S is a lady at Dwell who seems to be an odd piece. In a church full of young working professionals, she stands out with her usually unkempt grey hair, walking stick and a smell that usually associates itself with homelessness. Amongst all the regulars, she has near perfect church attendance, and I have never once seen her late. She always sits in the second row from the front, and struggles to stand and sit as per the service despite her severe osteoarthritis. She is not homeless, but it would be easy to jump to that conclusion. Her tattered back pack is filled with little knick knacks and uneaten food, suspicious of some hoarding behavior. She mutters under her breath, and would often give you the side eye.

So when I first met S, I thought hmm odd lady, could use some charity. Over the past year, I've come to realize what a lovely and Godly lady she is! She turns up for church events, shares her prayer requests for her friends, and kept a little diaper coupon that came in her mail just for us when I was expecting. Out of the little she has, she made us a little card to celebrate the arrival of Zoe, and insisted on making a Christmas stocking for her.

At our last Sunday in church, she wound up enough courage (as she says so herself) to ask to hold. Zoe's for a little while, to which I was most glad to oblige. She doesn't have Facebook or email or a mobile phone, so she asked for a mailing address to write to us at. The way she tries to give and show love out of whatever lot she has been given truly warms my heart. :)

Dana was the first person to say hi to SJ and I when we first stepped into Dwell. So it was only right for us to do something to thank her for her years of quiet but faithful service for her last official Sunday at church. Han put it very nicely, that "There are rare souls who are constantly serving, loving and giving in the background without needing to bring attention to themselves. Dana is one such gem." God's quiet servant who sets up faithfully every Sunday, preparing the communion elements/laptop/sound system/worship slides/door signs and then taking them down when the church was barely a handful of people.

So Lily had once casually suggested a Potato Party because D apparently loves potatoes to bits (I never knew haha) and so we did it - pulled off a party of potato things - shepherd's pie, roasted garlic herb wedges, belgian frites with queso dip, potato chips and a potato salad. Topped off with a Cheesecake Factory cheesecake. I was glad to find out that of all the things in the world, potatoes and cheese are the way to D's heart :) It was a lovely evening.

We always wonder (and maybe worry) about that happens when people leave/move on, but God's house and ministry will go on, and so will Dwell. All the best Dana!

Beyond blessed :)

Sat in a minivan as D took us on a 2+ hour drive to Philadelphia Spruce Lake Retreat for the Dwell Church retreat. I had anticipated some rustic chalet (think ECP Chalets) with inadequate heating and weak shower streams but was instead welcomed to a gigantic compound with several different lodges, all fully equipped with hotel like furnishings and a lovely fireplace!


Spent a lovely 2 days with the Dwell folk, just chilling, prayer and worship, and SJ ran a short course on TWTL. The fresh countryside mist was a breath of fresh air from the pits that is NYC, and to top it off we had the company of the best kiddo in town. He really can't get any cuter, little blondie with blue-grey eyes! And not just that he is adorable, he is great to baby sit, just entertaining himself while the adults do adulty things and picks himself up despite being "pushed" off the pulpit as his father is preaching. lol.

So we were at some German bierhaus for the Dwell Community Night and it was trivia night! Two Singaporeans and two Americans = first runners up! We got 8 out of 10 for the physics round (after getting owned by a team of nurses in the drugs round). There was this obscure question about some song written in 1982 so if Pete (my pastor) couldn't answer that then oh well. BUT the final question was "What does the 'c' in E=mc2 stand for?" Embarrassingly, I was totally blanked out! I can't believe it! I have totally failed Mr Tang HB :( And with that, we lost our top prize of $25 off our bill, and instead went home with a lousy bobble head toy.

PS: It is the speed of light.

I feel like this is getting too weird for me. All I want to do it stay at home and snuggle in my bed all day.

If I could choose an age to be in for an extended period of time, I would like to be either in my secondary school days spending my time at sleepovers/doing useless projects, or be very old and retired and drinking kopi all day long at the kopi shop.

27 is a bad age to be. Sigh #growingup

Need to find some inspiration. Let me indulge in what happened over the long weekend before CVM started.

Kota Tinggi Rainforest, YA Retreat 2014

Brunch at Common Man Coffee Roasters, waaaay overpriced!

Today I was told that I practice low level medicine.

Ouch.

11 The LORD said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by.”

Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. 13 When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.

Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”7 Some time later the brook dried up because there had been no rain in the land. 8 Then the word of the LORD came to him: 9 “Go at once to Zarephath in the region of Sidon and stay there. I have directed a widow there to supply you with food.” 10 So he went to Zarephath. When he came to the town gate, a widow was there gathering sticks. He called to her and asked, “Would you bring me a little water in a jar so I may have a drink?” 11 As she was going to get it, he called, “And bring me, please, a piece of bread.”
12 “As surely as the LORD your God lives,” she replied, “I don’t have any bread—only a handful of flour in a jar and a little olive oil in a jug. I am gathering a few sticks to take home and make a meal for myself and my son, that we may eat it—and die.”

13 Elijah said to her, “Don’t be afraid. Go home and do as you have said. But first make a small loaf of bread for me from what you have and bring it to me, and then make something for yourself and your son. 14 For this is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: ‘The jar of flour will not be used up and the jug of oil will not run dry until the day the LORD sends rain on the land.’”

15 She went away and did as Elijah had told her. So there was food every day for Elijah and for the woman and her family. 16 For the jar of flour was not used up and the jug of oil did not run dry, in keeping with the word of the LORD spoken by Elijah.

17 Some time later the son of the woman who owned the house became ill. He grew worse and worse, and finally stopped breathing. 18 She said to Elijah, “What do you have against me, man of God? Did you come to remind me of my sin and kill my son?”

19 “Give me your son,” Elijah replied. He took him from her arms, carried him to the upper room where he was staying, and laid him on his bed. 20 Then he cried out to the LORD, “LORD my God, have you brought tragedy even on this widow I am staying with, by causing her son to die?” 21 Then he stretched himself out on the boy three times and cried out to the LORD, “LORD my God, let this boy’s life return to him!”

22 The LORD heard Elijah’s cry, and the boy’s life returned to him, and he lived. 23 Elijah picked up the child and carried him down from the room into the house. He gave him to his mother and said, “Look, your son is alive!”

24 Then the woman said to Elijah, “Now I know that you are a man of God and that the word of the LORD from your mouth is the truth.” 1 Some time later there was an incident involving a vineyard belonging to Naboth the Jezreelite. The vineyard was in Jezreel, close to the palace of Ahab king of Samaria. 2 Ahab said to Naboth, “Let me have your vineyard to use for a vegetable garden, since it is close to my palace. In exchange I will give you a better vineyard or, if you prefer, I will pay you whatever it is worth.”
3 But Naboth replied, “The LORD forbid that I should give you the inheritance of my ancestors.”

4 So Ahab went home, sullen and angry because Naboth the Jezreelite had said, “I will not give you the inheritance of my ancestors.” He lay on his bed sulking and refused to eat.

5 His wife Jezebel came in and asked him, “Why are you so sullen? Why won’t you eat?”

6 He answered her, “Because I said to Naboth the Jezreelite, ‘Sell me your vineyard; or if you prefer, I will give you another vineyard in its place.’ But he said, ‘I will not give you my vineyard.’”

7 Jezebel his wife said, “Is this how you act as king over Israel? Get up and eat! Cheer up. I’ll get you the vineyard of Naboth the Jezreelite.”

8 So she wrote letters in Ahab’s name, placed his seal on them, and sent them to the elders and nobles who lived in Naboth’s city with him. 9 In those letters she wrote:

“Proclaim a day of fasting and seat Naboth in a prominent place among the people. 10 But seat two scoundrels opposite him and have them bring charges that he has cursed both God and the king. Then take him out and stone him to death.”

11 So the elders and nobles who lived in Naboth’s city did as Jezebel directed in the letters she had written to them. 12 They proclaimed a fast and seated Naboth in a prominent place among the people. 13 Then two scoundrels came and sat opposite him and brought charges against Naboth before the people, saying, “Naboth has cursed both God and the king.” So they took him outside the city and stoned him to death. 14 Then they sent word to Jezebel: “Naboth has been stoned to death.”

15 As soon as Jezebel heard that Naboth had been stoned to death, she said to Ahab, “Get up and take possession of the vineyard of Naboth the Jezreelite that he refused to sell you. He is no longer alive, but dead.” 16 When Ahab heard that Naboth was dead, he got up and went down to take possession of Naboth’s vineyard.

17 Then the word of the LORD came to Elijah the Tishbite: 18 “Go down to meet Ahab king of Israel, who rules in Samaria. He is now in Naboth’s vineyard, where he has gone to take possession of it. 19 Say to him, ‘This is what the LORD says: Have you not murdered a man and seized his property?’ Then say to him, ‘This is what the LORD says: In the place where dogs licked up Naboth’s blood, dogs will lick up your blood—yes, yours!’”

