Jonah Hex #63
"Ship of Doom!"
Michael Fleisher, story - Dick Ayers & Tony DeZuniga, art - Ross Andru & Dick Giordano, cover

Jonah Hex & Mei Ling, in the hold of the ship Malay Tiger, have discovered that the ship is smuggling opium. Capt. Quirt, Barnaby Sledge and several crewmen descend into the hold with Sledge explaining why Jonah & Mei Ling were really brought aboard the ship. Seems like the Capt had killed a crewman via keelhauling and they need Jonah to replace him. As for Mei Ling....heh heh heh, if'n ya know what I mean.

Well, Jonah responds to that by slamming Sledge's head into a huge timber, splitting his skull and killing him. The rest of the crew rushes Hex and they finally take him by slamming a crate over his head. Quint orders that Jonah be stripped and held down and Quint commences whipping Jonah across the back.

Of course, one of the crew decides to protect Mei Ling from the horrible sight by holding her head against his chest.

Once Jonah recovers, he is put to hard work and then after an undisclosed amount of time one of the crew starts complaining about cramps. He breaks out in a terrible sweat and three other crewmen realize that he has cholera. They grab him and toss him overboard in order to save themselves.

The ship's doctor comes running and explains that cholera is passed through food and water, throwing the man to his death did nothing to save the others, in fact he can spot it in several of the other crew, including Jonah. The Doc orders all of the infected men to bedrest, thinking to himself that at the best, in two weeks maybe 15% percent will survive.

Needless to say (but I'm gonna say it anyway) after nine days Jonah is suffering from a high fever and is having delusions, delusions that take him back to the winter of 1848 when he was just 10 years old. Jonah comes home from rabbit hunting to find...

At one point Woodson takes a broken bottle and heads for Ginny. That's when Jonah steps in between them and...
Woodson then grabs the broken bottle and starts chasing Ginny around the house. Ginny is screaming at the top of her lungs and Jonah suddenly snaps out of his fever dream to find himself in the bunk in the ship but the screams continue. Once Jonah makes his way through the ship, he discovers that Mei Ling has been trying to take care of the sick crew on the deck but Capt. Quint is trying to force himself upon her.

Jonah stumbles up the stairs, but he is still sick and Quint starts pummeling him. Quint pulls out his whip once again and Jonah grabs a crate hook.

Whip - 0, Crate Hook - 1

Of course, Jonah grabs Quint's dying body and heaves it overboard. Mei Ling shouts for him to stop, but it too late. Jonah has just thrown overboard the only man well enough to navigate the ship. The entire crew is either dead or dying except for the doctor, Mei Ling, and a very sick Jonah Hex.

Jonah and the doc heave the corpses overboard and for the next 22 days they survive on fish they catch as the men continue to die. Then late one night a huge storm hits the ship. Jonah is doing the best he can to hold the ship together. Jonah shouts for help from the doc who is below deck, trying to lash the water casks doen so they don't break but it is too late, the ship slams into some rocks and the entire ship breaks apart.

Jonah Hex, Mei Ling and the doctor are thrown into the water and the sharks start swarming. In two creepy panels, the Doc goes down.

Mei Ling makes it to a life boat but Jonah is too far away and realizes that he has to fight the shark. You read it right. Jonah Freaking Hex vs. a Freaking Shark!!!!!

and when this man who is badass incarnate dives below the waves to encounter the shark on its own terms he learns... he will be fighting TWO FREAKING SHARKS!



Mei Ling, Mistress of the Obvious! But on the plus side, them there shark be-yotches are bleeding a whole lot more than my man.

Mei Ling bandages Jonah bitten leg and they lay in the lifeboat, embracing each other. Seven long days later they are picked up by another ship bound for San Francisco. The ship's surgeon is able to treat Jonah for the bite and he says that Jonah will be on crutches for a few weeks. Once the doc leaves, Jonah apologizes for how he has messed up their lives and he wants to start over.

Mei Ling replies that sometimes people love one another but there is no way that they can be happy together. They tried hard to be married, but they only made each other miserable and Mei Ling tells Jonah goodbye.

Three weeks later in San Francisco Mei Ling is leaving the ship and Jonah presses her once more. Mei Ling says that she will not change her mind and that she is going back to her brother's house to take care of their son, Jason.

