Splashdown!!! Glory, tragedy, and numbers.

In the style of Harper’s Index, I present:

The EXAMINED Index: Stardate April 7, 2026 🚀

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Total distance traveled by the Artemis II crew, in miles: 694,481

Distance in miles by which they broke the Apollo 13 record for farthest human travel: 4,105

Number of humans who have now seen the entire lunar far side with their own eyes, and watched an eclipse of the sun to boot: 4

Number of unique menu items available to the crew in the Orion capsule: 189

Price of a “barbeque beef brisket” meal in deep space: “Unlisted”

Proposed Trump Administration cut to the NASA budget for FY2027, in dollars: $5,600,000,000 (5.6B)

Cost of the war in Iran per day: $1-$2B

Amount the Trump administration is reportedly prepared to ask Congress for ongoing military operations in Iran: $200,000,000,000 (200B)

Percentage of the NASA Science budget slated for elimination: 47

Number of active NASA science missions and projects facing termination: 40

Number of employees who have already exited the agency since late 2025: ~4,000

Approximate ratio of NASA employees leaving to astronauts returning today: 1,000:1

Minimum distance, in miles, Orion flew from the lunar surface: 4,067

Proposed funding for NASA’s Office of STEM Engagement in the FY2027 request: $0

Number of lunar craters named by the crew during their flight: 2

One of those craters, named after the late wife of Commander Reid Wiseman: Carroll

Current status of the Artemis III mission to land humans on the Moon: Pending Budget Approval

Chance that an American citizen can name the four returning astronauts: 1 in 20

Chance that those astronauts return to a smaller workforce than they left: 1 in 1

Chance that NASA rocks: 100%

Probability that science, medicine, research, and American power will continue to be degraded by Republican leadership: 99.99999%

Odds that Chairman Meow will save civilization: good.

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*Sources: NASA Agency Fact Sheets (April 2026); Space.com; The Guardian; NPR; Congressional Budget Reports.

*Addendum per commenter request! ❤️😅 Recall their names: Reid Wiseman (Commander), Victor Glover (Pilot), Christina Hammock Koch (Mission Specialist), and Canadian Space Agency astronaut Jeremy Hansen (Mission Specialist).