Jonah Hex V2 #44 Aug '09

"The Six Gun War Part 1"

Texas 

Jonah is riding along in a thunderstorm when a dead Indian falls from the sky, and then another. Jonah looks ahead and a huge rain-wrapped twister has hit an Indian village and is dropping natives and horses from the sky. Jonah continues onward, closing the eyes of a dead Indian boy and eventually riding into a fort. Jonah addresses a soldier, Major Newbury. The Major turns and says "You must be the bounty hunter." Jonah inquires if the damage is from the tornado and the Major explains that it came upon them quickly and didn't go well for the Comanche.

Jonah asks about a huge pit that the soldiers are pulling Indian corpses from. Newbury explains it was an escape tunnel that was unto a teepee and they found it before the storm hit. Jonah calls him a liar in that it is not an escape tunnel and wasn't meant to be one. This ruffles Newbury. Jonah says that Newbury summoned him to the fort to capture some rogue Comanches but the Comanches here in camp wouldn't have run off with their bravest men outside the fort, plotting an escape. Jonah says that the hole was a shelter fashioned for this time of year.

Newbury tells Hex not to worry about a few dead Indians, seeing as to how Jonah's troubles began months ago in order to spring the trap into which he has just stepped. Then we see Quentin Turnbull, El Papagayo and Papagayo's men emerge from the pit. Turnbull pulls a pistol and shoots Hex in the left shoulder, knocking him from his mount. Newbury bends down, relieving Hex of his weapons and Papagayo gives him a quick kick to the wounded shoulder. Turnbull tells the men to beat him but not kill him....not yet.

Several hours later Jonah is a bloody mess and the beating continues. Turnbull explains that the trap was carefully set, but the tornado was not part of the plan, and Turnbull will savor every ounce of Hex's pain. He instructs the men to pick Hex up, they are leaving.

Several hours later in El Paso, it in night in the cemetery. Turnbull tells Papagayo that an unmarked grave is befitting a coward such as Hex and Papagayo says that they should have slit Hex's throat. Turnbull says the beating left him drained enough of blood and besides, suffocation is much more painful. Turnbull, Newbury, and Papagayo mount up and heads for their homes.

The Grave Robbers

Rain pours down and two men are digging up graves. One is relating a story of his dog greeting him from a long day away. He really misses that dog. The other man asks if he will get a new dog if there is enough gold on the corpse they are digging up. The first man says he won't, it does too much damage to a man's heart to keep burying dogs. When they open the pine box, they realize that Hex is alive, drag him out and get some whiskey in him. Jonah snatches the bottle from them, stumbles to his feet and makes off with the whiskey. They demand to know where he is going. He replies "mexico"

The Gambler

Two weeks later in Chihuahua, Mexico, Bat Lash is in a poker game with some men who are not happy to be losing. Bat explains he is in their establishment, playing with their marked cards and it was simple enough to turn the tables on them.They stand and draw their pistols but Bat says that they are all civilized men...

The Hired Gun

Tallulah Black steps from the shadows with a sawed off double barrel shotgun and she says she has an offer for the men. They laugh, wanting to know what an ugly woman could offer them. Bat says that they should hear the lady out. Tallulah tells Bat that if he splits his winnings she'll insure he won't end up dead. Bat says it is a deal. Tallulah first one, then another. The third gets a shot off but she guns him down (three shots from a double barrel shotgun (which really chaps me, because you can't put three shells in a double barrel).

Lash tells Tallulah that he is impressed and that she reminds him of someone. He suggests that they beat feet but Tallulah says they are in Mexico, there ain't no law. He invites her for a drink and she says he COULD be charming and they step outside.

The Men of a Thousand Cruelties

Bat Lash notices several men come riding through town and he says that this isn't good. Tallulah wants to know who it is but Bat mounts up and tells her to leave now. A bullet takes off the top of Bat's hat and El Papagayo, Quentin Turnbull and the rest block their way. Papagayo, being who he is, plays nice, as if he and Lash are old friends and asks the name of Bat's whore and that she is unusually ugly. 

Tallulah responds with her name and says she will happily shove the parrot up El Papagayo's ass. El Papagayo busts out laughing and Tallulah comments on how bad he smells. He responds that he can take a bath but she will always be an ugly one-eyed whore. She starts to draw but Bat intervenes and says that he and Tallulah must be leaving. However, El Papagayo reminds him that he had been told to stay out of Mexico forever. El Papagayo then boasts that he was just in Texas and ran into Hex. 

