Writing Life Stories

These words were written by the late Dr. Charlie Council, in a yearbook at the school where he was principal.  This was written years ago, but much of it is still relevant to our lives today.

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Recently as I was unloading my grocery cart at my car, a woman I had never met stopped and asked if she could help me. 

Perhaps in a large city, I might have been suspicious of this offer, but in Hayesville, NC I knew it was one of my fellow residents of Clay County or surrounding mountain towns who made this offer. 

I often hear people say that is rare in these times, but I find it is not rare at all in my part of the country. I don't look pitiful and unable, but more than once I have had complete strangers offer to help me with my groceries.

I said to the lady who stopped to put the bags in the car, "I never turn down an offer of assistance." I smiled and she said, "I haven't done my good deed for the day so I am happy to help."

We struck up a brief conversation and I thanked her before she went on her way into Ingles. 

My sister tells me she thinks that it is unusual and is not likely to happen at her store in Roswell, GA just north of Atlanta. I think it is kind of people to want to do some simple thing for another person, but it is also impolite and maybe rude to turn someone down when they want to give you help. I am always gracious and appreciative, like my mother taught me, to those who lend a helping hand. 

Once a man came from two cars away to help me with my groceries. He saw me unloading my cart and decided he would help me. I am grateful that I live where I don't have to be afraid or concerned when a stranger offers to help me. 

I think I wrote about the time a woman went out in the rain to bring my car up to the door of the store and then helped me load my groceries into it. I don't know if you have had these kinds of experiences in your town or neighborhood, but if you have, I would love to hear about them. 

I want us to hear more about the good people, the kind-hearted people, the generous people in our lives. We hear and see so much on social media and TV about bad people, unscrupulous people, scammers, and mean-spirited people. 

But I come into contact with far more good people than bad. I don't think I have been singled out to receive kindness and caring from my fellow man. Surely others receive these nice gestures as well

I appreciate the lady at the fast food place who thinks my little Lexie is cute and asks, "Can I give her a piece of bacon?" That was a first for me. At United Community Bank and at Walgreen's drive-through window, Lexie knows she will receive a small treat. She sits on the console patiently wagging her tail in anticipation. I take time and we watch my little buddy enjoy her treat. The lady behind the window and I share a brief moment of joy.

A good friend of mine said, on her blog today, that January 6 when the Capital was attacked by Americans made such an impact on her that she decided to move abroad and live in another country where politics has not divided the population as it has here. I understand and am concerned that anger and bitterness and fear have driven a wedge between friends, families, and communities, but I know our political differences have not turned us into bad, uncaring, and mean people. I see so much goodness in those who differ with me on politics, who differ with my religion, and who don't even speak my language, that I have hope for us. I hope we can bind our wounds and stop listening to those who would divide us, who want us to show the worst in ourselves. I look forward to a day when Americans trust our government and health system and follow the science that will enable us to defeat this pandemic. 

Do you have hope for a better tomorrow? Leave me a comment and tell me what you think.

As my readers know, I have been dealing with chronic pain for the past year, and I spend much of my time these days focusing on how to rid myself of the pain, how to cure this ongoing issue. Physical therapy, chiropractic care, orthopedic massage, PRP injections and warm water exercises. At times I am not able to reach down and put on my shoes without excruciating pain. I get frustrated and angry that I can't easily do what I've always done for myself.

My two best friends, Mary Mike and Estelle, are always there for me. They listen when I need to vent and do their best to help me when I need something. Mike even offered to let me come and stay at her house where she could take care of me. Wow! And she has enough on her plate already.

Estelle Rice and Mary Mike Keller

Mike has dropped what she was doing to drive twenty-five miles to pick me up and take me home when I became ill and could not drive. I used to think only my sister would do that for me. 

Driving has been difficult for me, but not so much now. When I left to go to south Georgia a few months ago, Mike drove me half way to Atlanta where my sister, Gay, picked me up. Gay drove all the way through Atlanta like a champ. On Sunday, Gay drove us back through Atlanta but I suggested we called Mary Mike again. My friend, who had just got out of the bath and was in her pajamas, did not hesitate.

"Sure. I will get dressed and come meet you." 

Gay was exhausted. I knew she needed to get home. It had been a long hard week. I was happy she could go home to her husband. I was grateful that Mike could and would come and get me.

It is hard to have to ask others to sacrifice their time and energy for me.  I have always been a nurturer. I became a caregiver in January 1975 when Mother suffered a cerebral hemorrhage. That was when our roles reversed and I became the mother. For ten years I was on call 24/7. I would not have had it any other way. Caregivers usually feel the same.

I consider myself an independent woman who has never quit even when I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in the early nineties. Some days I suffered with fatigue so intense I wanted to lie down on the floor and sleep. If there had been a sofa in my office, I would definitely have gone to sleep. However,I learned what I must do to keep going and doing. I might have been out of commission for a few days, but I bounced back and kept on "ticking."