Statistics for this Issue

Men Killed by Jonah - 2 and two sharks!
Running Total - 362, a snow leopard, and TWO SHARKS!
Jonah's Injuries - Whipped, knocked out, contracted cholera, shark bite on left leg.
Timeline - Wow, let's add this up shall we? An unknown number of days (let's say a week) + 9 days + 22 days + 1 week + 3 weeks = 66 days (two whole months!) Add that to the 129 days from the time this adventure started we end up with 195 days, placing this end of the voyage around the middle of November. So, whatever year this took place, Jonah was out of the country from May 1st to the middle of November 1876

Let's take a look at the flashback to 1848. Ginny left Woodson in June of '48, so this had to take place between Jan and, oh, let's say, end of March (depending on where the Hex family called home), so that places Jonah's birthday in that timeframe rather than in November.

As a storyline, this has been one of my favorites with Jonah being a fish outta water (hee hee, I made a funny, see? Jonah was fighting sharks and I made a reference to fish? Ahhh, never mind), Mei Ling endangered, and foreign intrigue. A+ all around on this storyline.

Did I mention the SHARKS?!?!?! Take THAT Devil Dinosaur!

Next Issue: Jonah has to face the dangers of San Francisco and Sharon Hillard!!!! (there's no way to make this sound exciting, but be here nonetheless, okay?)

Jonah Hex #57 Feb 1982
"The Debt"
Michael Fleisher, story - Ross Andru & Tony DeZuniga, art & cover

First off, welcome Ross! It's good to see ya. I always enjoyed your work.

It's night and Jonah is hitching his horse outside a saloon and we hear from inside a ruckus starting up that sounds like a woman is getting smacked around. Jonah walks in and orders a whiskey. There is a silver-haired woman on the floor with four thugs standing around her calling her a tramp.

Jonah tells the bartender to leave the bottle, politely lifts the hat off the head of thug #1 and smashes the whiskey bottle on his skull. Thug #2 starts to pull a pistol, but Jonah gives him a blow to the gut and then the jaw. Thug #3 jumps Jonah from behind, but Hex, using leverage, lifts the man and tosses him over the bar into the mirror. Thug #4 pulls a knife and tries to stab Jonah. Hex side-steps, grabs the man's arm and breaks it for him. Then, as a reminder not to mess with a Hex, Jonah busts an oak chair over his skull.

Jonah then walks over to the woman, helps her off the floor and says "Them hardcases didn't hurt yuh none, did they, ma?"

The woman is Ginny Hex! She comments that she hardly recognized Jonah under all that... but Jonah cuts her off, saying he came as soon as he got her letter. The barkeep demands payment for the mirror and Jonah forks over $500 (little over $9000 today).

Jonah lets his mom ride his horse and he walks alongside through the town. She says that she knows she has no right contacting Jonah after over 25 years, but she is in trouble and owes $2,000 ($36,000) because she borrowed some money from Dirk Jagsted, a local gambler.

Jonah asks what happened to the money and Ginny stammers that she spent it on a man who ran out on her. They head for the stable and bed the horse for the night and Ginny leads Jonah to her room in the back of the stable. Ginny offers Jonah the bed (a mattress on the floor) but he declines, saying that in the morning he'll decide how to handle Jagsted.

However, he lies awake, thinking back 27 years, to the June 1848. He had just turned 10 and had gotten into a fight with several boys who had been calling his mom a tramp. Young Jonah gave it his best shot, but the four boys took turns holding him and beating him senseless. As they leave Jonah bleeding in the grass, they remind him one more time that his mom is a tramp. Much later, Jonah hobbles home where his mom is surprised to find him bloodied.

Woodson, however, makes no bones about not coddling Jonah. He says that he has a moonshine run to make and that he'll be back home around noon tomorrow. Much later, there is a knock at the door and Jonah answers it. At the door is a traveling salesman name Preston W. Dazzleby. The salesman is a dry goods merchant that is wanting to show some of his wares. He pulls out a dress and shows it to Ginny.

Ginny, never taking her eyes off Preston, tells Jonah that it is time for bed, while she samples what Preston has in his case (if'n ya know what I mean. wink wink nudge nudge). Jonah heads off to bed, laying there, reliving the terrible things that the other kids said, thinking about terrible ways to get his revenge... eventually he hears some laughter and gets out of bed to investigate. Walking down a short hallway, Jonah finds the door ajar and peeks through.


