours of the morning they swerved to miss a deer, messing up their truck pretty bad. Needless to say they were stranded in Virgina. At 1:00 in the afternoon Jennie had to make the drive to pick them up. I was going to go with her, but we had the tiny issue of the three boys, and the dog. So we decided that I would stay home and take care of the boys. I was bummed that Jennie had to leave because she was going to be gone for like 18 hours but at the same time I knew she had to go get Chris and his brother. All in all the boys and I had a great day.



On Thursday night after I got all the boys and Bo to sleep I went out with four of the coaches for dinner and drinks and Jennie's Dad stayed home with the boys. Yes, I'm that good that I got three boys and one dog to sleep by 8:00 at night. (Just joking, I'm not that great, the boys were just really really tired)



Myself and the guys went out and had a great time. We sat around the table eating wings and drinking a few drinks. It was awesome to just sit around and talk with them. Of course we talked about football, I mean why wouldn't we, that's always what we talk about....they are coaches. They also all asked how I was doing and if there was anything that I needed. They all reminded me that no matter what happens they will always be there for me. Then they asked the question I know they have all been wanting to ask me. Am I seeing anybody or have I gone out on a date since Shawn passed away? I'm not sure why but I was kinda nervous to tell them about "T" and about the blind date I went on earlier this summer. I think I just didn't want them to ever think that I had forgotten about Shawn. They are great and wonderful, but after all they are still guys and I wasn't sure how they were going to react. I have been up front and honest with them about everything else, so I figured I might as well tell them. So I told them about "T" and that it just didn't work out, and then I told them about the blind date. They totally surprised me and they were all 100% behind me and that they all want me to be happy again. One of them even told me that they were shocked that I hadn't been asked out already, that I'm the "total package". That made me laugh real hard. However, they each told me that if I ever went out with somebody who would "hurt" me in any way they would hurt them too. Oh boy, I didn't think about the fact that I know have a group of "bodyguards" at my side. The night was great. It was great to be with them just hanging out. We talked about Shawn off and on during the night as well. We all knew there was an empty spot at the table and I think that was hard for all of us, however at the same time spending time with the guys made me feel 'normal' and it felt like old times once again.



Friday I thought I was going to have to get up and put Devin on the bus because I wasn't sure if Jennie was going to be back yet. However, they pulled in at around 3:00 a.m. Friday morning I got up and just kind of chilled out a bit. Around noon I met at the house of one of the coaches and ate a yummy lunch with two of the wives that I still talk to. Once again we had great conversation. It was nice to hang out with some of my old friends once again. One of them even had a baby four months ago (her baby was due just a month after mine was) I got to feed him a bottle. He was about the cutest little thing and held onto my finger the whole bottle, so sweet. Friday afternoon I went back to Jennies house and we just hung out around her house. Then we decided to order a few pizza's from the best pizza place ever. We took the pizza's and the boys and headed to the hotel where my parents were staying to go swimming in the pool. (Both my parents, sister and Shawn's parents came into town for the weekend for the game) I tried to take a few pictures of Jennie, the boys and myself in the pool, but it's kinda hard to take pictures while trying to teach a five year old to swim. We had fun swimming even though the water was a tad on the chilly side. The rest of Friday night Jennie and I just talked and chilled out. Actually, to be honest Jennie fell asleep on the couch at 10:15 and I sat my butt on Facebook most of the night. I swear FB is like a dark hole and just sucks you in.

Now onto getting Shawn's award:

I woke up on Saturday a little nervous feeling because it was game day and the day that I was to be given Shawn's award. Maybe nervous isn't the right word, I guess I was more anxious than anything. I went about my day as usual playing with Bo and the boys and tried not to think about the fact that I was going to be going out in front of over a thousand people to get the award. Around two I decided that I should probably get in the shower and start getting ready. I was feeling fine and was getting really excited to go to the game, to see the guys and to spend time with them after. Then I got out of the shower and like a ton of bricks it hit me. I was going to be going out on the field to accept an award for my husband...who was dead! I didn't want him to be dead! I wanted him to be the one to go out onto the field and to get his award, not me. Before I knew it I was in Jennie's bathroom wrapped up in a towel crying my eyes out. Wait, crying my eyes out would be an under statement. I was actually sitting on the floor in my towel shaking I was crying so hard, I even gaged a few times I was crying so hard. (that hasn't happened in a long long time) It sucked big time to say the least!! After about ten minutes of that I realized I needed to stop and I needed to stop now! In less than three hours I was going out in front of a ton of people to get Shawn's award and I needed/wanted to look good. I know it is kind of a selfish and rather snotty type thing to say and think but whatever I did not want to walk out onto that field with puffy eyes and a blotchy face. So I sucked up the tears and finished getting ready and focused on the fact that Shawn did receive this award and that I was going to make him proud and go out and get it for him. Now are you all ready to see pictures of Saturday night?