Tallulah asks if he ran into Hex, how is he still alive? Bat asks that she knows Hex? And El Papagayo explains that they killed Hex and since Bat helped Hex ruin El Papagayo's business of selling guns to the Apaches and now he will kill Bat Lash in retaliation. Lash says they should let Tallulah go, she has nothing to do with that. Suddenly two lassos drop over Bat and Tallulah and they are yanked off their horses and drug through town. Quentin says he is returning to his mines in Mariposa and he wants more of Papagayo's men to help.

We switch to Hex who has been staggering across desert sands for two weeks and comes upon a sand choked town. Everyone in town is massacred, the church bell clanging in the sand storm. He continues staggering through the town and into the jail. He spots Lazarus Lane locked in a cell. Hex asks what happened and Lane says it was El Papagayo. He tells Hex to open the cell but Jonah's knees buckles and he collapses on the floor unconscious.

Statistics for This Issue
Men Killed by Jonah - Zero
Running Total - 767 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 265 V2)
Jonah's Injuries -Shot in the left shoulder (AGAIN!?!?), beaten to a pulp and buried alive
Timeline - 13 days
Rape Percentage -  25% (11 of 44)

This was pretty much a departure for J&J, who usually wrote One & Dones. First I'll get the complaints out of the way:

* The three shots from a double barrel shotgun (something that can't happen, to my knowledge)

* The art is very heavy on the inks, a LOT of shading and black, to the point we get no facial features on some characters.

* The artwork was somewhat confusing regarding the tornado, the fort, and the hole/escape tunnel. I wasn't sure if there WAS a fort and it wasn't very clear about how Turnbull and El Papagayo were able to hide in it.

Storywise... This one packs a LOT and promises a lot. We have almost everyone in the Hex universe except for Scalphunter and The Chameleon. I did enjoy that Turnbull's elaborate plan was elaborate in getting Hex into the trap but once they had him, they were quick to shoot him, beat him and bury him. It was only a stroke of luck that Jonah was saved, and even at that, he is barely surviving.

Tallulah and Bat lash had their own violent 'meet cute' and Tallulah barely tolerates Lash's verbosity, not unlike Hex. All in all, a good start to a six part epic, so hang on and we'll ride this one all the way to the end.

There was also a five page preview of Justice League: A Cry for Justice

Next Issue: El Diablo shows up, Tallulahholds her own against El Papagayo, and we meet Blue Eagle

 Outsiders #8 Aug '24

"Hex"

Jackson Lanzing and Collin Kelly, story - Robert Carey, art - Roger Cruz and Adriano, cover

"Sawbones The First Half"

Jonah Hex V2 #30 June '08
"Luck Runs Out"
Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti - story, Jordi Bernet- art and cover


Jonah is passed out on the desert sand, whiskey bottles spelling out his name. We are given a two-page sepia flashback of Jonah's life, leading us to this moment. His birth, his mother leaving, the abuse by his father, being sold to the Apache, the Civil War, his scarring, bounty hunting, meeting Mei Ling, Jason being born, Mei Ling leaving in the night with Jason, and finally, Jonah drinking himself into a passed out stupor in the town of Desperation.

Last Stop for the Damned

Desperation, population 10 6. The train pulls into the station and everyone in town perks up from their dreary lives. The people that get off the train are not the regular workers, they are Lucky Dave and his outfit. They kill the engineer as the train stops and Dave tells the station master to get everyone in town into a safe place where he can keep track of them.

  Dave tells Samson, Whitey and Belle to secure the townsfolk. Chuck and Gary will help Dave open the safe on the train. Dave figures they have a few days to get out of town before the Texas Rangers show up. Dave demands of the station master information as to how many horses are in town. He tells Dave that there is an old mare and then the horse that belongs to the fella sleeping off a drunk in the hotel. Just two horses.

  When Dave had scouted the town, there was a working stable. Now they are rethinking having killed the engineer.

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

 Whitey, Belle, and Samson herd everyone over to the hotel so they can gather up the drunk. Samson heads upstairs and when he enters the room, he finds it empty. Jonah jumps out from behind the door and plunges a broken whiskey bottle into Samson's throat.

All Things in Moderation

  Back at the train, Chuck and Gary are questioning the amount of dynamite that Dave has placed around the safe. Dave assures them that he learned safe cracking from Wilcox Monroe (whom Gary remembers as missing fingers on his right hand). They back off a safe distance and light the fuse and blow the entire train to hell and back. The engine is damaged and all the boxcars are on fire.

  Dave hurls his hat to the ground in disgust, cursing a blue streak and Gary and Chuck start chuckling. Dave takes umbrage and guns them both down. Standing over their warm corpses, Dave states that there are two horses in town, one for him and one for Belle (which doesn't bode well for Whitey or Samson)

  Speaking of Samson, upstairs in the hotel, blood is spurting from his throat through the neck of the bottle. He pulls out the bottle and throws Jonah on the bed, strangling him. Jonah reaches up, into Samson's throat, and pulls out as much tissue as he can. Samson falls dead to the floor. Jonah stands up, finds a bottle, drains it.