20 Ahab said to Elijah, “So you have found me, my enemy!”

“I have found you,” he answered, “because you have sold yourself to do evil in the eyes of the LORD. 21 He says, ‘I am going to bring disaster on you. I will wipe out your descendants and cut off from Ahab every last male in Israel—slave or free.[a] 22 I will make your house like that of Jeroboam son of Nebat and that of Baasha son of Ahijah, because you have aroused my anger and have caused Israel to sin.’

23 “And also concerning Jezebel the LORD says: ‘Dogs will devour Jezebel by the wall of[b] Jezreel.’

24 “Dogs will eat those belonging to Ahab who die in the city, and the birds will feed on those who die in the country.”

25 (There was never anyone like Ahab, who sold himself to do evil in the eyes of the LORD, urged on by Jezebel his wife. 26 He behaved in the vilest manner by going after idols, like the Amorites the LORD drove out before Israel.)

A fun filled weekend indeed! Sentosa by day, and MAF@Botanics by night :D Thank God for a day of perfect weather, cloudless yet not scorching (:

I had my Paediatrics mini-cex (mid-posting clinical examination) today and it was a relatively simple case of gastroenteritis in a 15 month old boy. I'm so glad its over, like a great burden lifted off my shoulders. I wonder when I'll ever grow out of this exam-burden syndrome. How much more can I be reminded that exams are but exams, that they come and they go? After 3.5 years in medical school, have I not grown used to the barrage of assessments and exams? Still, they never fail to impose this sense of dread and basal worry that keeps you from sleeping, studying and playing in peace. Over the long weekend, I spent a night over at Pulau Ubin for a youth group retreat. I had half a mind to excuse myself from it previously, in view of the exam today. Eventually I decided that it was not worth sacrificing an annual affair for, and headed for Ubin despite it. Over the course of the retreat, the thought of cex lingered, and ironically, I'd say that it occupied a significant proportion of my mind for a large part of the retreat. How do these things so plague me? It's so irrational and bewildering.

I wonder how this will play out when I finally graduate and become a real doctor. Every new patient I see will be an assessment in itself, just that this time there is no case file to cheat and refer to. Am I going to face each day with fear and trepidation? I'd most certainly develop an anxiety disorder.

I can't wait to travel Europe again!

Wow an entire posting has gone by without me posting about it at all! If anything at all, Family Medicine has left me with a wondrous awe of my favourite Fam Med King Prof GLG and the many wonderful things that everyone has to say about him. Like the time he spent 2 hours from 8pm - 10pm post clinic hours to convince and explain to a GP friend the teaching curriculum though he already expressed disinterest in participating. (That GP eventually relented hehe) It also helps that he wear a singlet under his white long sleeved shirt all the time. ;)

Ashamedly, the first time I ever stepped into a Polyclinic was during this posting, and I'm glad I did. Though travelling to Pasir Ris every morning was a real dread, it was made better with KQ's daily chauffeuring and the things that went on at the clinic. Dr Tan NC, director of the polyclinic, really impressed me with his determination to make things change for the better. Scheduled appointments, automated registration and payment were but just a few of the many things that he pushed for to make a more effective healthcare system. There, I also met some very inspiring doctors and nurses. Perhaps the icing on the cake were the kopi and lunch treats from Dr Tan on the first and last day of our posting, coupled with free lunch when the Singhealth Poly CEO came to visit one of the days. (: -is cheapo

Today was spent in church for an afternoon of prayer and the Good Friday event. Being in the sanctuary on a quiet afternoon was something rather refreshing, and the moments there before the cross were precious. I spoke with a couple of visitors over dinner, and found myself feeling more comfortable that I thought I would have been. In many ways I'm glad I was there, and hope for more such opportunities to arise.

Friedrick Nietzche says, "God is dead, we have killed him!" Jesus is dead. Thoroughly, fully and completely dead. But what hope is there in a dead man? We find the answer in Easter and the conquering of death through a resurrection of Jesus, restored to the throne of heaven. Christ has died, Christ is risen, Christ will come again. Blessed Easter to all (:

phew. i feel so relieved now that my turn to write the bible studies on Exodus are now over. it was really quite stressful having to write two and a half studies on very very challenging passages! when Wenkai first asked for people to help him so do, i readily volunteered thinking that it would be more like a process of compiling questions from a guidebook. i hadn't expected to have been staying up till early hours of the morning trying to finish reading commentaries, crafting the questions and writing out cross references and answers to the leader's guides. each time i wrote the questions, i always had this sense of wanting to all the questions to be able to paint the big picture of Exodus. i tried hard to imagine how someone who hadn't prepared the study in depth would be able to appreciate the gems of the passages. there have been so many learning points that i want to drive home, sometimes my brain hurt. its a real pity that we don't have enough time to really go into the intricacies of each passage, character and event.

