Pacey's Tots

I love it when I attribute down and depressed periods and moments to the monthly menses. The sky seems not as gloomy and cloudy right now, but, 4 weeks later, it might. However, it might be cheery things happening that's why:
1) Etihad flying to Singapore, which means I can get to see Jan after so long. When she's in Singapore, it seemed easier to meet up, hence I don't feel that I've not seen her for a long time. But now she's away, it seems long enough, though it has only been a short while.
2) Ultrasound results all clear.
3) Mugging period is starting, but I definately have ample time as long as I pace myself right.
4) Assignments are not as difficult as I had worried. Talking to my dearest classmates really helped.
5) I had just topped up my supplies of Red Rock Deli.
6) My cheapo mp3 player gave up on me. Which now gives me the ultimate license to get a new one, without feeling guilty that I had spent money unwisely.
7) Arrogant Alsonso is trailing to his rookie teammate, Hamilton. The "sore loser" face of his and Jose Mourinho never fails to cheer me up.
8) As withdrawal symptoms of the lack of soccer matches kicks in, F1 races are the next best thing.

Exam ended at 1300hrs on Saturday. Had late lunch with Dear, rested for a while at home and met up with "the guys" for dinner and boardgames. We played Runebound, which was new to us. We kinda ended up trying to figure out the rules (one was trying to read the rules and figure out some loopholes to exploit), figure out how to play the game, how to this and that, but we couldn't finish up one game of it. It was about 2200hrs and the foodcourt was closing, so Dear suggested we move to a nearby boardgame cafe to play a round of Puerto Rico but it was full house. We decided to play mahjong instead, at my place.
It was already morning by the time Dear and I slept. He woke up by noon and tried waking me up, because he knew I had things to do. But, I just slept and slept. By the time I woke up, it was 7 in the evening! Damn, whole day wasted sleeping. Can't be helped by the fact that for the past month, I've been averaging only 5 hours of sleep daily. Watch F1 and watched Man Utd lift the trophy.
Woke up around 1000hrs on Monday. Went to the library to return books, deposit money and buy the plastic covering for my table. I had wanted to "disinfect" my entire room since before CNY, but didn't have the time. 1st on the agenda was my table, which took me whole afternoon. Went out for dinner and grocery shopping, which at that time still not quite done. At night, I tidied my posters.
Slept around 0300hrs and woke up after noon. Met Dear for lunch, went to the bank, stock up on stationery and went for a 2nd round of grocery shopping, but I'm still not finished yet. There are some things which I just can't find. Reached home, rested for a while and embarked on the 2nd part of cleaning my room. I re-wrapped all my stuffed toys and changed my bedsheets and covers. I was tired and playing games on my computers, stoning away, preparing to sleep. Dear called for supper so we went to Bukit Timah to eat. Dear rented Just Follow Law, so we watch it before going to sleep.
Dear woke up early and went home first. I slept all the way till the afternoon. Practically stoned and did nothing then entire day. Now I am sleepy, class is starting tomorrow and I haven't done the readings yet.

Why are classes starting so soon?! I haven't had a long enough break! Sigh...

F1 coming to Singapore? I'm for it! Thinking of it, is just so exciting! But it's still in the "talking" stages...

MLB season has started, but I have not watched any games yet. Must remember to watch ah!!! But there's another catch... Can I wake up so early? Hehe...

My ears are driving me nuts, especially my left ear. They keep having this "on the aeroplane feeling", the kinda "bubble in the ear" feeling. Sometimes, it's so bad, when customers speak a slightly softer, I can't hear a thing. Maybe I like Phua Chu Kang, need someone to blow a whistle into my ear to "clear" it.
But what I really is a doctor to check it. When I wake up, its ok, but as I get through the day, it gets worse and worse.
People tell me to drink water, swallow salivia, hold my nose and close my mouth and breath out forcefully, bend down, etc. In the beginning, one of these methods used at any one time will keep me ok for at least a week. Now during a day, I can be using any of these methods several times.
Maybe when I wake up tomorrow and bath, I should just spray water into my ear.

I'm kinda slow in doing my notes this time. Maybe no sense of urgency because exam's in 12th May. But I have no time. I have to constantly remind myself that I have not done the essay proper yet, which might be actually good news. Taiwan just came up with some draft constitution a few days earlier and China's still "responding" to it. Luckily, I have not spend much time on my essay yet, if not, I would have wasted it totally!