  Downstairs, Whitey and Belle are getting nervous. Dave walks in and Whitey wants to know if the safe is open. Dave wants to know where Samson is. Whitey says Samson is still upstairs and Dave orders Whitey upstairs.

  As Whitey leaves, Dave whispers to Belle that Chuck and Gary used too much dynamite and destroyed everything. They have to grab the two horses and get out of town. Just then they hear a scream and Whitey's mutilated body crashes to the ground outside. Dave grabs Belle and heads outside. The smoke from the burning train can be seen for miles, drawing the Rangers straight to this town.

  They arrive at the stable and find the old mare....dead. Dave loses it and kicks the dead horse, only to have the side cave in and he gets his foot stuck in the rotting carcass. The townsfolk show up and grab Belle and Jonah enters the corral, gun drawn. Jonah wants to know who named Dave 'Lucky'. Dave states that it was his Mom, since he was the only kid to survive birth.

  They trade barbs back and forth and finally Dave demands to know who is holding a gun on him.

  Belle starts entreating Dave to shut up, but Dave continues to berate and insult Hex. Jonah tells the townsfolk to help Dave up and put a gun in his hand. The station master obliges and tells Dave just who Hex is but Dave is having none of it. He shoves the station master aside and stands his ground.

  Dave pulls his pistol and gets off three pulls of the trigger....



Statistics for This Issue
Men Killed by Jonah - Three, Samson, Whitey, and Lucky Dave
Running Total - 673 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 181 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - Strangled
Timeline - Three days. The station master mentions that Hex showed up three days ago. Spring of 1876, right after "The Haunting."

  This is one of the funnier stories, what with all the 'luck' that Lucky Dave has. One thing about being lucky, you have to know if you have good luck or bad luck. I think that Dave was blessed with the latter. Bernet's artwork sets a nice tone here and the town itself reeks of bad luck itself. All in all, plusses all the way around for this tale.

Next Issue: Jonah encounters the Red Hood... Mask

Jonah Hex V2 #20 Aug '07
"Unfinished Business"
Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti - story, Phil Noto - art and cover

The Gentlemen's Posse 
Darkness on the open plain, a small campfire burns in the night, a slumbering gunman asleep nearby. Five men on horseback ride up, silently dismount and move into the camp, weapons at the ready. They tell Hex to get up but he doesn't stir. Again they order him to rise. Nothing. They lift his hat to learn that Jonah Hex is in a stone drunken stupor, unconscious and under the effects of strong spirits. One of the men wonders if they should shoot him in his sleep. The leader orders them to get the rope from Hex's horse.

Daylight and the world is upside down. Better yet, Jonah Hex is hanging upside down, hogtied and hanging from a tree with the words "Courtesy of Mr. Park" scratched into the sand underneath him. Jonah regurgitates the contents of his stomach and the gathering vultures peck at the offering greedily. Jonah hangs there, assessing his situation when he spies the wolves trotting towards him. He tries to coax a vulture closer and finally ends up biting his own tongue hard enough to cause it to spray blood which attracts the vultures. One of the birds strays to close to Hex and he lunges as best he can, grabbing the bird's neck in his teeth and biting the head clean off.

The wolves (or are they wild dogs?) descend upon the bird's bleeding torso as Jonah takes the vulture's head in his teeth and uses the beak to start cutting away at the ropes wrapped around his chest. The rope parts and Jonah crashes down onto the bloody vulture/wild dog picnic and the dogs commence to tear into him. Suddenly a gunshot rings out and the dogs scatter. It is then that Jonah finally sees Hector, Mr. Parks henchman/partner.

Hector explains that he has a vested interest in having Mr. Parks know that Jonah Hex is dead. He does not plan on killing Hex, just giving him enough of a warning to stay out of Sulphur Springs for the rest of his days. Hector's men hold Hex down as Hector stomps on Jonah's hands, breaking all of his fingers (Kinda like what Preston did way back in the day).

That Damn Idiot
Jonah starts walking across the desert and he sees several men on horseback swiftly approaching him. Through the dust and heat he recognizes the lead horseman is none other than Chako! Hex jumps up on Chako's horse behind him and Chako requests that Hex shoot the men that are chasing them. Turns out that Chako has stolen a horse. Jonah reaches around Chako, grabs the reins and pulls the horse up short, throwing them both to the ground. The pursuers dismount and Jonah makes short work of them, headbutting and kicking them to the ground. Chako finishes one his own self.

