Child Abuse Quotes

“Dissociation is the common response of children to repetitive, overwhelming trauma and holds the untenable knowledge out of awareness. The losses and the emotions engendered by the assaults on soul and body cannot, however be held indefinitely. In the absence of effective restorative experiences, the reactions to trauma will find expression. As the child gets older, he will turn the rage in upon himself or act it out on others, else it all will turn into madness.”
― Judith Spencer, Satan's High Priest

“Today I wore a pair of faded old jeans and a plain grey baggy shirt. I hadn't even taken a shower, and I did not put on an ounce of makeup. I grabbed a worn out black oversized jacket to cover myself with even though it is warm outside. I have made conscious decisions lately to look like less of what I felt a male would want to see. I want to disappear.”
― Sierra D. Waters, Debbie.

“She still remembered sitting for hours as a little girl and pretending to be a hassock. A foot stool. Because if she could just stay very small, and very quiet, her mother would forget she was there, and then she wouldn't scream about people and places and things that had gone wrong.”
― Eloisa James, An Affair Before Christmas

“I think repressing what happened is what saved me in my childhood. I was able to use my imagination to create happy events, but a little girl can carry only so much on her own.”
― Erin Merryn, Living for Today: From Incest and Molestation to Fearlessness and Forgiveness

“Imagine the infant who one day cries and gets fed, and the next day cries and goes hungry. One day smiles and is kissed and hugged. The next day smiles and is ignored. This is what psychologists called 'preoccupied or unresolved attachment' with the primary caregiver--usually the mother. There was love one minute and disdain the next. Affection that was given in abundance for no reason and then taken away without cause. The child has no ability to predict or influence the behavior of the parent. The narcissist loves a child only as an extension of herself at first, and then as a loyal subject. So she will tend to the child only when it makes her feel good.”
― Wendy Walker, Emma in the Night

“Dissociation, in a general sense, refers to a rigid separation of parts of experiences, including somatic experiences, consciousness, affects, perception, identity, and memory. When there is a structural dissociation, each of the dissociated self-states has at least a rudimentary sense of "I" (Van der Hart et al., 2004). In my view, all of the environmentally based "psychopathology" or problems in living can be seen through this lens.”
― Elizabeth F. Howell, The Dissociative Mind

“As a child abuse and neglect therapist I do battle daily with Christians enamored of the Old Testament phrase "Spare the rod and spoil the child." No matter how far I stretch my imagination, it does not stretch far enough to include the image of a cool dude like Jesus taking a rod to a kid.”
― Chris Crutcher, King of the Mild Frontier: An Ill-Advised Autobiography – The Riveting, Laugh-Out-Loud Funny Young Adult Coming-of-Age Memoir

“Like revenge, the fantasy of forgiveness often becomes a cruel torture, because it remains out of reach for most ordinary human beings. Folk wisdom recognizes that to forgive is divine. And even divine forgiveness, in most religious systems, is not unconditional. True forgiveness cannot be granted until the perpetrator has sought and earned it through confession, repentance, and restitution.”
― Judith Lewis Herman

“Sexual abuse is also a secret crime, one that usually has no witness. Shame and secrecy keep a child from talking to siblings about the abuse, even if all the children in a family are being sexually assaulted. In contrast, if a child is physically or emotionally abused, the abuse is likely to occur in front of the other children in the family, at least some of the time. The physical and emotional abuse becomes part of the family's explicit history. Sexual abuse does not.”
― Renee Fredrickson, Repressed Memories: A Journey to Recovery from Sexual Abuse

“He said when the Lord made people He made them all the same for starters. But life marks people. If you know the way, you can read them like maps.”
― Andrew Vachss, Blue Belle

“Can’t a lawyer take his client out to dinner to discuss the case? Haven’t you ever heard of the two-martini lunch?”
“Yes, but this is dinner,” she corrected.
“It’s the same thing. I looked it up in my Etiquette and Tax Deductions
for Lawyers handbook . . .”
― Mark M. Bello, Betrayal of Faith

“Healing is like an onion. As you process through one layer of trauma to release the pain and heal, a new layer will surface. One layer after another layer will bring up new issues to focus on. Pace yourself. Only focus on one layer at a time.”
― Dana Arcuri, Soul Cry: Releasing & Healing the Wounds of Trauma

“When the gates of mockery and abuse is opened, the heart becomes a shock absorber”
― Ikechukwu Izuakor

“Like stars are to the sky, so are the children to our world. They deserve to shine!”
― Chinonye J. Chidolue

“For many people, the shock of sexual abuse pales before the shock of this mother’s statement, “I wish the fuck I never had her.” So thoroughly is motherhood sentimentalized that the mother who wishes to be rid of her child is considered a monster. In reality, women have always greeted the burden of motherhood ambivalently, even in the best of circumstances, and many women bear children involuntarily. But the approbrium which attaches to any woman who willing gives up her child is so great that some mothers will keep and mistreat their children rather than admit that they cannot care for them. Sometimes, the revelation of maternal neglect constitutes a plea for outside intervention, signaling the fact that a mother wants to be relieved of the duty to care for her child.”
― Judith Lewis Herman, Father-Daughter Incest

