Living, Laughing, Loving, Learning

 Time flies when you are having fun. :)

That is how the old saying goes, and I must agree. 

Time flies, and suddenly it has been 23 years!

 Today the wind stirred up the dirt in a construction site, the red clay that we call dirt down here in the south, and it created a cloud of dust that made the world around us almost impossible to see. We were on our way to physical therapy (I have a frozen shoulder from a really ugly seizure last fall that I didn’t care for properly) and suddenly the world around us was a blur. The cars around us were covered in fog. The buildings to the side were blurry and far away.
 The dirt was blocking the path.

 Then, the rain followed the wind and the dirt was conquered.

 It reminded me of this devotion I read a few days ago.


 ”(I have) seen a storm in early spring; and all was black, save where the lightening tore the cloud with thundering rent. The winds blew and the rains fell, as though heaven had opened its windows. What devastation there was! Not a spider’s web that was out of doors escaped the storm, which tore up even the strong-branched oak.
 But ere long the lightening had gone by, the thunder was spent and silent, the rain was over, the western wind came up with its sweet breath, the clouds were chased away, and the retreating storm threw a scarf of rainbows over her fair shoulders and resplendent neck, and looked back and smiled, and so withdrew and passed out of sight.
 But for weeks long the fields held up their hands full of ambrosial flowers, and all the summer through the grass was greener, the brooks were fuller, and the trees cast a more umbrageous shade, because the storm passed by - though all the rest of the earth had long ago forgotten the storm, its rainbows and its rain.”
 Theodore Parker

 You see what you choose to see.
 You see what you remember to see.


 I will ask for your prayers.
 But mostly I will ask you to celebrate with me. I am extravagantly rich.


 Tomorrow is our 19th anniversary. We will have a nice 2.5 hour drive, a peaceful lunch, a few hours apart while I get my scan since COVID19 prevents anyone “extra” from even coming in to the hospital with me, then a joyful, celebratory drive home again.
 I am blessed.
 I am rich.
 I know the flowers will bloom after the storm, but even right now, in the middle of the rain, the dirt has settled and we can see the road again. So I rejoice.

 Be blessed my friends. Pause for a moment, take a deep breath, and choose what you see. Then rejoice because there is ALWAYS something good.

 Today is an anniversary.

 The anniversary of my father’s leaving us, of joining with Jesus, of passing away. Of Death.

 I suppose every day is an anniversary of something. Memories come and remind of the past. Words come and bring both sorrow and hope.
 My amazing Jesus has been so very involved today, using those words for hope in the midst of sorrow. Please, please, don’t ever lose sight of the strength He gives when we aren’t expecting.
 This morning as I prepped for the day a new song came on, at least new to me. It is called “Show Me”, and sung by Audrey Assad. Listen, if you have a moment. I interpreted it to be about mourning. Maybe not only mourning a person, but a dream or a hope or a desire.
 The line it starts with, “You could plant me like a tree beside the river. You could tangle me in soil and let my roots run wild...but for now just let me cry,” fit so perfectly with the words of Emerson, which had already reached out and struck me this morning that I had to stop and catch my breath.

 This Emerson quote is long, but I can’t find it in my heart to subtract anything.

  “And yet the compensations of calamity are made apparent to the understanding also, after long intervals of time. A fever, a mutilation, a cruel disappointment, a loss of wealth, a loss of friends, seems at the moment unpaid loss, and unpayable. But the sure years reveal the deep remedial force that underlies all facts. The death of a dear friend, wife, brother, lover, which seemed nothing but privation, somewhat later assumes the aspect of a guide or genius; for it commonly operates revolutions in our way of life, terminates an epoch of infancy or of youth which was waiting to be closed, breaks up a wonted occupation, or a household, or style of living, and allows the formation of new ones more friendly to the growth of character. It permits or constrains the formation of new acquaintances, and the reception of new influences that prove of the first importance to the next years; and the man or woman who would have remained a sunny garden flower, with no room for its roots and too much sunshine for its head, by the falling of the walls and the neglect of the gardener, is made the banyan of the forest, yielding shade and fruit to wide neighborhoods of men.”

— Self-Reliance and Other Essays by Ralph Waldo Emerson
http://a.co/5xwkdFX

Oh, that last line! Don’t be sad if you are no longer able to be a peaceful, quiet, pretty little flower in a garden. Know that God is taking you farther, making you grow into a tree, and thus providing shade for the world around you. Like the blog I wrote recently, about the verse with the lines “so that”...this struck me the same way. God is using every moment. Even the hard ones.
 Perhaps you need to ask Him for a moment just to cry, but don’t get stuck there. Don’t be content there.

 The chorus of the Audrey Assad song says, “Bind up these broken bones. Mercy bend and breathe me back to life...but not before You show me how to die.”