Chako jumps up and starts thanking Hex. Jonah looks down at his busted hand, slowly forms a fist, and punches Chako in the jaw.

Chako, in his own way, ends up talking through getting punched and explains that he stole the horse because it belonged to a lovely woman named Rachel. When Hex asks about the mute girl back in Two Pines, Chako reveals that he is too handsome for just one woman. Hex commandeers a pistol and a horse from one of the unconscious men and then rides off. Chako, being Chako, decides that he and Hex are heading the same way and follows a safe distance behind, but still within earshot.

The Kindness of a Familiar Whore
The Oklahoma Panhandle - It's night and Chako is still talking as they ride into town. Jonah rides up to the saloon where we meet the blond hooker from last issue. She remembers Hex and she accompanies him and Chako into the saloon. Hex tells Chako to cheat at cards until he has enough money to buy them dinner. Jonah asks the woman her name (Dusty Rose) and asks a favor of her. When then get down to brass tacks Jonah reveals that he'll pay her $500 for a week's worth of work in Texas.

About that time, a row starts at the poker table where Chako is at. A couple of men are accusing Chako of cheating until Hex steps up and they recognize him as the guy that burnt down the Rio and they leave Chako alone.  Hex tells Chako that after tonight they are parting company.

The Explosive Conclusion
Sulphur Springs, Texas, Three weeks later. Mr. Parks and Hector are discussing their latest business venture of having added dice to their gambling establishment. Hector is suggesting adding fighting matches but Parks finds the idea somewhat grisly. Just then all of Parks men walk into the room, asking why they were wanted. Parks is confused and they produce a note that is supposedly signed by Horace. As Parks is placing something in the wall safe, he finds a note and asks Horace if he put it in there.

Hector reads it and states that they have a problem. We then hear a shout from outside and they look out the window to see Jonah Hex and Dusty Rose standing next to a dynamite plunger on the ground outside in the darkness. That's when Parks realizes that Dusty was the woman with him last night and that she has wired the room with dynamite. Hex slams the plunger down with his foot and the whole second floor of the saloon meets up with God Almighty. Bodies rain down and Dusty states "That was unexpected." to which Jonah retorts "Not bad for a whore".

Statistics for This Issue
Men Killed By Jonah - 5.
Running Total - 626 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 134 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - Hung upside down, busted hands, bitten bloody tongue
Timeline - This is after the adventures in issue 19 so it is probably around 1890. Covers about 3-4 weeks.
Rape Percentage - 35% (7 out of 20)

This one wasn't too bad. Again, Noto's work is not the best. It was good to see several folks back in the book giving us a break from the "done in one" format, but it is still written well enough that I didn't HAVE to have read #19 or even #4 to enjoy the story. Biting off a vulture head and then using the bloody beak to cut yourself free while wild dogs tear at the dead bird's carcass.... that's more badass than 90% of what Batman has EVER done (including hitting a guy with a car battery) I really enjoy Chako and wouldn't mind seeing him pop up from time to time. The bit where Jonah considers his broken hand and STILL punches Chako was worth the price of admission.

Next time: Hex encounters the secret of the Devil's Paw!

Jonah Hex: Two-Gun Mojo #5 Oct 1993

"Showdown"
Joe E. Lansdale, story - Tim Truman and Sam Glanzman, art and cover

Well, after quite some time (and a little prompting from a certain fangirl) I decided that I HAVE to finish this series, along with the rest of the Vertigo Hex.  If you need a recap, you can read
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

Okay, up to speed? Good. When we last left Jonah, he was in a huge depression in the desert with some soldiers that had been escorting Doc Williams and his band of goons. Now everybody is pinned down by a bunch of rampaging Apaches.

The story starts off with a young Apache child, clutching to a doll, smiling as his dad rubs his head and walks away... to kill all those people in the desert. The Apaches have our 'heroes' pinned down and it is pretty much a shooting gallery with a lot of internal exposition by Jonah himself. Zombie Wild Bill Hickok is standing tall and proud, pulling the triggers endlessly on his six-shooters. Of course, once he is out of bullets, he is pretty ineffectual until Jonah shouts at him to reload. This he does, and starts shooting again.

Eventually there is a lull in the attack and we get to meet the Sarge in charge of this cavalry. The Sarge explains that his men were escorting Williams and his band to protect them from Indians (how THAT came about, we don't learn). Sarge says that without Hex's fine shooting and that strange fella who never misses (except when he runs out of bullets), they would have been goners.

The sun starts to set and Sarge asks if Jonah knows Doc and the freaks. Jonah replies that they were in the church choir together and later they're gonna have a come-to-Jesus- meeting. Sarge says that he would appreciate they hold off on getting religion until AFTER they get out of this hole. As it starts to get dark, smoke rises from beyond a nearby ridge as the Apaches start cooking up the fallen horses of the cavalry. Sarge offers Jonah some chaw and then tries to catch some sleep.