Saying that, I spend much time blogging today. Gotta gambatte, do some notes before sleeping because tomorrow gotta work.

The last entry was done in jest/ zest, whteva... i was damn fed up cos a lot of decrepancies came back from the bank n i dunno wht in the hell they wanted... although i did handled LCs in the past, i never came across n did such troublesome ones! now i really truely understood faridah's fustrations when trying to nego with the bank over all these stupid bo liao docs...

i need sleep terribly... i've started work 2 weeks n averaged only 6-7 hours of sleep each nite. i'm used to clocking in 10 hours for 10 months already... i need to live healthy n sleeping at least 4 hours after yr last meal of the day is part of it. n its becos of this i cannot skip dinner so i "lose" sleep (sleep 11-12 n wake up at 6) cos i need to take my medication. i cant have dinner any earlier cos i need to have my medication at least 8 hours apart... but this week would b ok to skip dinner or have it earlier, cos i'm just on my vitamin B6. i would need this week to "recover" sleep. besides these reasons, i've been waking up early these 2 saturdays... cant really sleep in on sundays cos i wun be able to sleep at nite, n it would become a vicious cycle all over again...

but, F1 is back! tmr's 1st race at bahrain. dear says schumi will win this year... dunno true or not.

i love my workplace now cos it has internet... lol... i can do doing work with online streaming from class 95 (now 3 colleagues asked me how i got live streaming from class 95 already), msn switched on n chatting. dun have such luxury when at EM. But i thk i like machiam abuse the internet connection cos its meant for processing of B/Ls online. hehe...

the record store din call me... i thk 2nd interview buang liao...

Met up with some EM colleagues on thursday at vienna for duffet dinner. felt so good seeing them. been so long i haven been talking to them already. really missed them n the good old times at JLT. faridah say, now i cannot scream like i used to liao, which was true... when i was fustrated with the indonesia orders n customers or LC cannot nego, i would scream out to vent out my fustrations. now i just mumbled under my breath. at EM, the situation is definately less "tense" cos its a warehouse environment with the forklifts running outside n i'm inside a small room with another few colleagues. over here at CP, the big bosses are just across the office, n there's nothing to cover yr voice if u shout. really missed the times when i could "wah lau!" n grumble mumble grumble, n shout "damn idiot lor". now, i can only sigh n sigh silently... talked n talked so so much that i hoped time could stood still n we could chat some more...

On friday, dear took leave to spend the entire day with me. y so special? cos its our anniversary! so fast, one year already... time really flies...

so, he came over while i was bathing and left the bouquet he bought for me on my table. so i only saw it when i went back to my room. the bouquet had a dozen roses. the roses were not pink, nor were they red. the colour was kinda a mixture of both.

we left the house abt 1pm and made our way down to ikea for lunch. y ikea? i'm an ikea friends member n everyday, something from the menu will be specially discounted for members (limited to 2 dishes per member), besides that, there are 2 free drinks. friday was swedish meatballs day! i love the swedish meatballs at ikea.

after lunch, we went down to tiong bahru plaza. i think i'll be making trips there often from now on. reason is that they have a DMC store there. First one in singapore i've seen. DMC is a company specializing in cross-stitch and embroidery stuff, and having a store like this, i can easily get my materials. after getting some stuff from their gold concept (DMC thread "filing" system), we made our way down to plaza sing.

we picked up our tickets for Goal! and had our toilet break before going into the cinema. those who had not watched Goal! MUST watch! For someone like me who's fighting for survival and wanting a second chance at life to fufill my dreams, i can relate to the main character, Santiago Munez.

Throughout the movie, i cried a few times. i cried when munez's dad took his money to buy a van. his dad wanted to path a future and career for him by owning a business, but to munez, tt's not suited for him. he wans to play soccer, professionally. to him, tt's a career most suited for him. munez needed that money to go to newcastle for a trial. for that moment, all his hopes and dreams were dashed. Just like me, when i was first diagnosed.

then when he finally made it to newcastle, fellow reserve squad members made things difficult for him. they rough tackled him, did not pass the ball to him so he did not have a chance to show off his skills and worse of all, crushed his inhaler as he had asthma. just when he thought he had at last reached england, it would be easier from then on, but no, he still had to cross hurdles. just like me, just when i tot i had finished radiotherapy, crossed the hurdle and won the battle, and was well already, my backaches were actually signs that the cancer cells had spread, to my bones n liver. now, i have to cross another hurdle and receive chemotherapy.