Jonah sees Dazzleby getting dressed and his mother packing a suitcase. Jonah steps into the room with a simple "Ma?". Ginny kneels down and explains that she is leaving because Woodson beats her when he gets drunk. She and Preston are heading for St. Louis and when they get settled, they'll send back for him. Ginny & Preston load up the wagon and ride off into the night, leaving a ten year old Jonah standing in the dark, abandoned in his house.

27 years later, Jonah is roused from his remembrances by shouting outside the stable. Turns out it's Jagsted wanting his money. Jonah gets dressed and walks out of the room into the stable, facing Jagsted and his three men. Jagsted states that he has no idea who Hex is but he wants his money from that 'broken-down tramp' and on the count of three, he'll blow Jonah's head off. How far does he get? Guess.

The other three men draw down on Jonah, only to end up bleeding their life out on the straw floor. Ginny comes out and Jonah says that the debt has been paid in full. He pulls out a roll of bills, handing them to his mom. Then they part...


and we don't see Ginny ever again.

Statistics for this issue
Men killed by Jonah - 4
Running Total - 345
Jonah's Injuries - none
Timeline - 1875. Scientists have determined that 1875 was a celestial anomaly and actually had 3279 days instead of the standard 365. Scientists refer to this as a Running-Broad-Jump Year. This story covers just one evening in 1875 and one day in 1848.

This takes place a year prior Jonah's first run-in with the law and just a few months prior to his first fight. We have more than one reference to Jonah 'just' turning 10 in early '48 so I'm resigned that Jonah's birthday is NOT in November.

We have only seen Jonah's mom once before and that was not the best family experience.

This is a pretty painful story to read, even though I have not experienced any abandonment issues in my family. Ginny is constantly referred to as a 'tramp' and I'm not sure if Fleisher meant that she was just kinda 'loose' or if she was an actual prostitute. Either way, she is a very sad woman with a very sad life. Not having seeing her son for 27 years and when he shows up, he's horribly disfigured and ends up walking out of your life, must have been very painful, but it DID seem that all she was concerned about was the money.

No mention of Mei Ling, so this one could have been in the chute, waiting for a scheduling delay. Like all of the stories recently, this was shortened due a backup El Diablo feature.

Next Issue - A lost Treasure and a trick dog.

Jonah Hex #51 August 1981
"The Comforter!"
Michael Fleisher, story - Dick Ayers & Tony DeZuniga, art - Tony DeZuniga, cover

Jonah is wanting to head into town but Mei Ling is reminding him that the baby is due at any time and she is wanting him to stay home. Jonah is having the same problem I have, being alone when I'm trying to buy a surprise for my wife. Take this for example. My wife saw a ring she wanted at the store and hinted that she wanted it. While she was wandering around the mall I managed to sneak back into the store and buy the ring. I had the clerk hold it for me because I KNEW that my wife would want to swing back by, look at the ring and hint once again that she would like it. If the ring was gone, then she would demand that I empty my pockets to prove that I didn't have it. I also told the clerk to lie about me coming back in.

Sure enough, my wife wanted to look at the ring again and when it was gone she started asking if they could get another one in. The clerk waiting on us was different than the one I dealt with and she kept looking at me really weird. She finally said "A gentleman purchased the ring earlier and had it placed on hold. Let me look at the number and see if we can order another one." She brings the ring out and it HAS MY NAME ON IT! My Lovely Wife is looking at something else and I'm trying to shoo the clerk away when suddenly, out of nowhere, the original clerk snatches it out of her hands and elbows her aside. Lovely Wife turns around and the clerk who helped me says, "I'm terribly sorry, but the gentleman who put the ring on hold had us deliver it not 5 minutes ago and the paperwork won't be back with the courier for about another 2 hours so there is no way for us to determine if we can order another one of those rings."

Lovely Wife glared at me as if something was up, looked at the clerk and totally bought that lying man's story.

Wait, this is supposed to be about Jonah. Okay, I'm back on track. Jonah is trying to get into town to purchase a comforter for Ling and the baby and he finally gets his way. Meanwhile in town, a horrible hardcase shows up and starts terrorizing the local bar, saying that he's waiting for Hex in order to kill the scar-faced former bounty hunter. A bunch of kids gather at the door of the saloon to see the ruckus and one young fella, Petey, starts laughing at the idea of Hex being outgunned by this slimeball. Needless to say, said slimeball don't cotton to being ridiculed.