Jonah heads over to talk to Doc (who is taking a dump with Wild Bill wiping Doc's bum). Jonah asks if Doc remembers him and the crazy doctor says that he must be hallucinating, he saw Hex go into the river. Jonah  replies that he has a strong stomach and that if the Apaches don't finish off the Doc, Jonah will and since he doesn't know if this band of freaks is alive or dead, he'll teach them dead one more time just to be sure.

Night falls, and under cover of darkness (I always wanted to use that line), the Apache move in. As the Indians get to edge of the hole, gunfire erupts and as the clouds pull away from the moon, we find Doc Williams in his repaired wagon with Stringbean and the Fat Lady pulling it away, Wild Bill shooting out the back and Pumpkin Dwarf trying to repair a wheel.

As the wagon pulls away into the inky blackness, the Apaches close in on the remaining men in the hole. It devolves into hand to hand combat and Jonah and the Sarge manage to make their way out of the hole and onto higher ground. Hex shoots and Indian off his horse and jumps aboard. The Sarge says that he can't leave his command but Jonah reminds him that his command are all dead.

Seeing things in a new light, the Sarge jumps on behind Jonah but manages to get shot in the posterior in the process. They ride until the horse collapses, sometime into the morning, and they are holed up behind some rocks. However, the dust on the horizon indicate that the Apache are closing in. Sarge tells Jonah to leave him but Jonah won't hear of it. Then the Sarge forces Jonah's hand by taking his own life at the end of his pistol.

Jonah realizes that time is short but his horse is almost played out, so he lights a saddle blanket on fire and when it is full ablaze, he swings it underneath the horse to get it up and running. Throughout the rest of the day, Jonah rides the faltering stallion until it finally collapses, dead in the heat. Jonah, near death himself, slices open the horses neck and drinks its blood for sustenance.

Now on foot, what distance he had between himself and the Apaches starts to fade. Finally Jonah comes across Doc Williams Wagon of Miracle and the body of Stringbean. He continues on, seeing some smoke over the ridge and when he makes his way through the rocks he finds...

Here is where I threw up my hands with this series. I understand now that this was supposed to be a horror comic with Jonah wedged inside and I get how Vertigo is all edgy and harsh-toned, but this pushed me over the line.

Jonah finds.... Pumpkin Tom, dead, hanging upside down from a tree over the camp of Doc Williams. Zombie Bill stands by the fire as the Doc tends to the roasting torso of the Fat Lady. We even get to watch the good Doc slice off a piece and bite into it with his fanged teeth.

Hex breaks in to the little 'party' and the Doc orders Hickok to gun down Hex. What transpires next is probably the best dang part of all five issues as the red soulless eyes of Zombie Hickok stare into the brown soulless eyes of Jonah Hex and finally both men fire.


 Hex, however literally bends over backwards as Hickok's bullets sail over his head and Jonah returns fire, right square into the zombie's eyes. That, however, isn't enough to stop Hickok as he continues the pull the triggers on both pistols until he finally topples over dead... for the second time.

Doc Williams falls to the ground, begging for his life. Jonah states that he won't kill the Doc, he will let the Apaches do that work. Jonah calmly aims his pistol and blows away one of the Doc's kneecaps. Doc starts crying that Jonah promised not to kill him. Jonah replies that he is just helping out the Apache and then shoots out the other kneecap.

Jonah reminds the Doc that since the Apache have a live victim, his death will probably last 3-4 days tops and then Jonah sneaks off into the hills. The Apache advance slowly until they realize how helpless their quarry actually is and then they descend quickly, with years of pent-up hate driving them forward.

Quite some time later Hex is in a saloon, quietly drinking a toast to the dead Doctor. A couple of men at a nearby table recognize Hex and decide to collect the reward being offered in in Texas. As they easily advance upon him, Jonah suddenly pivots on his heal and shoots both men dead. Jonah lights his cigar, asks "Anyone else?" and upon receiving several negative responses, exits the saloon and rides off.

Statistics for This Issue
Men Killed By Jonah - Wow, this is gonna be a hard one. There were soooo many Apache, so let's tally up how many shots we see fired and the actual dying Indians. I count about 16. This is my blog, so I go with 16. Plus the two guys in the saloon will make the total 18.
Running Total - 627 (432 past, 55 future, 33 Vertigo, 117 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - None
Timeline - This issue covers several days.

Once again, this is a Vertigo title, so they do their best to be 'edgy' showing us people defecating and then actually eating the roasting torso of a dead woman. That is the main reason I discount these stories so much. They are too over the top just for the sake of trying to be over the top. Bleh, I don't need that junk.