When my husband had cancer, I stayed with him twenty-four hours a day for weeks while he was in the hospital. But I had the support of my sweet sister, Gay. She has never refused me anything I needed, if she could give it. I don't know what I would have done without her at that time.

Me with my sweet little sister

I always knew I had family who would go out of their way and be there for me when I needed them. I did not expect to have friends do the same. 

Recently a new friend, author Carroll Taylor, drove me to Writers Night Out. She  carried my tote bag as I was learning to walk with a cane, trying not to trip myself. At the meeting, Alan Cone and his delightful wife, Mary, sat beside me. Before they left, he wrote their phone number on a sticky note and stuck it on my book. "If you need someone to give you a ride, call us. We will be happy to pick you up and take you where you need to go." 

How generous and caring, I thought. I did not expect that, but I do believe he was sincere although he and Mary live in another town.

I stopped by my mailbox and saw that someone had planted flowers around the post. 
I had no idea who did that. I asked a woman who works for me if she had done it. She is a caring person. But she said no.

"I think your neighbors planted the flowers," she said.

"Really? Why do you think that?"

"I saw one of them watering something at the mailbox."

Have you ever been caught at the grocery store with no umbrella or raincoat and the rain is coming down in sheets? I shop in a mobile cart now and was sitting near the door waiting for the rain to stop. A woman with two children in tow was busy loading her car and finding movies for the kids. When she finished, she asked me,"Do you need some help?"
I answered, "I asked a bag boy to go and bring my car up. It is right there, not far, but he hasn't come back. I'll just wait until the rain stops."
"I can get your car for you - if you trust me to do it."
"You can't do that. You'll get soaked," I said.
"No. Here, give me your keys." She put a plastic grocery bag over her hair and ran to my car. In minutes she had driven it right up to the door, opened the back and she helped me load my groceries. 
I thanked her profusely, of course. She said she lived here part time and had her grand-kids for the weekend. Her name is Linda and I am still in awe of her generosity. Every day, it seems, I run into kind and caring people.

I am not surprised. 
My neighbors, Alice and Marsha, have always been exceptionally kind to me. Alice cooks and brings me dishes that she says are healthy for a diabetic. I admit, some are not to my taste, but I love her so much for  thinking of me. Her brownies made with beans are very good. She also gave me the wonderful Taco Soup that is so versatile I have shared it with friends and family. It is one of my favorite healthy foods. 

I am fortunate to have these dear friends. They are an important part of my life. Their kindness comes from their hearts. They don't feel obligated. Some people just have that giving spirit. They were evidently taught by parents who believed in helping your neighbor.

Other friends who help me are John Buckley, Gene Vickers and Keith Norton, who will accept pay for handyman work, but barely enough to cover his cost to drive to my house.

Gay said to me recently, "You have a wonderful support group here." I agree. I would hate to leave them. I'm not sure I would ever find such kindness and caring again. 

You probably have friends like mine who go out of their way to be there for you. I know that some of you are that kind of friend to others.

Until next time, be generous with your friendship and your caring and may you receive the same in return.

My nephew Jon Beall and his son, Bryant, came to visit me on Saturday and right away asked, "What can I do for you while I'm here."

I quickly gave them a list: Take the rocking chairs on the deck to the garage. Take the Gazelle to the garage. Take this and take that. Now my deck is not cluttered and I can see my deck garden from my chair.

I made some lunch and then Jon wanted to know what else he could do for me. He has always been the most caring and kind person. He reminds me of Barry with his easy going nature and he never seems to get angry. His six-foot-three son, at seventeen, said very little but seemed willing to help. He removed the little twigs and leaves hanging on my gutter over my front door.

Before they put their boat in Lake Chatuge Saturday afternoon, they had cleaned out and organized my garage and taken two loads to the garbage transfer station. Now I can see what is in there and decide what I need to keep and what can go. Jon told me to sit and he brought boxes over for me to go through. What a huge relief! 

Jon and his sister, Paige, spent lots of time with Barry and me when they were little. We loved having them. I was Paige's first baby sitter when she was a tiny little thing. Often at Easter, they and their mother spent the day with my family on the farm. They hunted eggs with the kids on the front lawn.

Jon calls me fairly often and we keep in touch. He is married to a fine person and has a daughter, also. I am sharing one of the last photos made with Barry in 2008. Jon was almost named for Barry. His mother wanted to name him Jon Barry, but I objected. I wanted to name my first son after Barry. How silly and young I was then. 

Barry, sitting, Jon behind him with arm around Bryant.

I am touched deep in my heart by the kindness of Jon and Bryant. I just wish I could have made the fish bite for them.