Here I am walking out onto the field. I was a little nervous and was trying really hard not to fall on my ass. My heels kept sinking into the turf. (Yes, I wore heels, I had to, other wise my jeans would be too long) As soon as I got onto the field one of the coaches that was super close to Shawn saw me, he stopped what he was doing and walked up to me and gave me a big hug and told me he loved me. That's all I needed, all the nerves were gone. Shawn and all "my guys" were with me.

This is the first official Faithful Friday post. Aren't you glad I remembered, even though I'm in Youngstown? By the way I'm having a great time and will tell you all about it on Monday. I'm sure there will even be a few pictures. Now on to Faithful Friday. Remember how this works? I will give you the quote, then I will say what it means to me. Then YOU tell me why you like this quote or what it means to you.

"What the heart once owned and had, it shall never lose."
Henry Ward Beecher

To me this quote is so true. I'm realizing this more and more each day. I'm so grateful and blessed for what my life was. I'm grateful for the amazing 12 years I got to spend with Shawn and for the seven and a half years I was his wife. Those years were the best of my life and I will always hang onto the memories that I have of them. My heart will never lose all of those memories and feelings.

I loved being married to a football coach, at times it was stressful and nerve wracking and other times it was so much fun. Especially on Thursday nights when Shawn and I would go out to eat with the four other coaches we were close with. It would be just me and the guys and it was so fun. Last night I went out with the four guys once again. While, we all looked around the table we all knew that we were missing a person and that there was a void where Shawn should be. However, at the same time it was so great to hang out with them, it was like old times. When we were walking out one of the coaches even said, "Tonight was great, it felt like old times." He was right, it did feel like old times. Times that we always used to have and it was great to be able to have that once again.

After I left the guys last night I thought to myself I'm so glad I went out with them tonight. I also realized that no matter what happens in my future I will always, always, always have the memories of Shawn, of being his wife, and the memories I had while at YSU. Nothing will take those away from me. All the great memories I had I will forever hold in my mind and in my heart...I will never lose them, they will always be with me.

Now it's your turn....what does this quote mean to you?

Today I spent most of the afternoon making 215 chocolate chip cookies. Yes, I made 215 chocolate chip cookies from...scratch! It took me from 11:00-2:30. Why you ask did I make so many cookies? Well, I will tell you.



When Shawn first started coaching seven years ago I started a little tradition. Since he was always gone all day on Sundays during football season I started baking and found that I really enjoyed it. One day I made two dozen chocolate chip cookies. For some reason we didn't eat many of them. So I wrapped them up and had Shawn take them into work on Monday for the other football coach's to eat. This started my every Sunday tradition. Every Sunday and I mean every Sunday during football season for the last seven years I would make a few dozen cookies and Shawn would take them into work with him on Monday morning. For some reason everyone I know raves about my cookies. I'm not sure why. Seriously, I use a plain Jane recipe, nothing fancy or special about them. I used to joke with all the guys and say that my cookies were the best because they were made with love.

Well, when we moved to Youngstown I continued with the tradition. The coach's at YSU loved them more than any other coaching staff at any other college Shawn had ever worked at. If for some reason I missed a Sunday both Shawn and I would get in big trouble. Not really, but I would have some really bummed coach's. It got to the point where I had to divide the cookies up into bags so that each coach would get their own bag. Otherwise they would fight over them. Can you picture it...big grown men fighting over cookies. During our first season at YSU I was sitting in Shawn's office with one of the guys that I'm still really close too. He looked at me and said, " I swear you do something special to your cookies. I have never in my life had a chocolate chip cookie this good" I looked at him and shook my head and told him I do nothing special. He looked at me and said, "Well, you must bake them with love" This is also the same guy that calls the cookies his "crack cookies". He was right, they were made with love. I loved baking on Sundays while Shawn was at work. I loved that I could help out the team by doing something so simple as making cookies.

Obviously, when Shawn passed away and I moved back to Michigan the staff did not get cookies every Sunday. However, last year when I went down for a game I brought a few dozen with me. They were so happy! I'm leaving again tomorrow to go down for a few days and to go to the game. I wasn't going to make the cookies this time. I have only made them the one time last year since Shawn has been gone. It's just not the same. I don't get the same enjoyment out of baking for them that I once did. I think it's because now I go to the stadium and drop them off and not Shawn. Well, the other day the student coach who Shawn and I were and still are extremely close too called me and I could tell he was having a bad day. I asked him what was wrong and he told me that for some reason that day he really missed Shawn, he needed and wanted him. He told me that he wanted nothing more than for him and Shawn to sit in the video room and break a game down together. I told him I totally understood and told him I would love to just sit and "be" with Shawn too. Then he asked if I would bring him down a few cookies. That was all it took. I of course told him yes. He even got his own big bag.