I did like the story with the odd alliance in the hole, Jonah's relationship with the Sarge and the final showdown between Jonah and Hickok.

Rereading this story made me realize that Neveldine & Taylor, those two men who got paid for the Jonah Hex movie script, were influenced by the Lansdale Hex rather than the Fleisher Hex. They even had a scene from this book in their script (Waving a burning blanket under the horse).

Well, I made it through and I have to admit, it was easier than a colonoscopy. With that said, I think I will jump into the second Vertigo series because I think there are some hidden gems in there to be mined.

I will also continue on with Volume two of Jonah Hex as well. I need to get cracking to catch up with the current series.

Next: I realize that I skipped issue 18, so I head back and face the bear.

Jonah Hex #19 V2 Jul '07

"Texas Money"
Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti, story - Phil Noto, art and cover


Looking For A Bad Man -  Texas, Jonah rides into town and finds a large ring of folks surrounding a big burly man who is wielding a knife. Jonah asks what is going on and one man replies that it's a Mexican Tug of War. The man with the knife is calling everyone all kinds of names for coward. Hex asks one guy if he is going to take up the challenge of a fight. The man declines and Hex replies that the man in the circle has everyone bluffed. Hex grabs his tomahawk and enters the ring, demanding an explanation. The man explains that he works for another man looking to hire someone with enough sand to do a difficult job.

A Deal is Struck - Jonah is led into a nearby saloon and introduced to the owner, Mr. Parks. Jonah asks for the details and Parks starts in on a long winded story. Jonah asks if he is going to get to the point. Parks declares that he is not one to be talked to in such a manner. Hex starts to walk out saying to send for him when the stories are over. Parks says that he needs some men found and killed.

Jonah asks how much. Parks replies with three thousand in gold. Two of his nephews were kidnapped. Jonah is surprised that THAT amount of money wasn't enough to stir any of the townsfolk into action. Parks explains that he does have men working for him that could do it, but they are conducting other business for him. He has been expecting a ransom note, but none has been forthcoming.

Hex smells something wrong and asks how long the nephews have been gone. Three days. Jonah asks for a list of Parks enemies. Parks is taken aback at the accusation but Jonah insists that a man as powerful as Parks has made at least a few enemies. Parks admits that he has used his money to smooth over some infractions that the nephews have instigated. Hex takes his leave and Parks offers the aide of his man, Hector (the knife guy). Hex declines and leaves.

Madam Blood's Treasure - Kansas, one month later. Madam Blood helps a cowboy named Tom Leverlock into her bedroom. He is boasting of several things, his rich zinc find, his way with the women, and how handsome he is. While she distracts him with her feminine wiles, she pulls a small derringer and shoots him in the head, taking all of his money.

As she is going through the dead man's pockets, one of her girls walks into the room. Madam Blood pitches a fit and fires the girl on the spot. She then yells downstairs for Samson, her huge mentally handicapped flunky. She orders him to dispose of the body in the abandoned Creedis mine with the others and to be sure to go out the back.

The fired callgirl is standing outside and watches everything that Samson does. After some inner reflection, she goes directly to the sheriff's office.


We cut to the inside of a mine. Hex, the sheriff, a few deputies, and a handcuffed Samson are looking at the decomposing bodies. The sheriff states that Blood has been doing this for years and it appears that over twenty men have fallen victim to her. They were able to locate the mine with Samson's aid. The sheriff hands over a wanted poster for Blood and Hex says that he'll take the job, but first they have to wrap up their other business, then he'll be heading back to Texas.

Pay Attention To Details - Texas, one month later. Hex rides into the Texas town pulling a wagon with two coffins. Parks comes out and demands to see inside. Hex demands his money. Hector opens the coffins and Parks said that the deal for the money was that Hex bring in the men responsible for this. Hex explains only one man is responsible for what Parks sees, Hex himself.

Parks is stunned and demands to know who Hex is. Hector, along with several men in the shade of a nearby building explain that he is Jonah Hex, a bounty hunter, cold-blooded Confederate, and Apache raised abomination.

Hex demands his money. Parks wants to know why he should pay the man that killed his nephews. Jonah states that the state of Kansas killed the nephews after a fair trial and it took a little bit of extra work (of which Parks will pay more for) to get the bodies out of Kansas. Parks pulls a pistol and Jonah grabs Parks windpipe.

Hector and the men by the building pull their weapons and tell Hex to let go. Jonah demands his money. Hector tells Parks to pay Hex and Parks shouts that he will pay THEM the three thousand to kill Hex. Hector states that money does the dead no good.

