We're Week 5 into CSFC. In a week, we will leave the hospitals no longer with the privilege of getting let off for being clueless, coming in late and going home early without the guilt.

Unpredictable. These five weeks have seen us through much. We have learnt our examinations, seen the signs, felt the heaves, heard the murmurs. We may have also learnt the emotions, seen the tears, felt the disappointment, and heard the pleas. Some days I'm all hyped up to go talk to patients, hear their stories and relieve the dreariness in the wards. On other days, I'm inclined to hide behind the white coat, flip through medical files and look like I know what I'm doing when the contrary is true. I always wonder what that Uncle or Auntie is thinking when we're looking up their mouths, making funny sounds on their chest and pulling down their eyelids to make a funny face. They are often tense, not realizing the sweat running down our temples. Some stare blankly out the window. They don't owe us anything, but now we do, them. It is always a privilege. Always always.

Multifaceted. I remember someone once said character is very much reflected on your disposition. A face of compassion, though cheesy sounding, is often inspiring when coupled with many years of experience. Then there are those who are stoic and detached, but you know that in them is a soft spot for the sick and lonely. We don't quite look the same when we grow up do we. What does your face say about you?

Gold standard. Day in day out, medicine students begin the day by donning white coats and putting as many things as possible in their pockets - Stethoscope, tendon tapper, tuning fork, measuring tape, pen torch, neuro test kit, notebooks, Oxford Handbook et cetera, as though to make up for the lacking in the head. Clinicians on the other hand move around empty handed, carrying around only their wealth of experience, a keen eye and a sharp dynamic mind. It seems almost like a summit beyond another, an unreacheable goal. Take each day at a time, don't bite off more than you can chew.

Climb. Working in different groups this time also feels different. Some people realize a different side of their friends, some good and some less good. Stress sets in like a thief and robs us of precious time spent over a good meal, a weekend show and a discussion about Life over coffee. Different working styles become the plank in your eye and in this new ball game, we don't quite know what to expect of ourselves, much less others. It is always good to remember that this new partnership ought to be our marraige, fed with accountability, trust and humility. In a team, there should always be room for personal space, but not individualism.

The final week of CSFC will be the clincher, many things to think about, even more to learn about. There will be a need to finish the unfinished and to read the unread. To touch the untouched, and to love the unloved.

Once you had four, now left with three. I will remember you, your chipsmore cookies, the disappointment in your eyes, and smile on your lips.

God bless you.

Over reaction or not, this flu is here with us to stay. I secretly hope I get infected now, let my body react to the space invaders and create some strong IgMs and IgG, then pop in Tamiflu to combat the still sensitive strain. Maybe then will they let me back into the clinics. :( There ought to be some sense of proportion in the management of this outbreak-to-be. Here's some geek speak:

To end off a crazy week, my group had our Harvey session and the suturing course. Harvey is this amazing a life size mannequin that presents the physical findings of 30 cardiovascular abnormalities. The tutor would be in control of 1 master stethoscope, which would be synchronized with other modified stethoscopes. As a result, whatever sounds are picked up by the master stethoscope upon auscultation would be heard on all stethoscopes, which really facilitated the learning. One by one, we went through all the pathologies, learning to appreciate the subtle clicks and murmurs of the heart. Oh and if you were wondering, he isn't wearing a wig. Jeevs verified that by trying to pull off his hair. xD


Then we had suturing of course, which was really fun. It turned out to be more difficult than it looked, managing the instruments and all. After a while we got the hang of it and started having competitions. haha. Our tutor had extra time so we got to learn the subcuticle stitch, which was quite challenging but really quite amazing once it was completed. All the stitches were hidden beneath the epidermis, and no removal of stitches were required because the use of appropriate thread would mean that everything would be cleanly resorbed without any surface remnants.

CSFC thus far has been a really steep learning curve. WHAM BHAM and within 2 days we learn venepuncture, procedural skills associated with insertion of a nasogastric tube, per-rectal exam, fundoscopy, otoscopy, catheterization, breast examination, ending off with IV cannulation and intramuscular injections. Anatomy comes alive once again. Learning is no longer a furious copying of notes or reading textbooks. Learning is donning a pair of gloves and getting ready to get your hands dirty, be it with lubricant, lidnocaine gel or well, "blood". Moving around in different groups of people this time seems rather out of character, but nonetheless enjoyable. In due time, we'll get more used to each other quirks and idiosyncracies and soon we'll be on our ways to becoming good colleagues :) Baby steps. One at a time.

Mask Fitting: the objective of which to ensure that all healthcare workers are aware of which model of masks fits the best and is necessary in times of outbreak or epidemic. Here's a video of MJ having his mask fit test done.

On a more unrelated note, KQ, Yukit and I went to Holland V over lunch break for some chicken rice and kaya toast. :) Happy food. (Happy Birthday Yukit!)

CG4 after Mask Fitting. MJ had actually fit into the blue N95 model, but he saw all the other guys holding the white one, and decided to change. -.-