Michelle's path

I will be back soon daily as usuall. I am on CD 12 now but as you all know Im taking a break. Next cycle I will be back in. I hope our favorite donor is available then. If not, I will have to choose another one.
In Feb when I got my BFP I only took 25 mg of clomid. I plan on doing that again next cycle. I have been wondering if the high doses of clomid have been preventing a BFP for me. So, back to only 25 mg next round. It might just be my last IUI if I am accepted into the donor program. If its a BFN and I am accepted, I will go through 2 rounds of donating my eggs to build up the cash for IVF. So, hopefully I will just get my BFP.
So, thats my plan and Im sticking to it.

I had a dream last night that I was crying to my dad's step sister, or my step aunt. I havent seen her since I was 12 or 13. All I can remember is her having 2 miscarriages then years later getting her sticky BFP. But back then, I didnt understand. I knew she was pregnant and her babies died and she was so sad and upset just sitting on the couch all day crying. I couldnt understand. But now I do, and I think of her.I had a dream last night that I ran into her and I was crying and telling her shes the only one that really understands me and I was asking her how she got through it. I dont remember much of the dream but I remember me crying and feeling so hurt. Hmmmm. Oh well...I will have a baby someday I suppose.

Something I forgot to mention, and I dont know how! A couple weekends ago one of my best friends from high school was in town for her husband's family reunion. The sweet person that she is, she made time for us to spend a day with her. I havent seen Lilian in about 2 years and before that it was 3 years. She is one of the VERY few that kept in touch with me after I got married and moved to Italy. All my other friends acted as if I had dropped off the face of the earth. But not her. I've known her since 7th grade! Wow...has it really been 10 years? We were'nt friends in Jr. high school as we hung out with different crowds, but once in 9th grade, our first year of high school it was different. She sat right in front of me in homeroom, from 9th grade all the way until the end. And she didnt just sit in front of me, she did more than that for me. She was always someone to talk to, someone to tell my darkest secrets to, someone to listen to, someone to give advice as well as take it. Someone to laugh with and at times laugh at. LOL! ( a gruesome science experiment just popped into my mind! Muahahahaha! ) Anyways, we got to spend the day together and it was great. It brough back great memories and made me wish I lived closer to home. 2 times in 5 years just isnt enough times seeing her. We had a great time. Nick and I picked her and Jeff at the hotel and off to Virginia Beach we went. We spent some good time in the ocean before we got kicked off the beach due to a torrential downpour and lightning. So back to the hotel we went and we swam in the pool instead. It was a grand ole time!
Lily, I miss you!!