Parks gets the money and pays Hex and then Jonah rides off. Parks tells Hector that he wants revenge on Hex and Hector strikes a deal. If he gets cut in as a full partner in all of Parks dealings, then he is on the job.

Blood runs Cold - The Oklahoma, three weeks later. I'm assuming they mean the Oklahoma territory. Jonah rides into town, locates the nearest woman and says that he is looking for a woman. She says that SHE is a woman and Jonah shows her the wanted poster. The woman says that Blood came into town a week ago, set up in the Rio, and run off a couple of girls working there. Nobody would miss Blood if she was to be gone. Hex tosses her some money and tells her to take the night off.

As Jonah approaches the Rio, he is approached in turn by one of the workers. He shrugs her off and goes inside. He flashes the wanted poster and Blood sees him from the upper floor railing. She shouts for her goons to kill Hex and as the gunfight breaks out, everyone scatters and Jonah tosses a Molotov cocktail across the room, lighting up the place like the Fourth of July. 

With Bloods men shot or running away, Jonah walks through the burning building and heads up the stairs. He spies Blood attempting to escape across the porch roof and he shoots her in the leg, pitching her off the roof and into a horse trough. He holds her under water until she cools off.

Public Service Free of Charge - Hex and Blood are in a mine and Blood is tied up. Blood says that she has gold hid, a lot more than what Hex will get paid for bringing her in, and Hex is SUPPOSED to bring her in. Jonah replies that he got Texas money just this week.

Blood starts screaming that he can't leave her to starve. What did she ever do to him? Jonah replies:




Statistics for This Issue
Men Killed By Jonah - 4. Three of Blood's men and Blood herself
Running Total - 621 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 129 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - None
Timeline - This issue covers a few months and has to take place around 1890.
Rape Percentage - 37% (7 out of 19) 

This issue was pretty good. So good, in fact, that it was made into a DC Showcase cartoon that followed the Madam Blood storyline. 

The 1890 time is from the fact that Oklahoma became a territory in 1890. It was called Oklahoma prior to that, but it was mostly referred to as The Unassigned Lands. In 1879 it was illegal to reside within the borders of the Unassigned Lands and after a long battle, Land Runs were set up and folks started settling in 1889. So I'm sticking with 1890 or thereabouts.

I do enjoy Noto's work, but some of stuff seems so machine-like. The wallpaper in Parks office and the lettering on building signs has that 'nice' computer generated feel to it. Bleh. Also, some of the folks in the book all look the same, only distinguishable by facial hair. Heck, half the time I couldn't tell that Hector was Hector.

So I give the story higher marks than the artwork. Also, re-reading this issue, I noticed a joke that Jonah made prior to entering the brothel in Oklahoma. It's subtly and a little too tasteless for me to explain here. I'm  ashamed of a couple of things. First, that I understood it and second, that I didn't get it until rereading it six years later.

Next - Vultures, Wolves, and the return of......

Jonah Hex V2 #7 Jul 2006
"One Wedding and Fifty Funerals"
Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti, story - Luke Ross, art - Giuseppe Camuncoli and Lorenzo Ruggiero, cover

Blood Creek, Texas is engulfed in flame, Jonah Hex marches down the center of main street towards several men waiting with guns.
 
Hellfire Rains on Texas - Hex fires and the bullet rips through the heart of the first gunman to fall. Jonah dives forward and we follow the path of the second bullet right into the eye of the second to die. Amidst the gunfire, Hex hits the dirt, rolling and firing. Three, four, five and six fall in quick succession and then Hex's guns are empty. A man with a rifle comments that Jonah's luck just ran out.

'Til Death Do Us Part - One week earlier we are the wedding of Peter and Margaret Decker, actually the reception following. Jonah is sitting in the corner of the tent, feet on a table, calmly smoking. Margaret comes over and tells him to have a drink to which Hex declines the offer. Turns out that Hex is waiting for the wedding to be over so that he can take Peter to El Paso even though Peter claims he is innocent.

The married couple open their presents and Decker receives a wonderful rifle from his new bride. Outside, unknown to the wedding party, several masked men with torches approach on horseback. The men hurl the torches onto the tent and as everyone tries to escape the flames, the riders open fire. The newlyweds attempt to escape but Decker is gunned down as he tries to save his wife. She starts yelling at the riders to show their faces and the leader pulls down his kerchief.

It's Brian, a man who claims to have loved Margaret first and warned her not to marry Decker. Brian fires and Hex knocks Margaret to the ground, saving her. Hex opens fire, killing Brian's horse. Brian falls to the ground, grabs up Decker's rifle, steals a horse and rides off.