Baking them today wasn't the same. I enjoyed myself I really did, but it still didn't feel "right". For an instant it felt normal to me, for an instant it felt like Shawn was going to walk through the door and take them into the office his self, for an instant everything felt ok again, for an instant it felt a little like my old life. Then I kind of started to get a little teary, however as quick as the tears came they also disappeared. They disappeared because even though I know Shawn isn't here to take them in, I still get too and Shawn will still be with me and us. Now I get to be the one thatgets to see the look on their faces when I walk in with 215 chocolate chip cookies. Hopefully the cookies will make the one coach just a bit happier. If my cookies help make "my guys"day than I'm glad I did it.

Just in case you don't believe me here is what 215 chocolate chip cookies look like all stacked on top of each other.



I'm leaving tomorrow and going to spend the day with Jennie and her family. Thursday is dinner and drinks with the few of the guys that I'm the closest too. Maybe lunch with a few of the coach's wives as well. Friday my parents and sister are coming into town and will be staying in a hotel with a pool, so Jennie and I are going to take her boys swimming. Then Saturday is game day!! I can't wait to go to another Penguin football game. This will also be the game when I will be awarded Shawn's big award. I will be going out on the field, in front of everyone in between the first and second quarter of the game. I'm not really nervous to do that...ok, maybe a little bit. But I know I need to do this for Shawn so it will be easy and plus all the guys will be on the field with me so that will be great too. Then on Sunday we all will be coming back to Michigan.

I'm going to do my best with posting and commenting. However, I'm not sure how much time I will really have. So if I don't post or comment, please don't leave me. I will be back!! I'm pretty sure I will have time on Friday to do the "Faithful Friday" post, but I'm not sure how much more posting I will do. I guarantee you when I get back on Sunday there will be a big post with lots of pictures.

Go a head and eat a cookie...I know you want too!!

Just to keep you all in suspense I'm not going to announce the winner of my little give-a-way until the end of this post. So if you are interested is finding out who won their own copy of Little Whispers of Wisdom, you are going to have to keep on reading.



A few days ago Jen at www.shaemata.blogspot.com gave me this great blog award. Thanks so much for giving me this award. I hope I can answer all these questions in only one word....

USE ONLY ONE WORD!

I don't think this is going to be easy, but I will give it a shot
Copy and change the answers to suit you and pass it on.
It’s quite tricky to use only one-word answers!
Once you have filled it out ~~~ be sure to pass it 6 of of your favorite bloggers and alert them that they have been awarded! Have fun!

1. Where is your cell phone? Desk
2. Your hair? Short
3. Your mother? Beth
4. Your father? Dave
5. Your favorite food? Mexican
6. Your dream last night? Friends
7. Your favorite drink? Diet-Coke
8. Your dream/goal? Happiness
9. What room are you in? Bedroom
10. Your hobby? Exercise
11. Your fear? Heights
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Happy
13. Where were you last night? Home
14. Something that you aren’t? Crafty
15. Muffins? Blueberry
16. Wish list item? House
17. Where did you grow up? Michgan
18. Last thing you did? Ate
19. What are you wearing? sweats
20. Your TV? Big
21. Your pets? Sleepin
22. Friends? Amazing
23. Your life? Better
24. Your mood? Tired
25. Missing someone? Shawn
26. Vehicle? White
27. Something you’re not wearing? Socks
28. Your favorite store? Target
29. Your favorite color? Blue
30. When was the last time you laughed? Today
31. Last time you cried? Sunday
32. Your best friend? Great
33. One place that I go to over and over? Gym
34. One person who emails me regularly? Nichole
35. Favorite place to eat? Applebees

Alright, I hope you all don't mind, but I'm going to break the rules here. It's late and I have a very busy day tomorrow and I need to get to sleep. So instead of giving this award to 6 people. I want 6 people who do not have this award yet to come on over to my blog and take it, then leave me a comment saying they took it. I know the fun of getting an award is being told you have one waiting for you. If it wasn't already 12:30 and I didn't need to get up at 7:30, I would so do that.

Now for the name:

Did you all read my last post? You know the one about sharing a little quote with you every Friday (well, unless I have something else to share with you) I asked my readers to help me come up with a name for those Friday postings. All of you had great ideas. If I could pick two winners I would, but I can only pick one. You all ready for the winner.....Drum roll please.....the winner is Morgan from http://morganseverydaylife.blogspot.com/ Morgan's idea was "Faithful Fridays" and I loved it. Her idea is simple and to the point. However, I think was a good idea for two reasons. One this will be something I will now be doing every Friday, so I need to be "faithful" when posting it. Also because I hope these little quotes touch each of you in some sort of special way. I hope on Friday's when you come to my blog you will see the quote and it will mean something and leave you with a happy feeling for the day.

Ok, I'm off to bed. I have a full day of baking chocolate chip cookies tomorrow, then packing for Ytown. I always bring my friends and coach's chocolate chip cookies when I come into town and I have LOTS to make, so I will be baking all day tomorrow. Yummy!