the study on the Tabernacle really thrilled me, though. this part of bible history fascinates me to no end - the intricacies, the multiple cross references that is made to it throughout the course of the bible, and symbolism and foreshadowing that it projects and the great hope that it points toward. The blueprint of Worship. it kind of reminds me of the days back in SC where we studied English Literature, and the epiphany that one would occasionally feel when appreciating the pattern and the underlying meaning of each writing. being able to see the God's intentions when he gave the Israelites instructions on the building of this physical structure right down to the material and colour of the fabric drives home the fact that the Christian God is a God of consistency and faithfulness. every step that the priest had to perform in passing through the Tabernacle was replaced by the Christ and His death on the cross, the shedding of blood, the tearing of the Veil. i can't even begin to explain the extent of its magnificence!

Exodus has been an exciting journey thus far, and i feel like we're slowly polishing the pearls of the book and beginning to see them in their true glory. i hope i'm not the only one feeling like that :p let's finish it well. :D

in the past 4 days, i

1. set up a Christmas tree in church
2. attended a seminar by David Geisler
3. had Crystal Jade shao ya hua dan he fen (roast duck slippery egg kuay teow) inspired by SJ
4. went to help out at church clinic
5. attended a CF talk by Dr Kenny Tan about the sanctity of life, abortion, birth defects and the like.

all this has turned my head upside down inside out about God, faith and the mind of Christ. i feel like i'm learning to zoom out, to see the big picture, to see God's hand and heart. so exciting, so frightening.

one light that illuminates the room; one Saviour for all of Man; one Lord of all the people of the world.

Rich and poor have this in common: The Lord is the Maker of them all. Proverbs 22:2 (NIV)

...............................................

some photos. no fancy equipment this time. just the good ole F11 (which doesn't seem so good anymore =[).

1. Esther hopping up a Jeepney, main mode of transport around Cebu.

2. Smokey engines, lots of it.

3. a visit to a Catholic church where people were selling balloons (??) and candles outside.

4. People placing flowers at the feet of Jesus being crucified. They would touch the feet and hands of the statues and say their prayers.

5. Candles being lit by worshippers who wish to pray for the dead, that they might ascend to heaven.

6. little figurines of the Santo Nino, a highly adored figure found in households and businesses of Cebu. the doll is believed to depict Jesus as a young child, was given to the Cebu government as a gift in her early days, survived a fire and was henceforth worshipped as a divine power.

7. Ethel's team heading off to a day of ministry.

8. Dennis and the mini guitar that everyone ended up being quite fascinated with by the end of the trip.

9. residents in one of the poor communities in Banilad where my team went house to house carolling.

10. a coy smile

11. another day of ministry in an open basketball court with my team members JH dennis and eliza.

12. prayer.

13. a game of chase. the girl in the middle (in grey) had a shirt torn a little during the game and ended up in tears. she taught me something about dignity that day.

14. one of the OM staff workers Sarah (half German half Filipino) leading the children in a song. :)

15. waiting in line for the giveaways. each giveaway pack contains an apple, some sweets, biscuits and a toy.

16. little girl staring adoringly at Dennis hehe.

17. this is my team leader. hums.

18. location: Tac-an. Wait up!

19. this amazing game where you slap your palms on the pavement to create a gush of air that makes the rubberbands fly. these kids are amazing at it! no one from our entire team managed to master the technique.

20. lovely funny boy who Dennis conveniently pasted a =p on his forehead and named him John. that pretty much amused him.

21. this little kid's sister won the Pass-the-Parcel gift.

22. Esther leading in a time of singing

23. the limbo rock! it was quite hilarious cause there was so many children of different heights, some just walked completely under the string without flinching. x)

24. the highly dangerous game of pinatas. at your own risk.

25. this girl's name is Jelliebe Oila. she's got a twin sister called Jellie Oila. so the teachers call them Jellie 1 and Jellie 2. HAHAH just like B1 and B2, so adorable! the children were all dressed up that day for a Christmas presentation. the moment they returned home, they changed into their own "home clothes", and we almost couldn't recognize them anymore.

26. the speed of light!

27. teacher faith teaching her student how to pray, faith being one of the most amazing (and really pretty) people i met in Cebu.

28. where the children in Tac-an lived.

29.

30. coo-coo-coo-cooooo

31. Christine, JH, Eliza and the kids!

32. making our way to the school for the island ministry.

33. some of the children who have the privilege of attending classes in school.

34. houses by the seaside.

35.

36. diving waters, what Cebu is known for.

37. islanders.