At the end of the movie, i cried again. Its all smooth sailing for him. but when for me? to me, when its smooth sailing for him, it would be the day i have won this battle. dear cried at the end of the movie too.

After the movie, we went down to suntec for jap buffet dinner at kuishin-bo. not worth 40 bucks. it had ample variety that looks 40 bucks, but the dishes were salty and tasted so so only. they had a lot of meat and seafood, great for meat-lovers, and had only a salad, teppanyaki veg n cucumber sushi as proper veg only dishes. even the nabes (claypots) and soups had little veg in it although i n dear chose those. they should have a dish of stir fried shitake mushrooms or something. even the veg tempura was mostly spring onions, sweet potatos and mushrooms. but the food's really quite fresh. dessert spread variety was not bad, but few edible. really not worth 40 bucks, unless u whack the steamed crabs n prawns, soft shell crabs n ebi tempura.

after the dinner, we were walking over the tower three's (carrefour) taxi stand as there should be more taxis there, when we saw those capsule dispensers. They had one which dispenses anime, one piece, characters' handphone ornaments. i wanted ruffy n between me n dear we had only 4 1-dollar coins. one capsule cost 3 bucks n they only accepted 1-dollar coins. so we walked over to the arcarde to change for more 1-dollar coins. i changed 15 coins. while changing we saw a machine.

for 1 dollar, u can have 3 tries on this machine. u have 3 tries to accumulate a score of positive 5 to dispense a prize. prizes were like handphones, mp3 players n psp. seems easy? thy have loads of negative numbers n once u hit the "computer" n stop on those numbers, whatever score u have will be lowered, limited to zero. tried a few times for fun, but no luck. we went back to the capsule dispenser for my ruffy. 15 dollars and 5 capsules later, no ruffy but other characters, even 2 pirate bo.

then we went back to the arcarde for more coins. n of cos, we tried our luck again on the machine. no luck, but we discovered some tactics, which may or may not work. then we went back to the capsule dispenser. this time round, it was dear who put in the coins n turn the knob, guess what, it was ruffy!

we made our way to the taxi stand but it was a long q. so we called a cab n got home.

ystday, chelsea trashed bolton 5-1 n bolton was 1-0 up early in the game. when will teams learn how to hold on to their lead n win chelsea. chelsea must drop points in order for any other clubs to catch up. if not, the epl this year will be a one horse race.

just like today's f1 race, the chinese grand prix, final one of the season. it was boring... renault was 2 points ahead of mclaren for the constructors champion n alonso n fisichella were in pole n grid 2 position for the race. raikkonen was in grid 3. when the race started, fisichella was in charge of "blocking" the mclarens while alonso sped away, faster n faster lap timings with each lap to distance himself away from the mclarens so they have no chance to catch up. just when i tot raikkonen has chance to overtake alonso, the safety car's out... today, the safety car's out twice! totally spoiling the race, i think. lap by lap with the SC on, alonso cruises lap by lap in 1st position. boring...... of cos alonso won the race with raikkonen in 2nd.

Chemo on thursday. then reached home, slept... woke up for dinner, fell asleep again... then only woke up the next day ard 12. mayb slept too much, tt's y from then on, i feel energetic.

on friday, i went grocery shopping with my mum. ystday, tried some recipies with my mum again. at nite, dear came over to watch world cup qualifiers with me. today, slacked the whole day at home with dear, eating porridge my parents bought back n watching F1. at nite, went grocery shopping again...

bored, restless, bored, restless... tt's me for the past few days...

for the past week, 2 news "shook" the world. Bali attacked by suicide bombers n south asia hit by a 7.6 earthquake. wht in the world is the world coming to? here i am, fighting to live, battling with health. here there r, pple, fighting to live against mother nature. yet we got idiots who simply have no regards for life, bombing others to death. wht ironic contrast.