 How to die.

 What do we need to die to, so that we can be a tree, rather than a flower? What can we mourn and then let go?

 Seek truth. Find the pain that makes you better and stronger and more of what HE has called you to be and then celebrate it. Cry those tears, then rejoice in what they create.
 Blessings my friends.

 I'm running a little behind. I'm not sure exactly where this weekend went... the grocery and the garage. Our favorite places! That is sort of sad really.

 Saturday was our 11th anniversary. We didn't have access to a babysitter on Sat, but our friends down the street were willing to watch the boys for us on Thursday.
 So, we celebrated early!
 There is a place down the street that has the most delectable fried pickles. I don't eat a lot of fried food, but those pickles are totally worth it! We sat and ate in peace, talked about everything from politics to college memories, and tried to remember where we were on Thursday, 11 years ago. It was two days before the wedding and the countdown was on. Several of the out of town guests had come already. I can promise you that my mom was in a panic.
 We had totally different memories. Amazing, the things that stuck out in his mind and the ones that were important to me. Although, I don't know that any of the memories he shared were really "important" to him. Just random facts that he remembered!

 Pictures, anyone?

 I did some rearranging yesterday and tonight, here in blog land. I really should be rearranging "real" stuff here at my parent's house, packing up to move to Ft. Bragg. But Andy is gone and the bed is half empty - so I play on the internet instead.

 I feel like Inigo Montoya from The Princess Bride, but what I shall say is - "let me sum up."

 Andy graduated CBOLC on tuesday and we left Missouri ASAP. Andy drove the 12 hours to my parent's in Georgia and we fell into bed exhausted around 2am.
 The next morning we unloaded the trailer full of our stuff, met some family at the mall for lunch and left the boys with my sister.
 Amazingly, we (barely) beat the traffic out of Atlanta and made it to Ft. Gordon, finally getting to meet our new niece, Britton!


 After seeing sweet Ani up and off to school on Thursday we headed toward Fayetteville, NC and the wonderful Ft. Bragg.

 And the search began.

 We had been looking at houses online for days, but you really can't tell what you are looking at until you see it in person. You have to see the neighborhood, the carpet, the backyard before you know if it really what they are trying to present to you. To "sell" to you, even as a rental.

 We got to know the city fairly quickly, and figured out where we didn't want to live!

On a completely unrelated note: Thursday was the 12th anniversary of our first date, so we cancelled the quest at a decent hour and had a date. Slightly different then our first one, (since our first date had peanut butter sandwiches and this one included a hot tub) but I have no complaints! It was a fabulous break in a haphazard week full of driving and searching for a house.

 Twelve years!

 Friday was the day. Beginning bright and early, we were determined to find a house.

 And determination paid off. We went from one side of Fayetteville to the other, making sure we had explored every option. But we found it!

 When Andy finishes Airborne school in 3 weeks we will have somewhere to live.

 Now I just have to figure out how to get everything from here to there. Fun, fun!

***Added Pictures****
(The first picture is Andy and I, when we had been dating just a little while. The second picture is my favorite picture of us while we were dating. Unfortunately, I put a sticker on top of it at some point in time, and now I can't get the sticky yuck off -that is what the white stuff on the side is... hopefully I can find the negative someday! Anybody know who took it?)
Yesterday Andy and I celebrated the 9 year anniversary of our first date. Nine years ago we were two college kids who went to Kroger and bought a tub of peanut butter, a bag of chips and a single slice of cheesecake. We then went back to my dorm room to pick up plates, silverware, a blanket and a loaf of bread. (I was already both "green" and thrifty!) We sat on that blanket in the park by one of the rivers there in Rome, GA and watched people go by. Little did we know that the world had just changed for both of us. Or maybe we did.

After watching "I am Legend" I was, of course, slightly scared. So I picked up one of the dozen or so books on my bedside table and decided to read awhile, to take my mind off of zombie like creatures that want to eat people. Instead of reading two chapters then turning off the light and getting some much needed sleep, I instead stayed up and read THE ENTIRE BOOK! It was "Sundays at Tiffanys" by James Patterson. Obviously, I really liked it. I usually have several books going at the same time, because my mood changes frequently, (the Bible, historical, mystery, thriller, devotional, etc) but I have been especially bad lately. I literally have 12 books on my nightstand right now! I read very little last week, because I had to plan my VBS class every night, and I was always ready to go to sleep. But, that is over, and I plan to resume my former schedule. ie: read until I cannot possibly keep my eyes open for one more second, then regret it all day the next day, only to get second wind when Andy and the boys fall asleep, thus following the same pattern again, over and over until I finally get so tired that I actually go to sleep at a decent hour! After one night of really good sleep, I will then start the pattern over again! Because, I LOVE to read.