“You’re right, Jen, of course,” she capitulated. “I’m sorry. You’re going through hell, and I’m pontificating instead of being compassionate,” Lynne admitted.
“Pontificating? Interesting choice of words for a nonbeliever,” Jennifer chuckled.”
― Mark M. Bello, Betrayal of Faith

“But why? Who would do such a thing?” Jennifer puzzled, astonished.
“I’m not sure yet who they are or exactly what their function is. My sense is they minimize the impact of these kinds of events and limit damage to the church,” Rothenberg surmised.
“You have got to be kidding!”
― Mark M. Bello

“Janna knew - Rikki knew — and I knew, too — that becoming Dr Cameron West wouldn't make me feel a damn bit better about myself than I did about being Citizen West. Citizen West, Citizen Kane, Sugar Ray Robinson, Robinson Crusoe, Robinson miso, miso soup, black bean soup, black sticky soup, black sticky me. Yeah. Inside I was still a fetid and festering corpse covered in sticky blackness, still mired in putrid shame and scorching self-hatred. I could write an 86-page essay comparing the features of Borderline Personality Disorder with those of Dissociative Identity Disorder, but I barely knew what day it was, or even what month, never knew where the car was parked when Dusty would come out of the grocery store, couldn't look in the mirror for fear of what—or whom—I'd see.
~ Dr Cameron West describes living with DID whilst studying to be a psychologist.”
― Cameron West, First Person Plural: My Life as a Multiple

“I realized that I was living my life backwards. I had to be a grown-up when I’d been a little boy, and now I was tending to the little boy who’d never had the chance to properly play… Had I not had the childhood I did, would these traits not be so at the forefront of my personality? Who knows? All I know is that I am the product of all the experiences I have had, good and bad.”
― Alan Cumming, Not My Father's Son

“Rothenberg was dumbfounded, shocked speechless. He was retained to provide treatment in a fourth-degree fondling case. This was far worse. This is a first-degree case. These boys were raped! The floodgates opened—details were pouring out now.”
― Mark M. Bello, Betrayal of Faith

“Children who live with a predatory mother become unconsciously preoccupied with reading their mother’s moods. A fleeting glance, a furtive gesture, deceleration, and a shift of direction are signals of an approaching Turn. Bracing, hiding, or merely holding on gives children a much-needed sense of control. Shutting down, avoiding eye contact, and getting away are other means of establishing control.”
― Christine Ann Lawson, Understanding the Borderline Mother

“Sleeping with children is not within the scope of a priest’s employment.”
“But an unsuspecting kid doesn’t know that. He trusts the priest to tell him what God likes or doesn’t like, isn’t that true? This is textbook apparent authority . . .”
― Mark M. Bello, Betrayal of Faith

“Because for her, money isn’t the issue. This is about revenge, payback, even worse, justice.”
― Mark M. Bello, Betrayal of Faith

“Even the receptionist was new, a pretty, young, buxom blonde named Eden, according to her nameplate. Micah must have handpicked her from the Garden.”
― Mark M. Bello, Betrayal of Faith

“Are we interrupting your late-morning nap, Mr. Blake?” District Court Judge Emma Pearl inquired, with a harsh tone and an insistent expression.”
― Mark M. Bello, Betrayal of Faith

“Thanks very much, Zack, and God bless you.” He hung up. God bless? That ship has sailed.”
― Mark M. Bello, Betrayal of Faith

“We wait. This man has skills. You don’t build a multi-million-dollar practice by being an idiot. The fact he’s had some hard times does not mean we should underestimate him . . .”
― Mark M. Bello, Betrayal of Faith

“What tenacity! What spirit! I feel so alive in her presence. I can conquer the world with her by my side. If she'd let him, he'd violate his rule about becoming involved with a client . . .”
― Mark M. Bello, Betrayal of Faith

“The individual psychological stages in the lives of most people are:

1. To be hurt as a small child without anyone recognizing the situation as such
2. To fail to react to the resulting suffering with anger
3. To show gratitude for what are supposed to be good intentions
4. To forget everything
5. To discharge the stored-up anger onto others in adulthood or to direct it against oneself”
― Alice Miller, For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence

“We seek compensation, true, but we also seek to prevent future abhorrent conduct by this or any other priest. We seek to punish a vicious predator of children and the religious institution that stands idly by and watches while a whole generation of God’s precious children are physically and psychologically raped of their childhood, their faith, and their trust in role models. This is about a hierarchy whose solution to the problem is to send the offending priest packing, quietly pay off victims, and actively cover up crimes. The cover-up is responsible for a vicious cycle of crime upon crime. This lawsuit says we will not go quietly like those who came before us. The vicious cycle stops here and now.”
― Mark M. Bello, Betrayal of Faith