Jonah arrives in town and picks up the comforter at the general store and the sheriff walks in, warning him about the dirtbag at the saloon. Jonah says that he is heading home and won't have any of it. When he steps out of the store, the weasel is standing there, calling Jonah out. Hex tells him that he isn't carrying and the trashbag tosses Jonah one of his own. Hex pitches the gun to the ground and walks away, the weaselly-slimeball-dirtbag calling him a coward and the townspeople aghast that Jonah has turned tail.

Jonah spend the next hour at a cafe, not eating the meal he ordered and having a flashback.

April, 1848. Woodson Hex takes his son to the fair. Woodson, being the drunken bastard that he is, wants Jonah to enter a boy-fighting contest. 25 cent entry, $10 prize for going three rounds. Jonah says that he just turned 10 and the other kid looks a lot older. Woodson asks if he has raised a coward and Jonah gets into the ring.

At the sound of the bell, Jonah lunges for the other kid but gets the living snot beat out of himself in the first round. Woodson goads Jonah back out for the second round, even though Jonah is begging for it to stop. At the start of the second round, Jonah gets a quick one to the side of the head, an uppercut and then a ten count as he lays there, bloody, dazed and battered. Woodson drags Jonah from the ring and starts slapping him and calling him a coward. A worthless coward.

.....
Hex looks at the clock in the cafe and realizes he better be getting on home. Petey meets him in the street and asks if it's true that Jonah is a coward. Petey is beaten up and just then the weasel shows up. Jonah asks Petey if this is the guy that gave him the black eye. Petey says that it is and Jonah swiftly drops the weasel with three hard punches.

Hex turns and starts walking away but the weasel draws and shoots Jonah as he is picking up the dropped comforter. Jonah goes down and Petey sprints for Jonah's horse. With the weasel standing over Hex, ready to finish the job, Hex throws the comforter into his face and Petey tosses Hex his rifle. When the weasel pulls the comforter down, he's staring down the barrel. And, of course, it's the last thing he ever saw.

Jonah gathers up his stuff and rides back home. The doc and his wife are there and Jason Woodson Hex is snuggled in bed with his mom. Jonah apologizes for not being there and Mei Ling says that it doesn't matter. Jonah gives her the comforter and she wraps Jason in it. Jonah picks up his boy and asks if he has anything to say to his paw. Jason replies...

Statistics for this Issue
Men killed by Jonah - one.
Running Total - 329
Jonah's Injuries - Shot in left shoulder
Timeline - A few months since last issue. The snow is gone and everything around the farm is green. So it must now be 1876. Right? I'm sticking with that. Now, the flashback was in 1848 and Jonah had just turned 10. With his birthday in November, that means that he turned 10 in 1847 so he must have been born in 1837, not in 1838. So THAT means that last issue, when Jonah turned 37, it was 1874, not 75, so this story does take place in 1875.

I've read that when folks are trying to determine things like timeline and what not, they use a date that was stated most of the time and work other dates around that, determining that references to incorrect dates were just mistakes. Jonah's dates have always been 1838 - 1904, but almost all of his childhood flashbacks are when he 'just turned 10' and it's in the spring. Do we go with the bulk of flashback references or the given birth year? Or do we do what my wife suggests "It's a comic book. Let it go. Or get off your butt and find the guy that wrote these and see what HE says."?

Anyway, a nice story with a flashback to abusive Woodson. It kinda explains why Jonah was such a sadistic bastard towards Blackie and Mange and why he let the dogs eat the circus owner in Jonah Hex #1 Vol 2. My only complaint is that Pappy Hex looks different every time we see him. And we have seen him a lot. It's also a short story because of a Bat Lash backup feature.

Next Issue: kidnapping, sucker-punching, wife-slapping and it all ends with Jonah getting blown all to hell.

Since Chris gave a recap of the Legion Christmas story that appeared in the 1980 Super-Star Holiday Special, I thought I would post the entire Jonah Hex story. I shall refrain from wishing you a Merry Hex-mas, but I will wish you a very merry Christmas & I hope that you are blessed in an unexpected (or even expected) way.