Innocence in Death - El Paso, the next day. Hex rides into town with the body of Pete Decker and the $500 reward poster. The sheriff looks at the body and states that there is a strong resemblance to the guy they caught at the border yesterday and who confessed to the killing. Seems Decker is an innocent man.The sheriff asks if Hex killed him and Jonah relates the story. The sheriff says that he'll get a statement from Margaret (who came along in a buckboard) and that there will be a new bounty on Brian Albert. Hex says he'll bring him in and the sheriff asks "dead or alive?"

Hex responds, "Since when is alive an option?"

Hunting Through the Mad World - One week later. Brian Albert is riding to escape Hex even as they exchange gunfire. They encounter several dozen people fleeing across the desert, shouting for them not to go to Blood Creek. Darkness falls as the two riders pierce the edge of town and Brian and his mount are gunned down. Jonah's horse is the next to go but Jonah rolls and manages to avoid the deadly onslaught.

Hex lays in the dirt, surrounded by the gunmen and he groans out "I don't know your business here, but you just shot my horse for no good reason. I had no quarrel with you boys but that's all over now."
The men start taunting Hex and he slowly rises to his feet. He states that he isn't the law, he's Jonah Hex and that the man they killed stole something that he intends to take back. The leader says that he hopes it isn't the rifle.

Jonah replies that it is and the leader says that since he found it on a dead man, it is now his. A flunky comes out of a nearby saloon and tosses a torch onto a large pile of dead bodies saying, "Almost done Mr. Redgrave." Darkness has now enveloped the small town. Men are working on a nearby oil derrick and lightning starts dancing on the horizon. Mr. Redgrave tells Hex that he should leave town while he still can, everything will be considered a fair trade.

Thunder rolls into town, pushing the rain ahead of itself. Hex says that Redgrave should give him the rifle and Hex will let everyone live. THAT'S a fair trade. Redgrave bursts into laughter and the lightning slashes across the sky. Hex says that he doesn't care what happened in town, how many people he killed for the oil field, with what Redgrave stands to make he can buy a hundred rifles better than the one they are fighting over. Redgrave tells his men to kill Hex.

Hex pulls back his riding coat, exposing his pistols, saying "There's a choice to be made. You can live rich or you can die right here." They respond "You're scaring no one, mister."

Just then a stray bolt of lightning strikes the tallest structure in town, the oil derrick and the whole thing explodes into Hellfire and damnation! Hex pulls his pistols and starts mowing down Redgrave's men.

Now Where Were We? - Hex is out of bullets and Redgrave notes the irony of Hex being killed with the rifle he wished to possess. Hex reaches into his coat and replies, "That rifle's been nothing but trouble for any man holding it." Jonah has a sheriff star in his hand, he throws it and it catches Redgrave right in the eye.

Hex rushes Redgrave and smashes the star even further into the man's eye and into his brain. Redgrave is dead at Hex's feet. Jonah reaches down and pulls the sheriff start out of the dead man's skull and we see the words ST. ROCH on it.

Bittersweet Returns - Hex rides back with the body of Brian Albert and approaches a cabin as dawn crawls across the sky. He knocks on the cabin door, calling "Mrs. Decker? It's Jonah Hex." There is no answer and Hex goes inside. He gets to the bedroom and finds Margaret Decker in her wedding gown in bed....dead. A note leans against a bottle of poison. Hex picks up the note and...

He places two coins over her eyes and takes the body of Brian Albert into El Paso.
Men Killed by Jonah - Whew! This one is going to be tough because of the flashback/flash forward. At the beginning we see six men go down, Hex kills a man during the wedding raid, and it looks like four more when we get back to Blood Creek. Add in Redgrave and that makes 12. I'll go with that unless Palmiotti and Gray say otherwise.
Running Total - 546 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 44 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - Horse shot out from under him.
Timeline - No particular date but this one covers about a week
Rape Percentage - 2 out of 7 (29%)

I honestly have to say that I had no idea what the reference to St. Roch was and had to look it up to learn about the tie-in to Nighthawk (aka Hawkman) who was once the sheriff there.

I enjoyed the story as it had a few nice bits but I had read some other folks that felt the derrick explosion was a bit of a stretch, there only to give Hex a distraction to exploit. I enjoyed the layout of the story, starting off with the full blown action and then jumping back in time and finally getting us right back to where we started.  I was also very fond of Hex's response to the suicide note. We never see the note, making his response even more priceless.

That is one thing that really shines in this renewed Jonah Hex, the story structure is never boring. Palmiotti and Gray are constantly looking for new ways to spin a yarn and for the most part they succeed.

Oddly enough, this issue was actually solicited with a different cover that was probably considered too bloody for the comics rack.



Next Issue - Four, count 'em, four new artists and we see a slow rise in a certain percentage.